I sat at the 부엌, 주방 counter, gazing at the ring on my finger. I'm not ready to take off the ring Jake gave me, not yet. I know if Will sees it that he will be frustrated with me, but my 심장 still can't let go of Jake.
It has been the hardest thing for me to make Will think I 사랑 him. Kisses with no meaning, words of love, that on the inside I am taking back. It is like Jake is stuck to me. Imprinting is really powerful, because it is sure causing me physical strain.
I look over and see Micah appear. He is wearing his cute blue feety pajamas. He also has his treasured blanky in his hand. It is funny though, because he calls it Ney Ney.
"Hi baby." I get up from my 발판, 자 and he walks over to me. He doesn't talk but just sticks out his arms. He loves morning hugs and snuggling. He calls it love, but with a y for the l.
"Mommy," he starts twirling my hair as he speaks. "I had a strange dream." He continues twirling my hair while I lift him up, and plop us down on the 사랑 seat.
"You wanna talk about it?" I look at his eyes and see that there is 더 많이 to this than just a dream.
"I dreamed that we were walking and 당신 and this big man were holding hands." He pauses and stops twirling my hair. "I think that big man is my daddy." I don't know how to respond.
"Micah," I take a breath and continue. "I know that was your daddy. 당신 want to hear a story about him?"
He looks back up at me and smiles a huge grin. "Yes Mommy, please!!" He twirls my hair again.
"Well one time when your daddy and I were just about to get married, we walked down to a big lake. It was a shiny blue and-"
"My 가장 좋아하는 color." He interrupts me then looks at me to go on.
"We decided to go and swim. So we went down to the water and jumped in the lake. But we looked over and saw a 곰 swimming too." I glance down at him and notice the excitement in his eyes.
"What did 당신 do?" He is nearly jumping up and down with anticipation.
"Well your daddy stood up and walked over to that bear."
"He what!" Micah is going crazy now. It makes me smile to see him so happy.
"And 당신 know what he did next? He started talking to the bear."
"He talked to the bear!" Micah's face has such a huge grin now I almost start laughing.
"And after they talked for a while, the 곰 went away." I smile at him as he sits back with approval.
"I wish I could talk to bears like Daddy." He looks down at his hands and leans into me.
"Well, I bet that even if 당신 can't right now, 당신 will someday. 당신 just have to keep trying, and see what they do." I stop and think that telling him to talk to bears is not such a good idea.
"Maybe start with birds and squirrels first." He looks up and nods.
"That's what I was thinking Mommy." He smile again and I hug him tight. We sit for a while on the 사랑 seat, until he finally squirms out of my arms and runs to his room.
I sand up and walk back to the kitchen. The muffins I had put in earlier are done now. I take them out and pop them out onto a big plate.
Micah runs back in and grabs two muffins from the plate, and heads for the door.
"Are 당신 sure 당신 need to muffins?" I call after him.
"Yes, Mommy. I need something to get the squirrels attention." He smile and darts out the door.
He is so bright. And big for a four 년 old.
I grab a muffin, and step out onto the porch. I glance over at Micah and grin at what I see. There he is with a squirrel, talking to it.
But my thoughts are interrupted 의해 a noise in the driveway.
"Micah, stay in the yard." I yell to him, but he doesn't look up. That 다람쥐 must be deep.
I walk down the steps and around the corner onto the driveway.
It took me forever to find her address. She lives in Colorado now, which doesn't surprise me. She always talked about how she loved the dry air, and the zero bug thing.
I called a cab when I found the address. There was no way I was running from Forks to Boulder.
We were almost there now. I could see why she liked the place. The land was beautiful, and sunny.
We turn onto Folsom St. and see a little blue house. This is where they live.
We pull up into the driveway, and not shortly after, my 심장 leaps when I see her round the corner.
It seems like I haven't seen her in ages. Last time I saw her she had a big pregnant belly and curly hair. Now she wears it straight. She has on a light yellow t-shirt and faded jeans. She has a 머핀 in her right hand.
I can tell she is peering into the car, because her eyes are squinted.
I finally can't control my self anymore and I open up the car door. I step out on the pavement. And when I turn to face her, her mouth drops open, the muffing falling from her hand.
"Nessie," I start and begin again. "Nessie I," But I stop talking and we just run to each other.
She leaps into my arms and wraps her arms around my neck. She is crying, and I just laugh with relief.
"Jacob." She pulls back and kisses me. We stand in the driveway and 키스 each other like we've never kissed before.
But a little voice interrupts our reuniting.
"Mommy, the 다람쥐 said-" The voice pauses. We pull apart and she runs over to a little boy, which I instantly know is Micah. I just stare. He is so amazing, it hurts me that I missed so much of his life.
She hugs him as he stares at me. He has green eyes that can pierce through you. I think Edward's used to be that same color.
"That's the man."He whispers to her without removing his eyes from our gaze.
He continues,"Your my Daddy." He pulls himself from her arms and walks towards me. I step closer to him and when he reaches me, he looks up then wraps his arms around my legs. I lean down and hug him tight in return.
"Hi." He says. I smile and hold him tighter.
"Hi" I look up at Nessie and see a tear running down her cheek. A small smile etches on her face.
I look back down at Micah and see he is staring at me again.
"I'm so sorry I've been gone." I look at his face and see so many of my own features. He has my jaw shape and ears. I wish I could say that I knew him so well that I couldn't even see the difference, but I can't.
I stand back up and look at Nessie. She seems sad. Just 초 이전 she was happy.
Her eyes meet my gaze and she turns her head away quickly.
Micah walks over to her and whispers something in her ear. He then walks back into the yard.
"What's going on?" I walk towards her and she crosses her arms across her chest.
"Please don't be angry with me." She pauses and when I don't say anything she continues.
"I'm engaged." It hurts me to the core. She can't even look at me. How could she do this to me?
Micah's excitement over the bear