저기요 I was wondering if you'd read the preface to my new story and tell me what 당신 think. Please and Thank you.

Nice story, it was really good...;)

It's pretty good. I got hooked since I started 읽기 it!

so...Jessyka is a firebender, like Zuko, Azula, and Ozai...Mari is an airbender, like Aang...and Lauri is a waterbender, like Katara. LOL, i watch 2 much avatar...but thats kinda' the vive i get. and a darkness? u know how meny 책 i've read with a darkness? the book of lies is something i don't know...and i would read more. u could b a little 더 많이 differrant, though. this is one of the 책 with a darkness.

Great job! And cool describing

nice preface but, from experience, preface is one of the easiest parts.. keep going and if 당신 have the ideas it'll turn out great!=)

Amazing!

thata really good actually. i like it, i'm writting a story too but i don't think mine is good enough yet to even put a little bit of it on the web yet. thanks for letting me read it.

This is pretty good!But i think i would switch the powers a little.You don't have to,but most powers used in 책 are water earth 또는 fire.It kinda reminds me of 아바타 XD.

Ooh! Cool! I'm so gonna buy it when it's published!!! lol. But I will only buy it if 당신 buy my 사랑 story. Deal?

it's awesome yet it's kind of creepy in a way and it seem's to be a suspense full story I 사랑 it.

It's good, but some of the sentences can be combined.

It had only been two months after we had found the book of lies. And already it had taken over two of us.

"It had only been two months after we had found the Book of Lies and already it had taken over two of us."

I hope 당신 understand what I'm trying to say.

Same with:

We were not normal. 당신 could say. We were powerful. And the book didn't like that.

"We were not normal, as 당신 could say. We were powerful and the book didn't like that."

Mari and Jessykia could read people. But I Had much deaper power. I could controll people.

"Mari and Jessyikia could read people, but I had a much deeper power: controlling people."

We only had three left. Jessykia,Mari and me, Lauri.
We where the three the book talked about. The last three living. They called us. We where the last chance of light. Our world was overcome with blackness.
"Jessykia, Mari, and I were the last three left to overcome the darkness threating our world. The last three living, the only hope."

Sometimes I wished Mari, Jessykia and I had never went with Beth and Gina. Jessykia had always senced they were evil.

"Sometimes I wished we had never gone alongside with Beth and Gina; for Jessykia had sensed their evil."

And us the 'last three living' each had a power over a natural wonder. Jessyka was fire. Mari, was air. And I was water. And We The 'last three living'. Had to save our world, from the Book of lies.

"The last three living had power of a natural wonder; Jessyikia - fire, Mari - air, and I being able to control water."

당신 already used 'had to save the world' before, so maybe ...

"We had to destroy this book, before it destroyed us."

I just wanted to give some constructive criticism. Anyway, the story seems very facinating. Good job and good luck! :)

Wow It's to Good For Words

Thaht is very good