Riku114 Wall

Displaying wall entries 11-20 of 4837

Riku114 said …
Was gonna make my 프로필 "Just Riku" entirely cause I felt like it but nah. I felt like mixing it up since I didnt have a Danganronpa-specific background.

... quite shockingly actually. 게시됨 8 months ago
TheLefteris24 commented…
^ I'm shocked myself !!!! 8 months ago
Riku114 said …
... I just realized now after 읽기 'scientific literature' for an Animal Science Assignment a few weeks 이전 that I find 읽기 "scientific literature" for psychiatry and psychology as just like... a hobby XD 게시됨 8 months ago
Riku114 said …
Just a reminder of the stream on Saturday 2 PM 게시됨 8 months ago
Riku114 said …
On another note, getting a double major in Animal Science (Avian and Behavior specialization) and Psychology in 4 years seems a lot easier than Pre-Vet in 3.5 years XD 게시됨 8 months ago
Riku114 said …
I THINK I FINALLY FIGURED OUT EXACTLY WHAT I WANT TO DO FOR FUCKS SAKE FINALLY THE AMBIGUOUS PIECES OF ANIMAL SCIENCE MATCHED. 게시됨 8 months ago
Riku114 commented…
Okay so like I am going to complete my major in Animal Science, Avian Science Specialization and BEHAVIOR Disciplinary Focus. All of that is necessary for the Animal Science degree btw. A specialization and a Disciplinary Focus. But listen here - Im either going to minor 또는 double major in psychology just like I used to plan to for the majority of my middle / highschool career and carry on to get a Doctorate in Animal Behavior and / 또는 Psychology and then go into research for the both of them and essentially try to bridge the 질문 marks between animal and human psychology and see how the two could better develop, grow, and understand when looked at each other in a parallel manner. 8 months ago
Riku114 commented…
This solves a lot of my issues and pretty much combines my main two interests, obsessions, overwhelming passions, and ties in my otherwise 'random' goals into a larger circle. Like one of the issues with being a Veterinarian was that I felt I would get bored being specialized in that and just working commercially and I wouldnt be learning at the rate I like to. My brain would get bored and Id start to feel like life is dull. As for genetics and convservation, it just seems fun but half baked. I wasnt passionate 또는 THAT curious about it. BUT WHEN 당신 GO INTO ANIMAL BEHAVIOR AND PSYCHOLOGY, THEY ARE BOTH HUGE PASSIONS OF MINE AND THEY ARE BOTH RATHER UNEXPLORED TERRITORIES SO THERE IS A LOT OF 질문 AND THINGS TO FIGURE OUT 8 months ago
Riku114 commented…
Okay enough of me being a nerd. I just felt some of youd be curious XD 8 months ago
Riku114 said …
But yeah for those of 당신 that dont fully understand how problematic dissociative amnesia is when getting mental help

Therapy: So how was your week?

Me: ??????? I can check my notes if 당신 like????????

Psychiatry: Okay lets track your progress. In the past two weeks have 당신 felt this?

Me: ???????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

Me: WHAT IS TWO WEEKS. HOW COULD I REMEMBER THE PAST TWO WEEKS. MAYBE IVE BEEN GOOD MAYBE I HAVENT WHO KNOWS 게시됨 8 months ago
Riku114 commented…
I can probably maybe answer for "The past two days" confidently at best XD 8 months ago
Riku114 said …
On a 초 note, we have a "stale" (someone who joined the band post-Summer Retreat) and my motherly "adoptive" instincts kicked in and I think he thought I was an "upper" / "returner" for a bit until I was like "Oh yeah Im new too so I know how 당신 feel" 게시됨 8 months ago
BlueDopamine said …
97th. Was waiting to be the 100th, but knowing the growing community fanpop's active members number , this might take forever. 게시됨 8 months ago
Riku114 commented…
Understandable XD 8 months ago
Riku114 commented…
Honestly Ive 로스트 a member 또는 two so its kinda been staying around 95-97 for the past long while 8 months ago
Riku114 said …
Me: *rambling about 이전 mental states to boyfriend* Ah... 10th grade was like the most peaceful 년 even though I dont remember any of it.

Me: ....

Me: .... maybe it wasn't peaceful after all and I only say it was because of all the years, I dont remember any of 10th grade. 게시됨 8 months ago
Riku114 said …
My boyfriend is too cute to be depressed 또는 mopey when talking to on video chat 게시됨 8 months ago
BlueDopamine commented…
I'm so 젤리 8 months ago
Riku114 said …
The depressing thing is when 당신 pause for a moment and realize 당신 wont remember your own proposal. 게시됨 8 months ago
Riku114 said …
"therapist: so how was your week

me: susan i just told 당신 last time that i have dissociative amnesia i don't know how 당신 are expecting me to answer that question"

That is such a mood 게시됨 8 months ago
Riku114 commented…
I legit take notes 8 months ago
Riku114 commented…
I will take a note of this and legit not really remember it and in my session go "OH YEAH THAT lol. That was funny." 8 months ago
Riku114 said …
I honest to god do not know how most of the world does it. I am trying my damn hardest here to see if I can get myself to ACTUALLY remember a significant childhood memory with genuine episodic memory and all Im getting is a factual, third person, emotionally barren, summary of what it is using the same words that I use to describe it everytime cause its how my mind registers it

How do 당신 people remember stuff XD 게시됨 8 months ago
Riku114 commented…
How do 당신 people do this XD 8 months ago
Riku114 said …
Fun stream XD Hope 당신 guys enjoyed it. 게시됨 8 months ago
TheLefteris24 commented…
I certainly did. Looking 앞으로 to 다음 time as well !!!! 8 months ago
Riku114 said …
Im honeslty SUPER hyped to play DRAE for those that can make it XD

I mean Im hyped for the stream but I personally 사랑 DRAE a lot and it seems like such a fitting game to play through since there are people I know who planned to go through the story and all and I just appreciate a lot abotu the game

Plus 당신 might get to hear me growl at [her] 게시됨 8 months ago
Riku114 commented…
I might try to 옮기기 the weekly time an 시간 또는 two earlier to see if I can make the time work for 더 많이 people 다음 week. Currently trying to figure out a good time for everyone XD 8 months ago
TheLefteris24 commented…
A relatable feeling. Still having mixed feelings about anyone who hasn't gone through the first two Games. Regardless, having just the general idea about the first entry at least will still make the experience enjoyable enough !!!!. 8 months ago
Riku114 said …
I decided Imma gather a Live National Dex on PokeBank cause someone on my floor did it and I helped them evolve the last few they needed and it sounded fun XD 게시됨 8 months ago
Riku114 said …
TFW 당신 find a song that tears 당신 between your 사랑 of 크리스마스 and 당신 사랑 of nicely edgy songs XD

Why so edgy about 크리스마스 XD Its so nicely edgy that its kinda enjoyable but like :v I like it but :v Why hurt 크리스마스 like this :v 게시됨 8 months ago
Riku114 said …
Guys 게시됨 8 months ago
Riku114 commented…
I might 사랑 my man 더 많이 than birds 8 months ago
Riku114 commented…
Idk its genuinely hard to say, but I just homestly might. Maybe notably 더 많이 idk. I shouldnt claim such things when fluffy 8 months ago
Zeppie commented…
Fluff is the realist yo v: 8 months ago
Riku114 said …
I NEED TO STOP GETTING ALL FLUFFY OVER MY MAN BEFORE BED. I NEED TO SLEEP DAMN IT 게시됨 8 months ago
Riku114 said …
*collects steam cards while working on really long and tedious Animal Science 기사 reading* 게시됨 8 months ago
Riku114 said …
I dont think anyone on here really understands how much I 사랑 mt boyfriend and how blessed I am to have him in my life.

Lowkey may 또는 may not now be kept up thinking about it 게시됨 8 months ago
Riku114 commented…
I cant wait to make him my waifu officially 8 months ago
Riku114 said …
Riku: *complains how tired she is*

Riku: *stays up playing Showdown with Lefteris* 게시됨 8 months ago
Riku114 said …
I can not stop listening to 대포 in D XD Its too peaceful 게시됨 8 months ago
Riku114 said …
.... why do I have a better emotional memory for my RP characters than I do for my own life?

XD Like Ive always loved Pachbell's 대포 in D, but there was a really sweet scene over a wedding in one of my RPs where it was played and the sheer joy, happiness, and warm peace amongst chaos and terror for the groom was just so great and it boosted how much I loved 대포 in D 게시됨 8 months ago
Riku114 commented…
Maybe I RPed so much it was bad for me and encouraged dissociation, maybe the reason I could get THAT far into feeling the emotions of my characters came at a huge cost, but I wont say I dont have some good memories and emotions through them. Especially during a time when everything else in the world was distant, numb, and empty. Sure it probably caused some harm, but in the moment it was the savior to my world and I did get some good memories - albiet not mine - out of it 8 months ago
Riku114 commented…
I used to be a severe maladaptive daydreamer 8 months ago
Riku114 said …
For those that haven't kept up with the polls, if anyone wants to 가입하기 in and watch me play through some games, I will probably be playing games on Saturdays Pacific Coast Time.

I think this week I might start Danganronpa Another Episode again for 당신 all XD Time is still to be determined

It depends if I am kept in the football game 또는 not. 게시됨 8 months ago
Riku114 commented…
link 8 months ago
Riku114 commented…
I think Lefteris caught a lot of the first playthrough I did XD 8 months ago
Riku114 commented…
And Imma go through [her] again for yall to share the game with 당신 XD 8 months ago
Riku114 said …
Im so honestly sleep deprived. How am I awake rn? XD 게시됨 8 months ago
Riku114 said …
I'm a Queen. 게시됨 8 months ago
Riku114 commented…
Nah not really though XD Im so weak to flirtatious begging though. ((Also may have been a bit of a residue from calming down from a snap to which I was five 초 from making my dad grovel)) 8 months ago
Riku114 commented…
Honestly, for those that know, Lacie from Pandora Hearts looks almost scarily like Aderis so Im usually really careful about using her icon, but I kind of feel like its a good fit for my mood and honestly I 사랑 Lacie XD 8 months ago
TheLefteris24 commented…
#Himedere !!!! 8 months ago
Riku114 said …
Ah yes, it wouldnt be me coming 집 if my dad doesnt throw something.

RIP the cute japanese animal cup 게시됨 9 months ago
Riku114 commented…
Actually I dont think the cup broke cause its probably like some really good plastic 또는 something but now theres wine all over the floor which IS NOT my problem. 9 months ago
Riku114 commented…
Honestly tho. Great boyfriend helped a lot XD 8 months ago
Riku114 said …
APPARENTLY WE GOT A NEW BIRD TO THE FLOCK 게시됨 9 months ago
Riku114 said …
Awwwww Avery and Lucy were preening each other in an awkward manner XD Seems like they MIGHT be dating XD

Well 더 많이 like Lucy was preening Avery buuuuut XD Its cute. Theyre growing up. 게시됨 9 months ago
Riku114 said …
.... HMMM

>goes 집 and back to college for three weeks before coming back for Christmas
>has a paper due on the 30th
>has a week of marching practice for the last game on the 1st
>has finals on the third week
>dying? 게시됨 9 months ago
Riku114 commented…
Also behind as hell in Chem XD But yeah. Ill figure it out XD 9 months ago
Riku114 said …
Also the thing about my therapist is that he calls me out on somethings. Such as "You use your memory as an excuse a lot but 당신 can remember. 당신 just dont want to. And even if 당신 dont know how, it doesnt mean 당신 cant."

Im not going to lie. I kinda try to hide it from myself but there are some occasions that I know that if I push I CAN remember something but there is a lot of natural resistance to it and just an extreme distaste to thinking about it even just on the surface level so 게시됨 9 months ago
Riku114 commented…
I often allow myself to go "Welp, it took 더 많이 than five 초 and a tiny tiny bit of effort to remember. Guess I cant remember it". Its not always an excuse that I try to keep from admitting to myself that its an excuse, because a lot of the time I really cant 또는 I can only barely remember 또는 I just flat out dont know how to find the memories 또는 how to connect with the emotions of the time 9 months ago
Riku114 commented…
But I do know I compulsively let myself throw the "Cant remember it. Guess we cant think about it" really quickly and often prematurely. 9 months ago
Riku114 commented…
Im in a constant journey of going to things I find normal and being ".... is that normal 또는 is that part of my messed up mental health" 9 months ago
Riku114 said …
Its weird. Being 집 literally feels like I was moved to an entirely different world but in a like... good way I think?

Was I really that shit 나귀, 엉덩이 dissociated to hell and back at college? 게시됨 9 months ago
Riku114 commented…
It honestly makes college just seem like some odd dream I had 또는 something like that. Its really odd. I mean its not THAT odd for me since cognitive distortions and attachment to the world / my memory has always been odd 9 months ago
Riku114 said …
MY ANKLE HURTS LIKE SHIT FOR SOME REASON XD

I mean it is my hurt one but like :v Its been recovering and suddenly it started hurting again ;-; 게시됨 9 months ago
SilentForce commented…
Did 당신 overwork it? 9 months ago
Riku114 commented…
Probably tbh XD 9 months ago
Riku114 commented…
Kill me XD Jkjk 9 months ago
Riku114 said …
Honestly Im kinda glad I have gotten better at keeping myself from freaking out / getting depressed over things I can't control and things I know Ill manage / survive through. Not to say I do it all the time as well as Id like, but it saves me a lot of breakdowns that quickly build upon one another

Probably a good part of it is actually being on medication, but it is also a good part also just handling myself better I imagine. 게시됨 9 months ago
Riku114 commented…
Cause when 당신 let your opportunity to relax 또는 have fun because something makes 당신 upset, 당신 get even 더 많이 upset cause of that and it just builds up like a mountain that just doesnt work 9 months ago
Riku114 commented…
So yeah. Kinda figured out that for the 다음 two years I might be stuck between working and being uncomfortable and relatively isolated to being extremely drained and a bit easily overwhelmed until I can get my boyfriend up north and thus have my environment 더 많이 stable 9 months ago
Riku114 commented…
Cause uncontrolled unplanned breakdowns are bad, but like... controlled, timed ones are really helpful and useful when 당신 dissociate a lot and can get comfortable enough. 9 months ago
Riku114 said …
.... Ive been away from 집 for two months and it legit feels like I was only gone for maybe a week at most save for the first few 분 of "Holy shit human touch".

Like Im not saying "Everythings just as it was left" cos there actually isnt much. It just legit feels like that whole time vanished :v I know I was at college for two months and it was long and tiring :v Weeeiiiirrrddd 게시됨 9 months ago
Riku114 commented…
I swear to fucking god XD My brain better not throw away those two months already. Theres some interesting shit there :v 9 months ago
Riku114 said …
Dude so excited to go 집 tomorrow XD I get to see my birds again as well as my boyfriend and even some of my old band kids probably \(-- 3 -)/ 게시됨 9 months ago
TheLefteris24 commented…
That is great to know. Have a good time. Make the most of it !!!! 9 months ago
Riku114 said …
Bad Memory?

Cons: A lot of things mainly obvious

Pro: I can still be surprised at the end of an 아니메 Ive already watched twice over 게시됨 9 months ago
Riku114 said …
.... to be entirely honest I dunno how braced Ill be for Smokey's inevitable death in like.... 5-15 years from now :v

Like Im alright not taking her with me since shes considerably old and well integrated into the current flock cause the 옮기기 up north could be dangerous for her and cos my mom can take care of them well, but I dunno. She was a major part of the good things of my childhood that I dunno. 게시됨 9 months ago
Riku114 said …
For all of 당신 that dont really understand how old parrotss live, even cockatiels, one of the shortest living parrots, Smokey, potentially one of the oldest that I got in the summer of 3rd-4th grade ((was probably a little under a 년 old))

I got her when I was about 8. Shes currently about 10 years old, maybe a bit older. She will live anywhere from until Im.... 23 up to 38.

Lucy, who hatched July 2017, is a little over one 년 and will live until Im 42 if cared for right. 게시됨 9 months ago
Riku114 commented…
Maybe even longer for both of them. 9 months ago
Riku114 said …
Honestly, I am ever thankful for it, but the whole "wounded, cold person who can be helped and fixed to be soft" is a huge trap and like.... 90% of the time it doesnt really go out to the end. A small but notable amount of the population are like "Id 사랑 a traumatized partner" 또는 "Oh Id 사랑 a yandere" 또는 what not, but its honestly not a good idea

My boyfriend was honest to god crazy for taking the chance with me after half the things I did and staying after I did other things. 게시됨 9 months ago
Riku114 commented…
Quite honestly if I wasnt stubborn on getting better, it could have easily turned into a long term abusive relationship faster than I could have held myself back. Yeah I have an amazing relationship with him now that we worked through all of that, but seriously... not something 당신 should put your bets on. 9 months ago
Riku114 commented…
Its honestly kinda gross how romanticized the "cold and cruel traumatized" character is. 9 months ago
Rihanna312 commented…
This is so true! 9 months ago
Riku114 said …
Okay so its likely that I actually do have genuine multiple personalities and in this session, for the first time in years and possibly to my memory, I actually roughly experienced a general vague memory that had almost all of the emotion behind it

And while that sounds horrible, its legit what Ive been kind of wanting because its the only thing I have been unable to work on in my mental health cause I resist so naturally against it myself that even in this session 게시됨 9 months ago
Riku114 commented…
I had to very forcefully make sure I didnt dissociate 또는 let myself escape it 9 months ago
Riku114 commented…
It took him not letting me dodge it and escape it and a very forceful but balanced amount of me forcing myself without letting myself get distracted and escape 의해 focusing too much on forcing myself 9 months ago
TheLefteris24 commented…
Very interesting. I see now what 당신 mean 의해 him doing a good work !!!! 9 months ago
Riku114 said …
Man its been so long since I so quickly and suddenly cut off emotion. 게시됨 9 months ago
2ntyOnePilots commented…
Relatable. Good luck ‘big sis- Riku’. Hope that gets fixed up for 당신 soon. 9 months ago
Riku114 said …
Well Imma get fucked in the 나귀, 엉덩이 의해 a 60% weighted final. 게시됨 9 months ago
Riku114 commented…
Which wouldnt be a huge deal if either A) I didnt get a C+ on the last midterm because of one stupid calculation error (cause I would have otherwise gotten an A) and B ) If I wasnt learning from fucking textbook because my professor has an accent 당신 cant fucking understand 9 months ago
Riku114 commented…
What a fucking 일 ruiner. 9 months ago
Riku114 commented…
^ 9 months ago
Riku114 said …
IM SAD

I CANT 가입하기 THE "Mental HEalth in Award Winning Movies" FIRST 년 SEMINAR BECAUSE IM TOO AHEAD IN UNITS AND CAUSE I HAVE TOO MANY CLASSES

I JUST WANT TO DISCUSS AND TALK TO PEOPLE ABOUT MENTAL HEALTH AND WATCH 영화 REVOLVING IT :VVVV 게시됨 9 months ago
Riku114 said …
NOTE TO SELF CALL COUNSELING AND FIGURE OUT HOW LATE I CAN 취소하기 IN CASE MY MIDTERM GETS PUSHED BACK AGAIN.

ALSO FIGURE OUT PASSING PERIOD.

Thank you, this as been a reminder from Riku who wants to go back to sleeping after her classes got canceled at 7 AM and couldnt go back to sleep out of both joy and her brain not letting her since there were things to do because of it. 게시됨 9 months ago
Riku114 said …
Honestly Yandere Dev is miserable and I stopped being a supporter cause I kinda gave up on the fact his project would be completed but honestly I might go back to supporting him more. 또는 at least giving his thing a 초 chance. I kinda felt bad before but at least hes aware and working on things. 게시됨 9 months ago
Riku114 said …
Ugh. When 당신 are here trying to keep a decent sleep schedule and your roommate wont get off the phone on a school night at 1:30 AM after 당신 asked nicely at 1:00 AM and just passive aggressively asked again. 게시됨 9 months ago
JetBlack__ commented…
Why not use ear plugs? 9 months ago
Riku114 commented…
Cos I couldnt sleep with earplugs 9 months ago
Riku114 said …
I could honestly live with only birds and my boyfriend and I would be happpppy. 게시됨 9 months ago
Riku114 commented…
I want my flock back ;-; 9 months ago
Riku114 said …
ALSO THE LIKE BURNT / CHAFED / DAMAGED SKIN FROM USING CRUTCHES WITH A TANK 상단, 맨 위로 BURNS SO BAD WHEN I PUT LOTION ON 예수님 CHRIST I FEEL LIKE ITS ON 불, 화재 게시됨 9 months ago
Riku114 said …
*heavy conversation and analysis about the cooperate religion of BTS*

*sends a 랜덤 bird video three 초 after* 게시됨 9 months ago
Riku114 commented…
That actually happened and is the best summary of me 9 months ago
Riku114 said …
I swear to god my mom gave me a 심장 attack XD

She abruptly started calling me which isnt TOO odd and I was like "Im busy, what is it?" and she just said "Lucy" XD

So I quickly dropped everythign and answered it and it was just Lucy hanging out with her and being a really good bird XD 게시됨 9 months ago
Riku114 said …
I honestly dont understand how people can just sit and piss their life away online.

Id be 더 많이 producitve if my piss 나귀, 엉덩이 brain would function and actually get motivated but the lack of physical movement is making me honest to god unmotivated mentally and thus cant focus 또는 really enjoy anything >.> 게시됨 9 months ago
Riku114 said …
Honestly kinda hate my leg right now. I have a three 일 weekend Im spending being a hermit in my house cause I cant go out anywhere and socialize 또는 so anything. Im literally just sitting on my 나귀, 엉덩이 watching anime, watching youtube, and occasionally doing some homework 또는 whatever. No real video games to play since Im still doing Hakuoki and not interested in any others. No real socialization cause Im a cripple. 게시됨 9 months ago
Riku114 commented…
Without class 또는 band 또는 anything I just lowkey kinda realize how shit as boring life is. I need something to be passionate over 또는 something to learn from 또는 something / someone interesting but Im just fukcing sitting here doing the same thign over and over again. Like wtf 9 months ago
Riku114 commented…
If Im just gonna sit and waste these 다음 few days can I at least not be involved in it and just fastfoward? I get a bit weird when I realize how monotonous life is and I dont particularly like it 9 months ago
Riku114 said …
Krul might make my waifu list XD 게시됨 9 months ago
Riku114 said …
IM SO SHOOK. WHY ARE MY FIRST BATCH OF ROOKIES DOING SENIOR SPEECHES?! ARENT THEY STILL LIKE FRESHMEN

WHY DID THEY GROW UP ALREADY?!?! 게시됨 9 months ago
Riku114 said …
I request a bird 비디오 in my club's video section if anyone has any. 게시됨 9 months ago
Riku114 commented…
"a bird videos" 9 months ago
JetBlack__ commented…
Sure 9 months ago
Riku114 said …
So Im trying to analyze BPD, OSDD-1B, and DID to see if what I do and experience is 더 많이 fitting to one of the three 또는 just seeing them in the context of eachother and its honestly really interesting. I dunno if Ill post it on "Just Shut Up" 또는 as an 기사 but wow.

I could honest to god write a thesis paper on this with how interestingly similar the three - especially BPD and OSDD - are on an outward level. 게시됨 9 months ago
Riku114 said …
#TripleHealRainDishPelipper 게시됨 9 months ago
TheLefteris24 commented…
#SpamProtectAndHealUntilThereIsn'tAnyMorePP !!!! 9 months ago
Riku114 said …
>Sugar Daddy Riku 게시됨 9 months ago
Riku114 said …
Lets play the game of "Is this the dissociated part of is that the dissociated part" 게시됨 9 months ago
Riku114 commented…
I honestly need my flock back. 9 months ago
Riku114 said …
Apologies about the Satou Matsuzaka gif spam XD The wiki feature wasnt working 게시됨 9 months ago
TheLefteris24 commented…
No need to apologize over adorable Waifu Gif spams. 당신 did well !!!! 9 months ago
Riku114 said …
FUCK IM SO DISAPPOINTED. HAPPY SUGAR LIFE WAS SO CLOSE TO THE CLASSICAL SHAKESPEAREAN TRAGEDY ENDING WITH THE WHOLE CAST COMING TOGETHER AT THE END AND DYING ALL TOGETHER IN ONE PLACE BUT THEN THEY YEETED OUT OF THE PLAN AND IT WOULD HAVE BEEN BEAUTIFUL 게시됨 9 months ago
Riku114 said …
EEEE. ITS ALMOST THURSDAY. 게시됨 9 months ago
Riku114 commented…
I 사랑 therapy so much when I have bad weeks on mental health XD 9 months ago
Riku114 commented…
Ive kinda been pulling myself through the way I usually do and kind of using band and the trumpet as a crutch a bit. Cause honestly they give off such a nice healthy environment and air. Its soft and I feel so much 더 많이 relaxed around them. Like when the topic of mental health comes up its always sympathetic, empathetic, and just "Oh its good to care for yourself" and all and the world just needs so much 더 많이 of that. 9 months ago
Riku114 commented…
Im very grateful. 9 months ago
Riku114 said …
Im still honestly kinda 쓴, 쓰라린 I was disarmed going to college. I like to have at least one 칼, 나이프 on me at all times for just general use 또는 for emergency use 또는 just as a bit of a "dont fuck with me" if Im alone at night. 게시됨 9 months ago
Riku114 said …
GOD. Happy Sugar Life thus far is GREAT. Like the stylistic choices to display emotion and mental snaps are really great and as someone who has had very... lets say vindictive / aggressive mental snaps, I feel it is really good representation XD

Also I really like Sato as a Yandere. Better than Yuno I believe. 게시됨 9 months ago
Riku114 commented…
Holy shit is it amazing. All the characters are mentally fucked and the 아니메 goes about its own ways of addesssing it 9 months ago
Riku114 commented…
And displaying it and I fucking 사랑 it but like 9 months ago
Riku114 commented…
I need to go to sleep XD But Im fucking hooked god help me 9 months ago
Riku114 said …
Debating between adding 더 많이 to characters 또는 watching Happy Sugar Life. I decided that one since it interested me the most even though I am slightly concerned of certain things not workign well with me but... Ya know #Yolo 게시됨 9 months ago
Riku114 said …
Pretty much had a one-on-one sectional practice with one of my section leaders cos no one else showed up and it was actually pretty awesome. 게시됨 9 months ago
Riku114 said …
Also I realized one of the best types of people to have around 당신 in the case 당신 get into an accident 또는 bad situation is someone with like.... anxiety 또는 PTSD cos we are always either mentally braced 또는 physically braced to deal with it.

Cos dude I have pretty much a first aid kit with me whenever I do anything remotely dangerous XD

Like I heard the bike breaks behind me screech like there was an accident turned around and was like "ARE 당신 GUYS OKAY I GOT BANDAGES AND SUPPLIES" 게시됨 9 months ago
JetBlack__ commented…
I am so doing a meme of this xD 9 months ago
TheLefteris24 commented…
^ 👌 !!!! 9 months ago
Riku114 commented…
XD 9 months ago
Riku114 said …
I was most definately not almost late for class despite being there 20 분 early because I got too into checking out the birds and psychology 책 in the bookstore across the 거리 from my class 게시됨 9 months ago
Riku114 said …
Me @ My Brain: Make serotonin and dopamine 당신 lazy fucker 게시됨 9 months ago
Riku114 said …
Honestly it feels like I missed three consecutive days of anxiety medicine and while my ability to remember to take medicine the past week has been bad, I do not think I missed three days.

Cause apparently if I miss three days in a row it resets 또는 something and thus I never missed three days in a row since I started taking it like... a 년 and a half 이전 게시됨 9 months ago
Riku114 commented…
Its honestly been a while since Ive been in a point of instability and my mind messing with itself that I have so strongly marked a 일 to 'survive' with it to. 9 months ago
Riku114 commented…
Like this is all minor compared to before and its pretty bad so like.... serious props to younger me 9 months ago
Riku114 commented…
She was a beast to deal with all this 9 months ago
JetBlack__ said …
When 당신 own a Cockatoo someday name it Riku xD 게시됨 9 months ago
Riku114 commented…
Why XD 9 months ago
Riku114 said …
Im honestly not cut out for living with people other than like.... birds and maybe my boyfriend. I could probably also manage living with my PTSD best friend, but unless Im really bonded and/or really really trust them and are comfortable around them, it takes a huge toll on me in the long run

And things get really hard to manage when Im not fully stable because the small things trigger things to start again that I just have to keep to myself and it greatly slows down recovering. 게시됨 9 months ago
Riku114 commented…
Cause unless its someone I trust and am comfortable with, I get easily set off when Im not fully stable and I know its usually ridiculous and overresponsive due to being unstable and just end up having to keep it to myself 9 months ago
Riku114 commented…
But honestly I cant wait to get my own studio. I can handle things so much easier that way. 9 months ago
Riku114 commented…
I 사랑 my roommates and they are great people but I dont think its that good for me and all 9 months ago
Riku114 said …
WHY THE FUCK ARE ALL THE UNREQUITED 사랑 ROUTES WORSE THAN THE BAD ROUTES

UNREQUITED 사랑 SOUNDS LIKE THE MEDIUM ONE BUT IN EDO BLOSSOMS ITS THE WORST 게시됨 9 months ago
Riku114 commented…
Okay so Okita and Hijikata are pretty neck in neck relatable 9 months ago
Riku114 said …
I decided that after I finish Okitas route Imma take a break and watch Happy Sugar Love. Ive been wanting to watch it for a while and just remembered it now that its finished XD 게시됨 9 months ago
Riku114 commented…
Maybe not actualyl Ill see XD 9 months ago
Riku114 said …
Id probably think Im some Tumblr self diagnoser with all the diagnoses I have but I really dont bring up most of them :v Im actually really shy about askign about them cause I dont wanna be a self diagnoser to the point my first therapist knew I had PTSD for a while but it technically wasnt official for over a 년 XD 게시됨 9 months ago
Riku114 commented…
And Im pretty casual with them cause its just a label, something to look into and understand and reflect on, and somethign to aid in planning further recovery progress 9 months ago
Riku114 said …
Ooof. Apparently the new trumpet section leader this 년 in my old highschool band is hospitalized with a collapsed lung and he has a solo for the fieldshow that no one can replace 게시됨 9 months ago
Riku114 said …
.... tfw your 가장 좋아하는 college professor has a lot of negative "Rate My Professor" ratings despite him being literally one of the best public speakers and most engaging teachers???

And its not only me. Like everyone who sits around me also agrees??? 게시됨 9 months ago
Riku114 commented…
How the fuck XD 9 months ago
Riku114 commented…
Imma give him five stars when I finish the class cos tbh sometimes I just go to his class for the energy and engagement in the class. Hes a wonderful lecturer and its a good escape from life for a bit XD 9 months ago
Riku114 said …
Honestly glad I have chickens this morning for lab cause my brain is being fucking retarded cause yesterday was long and a bit problematic plus I got half the amount of sleep I usually do >.> 게시됨 9 months ago
Riku114 commented…
Starting therapy again after 3 months off and shit is messing with my mind a bit :v 9 months ago
Riku114 commented…
She was such a precious hen 9 months ago
Riku114 said …
Also Okita is too relatable too XD 게시됨 9 months ago
Riku114 said …
Me: I shoudl actually get a referral for psychiatry before I come close to running out of medication and risk having to go over three days without it. Imma go get that appointment

Me: *goes to the health website*

Website: We have these appointments tomorrow. If they dont work, contact this number for assistance

Me: O-O HOLY SHIT 당신 DONT HAVE TO WAIT A WEEK PLUS FOR A DOCTOR APPOINTMENT? IS THIS WHAT NOT SUPER SHITTY MEDICAL SERVICE IS?! 게시됨 9 months ago
Riku114 said …
#DowntownDavisDay 게시됨 9 months ago
Riku114 said …
I miss my better half XD 게시됨 9 months ago
Riku114 commented…
My mentally-healthy lifestyle is harder to manage without him XD 9 months ago
Riku114 commented…
Cause honestly Im actually like.... 5x 더 많이 efficient with my time and 더 많이 productive and 더 많이 active. I actually study a bit, Im ahead on my homework, and I work well on my projects of interests because I dont spend time just laying down doing nothing 또는 napping 또는 taking pointless walks 또는 other things that are otherwise considered inefficient usage of time 9 months ago
Riku114 commented…
Personally I just dont have much of anything better to do XD 9 months ago
Riku114 said …
Bro I need to chill XD

I mean I know I did most of my homework today that I had to do tomorrow so I can make Thursday an almost free day

But like... When I suggest we play something casual and shit like Sims again

Dont go off and be like "Nah we could work on developing characters more" and almost start doing it when 당신 have a damn headache XD 게시됨 9 months ago
Riku114 said …
Me: *explaining to my innocent roommate about THAT corner of tumblr*

Her: Doesnt it trigger 당신 ever?

Me: It actually has in the past but yeah

Conversation: *turns to topic of she who should not be mention*

Me: ha..hahah....ha. No brain lets not get like this 게시됨 9 months ago
Riku114 commented…
Cntrl Alt 삭제 that. I do not need to think about it XD 9 months ago
Riku114 said …
Roommate: Do 당신 ever write down your feelings 또는 anything?

Me: Do 당신 want to see what it looked like when I did?

Roommate: .... with how 당신 said that, Im honestly scared and will decide to pass on that. 게시됨 9 months ago
Riku114 said …
Boi between TwinkleStar mentioning it and Okita's route, Im really remembering how bloodthirsty I used to get when I was really emotionally and mentally unstable. 게시됨 9 months ago
Riku114 said …
Honestly as much of a shitty developer that YandereDev is, he hired a good person to create a good theme for the Delinquents and I really honestly 사랑 the theme for its composition and shit 게시됨 9 months ago
Riku114 said …
:vvv That feeling when 당신 go to sleep and 20 분 later your trumpet chat has one of those great night time 랜덤 bullshit discussions and now 당신 wish 당신 didnt sleep :v XD 게시됨 9 months ago
Riku114 said …
Also my new therapist feels OCPD is a 더 많이 fitting diagnosis than OCD (excluding the fact Trichotillomania is a subtype of OCD) 게시됨 9 months ago
Riku114 commented…
To be honest might look 더 많이 into it and discuss it 더 많이 with him at some point but I lowkey dont want to accept it XD 9 months ago
Riku114 commented…
If I do have it (cause we barely talked about it in the run through of who I am on the first meeting) but I dont want to add one 더 많이 general branch of disorders to my list XD 9 months ago
Riku114 commented…
Imma be sad is I become an even larger ball of mental health XD 9 months ago
Riku114 said …
:3 I served as a pivot point for moving my roommate's 일 from depressive as fuck to good again :3

It did cost my Hakuoki time I had scheduled but its nice to see I could help.

Shes now talking to her aunt about stuff and 앞으로 planning and thats good :3 게시됨 9 months ago
Riku114 said …
Me: Well shit having trouble sleeping

Me: I guess Ill just do the entire week's worth of Econ homework ahead 게시됨 9 months ago
Riku114 commented…
Homework shouldnt be as calming as it is XD 9 months ago
Riku114 commented…
My brain was keeping awake festering on dumb anxieties so I just fed it something else to think about and be busy with XD 9 months ago
Riku114 commented…
BTW GAD is short for Generalized Anxiety Disorder 9 months ago
Riku114 said …
I relate to Okita's Tuberculosis rn with how bad my lungs got fucked up 의해 my cold XD 게시됨 9 months ago
Riku114 said …
Personally I feel that the older 당신 get, the larger the responsibility it should be for 당신 to provide for the younger generations. Not necessarily so strictly as said, but its part of what makes humans special. We are so capable at passing down information for years to come.

Its the responsibility of older members of society to provide as much learning experience to their youngers so progress can keep moving and everyone's life in net can be easier 게시됨 9 months ago
Riku114 commented…
In that way, its an older person's responsibility to guide and help the younger people as much as they can because as someone who is older, 당신 have a higher ability to be stable and have learned how to manage your own life. On the other hand, kids to young adults are shakey on it and just a little aid in that struggle can leave a large impact 9 months ago
Riku114 commented…
Its a bit why Im always a mother that adopts younger people a lot to be honest. I may only be a 년 또는 two older often, but everyone could use a "big sister" "big brother" 또는 "parent" and such a relationship dynamic can help a lot. 9 months ago
Riku114 commented…
And Im not saying responsibility like I usually do where its something I know is probably toxic and I feel I have to. I think its just a good rule of thumb. We ourselves might not have our lives together, but 더 많이 often than not, I feel they are 더 많이 로스트 in life. Some might not have faced the major things like money, work, and all, but if 당신 think about it, a little kid loosing his 가장 좋아하는 toy is super distressing and that in itself is something weve learned to handle and thus its our responsibility to help them and guide them in their way 9 months ago
TheLefteris24 commented…
Amen to that !!!! 9 months ago
Riku114 said …
I think I succeeded in taking a break today 게시됨 9 months ago
Riku114 commented…
Mainly because my dormmates were out pretty much all 일 and thus I was able to finally have a 일 to just relax and all so its KINDA cheating, but fuck I did it XD 9 months ago
Riku114 commented…
So I didnt really overcome my mental health obstacles and stuff like I wanted and what would normally be the situation, but I did at the very least complete the task of giving my brain a break and taking a 일 to just relax XD 9 months ago
TheLefteris24 commented…
A cookie has been earned !!!! 9 months ago
Riku114 said …
YEp Souji shows potential for beign relatable too as I expected XD Im starting his route now 게시됨 9 months ago
Riku114 said …
I honestly 사랑 my boyfriend and how much he accepts my weirdness and bullshit XD He literally just openly accepted and went along with me calling him "my uke" XD 게시됨 9 months ago
Riku114 commented…
He is quite honestly just everything I could ever want in a partner and stuff I didnt think were necessarily even possible to actually find XD 9 months ago
Riku114 said …
BFRBs + Athletes foot REALLY isnt a good combo XD 게시됨 9 months ago
Riku114 said …
Me: Okay its 11 AM what are we supposed to be going? *checks calendar*

Me: .... the calendar is blank until 6 PM

Me #2: Ya know we planned to like... ya know, have an easy 일 on the weekend?

Me: .... OKAY THEN. LETS GET DOWN TO RELAXING AND HAVING FUN. WHAT ARE WE SUPPOSED TO PLAY 또는 DO

Me #2: Can 당신 like... not be so extreme and just relax when relaxing 게시됨 9 months ago
Riku114 commented…
Deep breaths, relax muscles, lower shoulders, and just do whatever~ 9 months ago