Riku114 Wall

Displaying wall entries 41-50 of 4838

Riku114 said …
A lot of me working on Impulse Control and managing compulsions is going "Do we actualky need to do this as much as we physically feel we do? No? Then dont do it. 'Just this last time' is never true and 당신 know it so start now. Go do something else and learn to sit with the discomfort. 게시됨 over a year ago
Riku114 commented…
Revolving looking up Danganronpa stuff and plucking, Ive actually managed to redirect and prevent myself from breaking to it and its actually been a pretty successful process to go through. Its had a like 100% success rate on a smalk impulse thing like Danganronpa but Im trying to apply it to Trich a bit 더 많이 to see. The time I did it with Trich I dodnt pluck for like... five 분 over a year ago
Riku114 commented…
It personally might work and I might test it with some of my other compulsions over a year ago
Riku114 commented…
Its also considered a type of Exposure Therapy I suppose? over a year ago
Riku114 said …
Story time

My boyfriend was being stupid and making stupid (yet hilarious) jokes while I was eating grapes and I just looked down at him cos he was in my lap and started trying to shove grapes in his mouth against his will to shut him and his bad (still hilarious) jokes up and all XD and he was like "NOOOO NOOOO NOOOO RAPEEEEE"

And I was like "NO ITS GRAPE" all seriously

Then there was a moment of silence before he lightly hit my head cos it was a stupid pun XD XD XD 게시됨 over a year ago
TheLefteris24 commented…
Seems like a pretty good one to me XD !!!! over a year ago
Riku114 said …
Also pretty sure 구름, 클라우드 will survive cos 2 hours later hes back to living life like normal and tweeting at me when I checked up on him in the middle of the night XD 게시됨 over a year ago
TheLefteris24 commented…
That is certainly great to know !!!! over a year ago
Riku114 said …
검색 up the danganronpa characters in v3 당신 wanna see 이미지

Me: No I dont wanna risk spoilers

do it 또는 else I will...

Chest: *tenses up*

Me: *sweating profusely* Well I mean... since 당신 are trying to use physical things to force my impulses.... I guess I have to tell 당신 to FUCK OFF. I am working on my impulse control. 게시됨 over a year ago
Riku114 commented…
But yeah Im getting better at it. Ive been able to resist to the urge to look up V3 characters for the most part XD over a year ago
Riku114 commented…
Not even for the most part over a year ago
Riku114 commented…
I think entirely actually over a year ago
TheLefteris24 commented…
That makes me proud !!!! over a year ago
Riku114 said …
당신 know I actually thought my mom was being a bit of a lazy bad owner when she said she would probably just flour it, but now that I'm thinking of it, she probably genuinely doesnt get the procedure to it.

Cause when I was doing it I have her hold him down so I can focus on pulling the feather, but she asked me how to hold him and restrain him and I was like "On his back, then stretch the wing out and hold it there with your fingers 또는 other hand" 게시됨 over a year ago
Riku114 commented…
Cos I thought it was common knowledge and/or instinctual for someone who had birds as long as her, but I think the procedure, as simple as I find it to be, probably seems a lot 더 많이 complicated to someone who doesnt pretty much help out at the Wild Animal equivalent to the ER. over a year ago
Riku114 said …
Lucy: *singing after I cover them up*

Me: *checks on them* Ugh go to sleep. 당신 have an elderly wounded bird there.

Lucy: Oh hi mom

Cloud: *looks over at me as if nothing just happened* Oh hi Riku

Me: >.> Well 당신 suddenly look all fine. 게시됨 over a year ago
Riku114 said …
Just saved Cloud's life for the 초 time this month. This time it was REALLY bad though. He either fell off his branch when sleeping 또는 got scared and jumped but he broke three blood feathers in his wings - two of which were primary feathers - and 로스트 two flight feathers without breakign them

The bottom of the cage, had blood everywhere and when I took him out I got blood all across my forearm and hand 게시됨 over a year ago
Riku114 commented…
Hes lucky (and I am too) that he has a future bird vet as an owner cos I respond really quickly and am good at handling it. over a year ago
Riku114 commented…
My mom even admitted if it was her she would have just floured the wing and hoped for the best over the night over a year ago
Riku114 commented…
Ill update 당신 all tomorrow if I remember if he survived. He seems happy and relaxed now so I think I got all of it and it stopped bleeding over a year ago
Riku114 said …
Man... Imma miss my boyfriend when I go off to college. Without him who will make the stupid unnecessary over done jokes and being 사무용 겉옷, 전반적인 a cute stupid jackass? Who will take the jokes I set up and make the stupid joke I was intending to be said? WHO WILL BE MY PARTNER IN CRIME FOR MAKING THE WORLD CRINGE AT JOKES THAT ARE SO BAD THEY ARE GREAT?!?!?! 게시됨 over a year ago
Riku114 commented…
Btw when it comes to him "Jackass" is a compliment and kinda akin to "smartass" XD over a year ago
Riku114 commented…
But seriously Imma set up so many jokes irl out of habit and no one is going to take them and Ill be sitting there sad. Like we never planned it 또는 organized it but we run this duo of me pretty much making a lot of set up jokes for stupid commentary 또는 puns 또는 whatever XD over a year ago
Riku114 said …
Honestly this is all so silly. When 당신 think about it. Kinda childish at it too.

I should stop playing around and just fully leave it behind. Its a waste of my time and energy. 게시됨 over a year ago
Riku114 commented…
*When 당신 think about it, kinda over a year ago
Riku114 commented…
Good riddance over a year ago
Riku114 said …
Honestly, if I wasn't so aware its not what I want and its temporary, my parents would literally make me want to kill myself. The way they act just get me into a "I just hate it all. Fuck it its not worth trying." moodset and if I didnt have a natural flowing "Its only temporary and youll be out of the house soon and able to live your life", Id get into major depressive modes and probably borderline suicidal so often because of them 게시됨 over a year ago
Riku114 said …
Oh yeah huh, I just remembered I was literally triggered 의해 a really small happy thing at my boyfriends house earlier today and pretty much distracted myself out of it so I wouldnt fall into a panic attack 또는 anything XD

Seriously tho. I dont think I can say I dont have PTSD at least to a degree no matter how much my brain wants to tell me I dont XD I literally got triggered 의해 my boyfriend's dad hugging and being affectionate to the toddler theyve been nanny-ing for two years 게시됨 over a year ago
Riku114 commented…
Like at first such a small thing was like "wait what the fuck" and then from there it just hit like a train and was not fun but Im like... the best at dissociation and distracting myself and kinda brought myself back as I hurridly forced myself to NOT think about it no matter what anytime it started coming into my head over a year ago
Riku114 commented…
Like yikes I barely remember it but yikes over a year ago
Riku114 said …
HA IM NOT A FRESHMEAT IN COLLEGE TECHNICALLY. MY AP SCORES HAVE ME LISTED AS A SOPHOMORE FITE ME 게시됨 over a year ago
TheLefteris24 commented…
Mmm... Fresh blood !!!! over a year ago
Riku114 said …
Me: If she really manages to do get us as roommates, I am going to get her flowers, no question.

Roommate: SAME. If she manages to help us out of the 500 other students trying to get help, we have to do something

Me: I mean... do 당신 think... we could get the band??? I mean its my always go to as a bando, but we are freshmen and lack connections so would we able to pull that off so early?

Us: Screw it. We will do it. 게시됨 over a year ago
Riku114 said …
Update: Still struggling to understand psychosis to the level I wish to. 게시됨 over a year ago
Riku114 said …
I honestly 사랑 my roommate tbh 게시됨 over a year ago
Riku114 commented…
I mean the one that will be my roommate - not my current ones XD over a year ago
Riku114 said …
Me: I need to get back to learning / figuring out 3D Modeling at some point

Boyfriend: 당신 do realize 당신 dont need to have EVERY skill and EVERY hobby in existence right? 게시됨 over a year ago
TheLefteris24 commented…
It is kinda funny when you're making that post with that specific 아이콘 !!!! over a year ago
Riku114 commented…
^ .... okay that is true XD over a year ago
Riku114 said …
I give like at least 50% of credit / blame to my extreme burst in drive to Kevin Laue.

Cos seriously I wasnt so gunho about it until he spoke at my school on a 일 I was really kinda depressed and his speech brought forth my first firm goal and plan for the ideology of "Passing the Torch" that I have still to today

And just like the goal and planning and actively reaching for that was so satisfactory that I just branched it out into so many other things 게시됨 over a year ago
Riku114 commented…
I need to watch his documentary at some point. over a year ago
Riku114 commented…
Within all my memory issues and everything, I will have him have a permanent name in my book of my life. He lit my torch as Im sure he has many others. Hes a truely remarkable man. over a year ago
Riku114 said …
Honestly part of the reason Im as driven as I am is I strongly appreciate action over words. 당신 can SAY 당신 will graduate. 당신 can SAY 당신 will eat better. 당신 can SAY 당신 wont be a dick. 당신 can SAY 당신 will eat only one 더 많이 chip. 당신 can SAY 당신 will listen and help. 당신 can SAY 당신 wont force someone to do something.

Its a whole other thing about actually doing it. I respect people who actually do rather than just talking 또는 just planning. 게시됨 over a year ago
Riku114 commented…
That plus 당신 really never get anywhere if 당신 just talk and make promises to others and yourself if 당신 arent willing to actually take active action to follow through over a year ago
Riku114 commented…
Oh and birds duh over a year ago
Riku114 commented…
Personally I wont say my drive is necessarily 100% good and I wont say I am not sometimes scared of how extreme it can be, but Im also not gonna say I dont think its good for me. over a year ago
Riku114 said …
Pretty much Munakata is honestly a pretty good representation of me put under a lot of responsibility and pressure, put in a dire action-calling situation, with an ego put on 상단, 맨 위로 of it.

I think the main issue thats in his hands is he believes hes is the ONE and ONLY Hope.

But nah Munakata is almost creepily like me. 게시됨 over a year ago
Riku114 said …
Me: *making predictions on Danganronpa V3 characters* "Well she has the ahegao that all the main protagonists hav- .... backtrack. I am pretty sure ahegao is not the antennae but that hentai mind break thing. That would be an extremely different thing and image. One second"

Me: "Ah Ahoge. That sounds right." 게시됨 over a year ago
Riku114 said …
Also RIP Jet Black's account 게시됨 over a year ago
TheLefteris24 commented…
Oh boiii... We'll be seeing him in a new Account a few days from now at least, I guess !!!! over a year ago
BlindBandit92 commented…
Not surprised. Dude can't figure out which 아이디 he wants LOL over a year ago
JetBlack__ commented…
^ I need to stop XD over a year ago
Riku114 said …
Me: 저기요 can I get some help, I was put in a triple with people that give me extreme anxiety cos of my GAD and PTSD and I could use some 조언 how to get out

이메일 I get in Response: Triple dorms arent bad! Heres why they arent bad!

Me: .... thanks.... i guess...? 게시됨 over a year ago
Riku114 said …
I swear my stress level will be at a constant like... two notches higher than it usually is until I get verified that I am at least in a better room placement 또는 even better if Im in a room with my roommate.

Like its not horrible but Imma be constantly having that bugging me in the back of my head.

If I didnt get better at handling my anxiety it would be killing me, but since Im better at it, its not THAT bad. 게시됨 over a year ago
Riku114 commented…
I literally wish I could put "Literally just give me and my roommate a kinda nice cardboard box and we will both be happy" over a year ago
Riku114 commented…
link over a year ago
Riku114 commented…
THAT COULD BE US DAVIS BUT 당신 ARE IN THE WAY over a year ago
Riku114 said …
"Welp [redacted] is gonna die. Shes been too supportive and too likable."

*[redacted] isnt killed*

"Welp i didnt call it I gue-"

*[redacted] died another way*

"RING RING MOTHERFUCKER. I CALLED IT" 게시됨 over a year ago
TheLefteris24 commented…
The Death Flag had been raised. Its vibes were too strong !!!! over a year ago
Riku114 said …
Me: Yo Lefteris what episode are we on? 7 또는 8?

Lefteris: About to see 8. .... WAIT 9 DAMN IT RIKU

Me: :v shhh my memory is crap. 게시됨 over a year ago
Riku114 commented…
wait shit I forgot to put Lefteris' exclamation marks. Its not accurate :V over a year ago
Riku114 commented…
Wait if we were gonna see 8 why didnt we bring ducks- //shot// over a year ago
TheLefteris24 commented…
Lmao. ^ We are going to bring the ducks once they get through the Games !!!! over a year ago
Riku114 said …
당신 know, earlier I was at Walmart getting like... college stuff and there was this health machine thing to see your age in health and I always take those just mostly out of tradition and all XD

And for the first time in a long time the 질문 like "How often this 월 have 당신 been depressed" 또는 "felt like things were going horribly wrong" 또는 "felt 당신 couldnt keep up / manage your stress" and stuff like that to which I was able to say "rarely" 또는 "none at all" 게시됨 over a year ago
Riku114 commented…
Well I doubt none at all cos Im a mental health mess and I do tend to have it at least a bit and all, but like man... over a year ago
Riku114 commented…
Ever since I started being most dedicated to myself and my health above all else - academics, achievement, and other people - my life has been wonderful. Never thought it was possible before to be completely honest over a year ago
TheLefteris24 commented…
That's certainly good to know. The progress 당신 have made and will continue to do so is always great to see !!!! over a year ago
Riku114 said …
[its so weird my dad keeps complimenting me over my skill with money and future planning]

[im not used to compliments from him]
게시됨 over a year ago
Riku114 said …
WHY DO I LIKE LOOKING FOR JOBS FOR MY BOYFRIEND

WHY DO I LIKE MANAGING AND PLANNING FINANCES

WHY DO I LIKE DOING ADULT-Y STUFF

ITS NOT NATURAL 게시됨 over a year ago
Riku114 said …
My boyfriend 코멘트 a lot on how Im honestly a bit of a schmoozer. And like... Im not entirely denying it. I 사랑 getting along with the people in charge, but its just because I like to be involved in leadership stuff if Im not the leader and because people who lead tend to be the type of people I get along with the best.

Its not like I am doing it for the benefits alone, its just the natural way I am. 게시됨 over a year ago
Riku114 commented…
If Im not the leader 또는 admin, I like to be the moderator 또는 help them like a moderator. Helps keep things in order since I know its hard even for them, and it helps them understand and work with me if they know me over a year ago
Riku114 commented…
Thus why I tend to be similar to the 'teachers pet' and 'favorite regular' at places. over a year ago
Riku114 commented…
I was honestly a sociopath 또는 something a few years ago. So glad I woke myself up from that over a year ago
Riku114 said …
Debating what game to play now that I finished Pandora...

I really wanna start Zero Escape: Zero Time Dilemma, but Imma start Danganronpa V3 in probably like... a 월 또는 less and I dont think I should tire myself of that Genre

Hakuoki is too long to start with Danganronpa coming up and Psycho Pass I need to watch the 아니메 first. 게시됨 over a year ago
Riku114 commented…
So then I have Root Double, Her Smile Beyond the Twilight, Mayajasmine, Eden, and Blood Code. Could always go back and do 더 많이 of Sickness 또는 give Men of Yoshiwara another torturous go 또는 do 더 많이 of Pastry 연인들 but.... eh over a year ago
Riku114 commented…
I think Ill go with Her Smile Beyond the Twilight over a year ago
TheLefteris24 commented…
Since 당신 loved Danganronpa, I'm pretty sure 당신 are really going to like Zero Escape as well. They share quite a few similarities between them. Totally recommend it !!!! over a year ago
Riku114 said …
And so we begin my transition into college where college will be my main focus and integrating and adjusting will be the main focus until the end of the first quarter around like... December 또는 whatever XD

Gotta get all I need for college together
Gotta get my roommate stuff settled out
Gotta go to band camp
Gotta adjust my relationship for long distance
Gotta get used to the campus and classes
Gotta make good friends
Gotta figure out communal bathroom life
etc etc 게시됨 over a year ago
Riku114 said …
Fuck it XD Since my brain is up for an anxiety attack cos of this, Imma just drop the conversation and head straight to the people in charge of student housing with the issue.

Rather than waiting 또는 sitting on it and contemplating, Imma just get information right from the source. 게시됨 over a year ago
Riku114 said …
Riku's all fun, nice, charismatic, and someone people like to be around, but that is only until something that is perceived as a threat enters the situation. Then its cold, questioning, sometime crude and harsh, and 사무용 겉옷, 전반적인 distant and distrustful until said perceived threat is either gone 또는 satiated.

Then its also a matter of if my logical side says "Yes, it is a threat" "Not sure if it is 또는 isnt" 또는 "Stfu 당신 are stupid. Its not a threat" 게시됨 over a year ago
Riku114 commented…
Those three determine how much of a filter is on the cold swap and how hard I stick to / try to get out of my defensive mode XD over a year ago
Riku114 commented…
.... is my brain literally considering going on an anxiety attack over this??? Stfu brain XD over a year ago
Riku114 commented…
It wants to hide behind "comfortable roommate" XD over a year ago
Riku114 said …
Me: Ugh thats an annoying way. Ah well, lets work with it. And be nice in case we do end up with the-

Brain: ITS A THREAT. ITS AN ATTACK. HISS. HISS. DEFENSIVE. DONT TRUST. DONT TRUST. DEFENSE DEFENSE

Me: ...

Me: .... Lets be nice and be charismati-

Brain: THREAT. DONT TALK. IGNORE. AVOID. DEFENSIVE. DEFENSIVE. DONT LIKE. DONT LIKE.

Me: Its okay not to like it but we still need a good first impression. Also its not an actual threa-

Brain: THREEEEAAAAATTTT

Me: ... >.> okay 게시됨 over a year ago
Riku114 said …
Literally though XD I hate how they approached me so much XD It puts me in such a corner and I dont like feeling like Im in a corner. 게시됨 over a year ago
Riku114 commented…
Im in such a defensive mode right now over a year ago
Riku114 commented…
My brain with its trust issues, extreme vulnerability issues, and shit is irrationally 읽기 it as a personal attack and threat XD Its so stupid XD over a year ago
Riku114 said …
AH FUCK MAN.

Im fine with it when its on here and all but unexpected, unsolicited approaches to me related to things and people I have to deal with irl spook the fuck out of me and put me on guard so damn quickly

I like to watch, analyze, and select for at least a few 분 before interacting

Strangers suddenly trying to be my friend without me having anything to look after before hand and even 더 많이 so when I wasnt expecting it is just ugh. 게시됨 over a year ago
Riku114 commented…
I got put into a Triple dorm apparently with two people I dont know and they approached me before I even knew assignments were out using my personal phone number >.> over a year ago
Riku114 commented…
Requests to switch are apparently common and apparently decently handled most of the time but yikes. 0/10 poor way to start an interaction with me :v Two people I dont know ganging up on me and tlaking like they already know each other :v over a year ago
Riku114 commented…
ESPECIALLY if Im not the one that brought it together over a year ago
Riku114 said …
Me: Man Im tired. Long drive and too tired to explain stuff

Also Me: Imma research jobs for the 다음 two hours to make my boyfriend's life easier.

Also Me After That: Now to start planning my college finances

Me: This is fun and relaxing. *not sarcastic* 게시됨 over a year ago
Riku114 said …
Also dude, I got my oldest sister to agree to buy me a $32 Cockatiel 마구, 하네스 so Lucy will be slowly trained to be a bird I can go on walks from. Its a bit of a stretch tho since I know hes a hardcore agoraphobic rn XD

If I cant get him comfortable with going out on my shoulder 의해 the time CMHS' band camp starts, then Ill jsut bring Smokey to my old children since she used to go out with me WITHOUT a 마구, 하네스 and didnt fly off 게시됨 over a year ago
Riku114 commented…
Good old times with Smokey when she was younger and less flock-orientated and 더 많이 of a companion bird XD over a year ago
Riku114 commented…
She had 더 많이 energy and could handle going out better cos she was younger and I didnt have to worry much at all of her flying away XD over a year ago
Riku114 said …
IM 집 HALLELUJAH.

The trip was A LOT of fun. Something of the most fun and relaxing vacations Ive had in a while, and thats coming from me, someone who tends to hate and, 더 많이 accurately put, fear vacations XD

Plus I got Pandora Hearts completed since I downloaded it before hand and wow that was a great ending XD Made my mood even better for that night that I slept

Plus spending four nights and three full days (five partial) with my boyfriend and his family is always awesome 게시됨 over a year ago
TheLefteris24 commented…
Welcome back, Riku. Glad to know about your progress and that 당신 had a good time !!!! over a year ago
GDragon612 commented…
annyeong Riku, thats good to know that 당신 are doing great!!! And I am happy 당신 had alot of fun and sleep over a year ago
GDragon612 commented…
and 당신 enjoyed ya trip with fam and playing hehe<3 over a year ago
Riku114 said …
This drive back is literally the worst :v Its normally a 6-8 시간 drive and I think its now nearly a 12 시간 one due to traffic 게시됨 over a year ago
Riku114 said …
Rikus on her way back 집 bb 게시됨 over a year ago
TheLefteris24 commented…
Have a 안전한, 안전 return, Riku. Hope 당신 enjoyed yourself to the fullest !!!! over a year ago
2ntyoneplts said …
Hi its been a while. Im just here to quickly say a big thanks for everything youve done. Carry on. So this is goodbye from me dude. Im leaving. So ya take care. Stay Alive <3 ||-// 게시됨 over a year ago
Riku114 commented…
Youre welcome <3 Im glad I could help. Feel free to come 의해 whenever. This club, my inbox, and the Mental Health 포럼 is always there with open arms for 당신 over a year ago
Riku114 said …
Off camping for a while. Prolly wont be on mich for the 다음 few days 게시됨 over a year ago
TheLefteris24 commented…
Have fun, Riku. Get the most out of it !!!! over a year ago
JetBlack_ commented…
Have fun :D be 안전한, 안전 🏕 over a year ago
Riku114 commented…
Thanks XD 사랑 yall over a year ago
Riku114 said …
I relate to Nagito drooling over Izuru Kamukura there. Like wowza.

I think Nagito and Munakata summarize my personality pretty well. Then 당신 could put either Toko 또는 Izuru in to add extra touches. 또는 both. 게시됨 over a year ago
TheLefteris24 commented…
Same for me with the last two although a little bit 더 많이 than extra touches. Anyway, both it is. They synchronize pretty well XD !!!! over a year ago
Riku114 said …
[forgot she had like four hours of on and off panic attacks today until Zeppie asked her about it cos she saw the post]

"The Glory of My Memory" XD 게시됨 over a year ago
Riku114 said …
But yeah, I felt like I can talk about my boyfriend a tad bit 더 많이 since some of 당신 have been curious about it a bit and Ive been rather restrained on the topic until lately.

Itll die down a bit once this whole "Opening the door about the relationship to the public" phase fades through, but until then, the door to know about my relationship 더 많이 is open XD 게시됨 over a year ago
Riku114 commented…
Cos hes a big part of my life and theres a lot to say about him after being together for nearly a year. over a year ago
Riku114 commented…
Just a like... two months off. October 20th is the anniversary, which I only remember because the half years is 420 and I'm a child like that. over a year ago
Riku114 commented…
Its kinda creepy but mostly awesome. over a year ago
Riku114 said …
Panic Attacks ; All 일 게시됨 over a year ago
Riku114 commented…
Shoutout to Lucy and my boyfriend for most of the 일 support over a year ago
JetBlack_ said …
Guys
since I'm really bored right now I'll post some questions__ Enjoy ^^ 게시됨 over a year ago
Riku114 commented…
Yass over a year ago
TheLefteris24 commented…
Much appreciated, Comrade. Your 질문 are always a treat XD !!!! over a year ago
JetBlack_ commented…
Np :D over a year ago
Riku114 said …
I am so sleeping in tomorrow

...

inb4 I wake up an 시간 earlier than usual naturally 게시됨 over a year ago
Riku114 said …
To a degree, pain, suffering, depression, and struggle is pleasant. Its a comfortable usual. Its the normal. Its an actual emotion.

When compared to the nothingness I used to have, 또는 the struggle and even greater pain and all that comes with trying to get better, in a way, pain and suffering are the 더 많이 pleasant and enjoyable of the two.

In that way, I very much can understand not wanting to get better and personally am not the type to say those that dont want to recover are fake 게시됨 over a year ago
Riku114 commented…
((Even though I might slip it through my mouth in the rage of the people that think mental health is a cool trend and self diagnose unrealistically and make jokes of mental health issues)) over a year ago
Riku114 commented…
Despair, in a way, is comfortable. over a year ago
Riku114 commented…
But thats just a tangent off of the 이전 post XD Its not directly related but like.. a tangent of a thought that came up when I was thinking of the last post XD So like a tangent of a tangent over a year ago
Riku114 said …
Also STRONGLY related to Izuru Kamakura at a point in my life. Not AS much anymore cause Ive recovered from shit a good deal and found a lot of great things but like... I totally get it man XD 게시됨 over a year ago
Riku114 said …
Shocking to say, I dont ENTIRELY hate older Monaca 또는 at least... Post Nagito Monaca. I still have major gripes with her in DRAE but her character seems a little LESS 24/7 extremely ear grating and like she was created to piss me off.

Thank 당신 Nagito for fixing her up a little bit. I can always rely on you. 게시됨 over a year ago
Riku114 said …
Ah honestly, itll be such a relief when September comes around and I can go off to Davis. A lot of my toxic environments vanish pretty well 또는 minimize greatly and Ill actually be able to be me fully in my life. 게시됨 over a year ago
Riku114 said …
AHH. I DID PROGRESSSS

IM SO HAPPY IM NOT KIDDING YOU. I KEPT IT OFF THE CLUB BECAUSE I SOUND SO JADED AND SHIT AT TIME BUT MAN WAS I REALLY LOOSING FAITH BEFORE THIS.

LIKE I WAS FULLY UNDERSTANDING THAT IT WOULDNT GO AWAY UNTIL I 로스트 ALL THINGS HOLDING ME BACK AND ALL TRAUMA WAS PROCESSED BEFORE I EVEN GOT SOMETHING LIKE THIS

AND ITS BACK

I FORGOT THAT TRICH USED TO BE A HUGE DEAL FOR ME 게시됨 over a year ago
Riku114 commented…
COS I SHUT OUT HOW BADLY IT FELT TO FAIL AND REALIZED I COULDNT HELP IT AND ACCEPTED IT FOR MY OWN SANITY over a year ago
TheLefteris24 commented…
This is certainly worthy of sharing, Riku. One's improvement is never a small matter. 당신 still hold room for so much more. Be glad for every step 당신 take along that path. Once again, I'm really happy for 당신 !!!! over a year ago
BlindBandit92 commented…
^ over a year ago
Riku114 said …
GUYS IM LIKE MAKING PROGRESS ON MY TRICHOTILLOMANIA FOR THE FIRST TIME IN AGES I THINK 게시됨 over a year ago
Riku114 commented…
INSTEAD OF MAGICALLY FINDING MY HAND PLUCKING HAIR, I HAVE THREE TIMES TODAY FOUND MY HAND MAGICALLY PLAYING WITH MY STIM TOYS over a year ago
Riku114 commented…
I SAY THREE 분 COS IM SLEEPING SOON over a year ago
Riku114 commented…
IF I CAN STOP SCREAMING over a year ago
Riku114 said …
On other notes, super hyped for DCI finals tomorrow with my boyfriend XD

Ill finally be free to watch all of them XD Hopes for SCV winning 게시됨 over a year ago
Riku114 said …
Since the private message was rejected, I am highly uncomfortable and not okay with Wanta continue his level of participation in this club and I would really like if people on here would help me in getting that respected since he refuses.

If Im being honest, if I cant feel comfortable in my own club which is like my home, Ill likely leave 팬팝 all together since seeing someone I have bad blood so frequently within a place I call 집 is really not good for me. 게시됨 over a year ago
wantadog commented…
I literally refused nothing btw over a year ago
Riku114 said …
Just an update. I broke the friendship with Wanta off. If any yall really want any specifics I might say in PM but for the most part its mostly just an update that I feel yall would wanna know 게시됨 over a year ago
wantadog commented…
As my input on this. It had nothing to do with my earlier thing where I blanked my 프로필 and icon. That was an unrelated financial issue. In addition this was a mutual decision Riku and I both came to. over a year ago
Riku114 said …
TFW 당신 are managing three really important focus demanding conversations at once and after doing so for like... half an 시간 또는 more, 당신 literally start throwing out memories of what was going on in conversations.

I need to cool my brain for a bit XD It cant keep up 게시됨 over a year ago
Riku114 said …
I'm also wondering if I should post like... exactly 20 이미지 so my life time gold is 12,345 cos I like shit like that 게시됨 over a year ago
Riku114 said …
Question: Do 당신 bite your nails?

Me: *googling: Are humans supposed to have nails?* Its been so long I dont remember 게시됨 over a year ago
Riku114 said …
Also arching on the 이전 topic a bit, I genuinely think the world is beautiful. Its shitty and unfair, but despite it, its still a beautiful place with so many opportunities to go through.

Its part of why I am driven. I have a limited pass into being part of it, and I want to do as much as I can in the time I have. I want the knowledge it offers. I want the games it gives. I want the art it permits. I want the 사랑 it has to give. I want it all, and I cant get it, but I sure will try. 게시됨 over a year ago
Riku114 commented…
Those that follow my rambles on here a lot will probably remember when I would be like "Its odd, but its almost like a religion at this point that the world is beautiful. I can't see it, but I saw it once and have held onto the belief that its there for so long" and honestly... I think I got out of it. When I was depressed - like really really depressed and suicidal - that beauty was really hard to see. It was pretty much impossible and really hard to even imagine, but I do remember that one time I had among all the bad where I could see it, and stuck with it over a year ago
Riku114 commented…
Now Im here and Im so glad I made it here. The struggle is worth it. To undertake extreme pain, discomfort, and worsening suffering to help clear the dirty that darkened and hid the beauty of the world from me, its all worth it. over a year ago
Riku114 commented…
I still cant say I 100% feel the world is 안전한, 안전 and that the world is perfect, but for the latter, its natural and just reasonable and for the former, its a work in progress. over a year ago
TheLefteris24 commented…
Amen to that !!!! over a year ago
Riku114 said …
I honestly platonically 사랑 my roommate already XD Like... I think I will genuinely be able to have a strong genuine friendship with her, and it baffles me to actually have someone other than my boyfriend near me that actually likes me and that I will be able to hang out with.

I used to be a huge person for arguing that online 프렌즈 are just as real as irl 프렌즈 (and dont get me wrong, they are), but theres something so special and great about being able to actually be 다음 to them 게시됨 over a year ago
Riku114 commented…
To regularly hear them, be 의해 them, laugh with them, and in the end actually be able to have physical affection like hugs. Like... maybe its my affection depraved self, but just being able to hug someone and to trust them and all... Its like a level of experiencing in the friendship that is hard to get online unless maybe if 당신 are frequently voice chatting and probably video chatting. over a year ago
wantadog commented…
Eh over a year ago
TheLefteris24 commented…
I can understand those feelings. They are only natural. I'm really glad to see 당신 continue making progress and express yourself !!!! over a year ago
Riku114 said …
Be: *sprayed birds cos they liked it*

Me: *done* *sprays self twice*

Mom: Oh I can spray 당신 if 당신 go outside

Me: What? No! Stop treating me like a bird

Mom: *sprays me*

Me: 저기요 NO *subconsciously moving closer to make it easier*

Me: *sends up full on letting her spray me cos it feels nice*

Me: ... Im a literal bird 게시됨 over a year ago
Riku114 commented…
*Me not Be over a year ago
wantadog said …
Walmart: You’re not busy enough. We’re increasing how many orders 당신 get per day”

Me: Yaaaaaay.... 게시됨 over a year ago
Riku114 said …
Phew. After about 2 weeks of working on a hand made birthday present for my boyfriend, I am FINALLY entirely done. Probably banked in like... six 시간 into the smaller parts and like... an 시간 또는 two into crafting the entire thing, like an 시간 shopping for parts, about $15 into buying parts, and I super glued my fingers together so like...

I think that last one shows how much effort I put into it. Super glue is horrible XD

8-9 total like.. focused hours XD 게시됨 over a year ago
Riku114 said …
If I hear "You sound like youve been sexually abused" from my mom one 더 많이 time, may it be relatively innocent 또는 not, may she back out of it 또는 not, Imma go ballistic.

Im pretty sure this time was mostly cos shes been watching too much Law and Order SVU and I was genuinely in a really over excessive narrow visioned hatred making it remind her of scenes she saw on there and probably being a regular 코멘트 so I didnt let it get to me too much after telling her how much I hate that line. 게시됨 over a year ago
Riku114 commented…
But yeah she used to say it a lot ever since those dumb 나귀, 엉덩이 group therapists mentioned it after they saw me tear into them for forcing me to talk in front of my mom when they said they wouldnt force me if I wasnt comfortable over a year ago
wantadog said …
Has everyone not yet figured out that I've isolated and taken the facial characteristics of every Danganronpa character in case I ever wanted to put them on things like frankenstein? 게시됨 over a year ago
Riku114 commented…
.... 당신 have too much time on your hands over a year ago
TheLefteris24 commented…
That's certainl intriguing... over a year ago
wantadog said …
Putting Chiaki's eyes on things is too much fun. 게시됨 over a year ago
wantadog said …
I'm mad. 게시됨 over a year ago
wantadog commented…
*pout* over a year ago
TheLefteris24 commented…
^ ''Welcome to our crazy world of madness'' !!!! over a year ago
GDragon612 commented…
yupp welcome we sit all in the same 보트 ^^ over a year ago
Riku114 said …
So Imma prolly try to do a normal Sims game with no cheating 또는 anything. I randomized two characters. We have an artist for a dad with some other 랜덤 traits and a 괭이 of a mom. The child will end up being the character I actually try to raise up properly. 게시됨 over a year ago
Riku114 commented…
So my goal as parents is to make a not best standing for the kid starting to add to the challenge. Dad is the money maker with his artist career and the moms gonna be a cheating 괭이 XD over a year ago
Riku114 commented…
So the dads gonna be the one forced to actually be responsible for the kid and money for the most part XD over a year ago
Riku114 commented…
Lets see how this goes over a year ago
TheLefteris24 commented…
Centuries have passed since I last played a Sims Game XD Seeing this, made me intrigued in it once again LOL !!!! over a year ago
wantadog said …
Come on, Hajime. Show us your cool side. 게시됨 over a year ago
TheLefteris24 commented…
Hajime has always been pretty cool !!!! over a year ago
Riku114 said …
Honestly, the 더 많이 당신 deal with mental health, trauma, and a really shittily wired mind, the 더 많이 당신 develop a tolerance for really lame and boring trolling that 당신 cant escape tbh.

Cos like... its like a super annoying troll that knows all the things that can bother 당신 and is really good at dressing up like something whose opinion actually matters and whispers (and sometimes shouts) the same things that they know could bother you

And 당신 just sit there like... 게시됨 over a year ago
Riku114 commented…
link over a year ago
Riku114 commented…
0:10 over a year ago
Riku114 said …
[this 벽 post was forgotten the 초 Riku came to write it so this is here 의해 proxy] 게시됨 over a year ago
Riku114 said …
So in the end, my goal is to have either an African Grey 또는 Cockatoo from a rescue, my two Cockatiels, and a pigeon XD

Depending on how things go, I might get a Cockatoo and African Grey 또는 maybe some other bird, but thats the plan for birds.

No one can tell me otherwise.

Id also like to have a bird room. 게시됨 over a year ago
Riku114 said …
One of the most amusing moments someone caught me doing is that one time when I was watching cockatoo 비디오 on my phone and it did one of those cute happy neck bounces, and then in response cos it made me happy and I found it cute, I did one as well XD

My boyfriend who was 다음 to me just looked over and judged me XD 게시됨 over a year ago
Riku114 said …
Ill get to rating people tomorrow cos Im tired XD Long 일 since my boyfriends cat got euthanized 게시됨 over a year ago
TheLefteris24 commented…
Sorry to know about that. What I said before about your Bird, 구름, 클라우드 applies in here as well. Hope his Cat lived a contented life. Its memories will remain !!!! over a year ago
GDragon612 commented…
sleep well Riku hun<3 over a year ago
wantadog said …
I can't describe it in words, but very often I find the wording choice used in Pandora Hearts to be something I kinda don't like...

Well..not that I don't like it but 더 많이 that it feels off to me. 게시됨 over a year ago
wantadog commented…
"But is it what 당신 said true" over a year ago
wantadog commented…
That's an example. Pretty sure it's just minor issues with the translation I'm reading. over a year ago
Riku114 commented…
Oh yeah I noticed that too. Im pretty sure its translation errors and all, but they are minor so I kinda ignore it XD over a year ago
Riku114 said …
Wow I actually found an 아니메 that intrigues me.... I might actually watch it while Wantas working despite 읽기 Pandora Hearts and watching Danganronpa 게시됨 over a year ago
Riku114 commented…
FUCK ITS ONGOING over a year ago
Riku114 commented…
I HATE LIFE XD I WONT BE INTERESTED 의해 THE TIME ITS DONE over a year ago
TheLefteris24 commented…
Which one are 당신 talking about? over a year ago
Riku114 commented…
Happy Sugar Life over a year ago
Riku114 said …
My dad is literally stupid and so ignorant AND arrogant. Like he constantly makes the most outlandish and/or obviously wrong statements / beliefs to explain why he is right, then comes up with outlandish arguments and proof that in themselves are completely wrong and when 당신 prove him wrong he just ignores you.

He pulls so much bullshit out of his ass, but its like he doesnt even know it and is certain he is right. He believes FACTUALLY wrong things and gets annoyed when thats pointed out. 게시됨 over a year ago
wantadog commented…
He sounds like my 10 년 old little sister over a year ago
Riku114 said …
I think 구름, 클라우드 is getting better btw. 게시됨 over a year ago
TheLefteris24 commented…
That's certainly great to know !!!! over a year ago
GDragon612 commented…
thats good <3 over a year ago
wantadog said …
I felt 메리다와 마법의 숲 so I browsed something from V3.

I think I'll relate to Maki Harukawa if the pattern from 이전 Danganronpa stuff holds true. 게시됨 over a year ago
TheLefteris24 commented…
^ I'm curious about that pattern. What exactly is it that gave 당신 that idea? over a year ago
wantadog commented…
Mikan over a year ago
TheLefteris24 commented…
^ As I have told 당신 before, I am pretty sure that Ouma is going to end up being your 가장 좋아하는 in the new Cast. As for the Relatability, we'll see XD !!!! over a year ago
Riku114 said …
ALSO. I FORGOT TO MENTION THIS BUT I WAS 읽기 망가 WITH LUCY AND HE RANDOMLY WALKED OFF OF ME, POOPED, THEN WALKED BACK ON.

HE MADE AN ACTIVE EFFORT NOT TO POOP ON ME 게시됨 over a year ago
wantadog said …
💩 > Monaca 게시됨 over a year ago
Riku114 said …
Im just fawning over Vincent Nightray.

Its been a while since I fawned and its kinda nice XD A lot of my favorites have been REALLY strong ones that get overwhelmingly obsessive and this one is just like ":3 I 사랑 Vincent. Look at my Vincent. Hes my favorite. I 사랑 Vincent." 게시됨 over a year ago
Riku114 commented…
Id collect 이미지 but just collecting GIFs were risky enough of spoilers. At least Im like 60% done now. over a year ago
Riku114 commented…
My Vincent over a year ago
Riku114 said …
*10:30 PM*

Bird: *starts 노래 randomly*

Me: *from her desk* 저기요 당신 ARE SLEEPING

Birds: *not a single peep for the 다음 hour*

BTW their 'bed time' is at 9 PM XD 게시됨 over a year ago
Riku114 said …
This 랜덤 test Im taking on morality says Im strongly for "rational utilitarianism" 게시됨 over a year ago
Riku114 commented…
Between a score of 1-5, I got a below average 2.5 on empathy and a barely above average disgust XD over a year ago
Riku114 said …
Lucy likes to sit on my butt 게시됨 over a year ago
Riku114 said …
Also I 사랑 Vincent too much 게시됨 over a year ago
Riku114 said …
Better now. Honestly though, hes a piece of crap. Not vindicitvie 또는 aggressive 또는 anything, but he is literally a piece of crap incapable of functioning as a human being himself and relies on his wife for everything, but at the same time treats the thing that he relies on like trash.

My mom isnt innocent either, but she god damn is the better of two evils. 게시됨 over a year ago
Riku114 said …
https://tinyurl.com/yb4wf7sz 게시됨 over a year ago
Riku114 commented…
^Mood over a year ago
wantadog commented…
I'm sick rn so feel free to torture me all ya want. over a year ago
Riku114 commented…
Cos its not good for me to fester on my hatred for him 또는 anything. Cos I know it can get out of hand over a year ago
Riku114 said …
My dad makes me wish I was dead sometimes to be honest. Not like... suicide but like... really why the fuck was I born with this piece of shit as a father? What kind of responsible parent brings life into this piece of crap? 게시됨 over a year ago
Riku114 commented…
And its not really in a depressed way. Its 더 많이 so in an annoyed way. over a year ago
Riku114 commented…
Its less questioning it but 더 많이 so factually stating that I shouldnt have been. Its not a bad thing about me, its just a fact. over a year ago
TheLefteris24 commented…
^ Well, here's where I disagree. I'm glad about your Existence and wouldn't have it any other way. 당신 still have a lot to live for !!!! over a year ago
Riku114 said …
Me: *does appointments once every week like MOST people with mental health have* *get bitched at and insulted until I give in and tell my therapist to go up to two weeks which I know is too long*

My Dad: *has back pain* *goes to chiropractor two times a week - same price as therapist* *thats okay* 게시됨 over a year ago
Riku114 said …
inb4 Sims 5!

To obtain house building, please buy the "Construction" expansion pack for $60
To obtain personality traits, please buy the "Persona" expansion packs for $60
To obtain different types of windows, please buy the "Should have been in the game" stuff pack for $20

Old news and shit but EA can go to hell XD 게시됨 over a year ago
wantadog commented…
We're still gonna play Sims 3 더 많이 tho and see 당신 dive around dumpsters right? over a year ago
Riku114 said …
My leg hair is long. I should shave it at some point when Im not too lazy 게시됨 over a year ago
Riku114 said …
IM SO FUCKING TENSE.

I NEED something to do. 게시됨 over a year ago
Riku114 commented…
Ive done NOTHING particulalry productive 또는 worth anything for an 시간 and its painful :v Just stupid 비디오 that arent even funny and stupid bingos over a year ago
Riku114 commented…
Its only been an HOUR. This is what I mean 의해 the fact I cant relax and do nothing. It kills me. over a year ago
TheLefteris24 commented…
#Relatable !!!! over a year ago
Riku114 said …
Boredom makes me so uncomfortable, tense, anxious, and often causes me to start getting depressed.

Like ugh. 게시됨 over a year ago
Riku114 commented…
Im like literally probably able to like crush a diamond in my hand with how tense I get over a year ago
Riku114 commented…
cause Im not d o i n g a n y t h i n g over a year ago
TheLefteris24 commented…
Same. Could never really stand boredom myself !!!! over a year ago
Riku114 said …
Has anyone ever had the feeling like their entire sense of stable identity and knowledge on one self shatters?

Its such an uncomfortable feeling and can probably send me into an internal panic if I dont catch myself within like... 5 초 of the feeling initiating.

My mind passed the old "Wow, 당신 almost dont have any signs of trauma. Must of been a lie 당신 told yourself 또는 an act 당신 put on" thought through and ALMOST there for a 초 로스트 it 게시됨 over a year ago
Riku114 commented…
Honestly Ive gotten a lot better at dealing with that stuff though XD I catch myself really quickly so its been.... a while since I fell for that - 또는 well that one line at least. I fell for it like... a few weeks 이전 (? it feels like a 월 이전 but that cant be right) with my memory shit XD over a year ago
Riku114 said …
I have to wonder... at one point does processing the past and working through things change into torture and simply 더 많이 harm reminding myself of bad memories.

Cos its one of those very thin line I have to find with my mental health. At what point is it unnecessary distress and at what point is it healthy recognition?

Much like it took me a while to figure out if 글쓰기 my mental health journal was helping 더 많이 than it was causing me to get obsessed 또는 not. 게시됨 over a year ago
TheLefteris24 commented…
Processing the past is an important step towards Improvement. Then again, 당신 don't achieve any of your Life Goals in a day. Think of it like every other situation. Things require time. Work on yourself but don't overdo it. You'll learn to distinguish that line as long as 당신 keep it up !!!! over a year ago
Riku114 said …
Guys...

My digital hoarding is finally costing me money XD

I found a really good computer that has pretty much everything I want

Cept its like... a fourth of the memory Im used to cos it uses an SSD rather than an HHD XD

I cant part with my obsessive collections. I cant XD 게시됨 over a year ago
Riku114 commented…
So Imma buy a 1 TB HHD and install it into the new computer if I can convince my dad to get me this one I found XD over a year ago
wantadog commented…
These days any computer that doesnt have both will fall far under the mark in terms of quality over a year ago
Riku114 commented…
^Thanks for the info guys XD I already knew those things but much appreciated over a year ago