The Mess that is Chuck Bass~ Chapter 5
Chuck sank down on the bed, while he tried to digest what Blair has just said to him. “You really do 사랑 me?” He asked in a quiet voice, not yet quite believing her admission of 사랑 for him.
She sat down 다음 to him. “Yes Chuck, I really do 사랑 you. How could 당신 not know?”
He groaned and ran his fingers through his hair. “I don’t know, Blair. I guess I figured that I would always come in 초 to Nathaniel. He’s the one 당신 always chased, not me.”
Blair took his hand in her own, and rubbed his callused knuckles. “That was before, Chuck. I did 사랑 Nate, but my 사랑 for 당신 is so much 더 많이 than it was with Nate. I can’t compare it, because 당신 mean so much 더 많이 to me. You’re my true love, Chuck. 당신 always will be.”
Chuck raised his head and looked at her hopefully. “Really?”
She smiled at him. “I’m one hundred percent serious. I 사랑 당신 so much, and it hurts me to see 당신 in so much pain. I just want to try and make it better.”
They shared a look of understanding, and he put his arm around Blair and pulled her to his chest. She snuggled into him.
“I know you’re trying to help me, Blair.” Chuck began. “But I don’t think 당신 realize how much pain I’m in. Bart was a bastard, but it just doesn’t feel right without him here. I’m broken inside, Blair.”
She looked at Chuck’s vacant eyes, and felt her 심장 break for him. “You’re not going to be broken forever, Chuck. I know it’s hard right now, but slowly we’ll make it better. I have no idea what you’re going through, because nothing like this has ever happened to me. I’ll make 당신 a promise though Chuck. If it’s the last thing I ever do, I am going to make 당신 feel whole and alive again.”
He bolted up from the 침대 and began pacing around the room. “I don’t think 당신 can. This is just so fucking hard! I don’t want to involve 당신 in this. Just go back to New York.”
Blair closed her eyes and groaned. He was shutting her out again. She looked at him and saw the grief on his race, and that made her want to fight for him even more. “I’m already involved, Chuck. I am not going to let 당신 go through this alone.” She got up and wrapped her arms around his waist.
Chuck quickly moved away from her. “I can’t do this right now, Blair. I just can’t.”
She heard the raw pain in his voice, and knew she had to back off for now. Blair nodded. “Alright. I know it’s going to take some time before 당신 let me in. I’ll leave 당신 alone for a while. But if 당신 need me, 당신 know I’m just a phone call away.”
She turned to leave, but Chuck grabbed her arm. “Thank you.” He whispered gravely.
“You’re welcome.” Blair kissed the 상단, 맨 위로 of his head and left.
She had left him alone for six days now, but she Blair was getting desperate to see him now. She had wanted to give him some time away from herself, so he could assimilate everything that she had told him. She planned on going to see Chuck tomorrow, Blair just hoped that when he saw her this time he would be 더 많이 agreeable towards her.
She had sat, stewing in her hotel room for the past week, but Blair decided she was going to go out today and make a fun 일 of it. So she decided to do a little sightseeing. That’s what France is for anyways, right?
Blair went to a few museums, visited the Eiffel Tower, had lunch at a bistro, and visited one of the most famous churches in France. 의해 all accounts it should have been a marvelous day. But Blair didn’t enjoy herself; she was too busy thinking about Chuck. Even when she didn’t want to think about him, he dominated her thoughts.
She walked back to her hotel, while thinking about how miserable she was without Chuck. She wished he would have called her, but if there was one thing she knew about Chuck it was that he didn’t tell anyone how he was feeling.
She entered his room the 다음 일 in the late afternoon, only to find that he was nowhere to be seen. Blair sat down in his 책상, 데스크 chair, planning on waiting until he returned. Two hours later and he still had not returned. Blair started feeling a little nervous and hoped with all of her might that he was not buying drugs 또는 a hooker for the night.
Another 시간 passed until he finally walked through the door. He saw Blair and mumbled, “Blair? What are 당신 still doing here? I thought 당신 went back to New York.”
Her face scrunched up. “New York? I told 당신 that I wasn’t going back without 당신 and I meant it. Where were 당신 just now?”
Chuck shut the door to his room and took a 좌석 on the bed. “I was taking a long walk. I’ve been doing that a lot lately, just trying to escape from everything. And I figured that 당신 went back to New York, because I haven’t seen 당신 in days.” He said, his tone sounding slightly hurt.
Blair looked at him carefully, and decided that he looked a little better since the last time she had seen him. Although he still looked very fragile, like he could come apart and snap at any moment. She went to sit 다음 to him on the bed, and Chuck scooted over making room for her.
“Of course I wouldn’t just leave, Chuck. I thought that 당신 wanted me to give 당신 some time alone, so that’s what I did. 당신 didn’t think I would give up on 당신 that easily, did you?”
Chuck said nothing; he just looked at her with his grief stricken eyes. She moved even closer to him, and laid her head on his shoulder. “Chuck, I need 당신 to confide in me. Tell me how you’re feeling, so I can help you.”
At her words, Chuck moved away from her and buried his head in his hands. “I can’t, Blair. I just don’t know how too.”His voice broke.
Blair rubbed his shoulder until she saw him look at her. She saw the unshed tears in his eyes. “I’ll go first. I’ll tell 당신 something that I never even told Serena.”
He swallowed nervously. He was very anxious to hear what Blair was about to tell him.
Blair sighed. “This is very hard for me to say. I just want 당신 to know how much I believe in 당신 Chuck, and that’s why I’m telling 당신 this.” She took another deep breath before continuing. “The worst 일 of my life was when I found out my parents were getting a divorce. I know people’s parents get divorced all the time, but it just destroyed me. Things like that aren’t supposed to happen to Blair Waldorf. But it did, and I can’t change that. It was horrible when I found out that my father was in 사랑 with a model. A male model.” She laughed bitterly at this. “I’m a little ashamed to admit this, but I’ve always favored my father over my mother. She’s just so cold, while dad is warm and loving.”
Blair felt tears running down her face at the memories of this, while Chuck was unconsciously rubbing her neck. He was trying to comfort her, when she was the one that was supposed to be there for him.
She continued. “This is the part that nobody knows, well except for 당신 now. I went to my father and begged him not to leave us. I asked him to pick me over Roman. He didn’t. I guess he just didn’t 사랑 me enough. I pleaded with him for days, but he still left with Roman. And to this 일 it still breaks my 심장 that he did this to me.”
Blair glanced up at Chuck and saw that he was staring at her with quiet intensity. He was still rubbing her neck, dragging his thumb over the pulse point. “You father loves you, Blair. How could anybody not 사랑 you? I want 당신 to know how much it means to me that 당신 told me this, when you’ve never told anyone else. Thank you.”
Blair smiled at him, tears still running down her face. She wiped them away. “Thank 당신 for saying that, Chuck.” She ran her hand up his thigh. “Are 당신 going to tell me something now?” Blair asked, praying that he would.
Chuck stared at her hand on his thigh, and placed his own hand over hers. He sighed deeply. “Yes, Blair. I’m going to tell 당신 something.”
She waited patiently for whatever he was going to tell her. Chuck looked around the room, trying to will himself to tell Blair this. His eyes landed on a 꽃 pot, and he chose to speak to this instead of directly at Blair.
He took several deep breaths and waited for the anger to stop rolling around in his stomach. Then he began. “I know Bart’s always hated me. I’m not the son he’s expected.”
Blair interrupted him. “That’s not true, Chuck.”
He shot her an annoyed look. “It is true. Will 당신 let me just tell 당신 first before 당신 interrupt me?” When she didn’t say anything else on the matter, Chuck continued. “Bart tried to mold me into the perfect son because I didn’t meet his standards. He wasn’t pleased with who I had become. He told me on 더 많이 than one occasion, that all I would ever amount to is a womanizing, drunken slacker.”
Blair gasped at the hateful words that Bart had told his own son. She had to bite her lip from saying anything. She had promised him though; that she would wait until he was finished before she voiced her opinion. Blair moved even closer to him on the bed, and laid her head on his shoulder. He stiffened when he felt this, but the Chuck wrapped his arm around her waist anyways.
“Bart and I have never really gotten along. But when Lily told me that he was dead, the pain just coursed its way through my body. Pain like I had never felt before. Something in me died with him that night. He’s gone forever Blair, and I’m never going to be able to see him again. Just too even talk to him.” His voice broke, and tears started pouring out of his eyes. Chuck’s arm tightened around Blair’s waist. “I never got to say goodbye to him. All I ever wanted from Bart was his approval and he never gave it to me. Now it’s too late. I loved him and it kills me that he didn’t 사랑 me. Never. In fact you’re the first person that has ever told me that they 사랑 me. Bart sure as hell never did.”
When he stopped speaking, Blair got up and bent down in between his knees. She wiped away his tears with the pad of her thumb. “
“I can’t tell 당신 how happy I am that 당신 just shared something so personal with me. I can’t even imagine how hard that was to tell me. But you’ve got to listen to me, Chuck. Your father did 사랑 you.”
Chuck immediately shook his head, but she placed a hand underneath his chin to get him to stop. They looked deeply into each other’s eyes, before she continued.
“Don’t tell me he didn’t, because I know he did. Maybe not how a father should 사랑 his son, but Bart loved 당신 none the less. I know this for a fact because it’s how my mother loves me. The typical upper east side parent. Cold, calculating, and they show absolutely no emotion. They think they have to be like that so they can strengthen us for the real world. Well that’s how your father was and how my mother is.”Blair glanced at him, and saw that his tears had stopped. “Maybe we’re not so different from each other after all, Chuck. And 당신 said that nobody has ever told 당신 that they loved 당신 before. Well 당신 better get used to those words because you’re going to be hearing them a lot. I 사랑 you, Chuck Bass.” Blair finished.
Suddenly she was hauled off her feet as Chuck stood up. He wrapped her in a hug so tight that she could barely breathe. But Blair didn’t care because he had never shown any emotion like this towards her before. She hugged him back tightly, rubbing his back in a soothing gesture. They didn’t speak because words are not necessary at a time like this.
When they finally broke apart, Chuck stared down at the carpet. He looked ashamed of his momentary lapse in not showing any emotion towards her. But then he looked at Blair, and he knew that eventually everything would be alright. So Chuck asked her the question, of what he had wanted to do since he first saw her again.
“I can’t stay in this room another minute, it’s suffocating being in here. I’ve got to get out. Do 당신 want to go have 공식 만찬, 저녁 식사 with me?”
To Be Continued…
A/N: Well here is the latest chapter; I hope 당신 liked the latest installment. . I’m pretty happy with this chapter. Chuck is somewhat on the road to recovery, all thanks to Blair. So do 당신 like this story? If 당신 are, I’ve got to ask 당신 to review. Thanks. Until the 다음 chapter.