Death Eater Roleplay Club
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posted by KateKicksAss
So basically, Voldemort has decided to hold a Death Eater meeting through chat. This is set during Deathly Hallows, before Harry, Ron, and Hermione are captured 의해 the Snatchers/

Malfoy_Is_Awesome has joined the conversation

BellatrixCRUCIO has joined the conversation

Yaxley_Rocks has joined the conversation

silverhandwormtailizawesome has joined the conversation


Malfoy_Is_Awesome: I still don't see why we had to have this meeting online.

BellatrixCRUCIO: HOW DARE 당신 질문 THE DARK LORD'S JUDGEMENT, 당신 FILTHY BLEACH BLOND?!?!

Malfoy_Is_Awesome: I wasn't questioning it, I was simply asking why!

Yaxley_Rocks: Chill out, 당신 two.

SexySnatcher has joined the conversation.

SexySnatcher: So, did I miss anything?

Yaxley_Rocks: Just Bella and Lucius going at it again.

BellatrixCRUCIO: What are 당신 doing here, Scabior? You're not even a Death Eater! And you're not sexy either.

Yaxley_Rocks: Ooh, BURN!

BellatrixCRUCIO: And on a related note, all of your chat names are terrible. Lucius isn't awesome. Yaxley, 당신 don't "rock" either. And you'd think Wormtail could have at least used a dictionary when creating his. And proper capitalization.

silverhandwormtailizawesome: Itz kewl 2 tlk lyk dis nowadayz! Get wit da program peepz! Evry1 on these "computer" thingies tlks lyk dis! I went on dis site called FaceBook 또는 something nd evry1 wuz speeking lyk dis.

Malfoy_Is_Awesome: Is he trying to use slang?

Yaxley_Rocks:....I think so...

SexySnatcher: I think I need to wash out my eyeballs......

BellatrixCRUCIO: SERIOUSLY?! STUPID RAT! CRUCIO!

Malfoy_Is_Awesome: Uh, Bella? 당신 can't Crucio people over the computer.

BellatrixCRUCIO: I TOTALLY KNEW THAT!

Malfoy_Is_Awesome: Whatever 당신 say, Bellatrix....

BellatrixCRUCIO: And "Facebook"? How stupid! Are theses muggles putting their faces in 책 또는 something?

Malfoy_Is_Awesome: that would explain the pathetic spelling and grammar. Must be brain damage.

BellatrixCRUCIO: I think Wormtail was already brain damaged....

silverhandwormtailisawesome: Hey! dats nott very nyce! I cn c wat ur sayin u kno!!

Malfoy_Is_Awesome: Okay, I'm just going to pretend he's not here....

RodIsDaMAN has joined the conversation

RodIsDaMAN: So, did I miss anything? Is the Dark Lord here yet?

BellatrixCRUCIO: "RodIsDaMAN"?!?! SERIOUSLY?

Malfoy_Is_Awesome:....For once, I'm afraid I actually agree with Bellatrix.....

RodIsDaMAN: Aw come on, it's supposed to be cool, 당신 know?

BellatrixCRUCIO: You're not cool, and never will be. CRUCIO, 당신 MORON!

RodIsDaMAN: Bellatrix, honey, take it easy!

Yaxley_Rocks: Once again, Crucio doesn't work through chat!

Malfoy_Is_Awesome: Seriously, Bellatrix?

BellatrixCRUCIO: I am NOT your "honey". I hate you, you're a stupid moron, and an inadequate Death Eater at that!

RodIsDaMAN:...But we're married.

BellatrixCRUCIO: Oh yeah, SAYS WHO?

RodIsDaMAN: Says the.....oh, nevermind.

Malfoy_Is_Awesome: If I were you, Rodolphus, I'd be worried....

RodIsDaMAN: Sorry I'm late, 의해 the way. Took me ages to find one of these weird muggle "computer" things. I had to dress up as a Repairman to fool this muggle family so they'd show me how to use theirs.

BellatrixCRUCIO: SERIOUSLY?! 당신 could have just Crucio'd them and been done with it. What an idiot....

Malfoy_Is_Awesome: I've been away doing some Ministry Business, so I had to go into this muggle 샵 to use one. It's called "Apple" 또는 something like that.

BellatrixCRUCIO: Apple?! Stupid muggles, that's ridiculous!

Yaxley_Rocks: Seriously? Apples aren't even threatening! They could have at least called it "Killer Apples" 또는 something. How are 당신 supposed to threaten people if 당신 don't have a menacing name?

Malfoy_Is_Awesome: ....Um, Yaxley, I think their aim is to sell people these muggle electronics. Not threaten people.....

BellatrixCRUCIO: Think how much 더 많이 they'd sell if they threatened people to make them buy their stupid muggle devices! Idiots!

Malfoy_Is_Awesome: Anyway, their logo is this 사과, 애플 with a bite taken out of it. So ridiculous. It looks cheap too-like are they so poor they couldn't even afford an entire Apple? And I had to Imperio the Salesman.

BellatrixCRUCIO: *rolls eyes* 당신 both are idiots. It's really not that complicated to get a computer. I just 스톨, 훔친 Malfoy's laptop.

Malfoy_Is_Awesome: Wait...you WHAT?!

BellatrixCRUCIO: I 스톨, 훔친 your laptop. It was in your closet, in a hidden drawer with a secret compartment.

Malfoy_Is_Awesome: DO THE CONCEPTS OF PERSONAL PROPERTY AND PRIVACY MEAN ANYTHING TO YOU?!?!

BellatrixCRUCIO: ...No. Should they?

Malfoy_Is_Awesome: PUT IT BACK!

BellatrixCRUCIO: There's some REALLY interesting stuff on here! Dang, nice bikini pictures, Lucius!

RodIsDaMAN: O_O

SexySnatcher: :/ Thanks a lot for that mental image, Bellatrix.....

Yaxley_Rocks: Dang Lucius, I never knew!

FleshEatingFenrir has joined the conversation

Malfoy_Is_Awesome: THAT'S A DAMN LIE! I HAVE NEVER ONCE WORN A WOMEN'S BATHING SUIT!

FleshEatingFenrir: Dang, what'd I miss? Lucius wears women's bathing suits?! Ew!

BellatrixCRUCIO: Ew coming from YOU? That's funny, 당신 disgusting half-breed scum! And what are 당신 even doing here, 당신 filthy werewolf?!?!

The_Dark_Lord has joined the conversation

Malfoy_Is_Awesome: I DO NOT WEAR WOMEN'S SWIMSUITS!

The_Dark_Lord: O.o What did I miss?! Now quiet!

The_Dark_Lord: Now, I trust you've all acquired computers?

FleshEatingFenrir: I had to eat a guy and steal his, but yeah, I got one.

Malfoy_Is_Awesome: My Lord, may I just inquire as to why we're conducting this meeting through an online chat room?

The_Dark_Lord: 당신 dare 질문 my judgement, Lucius?

Malfoy_Is_Awesome: No, no, 또는 course not, My Lord! I was merely curious...

The_Dark_Lord: Do 당신 think I want to travel all the way back to headquarters just to meet with 당신 incompetent fools who call yourselves Death Eaters? I am a busy man, 당신 know. World domination is no easy task, and it saves time for me not to have to go all the way back to the mansion just to conduct a meeting. Now, if you're done asking stupid questions, Lucius...... >:(

Malfoy_Is_Awesome: Of course. My apologies, Master.

The_Dark_Lord: Darn these stupid muggle devices! 당신 can't give a decent evil glare through them!

BellatrixCRUCIO: 당신 can't crucio people through them either! :'(

The_Dark_Lord: That's a pity....consider yourself lucky, Lucius.

Malfoy_Is_Awesome: Yes, my Lord. Extremely lucky.

Nagini: has joined the conversation

Nagini: SSSsssss SssS

The_Dark_Lord: Nagini! 당신 clever snake, 당신 learned how to use a computer!

BellatrixCRUCIO: O.O

SexySnatcher: Whoa...seriously?

Nagini: SssSSSssssSSssss sssSsss SSSssS SssSsss SSSSSS ssSs sss

The_Dark_Lord: FENRIR! Nagini says 당신 ate her stash of dead rats in the basement 비, 빗자루 closet!

FleshEatingFenrir: I had no idea! I'm sorry, My Lord, I thought they were just there! I didn't know they were Nagini's I swear! And I was hungry!

Malfoy_Is_Awesome: 당신 EAT dead rats?! That's disgusting!

NnaGinI: SsssSSSSssss!

Malfoy_Is_Awesome: ....unless you're a snake, of course. In which case eating dead rats is perfectly acceptable.

BellatrixCRUCIO: HOW DARE THAT FILTHY WEREWOLF! Master, I suggest 당신 authorize Nagini to eat Fenrir immediately. For retaliation purposes, of course......

The_Dark_Lord: However tempting that suggestion is, Bella, Fenrir is actually of some use to our cause. That's not saying his actions will go unpunished, of course..... Bella, could 당신 please remind me to crucio him later?

BellatrixCRUCIO: With pleasure, Master!

Nagini has left the conversation

The_Dark_Lord: Fenrir, 당신 can leave. Now.

FleshEatingFenrir: Aww come ON, it could have happened to anyone!

FleshEatingFenrir has left the conversation

The_Dark_Lord: Now, to get on with the meeting. Scabior, I graciously invited 당신 to this meeting so that 당신 could provide us with an update on how many muggles and mudbloods you've captured.

The_Dark_Lord: Scabior!

SexySnatcher: I'M SORRY MY LORD. THIS MUGGLE COMPUTER THING DOESN'T SEEM TO BE WORKING I DON'T KNOW WHATS HAPPENING BUT ITS TYPING IN BIG LETTERS LIKE THIS!

BellatrixCRUCIO: Scabior, 당신 fool! Are 당신 really such an idiot that 당신 can't even use a computer?!

Malfoy_Is_Awesome: Like you've ever used one before either Bella. And is that honestly coming from the person who didn't know 당신 can't Crucio people through a computer?

BellatrixCRUCIO: I have no memory of that, Lucius, 당신 blond moron.

The_Dark_Lord: Quiet! However amusing it may be to watch 당신 two arguing, I am a busy man, and I can't be bothered to just sit back while 당신 two waste precious time ARGUING! And Scabior, just hit Caps Lock to fix your problem.

SexySnatcher: WHAT'S A 캡, 모자 LOCK AND HOW SHOULD I HIT IT?

Malfoy_Is_Awesome: Normally I would call 당신 an idiot, Scabior, but I honestly don't know either.....

The_Dark_Lord: Am I truly surrounded 의해 such utter imbeciles?!

SexySnatcher: I'M SORRY MASTER. ANYWAYS, I HAVE CAUGHT ABOUT FIVE MUDBLOODS AND ONE GOBLIN IN THE LAST MONTH. I THINK I MAY BE ON THE RIGHT TRACK TO CAPTURING THE POTTER BOY, SINCE I FOUND A SCARF THAT SEEMED TO BELONG TO THAT MUDBLOOD GRANGER TIED AROUND A 나무, 트리 THE OTHER DAY. IT SHOULN'T BE TOO LONG, MY LORD!

The_Dark_Lord: Though your capitalization is appalling, that is good news, Scabior. Thank you. 당신 may go.

The_Dark_Lord: ....Like now.

SexySnatcher: I'M SORRY MASTER, I CAN'T FIGURE OUT HOW TO EXIT THE CONVERSATION.

The_Dark_Lord: Fine, fine. Now, Wormtail, an update on the prisoners?

silverhandwormtailizawesome: Wll dah Ollivander man stll dont B talkin but da Loony gurrl sed sumthin bout Nargles da otha dayy.

The_Dark_Lord: What is this nonsense?!

BellatrixCRUCIO: He's trying to be "cool" and use muggle slang 또는 something. I guess his pea-sized brain didn't get it that nothing muggles do could ever be considered "cool".....

The_Dark_Lord: Wormtail, 당신 incompetent imbecile! I shouldn't need a translator! Bellatrix, remind me to give him a good crucio too later.

BellatrixCRUCIO: With PLEASURE, Master!

silverhandwormtailizawesome: Sorry, My Lord. I was just saying that the Ollivander man still isn't talking, but I think we're getting somewhere with the Loony girl-she said something about nargles the other day! Whatever nargles are.....

The_Dark_Lord: That's......interesting. Wormtail, be sure to torture the Ollivander fool some more. He's been there for months already-he should be close to cracking. And find out what in Merlins name a nargle is!

silverhandwormtailizawesome: Yes, Master, right away!

The_Dark_Lord: Now, Lucius, how are things going at the Ministry?

Malfoy_Is_Awesome: Relatively well, my Lord. Some of the underlings seem to be getting suspicious though. And that Umbridge woman won't leave me alone! I think she's trying to hit on me. She keeps trying to talk to me alone and trying to touch my hair when my back is turned!

The_Dark_Lord: Lucius, if I cared about your personal problems, I would have asked. I have no time to listen to your foolish blathering. That Umbridge woman is still useful, so I don't want to hear about 당신 doing anything to her. And 당신 know what to do if anyone gets suspicious.....Crucio first, ask 질문 later. Oh, and be sure to step up the hunt for the Potter brat. That useless snatcher seems to actually be on the trail of the boy and his friends, so be sure he has plenty of backup.

SexySnatcher: 저기요 I'M STILL HERE! I HEARD THAT!

Malfoy_Is_Awesome: Yes, My Lord.

The_Dark_Lord: Now, Bellatrix. I sent 당신 on a raid in London. How did it go?

BellatrixCRUCIO: Excellent, My Lord! I blew up a bunch of shops and a few cars before those stupid muggle....oh, what are they called.....Please-men showed up. They seemed to think it was some "crazy terrorist lunatic" who did it. I crucio'd them all though....after that they couldn't really say anything.

The_Dark_Lord: Good job, Bella. Now start getting prepared-I have another job for 당신 for 다음 week.

Malfoy_Is_Awesome: .....well those Please-men got the "crazy lunatic" part right.

BellatrixCRUCIO: SHUT IT MALFOY 당신 IGNORANT BLOND FOOL! WHILE YOU'RE NICE AND COZY AT THE MINISTRY, I'M ACTUALLY DOING PRODUCTIVE, SLIGHTLY 더 많이 DANGEROUS WORK THAT ACTUALLY BENEFITS THIS CAUSE! Oh, and thank you, Master! I'll be ready!

Malfoy_Is_Awesome: Please. 당신 have no idea how hard it is to keep that imperiused idiot Thicknesse under control!

BellatrixCRUCIO: Malfoy, you're an idiot.

The_Dark_Lord: Worst. Followers. Ever.

BellatrixCRUCIO: No, please Master! IT WAS ALL LUCIUS'S FAULT!

The_Dark_Lord: I must go. I have better things to do than listen to 당신 fools argue. This meeting is over. All of you, same time 다음 week.

The_Dark_Lord has left the conversation

RodIsDaMAN: Okay, I'm leaving to go hide from Bellatrix now.....

Malfoy_Is_Awesome: Good idea.

RodIsDaMAN has left the conversation

BellatrixCRUCIO: THANKS A LOT LUCIUS!

Malfoy_Is_Awesome: Please, Bella. It's not like I was wrong.

BellatrixCRUCIO: I am NOT a crazy lunatic, 당신 stupid blond idiot!

Malfoy_Is_Awesome: Weren't 당신 the one who stabbed the hall filing cabinet with a 칼, 나이프 when 당신 accidentally bumped into it? And kicked the House Elf across the room when it brought 당신 the wrong 망토, 망 토 의해 mistake? And isn't it 당신 who was running around last night at midnight screaming and cackling?

BellatrixCRUCIO: The filing cabinet deserved it! I could've been seriously injured! I was just trying to teach it a lesson! And the stupid elf deserved it! And I was watching horror 영화 at midnight.....the gory bits were so funny....I couldn't help myself, okay?
Why am I justifying myself to you? Moron. I'm out.

Malfoy_Is_Awesome: LOL, I rest my case.

silverhandwormtailizawesome: Whut doz LOL meen? I dint get dat farr in mah slang dicshonary yettt!

BellatrixCRUCIO: Wormtail, you're an idiot.

BellatrixCRUCIO has left the conversation

SexySnatcher: SERIOUSLY, WORMTAIL?

SexySnatcher has left the conversation


silverhandwormtailizawesome: Aww com onn! It wuz an innocent question!!!!

Malfoy_Is_Awesome: I can't tell if you're joking 또는 just stupid.....

Malfoy_Is_Awesome: has left the conversation


silverhandwormtailizawesome: darn

silverhandwormtailizawesome has left the conversation
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