Twilight Funnies

Who the fuck she think she is? I'm not a damn puppy, which she can yell at.
I slammed my Volvo doors, taking all the rage on my lovely car. I breathe in trying to calm myself and trying to think straight. That was hard. All my pride was yelling at me to go back where I know Bella still was standing and scream at her more... and more.. and more... and mo- I punched my fist to the steering wheel. I closed my eyes and laid down comfortably in the driver seat.
How fucked up my life can be? Now I will have to clean that damn gym with Swan. WITH SWAN! 당신 know how fucked up this is? A lot. I can't...

Edward: (pov to the 1st one,)
I tried to hide the fact Alice is right. At first, I was telling the truth, but when I was walking down the hall; I did some thinking. I discovered: Alice is right. I want her to be here for a long time so I don't want to make a wish,(at least not yet.)
But one morning, I woke up, trying to find her, and she was dancing? Belly dancing to be exact. It was surprising, yet... sexy, I have to admit. I mean, who walks pass a room, to see a beautiful girl belly dancing? It's not a thing that happens everyday.
I decided to keep quiet and watch. She is really good. I'm...

Bellas POV
What should I do? What should I wear? It was my very first 날짜 with Edward, (and hopefully not the last), but I just don't know what to do! I want to wear something comfortable, yet a bit nice to wear for an ocassion. Got it! I will wear my demin middle- lenght 셔츠 and a blue top. To 상단, 맨 위로 it off I will wear a blue, sapphire 목걸이 that my mother bought for me for christmas. It was for confiedence and plus it goes with the outfit. Usally, I wouldn't bother about clothes, but it was for a reason so... And plus, knowing Alice, she would want me to wear something more, well something...

Charlie was about as understanding as Edward had feared. I hadn't exactly expected anything else, but a part of me had still hoped – in vain – that maybe, just maybe, he would understand and be happy for us.

"I'll help 당신 in the kitchen, dad." I said pointedly when we had finished eating. The way he was glaring at Edward – like he was trying to figure out the best way to get rid of the body – was really starting to get on my nerves; and I wasn't even the one subjected to it. The fact that Lily hadn't noticed anything was practically a miracle. I had to do something before she caught...

I got up the 다음 morning and got up to get ready for school. My phone kept going off. It was Danny, but I ignored it. I decided to where my black skinny jeans and my 담홍색, 핑크 plaid flannel 셔츠 with my black ballet flats. My dad already left for work so I grabbed my 지갑 and book bag and walked out.
I started to walk towards school since it was only a ten 분 walk when a car pulled along side me.
"Hey do 당신 wanna ride.?" The guy asked. He was cute,but not like my Seth. I smiled at the thought of him being mine.
"I'm okay" I said. I thought he would pull away but he kept right along aside me....

Hello, My Name Is: Death
Volume Five
BuffyFaithfan1
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[TWO]
    Along the way, a girl ran up to me, and she looked . She help a whip like that one girl I killed a few days ago.
    "You kill my sister, I kill you!" She said, and cracked her whip at me.
    I raised my leg, and it wrapped around my leg. I brought my leg back and her weapon of choice was now on my right leg.
    "I did kill her, just like I'll kill you!" I said, raised my gun, two shots to her abdomen, and she went down.
    I...

i walked over to the voises slowly not wanting to but knowing i must
"jane" i nodded at her
"rensmee its good to see 당신 again well after 당신 broke my brothers 심장 that is" she snarled ok i saw her brother alec for what 7 months and its been almost a 년 god she needed to get over it. i rolled my eyes.
"jane that was a 년 이전 carnt you-" she wasnt looking a me she was glaring at the 겨울왕국 figue of jacob who had stopped shaking i looked at him trying to get him to run away far. and dont look back but he just started to shake just a little. i turned back to jane who was now glaring at me....

저기요 guys. This is my new fanfic Letters from the dead. This part is all about the past so 당신 get the idea of what happened. If I get a good reponse I will post more.
Hope 당신 like it.
XXXXXX








It had been just under a 월 이전 now that the 사랑 of my life Isabella 백조 was killed 의해 an army of newborn 뱀파이어 created 의해 Victoria.
1 월 ago

I walked out the tent running to get Jacob back for Bella. He just found out about are engagement and wasn’t happy, which mad Bella upset. She insisted I get him back and because I loved her and hated to see her upset I went to get him. I found him at last....

I was sitting in a car, rain pouring down on the roof of my car. I felt dizzy and didn't noticed how my mind drifted into the beginning of this case...
It looked like a simple situation with a runaway teenager, but apparently tracing 15 년 old Flora Gawl wasn't so easy. The girl managed to reach Washington state. She wanted to 십자가, 크로스 Canada's border and visit her boyfriend but while on her journey she had a car accident. I was wondering how she was able to trick hospital staff and get medical care until I bumped into the not very pleasant old lady. She was a reason of all this - her words about...

I felt cold hand's embracing me. Quickly, I turned to Edward, he smiled to me. I saw joy in his eyes, my 심장 fell apart. How could I say goodbye to him?

"Bella what's wrong?" Edward asked me, when he saw my sad eyes. Suddenly I felt angry, he acted like nothing happened. How could he? How could they?

"What's wrong? Is it Renesmee?" He panicked "Answer me" If I could cry, I would. So much pain was in me.

"I saw" I said. Surprise appeared in his face.

"You saw what?" I tried not to look into his eyes, but it failed. Pain, just pain in me.

"I saw 당신 with" my voice beaked. I took a deep breath "with...

"momma someone wants to talk to you" i told her better give her a little warnining
"ok darling"
grandma renne held out her hand for the phone and hasterly i gave it to her
"hello bella" i tried to listern to what mums reaction to her own mums song
i could here her breath in as she recognis the voise
"mum!?" she almost cried
"hello hunny i wonted to speak to 당신 and hear your voise to see if your allright and now i know i guess .."
"mum wait i wonted 당신 to know that i wanted to tell 당신 but thing i mean life is compliscated at the moment 당신 see"...
i could hear her 토론 weather 또는 not to tell...

I'm so sorry It's been so long! Sorry I don't think this chapter is as long as the other's. I've been really excited because I heard Kristen Stewart! Is coming to Australia!!! Then I got really upset because its most likely that I can't go! Because mum has to work that day! So i've also been really sad lately :( Anyway hope 당신 enjoy, Please comment! Also sorry it just stops, I thought since I haven't put up a chapter in ages I should do it now, but i promise that I will try to get chapert 5 up within the 다음 week, if not 당신 guys can keep on bugging me until I do get it up. Please Comment!!!...

Hope 당신 enjoy. P.s The whole story is called Lifetime. I just Thought 당신 might like to Know.

Jasper

“GET AWAY FROM HER!” I shouted to Cynddylan, Aro and Caius. I desperately wanted them to get away from her. If anything happened to Renesmee, Edward and Bella in fact everyone in the Cullen family will be distraught. I thought urgently. I need to do something. NOW! I shifted my eyes to Felix. He was watching Cynddylan, Aro and Nessie. I decided to seize his chance. I kicked Felix in the shin leaving him in shock. I had just fed, before I had been kidnapped 의해 Felix, and I was much younger...

Enjoy!


It wasn’t an awkward walk but it wasn’t comfortable either. He had told me he and his family had seen what had happened in the meadow. He was a werewolf…
I still hadn’t responded to him I wasn’t quite sure what to say.
Finally I said something stupid like “I’ve dreamed about you.”
Dope!
He laughed. But it was a nervous laugh not what I was expecting at all!
“I know…” I was expecting 더 많이 but as usual that was all I was going to get.
“That’s it nothing 더 많이 to add?” I asked a little too curious.
“No… Why?”
After all… curiosity killed the cat.
“Umm…”...

Takes place in New Moon, when Bella goes to see Jacob after he starts ignoring her, determined to find out what is exactly going on with him. And when she does, she gets what she never expected: Jacob imprints on her and Bella must deal with the fact that Jacob is now her soul mate, along with being a werewolf and just as things become normal for her and Jake, Victoria returns, seeking revenge. Now Jacob and the pack must do whatever they can to make sure that Victoria doesn't harm Bella. *The Cullens might be included but probably just Alice when she sees Bella's future disappear after Jacob...

Okay this story will be about a girl who goes to Italy for a class field trip.She meets Alec and 당신 need to read to find out more!!!


My name is Rainn.Rainn Emlyn.I have the worst life ever imaginable.All my life I've been called "rain rain go away","it's raining its pouring","raindeer" and more.It's 4:30pm im on a plain heading towards Italy.I have two of the worst people ever imaginable sitting 다음 to me!
Angelica and Amanda 또는 known as "twidle de and twidle du" yeah I know totaly Alice and Wonderland. They are so annoying.They are always together and dress alike.They finish each others sentences.And...

I went to 침대 early that night, curling up on his sofa again.
It was still dark when I woke. I was groggy , but I knew it wasn’t near morning yet. My eyes closed, and I stretched, rolling over. It took me a 초 before I realized that the movement should have dumped me onto the floor. And that I was much too comfortable.
I rolled back over, trying to see. It was darker than last night—the clouds were to thick for the moon to shine through.
“Sorry,” he murmured so softly that his voice was part of the darkness, but I heard the tension underlying it. “I didn’t mean to wake you.”...

ok guys a really long one here. Hope 당신 enjoy it though.



Edwards POV



I really wanted to tell Bella it was her I liked but it would be too soon

"Ok. Ok, Bella It's you. I like 당신 I really do. Your really pretty." I said in a rush

She opened her mouth but said nothing. Oh great she probably hates me now. I should probably ask anyways.

"Do 당신 want to...you know. Go out?" I asked her. She looked really shocked

She looked like she was going to faint because she was so shocked, and she did end up fainting. Her eyelids fluttered and she fell completley silent, then she started to fall. I caught her befor...

Ignornace

BuffyFaithfan1
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Chapter Eleven: So What Did 당신 Think I Would Say? 당신 Can't Run Away, No 당신 Can't Run Away...You Wouldn't
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This isn't how the terror ended for us...this is how it began! At first, everything seemed alright. Until now. Our plan was working, until now! We were betrayed 의해 two 프렌즈 of ours: Rick and Zo. They were spies for the Ramens, and I knew something was up. But not until it was too late....
A 라면 came by, and was holding Jake hostage in our room. And 의해 'holding Jake hostage' I meant getting...

1. 당신 can enjoy the boquet while resisting the wine.
2. The future is not set in stone.
3. Men are crabby when they're hungry.
4. Nothing beats an irritable grizzly bear.
5. True 사랑 knows no boundaries.
6. Some people are just danger magnets.
7. Even eternal enemies can work together to save something they love.
8. Forget the fangs - real 뱀파이어 sparkle!
9. Soul mates exist, even if it takes 100 years to find them.
10. Porshe 911 Turbos make really great bribes.
11. Friendship is like the sun on a cloudy day.
12. Snow just means it's too cold for rain.
13. Family is about 더 많이 than just blood.
14....