I've heard people say that letting go is hard to do. And it's true. But the 더 많이 I wandered, the 더 많이 I felt like I had to close something back there. Damn. There was always something. Oh well. Time to end it. I headed back, passing her grave again. I'll see 당신 later sis. And I'll bring some decoration for you. I went back. Damn it all. I had never wanted to come back when I left. 당신 just have to close one door to open another I guess. When I got there, it was broad daylight. So I hung around until it was well into the 다음 morning. 3:00 a.m. No one would be up. I entered, heading down the hall.
I passed my old room, kicking the door open. It was empty. Good. I walked to her room, opened the door, and closed it once I was inside. I eased onto the bed, sitting there. My eyes changed from their natural blue to a faint gold. Nightmares wake people up. And I was looking 앞으로 to this. Why? She was dreaming of him. Again. I often slipped into her dreams, chasing the sweet things away. Call me a creeper, but it was 더 많이 habit than payback. Except for tonight. This was intentional. And, just I expected, she woke up with fear in her eyes.
“Stay still Blade.”
“Hush. You'll only make the fear worse. Now be quiet. Give it a 분 to wear off.”
She stayed still for a 분 and I turned the 책상, 데스크 light on. I stared at her, nodding when my little spell had worn off.
“You did that to me?!”
“I had to talk to you.”
“How long have 당신 been here?”
“In Happy Harbor? All day. Here in your room? Five minutes.”
“Well...what do 당신 want?”
“Did 당신 really have to play me like that?”
“Were 당신 on some sort of high that someone liked you? Did 당신 just play around with me because it was easy to do?”
“Terror, you're not making any sense!”
“Really? Well let me put it this way! 당신 played with me. I loved 당신 Blade and 당신 played with me. What I want to know is why?”
“Terror, I....I never played you.”
“So telling me 당신 loved me was a game? Were 당신 trying to make him jealous 또는 something? Was I just some toy 당신 could dispose of when 당신 got what 당신 wanted?”
“Save it Blade. The way I see it, 당신 used me. 당신 used me to get to him. But the worst part is...I let you. Because I wanted 당신 happy. Because I thought it would go away.”
We sat there, staring at each other. I know my words sounded harsh. But I wasn't angry. I was broken and there's a difference.
“No matter what Blade, I will 사랑 you. Just don't expect me to be here when 당신 two fall apart. Cause I know it will happen. Going with someone like him, it's just like 당신 going with Gage. Look what happened to Gage. That same thing will repeat itself. But just so 당신 know, it won't be your fault. Can't help who 당신 fall in 사랑 with. So thanks. For everything. And about this entire thing, don't go accusing yourself. It's my fault. I let 당신 down. Night kid.”
I go off the 침대 and shut off the light. I walked out of the mountain. I felt 더 많이 at ease now that it was over. I leaned against the rocks, looking down at the city. I wasn't expecting her to come and run after me. I didn't want her to. I was done waiting for that to happen. I took the 꽃 out of my pocket. A blue rose. The stem was a dark green and thorn-less, the petals a soft electric blue. I held it and the 꽃 opened. The center of the rose was bathed in soft light. 불, 화재 was on the inside of each petal, but it didn't burn the 꽃 또는 smell like fire. The whole 꽃 smelled like an ocean breeze, crisp and clean. I remember Sylver talking about these flowers.
She had told me that they are some sort of magic. She was right. This little 꽃 helps to clear your 심장 and see whats inside. I found it in the one place it grows. But if I told you, you'd want it. So the place where it blooms is my secret. I had wanted to give it to Blade. Now I just wanted it gone. I dropped it over the edge and watched it fall. Sorry blossom. All that for nothing. I stuffed my hands in my pocket, walking away. No one would care for it. Only someone who has a broken 심장 can open it anyways. But if 당신 want to know, I looked in the flower. And it showed what was in my heart; something I kept telling everyone. The reason I had to stay away from others. Why I couldn't let my walls down any more. What exactly did I see in my heart? A monster.