Time was always slow with Jake not around. I regretted telling him I would drive myself, I wanted to see him and an 시간 felt too long. I sprawled myself across the couch, my wet hair dangling over the end. I spent extra long in the shower. I flicked through the channels, my eyes constantly switching back and forth from the 텔레비전 to the clock. I decided to watch some romantic-comedy, I didn't even take notice of the name. As the clock approached five, I went to dry my hair, it was still damp. The 나비 in my stomach returned without an invite. "Go away," I murmured, glancing at my stomach. I had never went out of my way to look good for, Jacob, but tonight I felt different. "No, 당신 can't, he will know something is up," I muttered to myself, "now stop talking to yourself, 당신 psycho." Well if he loved me all along, he will 사랑 me the same now, even if I don't go out of my way to try and make myself look amazing, I thought. At least now, I was thinking to myself and not talking to myself.
I switched off the t.v, took my keys from the counter and left the house. I decided to take my moms truck, I preferred driving it. My father had bought my mother a new car when they got married but she missed her truck too much so he bought her the newer version of it and she has refused to part from it ever since.
I drove slowly to La Push, that was something I was not used to. Even my father usually tells me to slow down and he drives like a maniac. But if I had drove at my normal speed I would have been there too early.
I pulled into an empty parking 우주 and watched as the 주황색, 오렌지 flames burned high. People chatted happily as teenage girls giggled staring at Embry, Quil, Seth and the rest of the pack. I could hear hearts beat in sync with each other as couples ran from the water, trying to avoid the crashing waves.
Then, I saw him, running up the steps to greet me. He must have heard my 심장 speed up because I heard him laugh under his breath. I jumped out of the truck a little too enthusiastically.
He took me in his arms and tightly pressed me against him, "Missed you." He whispered.
"Missed 당신 too." I replied.
"How was your day?" He asked as he led me down the steps onto the beach. I could feel the golden grains of sand slip into my shoes.
"Slow and painful." I answered honestly.
"Mine too." He smiled. "C'mon, the guys want to see you."
I saw Seth walk swiftly towards me, I slowed, thinking he was going to walk straight into me. but the whole six foot six inches of him swept me from the ground and spun me around in his arms. "Well, hello, stranger." He laughed.
I slapped his shoulder, "Put me down." I tried to yell but the laughter caught in my breath. I saw the 바닷가, 비치 spin around and around. The sequence of ocean, bonfire, truck, cliff repeated as my eyes began to swirl
"Ok, I think 당신 should put her down." I heard, Jake, advise Seth. He set me on my feet but my head was still spinning. I felt Jake's warm hand around my waist, "Whoa, hold on there. People will think you're intoxicated." Yeah, intoxicated 의해 you, I almost spat out, but I bit on the inside of my jaw to stop myself. He gripped my waist to steady me.
"I'm fine." I reassured him.
"Renesmee," I heard Billy call. I glanced down towards the front of the bonfire where he sat in his wheelchair. I skipped down towards him and wrapped my arms around his neck. "Good to see you, Renesmee."
"You too, Billy. It has been too long." I said sarcastically and he chuckled loudly.
We sat 의해 the bonfire most of the night. I chatted with Emily, Sam's wife for awhile and Jacob's sister, Rachel. I watched as, Billy enthusiastically told stories of the elders and the troubles they came up against. I felt so proud of Jacob, he was extremely brave, he came up against so much, he gave up his human life to be a wolf. But not only was he brave, he went against his nature to be with me, to protect me, to 사랑 me, to just be there for me, it went totally against what he was.
I took hold of his hand and gripped it tightly. He didn't look at me, just flinched a little as the coldness of my skin blanketed his warm hand. Our skin was so different, so unusual as his fingers intertwined with mine. How could something so different, look and feel so right? I heard his 심장 stammer for a moment, then pick back up its pace. He lifted my hand and separately 키스 the tip of each of my fingers.
It was then that I saw how Leah's face was scarred with bitterness as she watched, Jacob. My eyes narrowed as I gazed at her. Her black eyes bore through me like knives. Leah and I were never exactly best 프렌즈 but I had never given her a reason to look at me like that. It had been like that a lot lately. She never gave me time to ask her why. Any time I came close to her she would disappear.
"Did I do something wrong?" I asked, the worried tone was obvious as I spoke.
"What?" Jake asked as he moved my hand away from his mouth. I placed my hand to his cheek to use what my parents called my gift to show him what I meant. I showed him how Leah was staring at him all of the time, the odd looks she had been given me and how she walked away every time I came anywhere near to her.
His eye's darted towards her. His face became suddenly angry and his hand began to shake under mine. "Stop it." I demanded but his hands still shook like an earthquake, "Jacob Black, don't 당신 dare phase with me 다음 to you." I knew that would catch him. "It's not that bad. I'm just afraid I did something wrong." I heard his pulse slowly return to its regular beat.
"Oh sweetheart, 당신 could never do anything wrong." He said as he took my face in his hands and kissed my cheek. Again, I felt my blood get hot under my skin because I knew the rest of the 늑대인간 could hear him speak. 뱀파이어 were not the only ones with over-sensitive hearing. Seth whistled from the other side of the bonfire, but everyone just looked at him confused.
"Not to you, maybe. But everyone here has not imprinted on me." I reminded him, this time so low I was sure only he could hear me. His eye's returned to were Leah was sitting, but she wasn't sitting there anymore. I followed her foot prints, she was rushing down the 바닷가, 비치 like a storm. "See what I mean?" I asked.
"Ugh! Can I not even 키스 her on the cheek now, Leah?" He muttered to himself, he did not mean for me to hear and I didn't act like I had.
"I'll be back before 당신 know it." He promised as he jumped from his chair, he was already gone before I could say anything 더 많이 to stop him. He was gone chasing after her down the beach.
I was about to follow him when Sam caught my arm. "Sit down, Renesmee!" He ordered with a tone of authority. "They both need to talk." I sat back down without asking any 더 많이 questions. I just stared down into the dark 바닷가, 비치 where he had disappeared. They had not phased, I would have heard them do that. My chest moved rapidly up and down as my breathing came faster and faster. Seth's eyes were sympathetic as he glanced at me. I didn't know if the strange feeling I was getting was curiosity 또는 jealousy. Maybe it was both but all I could do was wait...... Just wait.
Leah had returned about thirty 분 after, but Jacob did not. I was getting anxious and Leah's stare made me even 더 많이 uncomfortable than before. I could have sworn there was a slight smile on her face.
The waiting thing was not working for me. Seth did his best to try and occupy me, but I couldn't wait any longer. I pressed my palm against his cheek, it was easier for me to communicate this way and at least I knew that nobody knew what I was saying, although, I was sure they would have guessed.
Are 당신 done with the distractions, Seth? I need to see Jacob. Now! I sent my thoughts from me to him. He just nodded and sighed. Seth was always easy to persuade, he was such a softy. Any Idea where he might be, I asked, my hand still touching his skin.
"If I knew I would tell you, Ness, but I don't. Ask, Billy, he might know."
I walked quickly towards, Billy who was sitting chatting to people I did not recognise. I figured it would be easier for me to actually talk to him. "Hey, Billy!" I interrupted. "Sorry for being so rude, but would 당신 know where your son might be?"
He smiled softly and gestured for me to lean down to him. "See that cliff up there," He pointed to a cliff over to the right. It was so high up I had to tilt my head the whole way back to look at it. "His mother used to take him up there when he was little, he goes there all the time. So, I would bet my life that he is sitting up there looking at the ocean."
Again I walked quickly to the bottom of the cliff, but this human pace was far too slow for me. When I knew nobody could see me, I ran up the cliff at a pace that made my skin tingle as the wind whipped at it. I never knew, Jake had his own special spot.. Of course I couldn't expect him to tell me everything.
I got to the 상단, 맨 위로 and Billy was right, he was standing there, his back to me watching the black ocean as it swayed in the night's gentle breeze. He did not turn to look at me but he must have heard my foot steps, because he began to speak, no not speak, shout. "What do 당신 want?" He demanded. "You are constantly there. 당신 think because we spend so much time together that I want to be with 당신 every 초 of the day. 당신 know I could never 사랑 you, I thought 당신 dealt with that. Now, just go away." His cold words fell from his mouth and hit me like ice-bergs. His muscular back was still turned to me, not once did he turn around to look at me. I stood there 겨울왕국 for a moment, my legs felt like bricks. Had Jacob actually said that to me? Had my Jacob said that to me? I opened my mouth to say something but all I felt was air. Moist, salty air. My head began to spin until I realized I had to leave. I had to leave before I got sick. My body went into auto mode. It wasn't actually me, I couldn't feel anything. I was numb. I wonder was that how my mother felt when my father left her, when she thought he didn't 사랑 her, but he did. It must have been how she felt. Jacob didn't 사랑 me in the way I wanted him to, in the way I thought he did, in the way he showed me he loved for the last year. Thinking of it made me feel dizzier.
I somehow made it to the truck. I could hear Seth calling my name but I did not respond. I opened the door and dragged myself onto the seat. The engine roared to life. I drove with his word's constantly swimming in my head like a scratched CD. I was driving for about twenty 분 when his words finally stopped. It felt like they had left my mind and seeped through my body like water. It hit me like something tugging viciously at my rib cage. I couldn't breath. I found myself counting to ten in my head and trying my best to inhale and exhale at a regular pace. I pulled over onto the side of the road, the dust hitting off of the windscreen. The moon shone on the tiny particles of dirt as they swirled in the air.
I needed to get out of the truck. I opened the door, slowly dragged my legs over the side and slid down from the seat. My legs felt as if they were going to take me to the ground. I leaned my back against the cold red metal. That was when I heard the roar of the engine from his truck, coming nearer and nearer to me with every second. I could smell the fumes from the exhaust. The nearer he got the stronger the smell. He must have been close. How come I didn't hear it sooner? I wondered to myself. But I already knew the answer. I hadn't noticed anything as I drove, it was only when the reality of the last twenty 분 caught up to me did I start to make sense of my surroundings.
I could hear his truck slowing, he obviously caught my scent and knew I was no longer moving. He was getting closer. How much did he want to say to me? He had a whole eight years to catch up on. My mind replayed over the last eight years, he was always there. There wasn't a memory I had without him in it. But I never forced him to stay with me, well at least I think I didn't. I knew he had imprinted on me but I didn't know that it meant 당신 could start to hate someone. "Ugh, this does not make sense." I blurted. Then 이미지 of the last 년 flashed in my mind: Jacob holding my hand, 키싱 my finger tips at the bonfire, cupping my lower back with his warm hands as he pulled me towards him, sleeping in his arms at night, 키싱 everywhere on my face apart from my lips, it was like he was waiting for me to give him permission to do that, but we came close to it so many times, the look on his face if I talked to a guy he did not know. All these things and so many 더 많이 flooded my mind. But it did not add up. What did I do?
A bright light abruptly shook me from my thoughts. I saw him behind the wheel, turning off the engine and staring at me. What 더 많이 could he do to me now?