Warning: this is NOT a Stefan/Stelena friendly 기사 and I know that I might get a lot of hate for stating my opinion.
So far in season 4, these are the ones that have helped Elena with her transition.
Damon: first of all 의해 being honest. Instead of tiptoeing around the inevitable outcome, he simply stated the fact that she had no choice but to feed 또는 die. And in Memorial he convinced her to drink from the vein.
Matt: 의해 letting her drink his blood, ultimately saving her.
Caroline: 의해 simply standing 의해 her side when she almost attacked April.
The only one who doesn't seem to have helped Elena thus far is Stefan. He thinks he's helping her, but he's only getting her killed. All over again. Seriously, how many times is he going to let her die?
He let Klaus sacrifice her, because 'I'm going to put my faith in her' (something like that)
He saved Matt and she died, because respect is so much 더 많이 important than love.
She almost died in Growing Pains and was sick in Memorial, because Stefan was too much in denial.
I thought Stefan was supposed to be the 안전한, 안전 choice.