I have a problem. But I don't want God to be disappointed in me about it if I let it out. What can I do?

It's a swearing problem a have. Even though I don't swear at all. But I do be wanting to say a swear word but I feel like I can't. Like not allowed to say even one bad word. I feel like if I do, bad luck comes upon me. Like I'm might be cursed 또는 something. Instead of saying swear words, I say words like" dang, darn, rats, doggone it" and instead of the "A" word I say" anus" but those words aren't enough for me. I just read from some website that swearing is actually good for you. That it a pain 또는 stress reliever. And I thought "really? Well that's good I guess" but I also thought" but those are still not very good words to say. God doesn't like that". I have a confession. I was a freshmen in high school and I was sitting in my gym class. I was trying to make myself swear just a little to see of it would help me out. I tried saying the "s" word. I just sat there on the floor and finally said it very quitly. I whispered it so Luckly, nobody heard me. Then I tried to get myself to say the "A" word but I never happened. I only got myself to say the "S" word. Anyway, after gym class, I went to the girls locker room to change out of my gym close. After I got changed, I noticed my earphones was missing. I looked all over there area a was changing at for those earphones but I never found them. And the rest of that school day, without my earbuds, I couldn't listen to my music. I hate not having music. Do not like that at all. That was bad luck for me. Was that a curse? Was God not pleased of me for making myself say one little curse word? I just needed that to get the pain and stress out. Almost all my life, I've been living with stress with a side of pain and I cannot take it anymore. I need to listen to a sad song but I can't. I need to swear but I can't. I can't do either of those things with God being displeased 또는 disappointed in me about it. I hear my brother swear all the time and that's not even like him. He says some bad words and nothing happens to him. That's no