First shot of making a fanfiction for 'Your Lie in April'/'Shigatsu wa Kimi no Uso'! I didn't know how to start 또는 even end it, but I think I did alright, I suppose...
This fanfiction takes place in episode 17 (at the start to be exact), but I changed it up a bit. So I hope 당신 enjoy! Leave your 코멘트 또는 review a bit of your thoughts, 또는 just how much 당신 enjoyed/disliked it :)
“Want to kill yourself with me?”
Those six words cut through my train of thought, slicing through the 이미지 of my memories that I kept locked away in the back of my mind. I take a good look at her, wondering, seeking in her eyes, just to see how much insanity caged her to say such a thing. But I didn’t catch any glimpse of mistake in her orbs. Just the deadly grimace stuck not only in the way she looked at me, but how she stared gave away nothing else but that. Why? I could feel my 심장 tense as reality sunk into my shoulders, and the sweat beads form, slipping into my eyelids, blurring my vision. “Why?” I heard a voice, strained and unrecognizable, but it was me.
“Why are 당신 asking me this … Kaori?” My hands tightened around my bag straps, my knuckles growing white as I let my gaze avert to the window in front of me, to my feet – anywhere but glaring at her would suffice the affliction I carried in my heart. “C’mon,” she chuckled, causing my chest to throb. “I was only kidding!” That tone. She was taking everything lightly? I released a strap and held a balled fist to where my 심장 was. Couldn't she see how pained I must look, how much in shock I was, to hear such a request?
I heard her pause, probably realizing how ridiculous she must’ve sounded to her own ears. “But … honestly Kou–”
“Just, shut up Kaori!” I exclaim in a voice filled of betrayal to the once collected tone I’ve kept. Being soft, taking everything as it came to bottle itself in me as I’ve always done in the past, 또는 attempting to create an atmosphere where both she and I could be sure that everything was going to be alright in the end. I couldn’t take it anymore.
I stomped with little coolness in the steps to her 침대 and lunged at her, attaining the white cloth of her hospital dress, yanking her to me with much mercilessness. “Don’t be such an absurd hypocrite.” I seethed through my teeth. Her eyes widened at the sudden reaction she never expected to receive from the likes of me. “How can 당신 say such words so nonchalantly? Why are 당신 telling me this? Do 당신 think I oh, so 사랑 the idea of 당신 dying, right here, in front of me?” I begin spitting, words falling in explosions. My voice increased with every word I spoke, the extent of anxiety growing too much for my 심장 to bear.
I knew I was hurting her with every word I raged, but I had to tell her, get through to her, otherwise what would be the point of me coming? I wasn’t here to hear her sulking about everything she’d done wrong mostly with me, for having me worried for her and see her all the time. I was furious at her because she made me feel as if she had the slightest idea 또는 thought of the main reason for my presence to be near. “I came here to see 당신 의해 choice. I did not ask for your permission 또는 Watari’s to come see 당신 – the hell … with permissions and being asked as a favor not to see you,” I lean my forehead against hers, feeling the beads of sweat trace against her skin. I whisper, “Get better … get well … Kaori,” I remove my hands from her dress, seeing how hard I held her in place. I push her gently back into the softness, resting my ear against her heart.
“Kousei …” she was trembling, probably from how I countered.
Idiot. I thought, a few tears escaping.
Arms wrapped around my back, unexpectedly, and a soft sigh exhaled in the silence. “It’s not anyone’s fault that I’m here, like this … all the time,” she mumbled, brushing a hand into my hair and tucking strands behind my ears. I sigh, embracing her a little longer. “I’m sorry, Kousei,” a faint sweep of her fingers wisp through my hair like wheat in a cornfield. Drops of tears slipped on Kaori’s dress, and I sniffled, trying to hold the strength of my tears.
I couldn’t cry. Not like this. It would feel like everything from before, with my mom, was again happening, to her. And I cannot accept that fate.
“... I 사랑 you,”
Those words. What? My eyes widened, as realization dawned on me, the sensitivity sinking into my 심장 that clenched. Those three words … they were from me. Why did I say …? I pulled from her slowly, and glanced away with lips pinched. There was no denying that she didn’t return the same feelings I cherished. It was impossible. I mean, to have a capricious, yet tempestuous woman I’ve come to know in just a few short weeks, to express such affection … that felt too engrossed, too dense of an impact to get through to her now. Especially with her current unstable condition. Right?
I exhale a small breath, and turn towards her, suddenly stunned. I grasped the edge of edge of the bed, my lips trembling on their own. “K-Kousei …” she had her face buried in her hands, but I could faintly see her bite her lip and notice the tears streaming softly through her fingers. I prop my legs carefully beside her frame, snaking an arm securely around her shoulders to shelter her with my arms. She gasped, slightly muffled in my chest. “Why are 당신 apologizing for?” I mutter, whispering with empathy in my voice. “You’ve done nothing wrong.” I lean into her hair, a small smile forming in the corners of my lips. I just wanted to get through that thick skull of hers. I chuckle a little.
“Y-You …” she gulped, shaking her head a little. Her fingers clutched onto my shirt, as she tried to gather the words to say. “You– y-your confession …” she inhaled a little. I slightly pushed her from me, catching sight of the genuine smile plastered on her. “Kaori,” I reach a hand to tenderly place my fingers against her cheek, “I 사랑 you, Friend A,” she said, eyes scrutinized with a glistening glow, like the stars we witnessed on the night riding home.
“Oh,” she chuckled, under her breath. “I mean, Kousei,” the way she spoke my name – it left a wavering chime in my mind, echoing with a sweetened serenity. I lean towards her, eyes drifting to her lips as my hand caressed her face. “I 사랑 you, Kousei,” she repeated in a soft whisper, 초 before her lips came intact with my own. Lemons. She … tasted of lemons …
What did she take today? I wondered, my fingers falling from her face and wrapping around her middle, touching the small of her back with a slight nervous tender.
I pull away, inches from her face, just to see the kind of reaction to the bold 옮기기 I’d just made on her. She giggles, smiling, as I hoped she would and then runs her fingers lightly on my face. I stare at her, smoldering my eyes into her fiercely beautiful cyan orbs. I searched across her features, retaining the way her face exposed so much velocity in terms of her moods over the past time we’d spent, and how many countless, tortuous times she’d always force me up on my feet from a fail.
After tonight, with our last moment of being together under the moonlight – the only thing I’ll have left from this beloved I’ve embraced and hold would be the memories of us.
Whatever happens, Kaori, I sniffle, touching the back of her head to bring her close to my chest. Please know … that I will never click the ‘reset’ button, like 당신 asked me to. I plant a 키스 in her locks, taking a whiff of the 딸기 scent lingering in the strands.
You will always be with me.