I wasn't sure where this was going at first. I've figured it all out now, hope people like it :)
I apologized to everyone and explained that Edward and I were going to go hunting. I had to tell Jasper that I would be back, and that I just needed to get away from the house for a while. He didn't want to let me go, but knew that this is what I needed right now. He sent a wave of 사랑 flowing over me, I smiled up at him and kissed his hand as I walked over to the doors.
"Don't worry, I will explain what I read as soon as I have time to process it all." I said to my loving family as I turned and ran out the back door looking back up at the 도서관, 라이브러리 where the book sat, wanting to go read 더 많이 but knowing that I needed to get away.
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Edward and I ran in silence, niether of us really hungry. He knew that what I needed at this point was to get away from the house, away from the family that we both loved emmensly.
I needed time to think over my past, 또는 what I knew of it at this point. I couldn't allow myself to think about it while running, not because I would run into anything. That wouldn't happen, running was something that I really enjoyed. More, I knew that if I allowed myself to think that I would begin to hurt again and I wasn't ready for that just yet.
We ran to the edge of Olympic National Park and slowed to a walk. I began kicking the bracken at my feet, not really looking around just kind of 로스트 in myself.
"Well, what are 당신 in the mood for?" Edward asked in a concerned tone.
I looked up at him and smiled. I hadn't taken much time to spend with my "brother." We were closer then any of the other members of the family, yet with everything that had happened the last few weeks we hadn't spent much time together.
I smiled up at him while thinking about my response.
"Ummm I think it's your turn to pick, I chose the entre last time." I laughed, making 코멘트 about our meals made us all seem 더 많이 normal.
He smirked down at me and laughed, "Alright, my choice. Hmmm let's see, mountain lion with a side of 노새 deer?" He joked.
"Sounds good to me, with a 여우 for desert?" I joked as I ran past him letting my sense of smell take over.
We hunted together, suprising a mountain lion as it pawed at the ground trying to make it's self comfortable. When we finished that Edward sprang to his feet and ran off looking back over his shoulder thinking "I'll beat 당신 to the deer."
I knew that he was trying to distract me, and at this moment I was actually enjoying myself and knew that he was faster then me but I was smaller and could menouver easier.
We both took off running west as fast as we could following the scent of a heard of deer that were grazing in a field. I took my dear down first, it wasn't the largest but I was very full and just wanted to win.
When I finished I moved over to a fallen 나무, 트리 and sat on it playing with a 데이지 that was near my feet. I began pulling the petals off the 꽃 one 의해 one, 더 많이 out of boredome then anything else. I was relaxing, wishing that I hadn't ate as much as I did when Edward moved infront of me.
"Bella's birthday is coming soon, what do 당신 think we should do?" He asked as he kicked the leaves 의해 his foot.
I knew he was distracting me, but at this point I was happy to have him here.
"I was thinking A LOT of pink. I know it's not her favorite, but it's been so long since we had a real birthday party." I said playing along.
"You realize that she is not going to like that at all, right?" He asked.
"She may not like it now, but she'll enjoy herself and it will be a party that she never forgetts." I said as I closed my eyes focusing on Bella's birthday party.
Since nothing was planned in stone, there wasn't much to see. I saw that the entire family would get together, and would spend the night celebrating Bella's birthday.
He shook his head thinking about how she would react, and laughed.
"Alright, 당신 need to talk about this. I know 당신 wanted your privacy, but we're out here for a reason and it's not Bella this time." He said as he sat 다음 to me on the log.
I looked up at him and sighed.
"As 당신 know I was in the Battle Creek Asylum, I was in solitary confinement a lot and that meant I was alone. It seems someone who worked there who just goes 의해 "G" snuck me the journal so that I had a way to communicate." I said as I took the petal of the 데이지 and began twirling them and braiding them togeter.
"The first entry was about my family, apparently I saw a branch falling off the 나무, 트리 that would have crushed my sister so I told her to move. She did and a few 초 later the branch fell exactly where she was sitting. She ran to the house and told our mom all about what happened. I guess this wasn't my first vision, because I was affraid of when my father got home. I knew he would be mad." I was whispering at this point. The emotions were flooding through me, I was crushed, hurt, dejected, lost, and angry.
"You don't have to tell me Alice, none of this matters, 당신 are who 당신 are now not because of your past. It's who 당신 made yourself, 당신 are strong, loved, happy, sometimes annoying, kind of a pain." He joked as he smiled.
"Thanks for the encouraging words Edward." I said as I laughed at him. "I think it's helping to tell you, it's kind of like a weight is being lifted, I knew 당신 wouldn't judge me. That's why I asked 당신 to come with.
I smiled up at him and decided to continue my story.
"Well, father came 집 and obviously wasn't happy about what happened. I mean he was happy that Cynthia wasn't hurt, but not that I was being diffrent and "seeing" things again. He was so worried about being accepted 의해 his 프렌즈 that he knew that if someone knew I was "diffrent' that he wouldn't be accepted anymore. He made it very clear the he didn't want to hear about anything like this happening again."
I shook my head remembering the smudge marks on the paper that were left 의해 the tears that I had cried.
"I tried to keep what I saw to myself. I knew that if I just kept quiet that we could continue the happy family that we were before I shared my visions.
About a 월 later we were all out as a family, my father and sister were flying a 연 when I had the most disturbing vision to that point. I saw mother walking 집 and a man taking her and doing terrible things to her." I barely whispered.
"Alice, 당신 don't have to talk if 당신 don't want to, this has to be so hard on you." Edward said in a concerned tone.
"No, I need to continue. It helps to tell someone what I think I must have been feeling. I know Jasper would like to discuss all this, but I just can't hurt him with my past. He heard the entries, but not what I think about them. I'm sorry to burdon 당신 with this." I said as I looked up at him.
"Anything for 당신 Alice, 당신 know I won't tell anyone. I'm always there to listen if 당신 need me." He said as he hugged my shoulders.
"I wasn't going to say anything but the journal said that everytime I closed my eyes I saw the vision again. I couldn't keep that to myself, I was so afraid.
My father came over mocking me, asking stupid things like if I saw 꽃 growing in the wrong place, 또는 a storm. How could he mock me Edward? He was my father!" I said, wishing that I could cry. My heart, well where it would be felt like it was breaking.
How could someone who brought me into this world not 사랑 me no matter what? I didn't understand that.
"That's where I had to stop, I just don't understand how my own family could fear, well not fear but judge me. That is what hurt the most, I think maybe that's why I saw Carlisle and everyone. I knew that 당신 wouldn't judge us, no matter how strange Jazz and I looked when we showed up." I smiled up at Edward.
He sat there thinking about everything that I just told him, processing it all. I knew that all of them would support me, and 사랑 me no matter what. I just couldn't understand why my family cound't.
I sat there for a few 분 enjoying the silence. Knowing that no matter what happened at this point that Edward and the rest of my family would accept me for who I was.
I stood up deciding that I needed to tell our family what the journal had said, and also that I was curious and wanted to know what happened to me next.
We sat there in silence for a few 분 when I suddenly stood up and smiled at my brother.
"I guess it's time to head back, I need to explain what I learned to everyone else, and I really want to read more." I admitted
He nodded and stood 다음 to me wrapping one arm around my shoulders.
"Anytime 당신 want to get it off your chest just let me know and we can go out to eat." He smiled as he said the last line.
I put my head on his arm and nodded up at him.
"Thank 당신 for everything Edward, 당신 know I mean that with all I am." I thought as we began walking to the edge of the woods.