I recently read an post from Twilight widower on Twilight Widowers Anonymous( it's a support site for husbands, boyfriends and life partners of Twilight addicts). It cracked me up and i want to share it with you.
Onward and Upward
Firstly, please accept my apologies for the incredibly tardy post. As 당신 can imagine, since
the 사진 of Robert Pattinson standing shirtless in Italy were released, it has been very difficult for me to get near the computer.
(I thought I could sneak a post in earlier this week, but then - alas - the New Moon trailer came out. Add to that the particularly fine weather we've been having in Vancouver lately, and 당신 can perhaps forgive me for my lapse.)
It was, in fact, the release of the infamous "shirtless photos" that finally tipped me off to some peculiar behaviour my wife had been exhibiting for some time now.
Shortly after the "shirtless pictures" went online, my wife just happened to stop 의해 the local sporting goods store and brought 집 a set of weights.
"Well, it's summer soon," she said, 의해 way of explanation. "You want to look good for the beach, don't you?" she asked innocently, in between replays of the animated shirtless vid on YouTube.
I became suspicious.
Was I being groomed to look like Edward Cullen?
This wasn't the first time this had happened. Up until a few weeks 이전 I wouldn’t have guessed how many brands of glitter body paint there are. And I remembered an odd conversation we had a while 이전 over the 공식 만찬, 저녁 식사 table:
"Stare at me."
"What?"
"Stare at me like 당신 want to eat me."
I frowned. She waited patiently.
"No. That just looks constipated."
It's easy to tell if you're being groomed to look like Pretty McSparkle. Pay close attention to your wife's behaviour and you'll soon picked up the pattern:
1. 랜덤 gifts of hair gel ("Try putting your hair up for a change, honey.")
2. Signing 당신 up for 피아노 lessons ("You said 당신 wanted a new hobby.")
3. An unusual interest in your skin care routine ("The UV index is too high. here, wear this SPF 50 sunblock. And a hat. And cover your arms up.")
4. Your wardrobe has taken a decidedly… vintage look lately (“It's what all the guys are wearing now, trust me.”)
Honey? Why can't I wear shorts to the beach?
5. 당신 are certain she keeps calling 당신 의해 a different name (“No, 당신 misheard me… I said “I 사랑 you, onward!”)
6. She makes 당신 stand out in the cold for a half-hour before letting 당신 come to 침대 (“It’ll tighten your pores”)
It may be paranoia on our part, I admit. But just remember, when she pages 당신 at work and 당신 hear “phone call for Mr. Cullen,” odds are it isn’t just a slip on her part…
A good post huuh?
Here's the link to the page if 당신 want to read some 더 많이 link
Onward and Upward
Firstly, please accept my apologies for the incredibly tardy post. As 당신 can imagine, since
the 사진 of Robert Pattinson standing shirtless in Italy were released, it has been very difficult for me to get near the computer.
(I thought I could sneak a post in earlier this week, but then - alas - the New Moon trailer came out. Add to that the particularly fine weather we've been having in Vancouver lately, and 당신 can perhaps forgive me for my lapse.)
It was, in fact, the release of the infamous "shirtless photos" that finally tipped me off to some peculiar behaviour my wife had been exhibiting for some time now.
Shortly after the "shirtless pictures" went online, my wife just happened to stop 의해 the local sporting goods store and brought 집 a set of weights.
"Well, it's summer soon," she said, 의해 way of explanation. "You want to look good for the beach, don't you?" she asked innocently, in between replays of the animated shirtless vid on YouTube.
I became suspicious.
Was I being groomed to look like Edward Cullen?
This wasn't the first time this had happened. Up until a few weeks 이전 I wouldn’t have guessed how many brands of glitter body paint there are. And I remembered an odd conversation we had a while 이전 over the 공식 만찬, 저녁 식사 table:
"Stare at me."
"What?"
"Stare at me like 당신 want to eat me."
I frowned. She waited patiently.
"No. That just looks constipated."
It's easy to tell if you're being groomed to look like Pretty McSparkle. Pay close attention to your wife's behaviour and you'll soon picked up the pattern:
1. 랜덤 gifts of hair gel ("Try putting your hair up for a change, honey.")
2. Signing 당신 up for 피아노 lessons ("You said 당신 wanted a new hobby.")
3. An unusual interest in your skin care routine ("The UV index is too high. here, wear this SPF 50 sunblock. And a hat. And cover your arms up.")
4. Your wardrobe has taken a decidedly… vintage look lately (“It's what all the guys are wearing now, trust me.”)
Honey? Why can't I wear shorts to the beach?
5. 당신 are certain she keeps calling 당신 의해 a different name (“No, 당신 misheard me… I said “I 사랑 you, onward!”)
6. She makes 당신 stand out in the cold for a half-hour before letting 당신 come to 침대 (“It’ll tighten your pores”)
It may be paranoia on our part, I admit. But just remember, when she pages 당신 at work and 당신 hear “phone call for Mr. Cullen,” odds are it isn’t just a slip on her part…
A good post huuh?
Here's the link to the page if 당신 want to read some 더 많이 link
For all the Zoey McDaniel fan, Should I do a POV in some one elses few of Zoeys life? Like Alice, Jasper, Bella, Emmett, Esme, Carisle, 또는 Collin. 또는 do yall want me to keep doing Zoeys POV?
Thanks!!!!!
Sk8bordNewMoon
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Thanks!!!!!
Sk8bordNewMoon
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ok don't get me wrong I 사랑 the Cullens but take a look at what I would do if I was a Cullen
I would hot wire Edwards car and take it for a joy ride
I would go into my life story when ever I'm board
I would never sleep so I would jump all over
I use the saying "oh bite me" alot and I don't normaily get into fights but this is the Cullens we'r talking about
Sometimes I say my thoughts out-loud
I would think about Jakes body
I would be mad that I'm young and no guy would want to 날짜 a girl like me
I'd copy Edward
I'd piss off Edward
^^If I did I'd say Bella did it^^
I might crack up when he trys to hold his anger
I would jump off a big 나무, 트리 a yell "I belive I can fly"
And most of all I'm Crazy
So tell me if I should be a Cullen
I would hot wire Edwards car and take it for a joy ride
I would go into my life story when ever I'm board
I would never sleep so I would jump all over
I use the saying "oh bite me" alot and I don't normaily get into fights but this is the Cullens we'r talking about
Sometimes I say my thoughts out-loud
I would think about Jakes body
I would be mad that I'm young and no guy would want to 날짜 a girl like me
I'd copy Edward
I'd piss off Edward
^^If I did I'd say Bella did it^^
I might crack up when he trys to hold his anger
I would jump off a big 나무, 트리 a yell "I belive I can fly"
And most of all I'm Crazy
So tell me if I should be a Cullen
hi i dont know what to call this but heres the first chapter if 당신 have any ideas tell me
"Alice we don't need to dress up it's just high school.again." I said under my breath.
"Oh come on Bella can't 당신 let me have some fun today."
"Fine." I said giving up trying to argue with Alice. Alice had me in dark washed skinny jeans and high heel ankle boots,with a purple long-sleeved layered casual t.
"Just today though."Not wanting her to get the wrong idea that i would let her do this everyday.
"Agreed.Now stay still I'm almost finished.
"Time to go Renesemee,Jacob."I yelled upstairs. Jacob was now moved in with us we all pretty much not breath anymore but we had to get used to it again since we can go to schol again beacause renesemee is 7 now and stoped ageing
"Alice we don't need to dress up it's just high school.again." I said under my breath.
"Oh come on Bella can't 당신 let me have some fun today."
"Fine." I said giving up trying to argue with Alice. Alice had me in dark washed skinny jeans and high heel ankle boots,with a purple long-sleeved layered casual t.
"Just today though."Not wanting her to get the wrong idea that i would let her do this everyday.
"Agreed.Now stay still I'm almost finished.
"Time to go Renesemee,Jacob."I yelled upstairs. Jacob was now moved in with us we all pretty much not breath anymore but we had to get used to it again since we can go to schol again beacause renesemee is 7 now and stoped ageing