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After the snoozefest of last week, this episode started off with a bang and kept on exploding. Things we’ve been wondering about — Does Hanna even want to marry Jordan? How long can Aria secretly ghostwrite Ezra’s novel? When will the Veronica Hastings’ medical news come out? — finally surfaced. But in true

fashion, for every answer we get, we can be sure to expect even 

questions. For the record, this week my main question was: WHERE did everyone get their outfits?! Style on point, from Emily’s velvety jumpsuit to Aria’s ’90s Nickelodeon-looking pizza tee. It’s so much fun now that they aren’t all dressed like high schoolers about to hit up the under-18 club downtown.

So, let’s get to it! Emily, Ali, and Hanna return to Sara Harvey’s hotel room only to find it a giant mess (“This must be what the inside of Sara Harvey’s head looks like,” Emily quips) — it looks like she left in a hurry. But when they head over to the giant hole in the back of the closet it’s…not there anymore. This is just like in 

when they try to get back to Narnia but they just run smack into the back of the wardrobe! Except instead of a crying Mr. Tumnus, the hidden world just had some dusty torture machines. Anyway, room service comes in, so the girls sneak out the front door — but when they close it, the maid PEELS OFF her face (and her sunglasses). So “A” was in the room with them after all. Eerie. Do we think this “A” / Evil Emoji was in cahoots with Sara Harvey and would sneak INTO Sara’s room through the hole? We’ve only really talked about Sara going OUT…

Meanwhile, Caleb is working his hacker magic on the Hastings campaign and assures Spencer he made her mom’s medical files disappear from the Phillips campaign’s server. Further, he promises that his meddling is essentially untraceable. Spencer decides to talk to her mom about being sick after all and convinces her that she needs to get ahead of the story. Veronica holds a news conference, and all goes well…until they find out that someone from the Hastings campaign leaked information about Yvonne Phillips getting an abortion years back — which doesn’t look good for Yvonne’s mother’s pro-life campaign. To fast-forward things a little, Veronica is furious because someone traces the leak to Spencer’s IP address, but Caleb takes the fall. Veronica kicks him off the campaign and out of the “barn” (lol, it’s nicer than any apartment I’ll ever own), and Spencer is like, “Why are you lying?” And he basically says he’s sacrificing himself for the good of her campaign because the election’s two weeks away. Always the hero, that Caleb. My eye is on Mona on this one — remember when she got so mad that the Phillips campaign wasn’t being “honest”? Was this covered-up abortion possibly one of the reasons she feels that way?

Elsewhere in Hastings-land, Spencer tries to ask Melissa how she broke that suitcase (you know, because it might be the murder weapon) after Melissa comes home with a completely new one. She dodges the question by talking about a cab driver in Philly taking backroads to avoid baseball traffic. But Caleb (this is before he’s fired; I’m messing with time here), being a smart cookie and a sports fan, tells Spencer he knows Melissa is lying: The Phillies were away that weekend. 

The Liars (except Spencer) suspect Melissa, but then they’re reminded that if they’re just looking at people who didn’t want Charlotte to walk the streets again, then pretty much all of their loved ones look guilty. Hanna, though, remembers a time she ran into Melissa in a London bathroom a few years back.

FLASHBACK: Melissa is upset and surly. (“I live here,” she tells Hanna when asked why she’s at a Fashion Week party. “Well, not in this bathroom. But nearby.”) Wren is gone, but Melissa tells Hanna, “That scheming nutjob who made your life hell is now after me.” She also calls Charlotte a “twisted sister,” which is so hilarious. Apparently Charlotte called Wren and told him about Melissa’s Bethany Young stuff (you know, burying her alive, blah, blah), and now Melissa wonders who else she’s going to tell. “Someone needs to shut her up for good,” Melissa says, ominously. Then, to prove a point, she calls Charlotte at the hospital, pretending to be Ali, to find out what Charlotte has on Hanna. She isn’t getting through, but Hanna gets upset anyway: “I don’t want to hear her voice!” she screams and throws Melissa’s phone into the mirror. END FLASHBACK. Melissa Hastings: Always. Seems. Guilty.

Aria has a lot to deal with this week: Not only does she have to officiate her parents’ wedding (which, by the way, Mike’s trust issues are causing him to skip), but she also finally tells Ezra she’s been writing his book. Surprisingly, he’s not mad. He tells her not to tell Jillian (because that would only get her fired). Plus, he understands that she did it from a place of love for him — not as a way to sneakily better her career.

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