"I'm so sorry!!!'
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That day... That 일 I felt something wrong, I thought it was paranoia.
But I was wrong, because that day, when the plane crashed... I was at a UN meeting and suddenly my head hurt.
"A-Ahhh ow!" I gripped my hair and felt blood dripping from my nose, my eyes already stung and I heard so many voices yelling, I felt 11 surges of pain spiral out onto parts of my body.
"America? Bloody hell your nose is bleeding!"
"Aiiiiya everyone! I know I'm late but turn on the news, America somethings terrible happened!" I cant hear them, 또는 even feel them. That pain was spreading like a forest 불, 화재 and I stood up, we were in Canada so it wouldn't take me long to get 집 but I stumbled and leaned against a wall
"A-Ahhh! Fuck no... NO!!!" tears fell and I heard the TV monitor play and what I heard matched the voices in my head but I also heard the fire. The crumbling of the twin towers, I could hear children yelling for their parents... I could hear men and women calling for their 연인들 desperately trying to live... I could hear them die. I could smell the plane fuel, the burning metal, the burning skin. The blood...so much blood...
I could feel the heat, and feel their pain, the crushing and agonizing pain. I couldn't stand it, I was their country, I live to PROTECT my people, yet here I am withering in pain, doing nothing... that stung so much, knowing right now I could do nothing. But I had to try. I bolted out of the room as everyone yelled after me.
"America!!!" was a familiar British voice, I ignored it and kept on running bumping into someone and went into a coughing fit.
"A-Alfred are 당신 okay?" I look to see my brother, Canada, I remember him in all the panic and shove him yelling
"I'm sorry I have to go!!!" I cough 더 많이 and look to see blood. Blood. The blood my people were losing each passing second, as I run to my car and get and start driving I wonder to myself
Why is this happening?
Why is GOD letting this happen?
How is this happening?
Whose behind the reasons? Whose pulling the strings? Whose playing with the lives of my people?
I grip the steering wheel tighter as I break the speed the pain building up 더 많이 and more. The flames licking each and every part of my body burning me whole, the pain striking and vibrating all inside me. I tried not to cough because my eyesight would get hazy, and at my speed that's not good.
"I'm coming... please, hold on I'm coming..." I chant on and on hoping... maybe this pain will stop.
----------------------------------------10 Years Later------------------------------------
I open my eyes and immediately feel the tears slide down. I frown and look at my calender and realize what today is.
"Nine eleven..." I sigh and get up, its too early though 9:10 on the dot. God just loves torturing me. I feel my body weak this day, just like every fucking 년 on this day. I feel the sorrow of my citizens and the spite. The bitterness and ache are familiar, but so many of my people, I feel that missing piece, those 로스트 that 일 I will never forget. I think of all their names, I memorized all the people I 로스트 because after the first 년 I wanted to know the stories and pasts of everyone I 로스트 on that day... I say each them in my head as I get ready to start this hard day. Soon as I finish taking my shower, getting dressed, brushing my teeth, and combing my hair I am barely almost done, I say the last one when I get my phone out seeing the few text messages I've gotten.
"Kiku, Feli, Arthur, Matthew, Tony, Mr. Obama, Mrs. Obama...' I don't bother scrolling down any further to see who else offered their 'condolences'. I sigh and put my phone on vibrate and put on my bombers jacket, today I took the 일 off like I do ever 년 so I'm dressing casual, some blue jeans and a plain black button up T-shirt. I decided wearing black today would be respectful.
"...Oh! Forgot my wallet," I run back in to get my wallet and glance at the clock and sigh. This 년 isn't better than any other year... the 년 I failed to save my people. As I leave my room I can feel the quietness and the sound of tears echoing. And that pain rising up in my chest again, that guilt
"Hello Mr. America." I stop to see I've already made it out the door and my usual driver, Alex, a young man about 26, he was pretty much my height a bit 더 많이 slender, and had dark shaggy hair and dark eyes to match. Hes been my driver for 5 years now, hes always been a great guy, personally he didn't lose anyone on 9/11 but seeing him, one of my own, it makes me sad. I smile, but can tell its not convincing,
"Hey there Alex. I'm going to walk today..." He frowns shutting the door, his 밤나무 eyes 검색 my face and I feel a bit uncomfortable but he sighs, and so do I mentally.
"If 당신 say so sir... but 당신 might want to take a umbrella, its starting to look like it might rain." We both look up to see gray clouds forming and the wind picking up a bit. I shake my head and shrug.
"Its okay, it might just drizzle, plus I'm a country, we only get colds 또는 sick usually if our economy's down." He gives me a look and smirks
"Well shouldn't 당신 be in 침대 right now sir?" I smile just a bit and give a dry laugh, hes a really good kid.
"Very funny, you've got a job right? Just take the 일 off, see that girlfriend of yours. I'll be fine." I smile a bit 더 많이 like myself and he hesitates before nodding. He goes back inside the hotel and yells over his shoulder
"I'll see 당신 tomorrow morning Boss!" and with that I turn on my heel and head to my first destination, the 꽃 store.
------------------------------------a few hours later-------------------------------------
I finally had gotten the amount of 꽃 I needed, and was at my 다음 stop. Where my Boss Mr. Obama, the mayor of New York, Michael Bloomberg and my old Boss Mr. 부시, 부시 대통령은 where going to mark the 10th anniversary of the 9/11 attacks. I waited in the very back where 당신 could hardly hear what they were saying. I didn't even pay attention anyway, I just went because my boss said to, I didn't really feel up to paying attention.
"Barack... ya really know how to give a speech man." I put the banquet of 꽃 in my mouth as I put my black leather gloves on because it was raining just like Alex said it might, but it was only drizzling so far but it was coming down a bit harder. A lot of people had umbrellas and a tinge of regret made me wish I had mine,
"Damn it why didn't I listen to him" I sighed and as soon as it was close to being over, I left, and I went to the final destination of the day. To where the Twin Towers fell. There were others but most people were at the real memorial site 또는 where I was listening to my boss speak. 또는 at 집 because of the weather, either way not many people here this year.
"Hello everyone....its me Alfred. Ya know, the hero." I knelled down cracking a small sad smile and exactly then the wind started picking up. I guarded the 꽃 in my 재킷, 자 켓 careful not to ruin them, and narrowed my eyes as the water fogged up my glasses and it was hard to see. I sighed again, this time hanging my head in shame.
"I'm...I am so sorry everyone, I let 당신 down, all of you, the damn terrorist- they got to 당신 and they ended 당신 lives, the lives we will never get back. But hey, Osama is dead. 'Least we wont have to worry 'bout him right? Heh....... well I don't know really what to say. I feel like this only happened last week, now its been 10 whole years... I hope 당신 guys arent still pissed, I did the best I could but I guess it wasn't enough and I paid the ultimate price- losing part of me, losing 당신 all. I can not tell 당신 how much pain this causes me and the ones 당신 all left behind." I stopped as if waiting for a answer but was greeted with the sound of rushing wind and the rain hitting the ground. So I continued,
"You know I 사랑 my people, I 사랑 them and my country, if there is ANY way I could have prevented this I would have! B-But there was no way for me to know, there was no way I could help I-I-I..." I trailed off clenching the 꽃 and shutting my eyes as tears fell "I couldn't be your hero! I failed 당신 and- and 당신 all had to pay MY price! I let 당신 down PLEASE JUST STOP YOUR SCREAMING!!!" I yelled into the storm brewing. I took a few 분 to compose myself and looked up to see a light coming through the clouds of gray, yet it was still pouring and gusts of wind shoving me,
"What the..." I felt the last tear fall as the light started shinning more, the sun was breaking through. I felt the wind settle more. It was 더 많이 quiet yet their were still clouds, and it was pouring but not as windy and I looked up saying in disbelief
"Do...you all forgive me? Forgive me for the fact I couldn't save 당신 and your lives were stolen?" I waited as if I would get a reply and sighed taking the 꽃 out, they were a bit damp and crumpled. I undid the little thread holding it together and smiled a bit, finally feeling the voices in me come to whispers and stop. I sighed, this time in relief and threw the 꽃 up in the air and a smile on my face "I forgive myself. And I know... I know 당신 forgive me too. And I KNOW that your faith in me is restored, I will be there 다음 time- no. Wait, there WONT be a 다음 time, I swear to 당신 and to God, I will never fail my country 또는 my people again!" I feel the rain stop till it was only sprinkling and it was windy still but the 꽃 were flying and the petals flew, the sun coming out 더 많이 showing a rainbow.
"I cant believe it...heh just like the movies." I smile seeing the giant 무지개, 레인 보우 before me and the colors, it reminded me that no ones perfect, and to get a rainbow... 당신 have to shed a few tears. I closed my eyes as one teardrop fell matching mine
"The people we 로스트 on 9/11 will never be forgotten and we will miss them dearly. They will forever be carved into our hearts... we miss 당신 all, but we will live on, live strong, and live smiling for you. Because we know that's what 당신 want," I open my eyes and say the last part in my old confident tone winking at the sky where I imagine my people looking down smiling back, "we know 당신 want us to be happy for you, and we will. May 당신 all rest in peace... and thank 당신 all for everything you've done."
I, Alfred Foster Jones swear this on my life... I will live and make everyday better than the last, for 당신 who were stolen from us to be proud of.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~The End~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
We will live and smile for those of you who were stolen from us.
