**Don't Harm Yourself, Sam. I 사랑 You...**
I followed Sam into the bathroom as he took his anger out on the poor, rugged walls. "Sam.."
"I can't stand it, I'm a freak!" he yelled, hitting his fists against the mirror. "Sam, you're not a freak. We've been over this before." I sighed, my bony spine prickling up the doorway as I held our infant son. I looked down at Buddy, remembering that he was indeed precious but also, "Mommy's Little Monster."

"I've let myself go through life as a freak, but now my children?! What kind of dad am I?" He yelled, tears welling up in his beautiful, blue eyes....

** Where The 심장 Leads The Hand prt.1**

*** The 다음 day, I was released from the hospital after contiuiously begging the doctors to let me go 집 and be in the comforts of my own surroundings; They agreed to let me go on the condition that I promised not do anything strenious 또는 let my blood pressure get too high.
On the ride home, all I could think of was the joy of hearing my childrens' laughs and soft babbles of their innocence once again. "Let me get the door for you," Dean said, pushing the door back for me. "Thanks Dean," I smiled, Sam carrying the bags in behind me. "Thank God you're...

**The Funeral of Hearts prt.2**

**Sam and Dean returned home, the tires screeching and throwing gravel throughout the driveway. Within minutes, Sam had stepped foot into the house. "Sweetheart," Sam called, "I'm home!" No reply. The silence was the scariest thing about coming 집 at times; not forgetting the incident with Officer Green earlier. Sam's soft patter scrurried across the hardwood floor as he crossed over into the kitchen. "Shela?" Still no reply.

Sam peered around corners as he slowly observed the place; his nerves began to get the best of him. Soft, small sobs echoed in the hallway...

**The Funeral of Hearts prt. 3**

**When I finally woke up, I was sore all over and in a hospital 침대 with IVs in my arms. With a couple soft blinks, my eyes focused and was met 의해 Dean, tearing away at my 푸딩 cup. "Dean?" I whispered, clearing my throat. "Sam! Sam! She's awake. She's awake, Sam!" Dean called out, loud enough to echo into the hallway. Sam trotted in and peered around the corner, a smile slowly creeping on his face. "Hey," he said, "How 당신 feeling?"
"Decent, I guess," I pulled up my 겉옷, 가운 enough to see the damage of the wound, "It's just now I have an extra hole." They both...

**The Funeral of Hearts**

**The 일 following Sam's "intervention" was much better. Though the rain continued to pour from the sky and the 일 was dark, I had convinced Sam that he was no freak indeed. He was winning his battle againest his demonic crave for blood and we were finally going to be a some-what normal family.
Sam and Dean had left to Bobby's for the day, (after vowing to be 집 의해 sundown,)and I was left alone with the twins for the day. I had our infant son on one hip and our infant daughter on the other, as I went to answer the door. "Yes?"
A large, shiny badge was suddenly...

** Where The 심장 Leads The Hand prt.2**
*** The night grew long as I held Sam close to my body; we worked ourselves together throughout. I knew I probabley shouldn't be doing this and should catch up on my rest, but I felt the need to have Sam within me. He was gentle and easy not to press on the stab wound too much; I winced from time to time from the pain rolling in my side as he swayed into me. But in the end of the session, I made it out pretty well and Sam was out for the night.

Still I felt restless..
I didn't smoke but felt the need for a cigarette.

Everytime I managed to doze off,...

One day, I saw the trailer for "The Vampire's Assistant" and thought that it looked like a cool movie. I then went to YouTube and watched the official trailer, and I knew I had to see it. I also read that it was a book, so I reserved for it at my library. I waited for about a month, but it felt like a year! In the mean time, I watched everything there was to watch about The Vampire's Assistant, and I thought how cool it would be to be able to run away and become a vampire.

When I finally got the book, I immediately started reading. I didn't even get through the introduction without realizing...

**** And I Was Lost...****

***While Sam and Dean were gone, dead-set to kill Ruby, I caught up on some much needed rest, due to my massive amount of bloodloss. "I'm gonna die..this is it...I'm gonna die." I whispered to myself, so weak and frail that tears could not pass. An opague, blir appeared in my eyes as what I swore was an 앤젤 came into sight; and in my sight stood the 트렌치 코트 clad 앤젤 Castiel, running his hand on the brass of the bed. "You're not gonna die..I'm here with you." Castiel said, in a comforting voice.
"Are...are 당신 sure? I mean.."
"I'm sure, it's not in God's plans....