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f you'rIe too open-minded, your brains will fall out. Don't worry about what people think, they don't do it very often. Going to church doesn't make 당신 a Christian, any 더 많이 than standing in a 차고 makes 당신 a car.
It ain't the jeans that make your butt look fat. Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance. Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious. It is easier to get forgiveness than permission. For every action, there is an equal and opposite government program. If 당신 look like your passport...

•    A sharp tongue does not mean 당신 have a keen mind.
•    Anyone who told 당신 to be yourself couldn't have given 당신 any worse advice.
•    Are 당신 always this stupid 또는 are 당신 making a special effort today.
•    Do 당신 want me to accept 당신 as 당신 are, 또는 do 당신 want me to lie to myself and try to like you?
•    Don't let your mind wander; it's far too small to be let out on its own.
•    Don't thank me for insulting you; it was a pleasure.
•    Don't...

And your crybaby whinny opinion would be...?

This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting.

I started out with nothing & still have most of it left.

I pretend to work. They pretend to pay me.

Sarcasm is just one 더 많이 service we offer.

If I throw a stick, will 당신 leave?

If I want to hear the pitter patter of little feet, I'll put shoes on my cats.

Does your train of thought have a caboose?

Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.

A PBS mind in an 엠티비 world.

Whatever kind of look 당신 were going for, 당신 missed.

Suburbia: where they tear out the trees & then name streets after them....