So Im back again with another ramble - just something that I was thinking about after watching a play through of a game that talked about the topic and I dont think I really ever shared my personal thoughts and views on it. I’ve shared that I’ve dealt with ideas of it, dealt with a few people around me attempting (luckily failing), and multiple suicide notes as well as how to deal with 프렌즈 coming to 당신 with the full intent on killing themselves, but I never really talked about how I see it and my thoughts on it… and honestly its because my thoughts on it are very complex and hard to fit into proper words.

It really isnt something so easy to say as “suicide is bad” - 의해 all means, Im not endorsing it - but as someone with experience with severe depression, anxiety, and mental health problems, and as someone who was heavily suicidal in the past before, I really cant say that. Suicide isnt a good thing to happen to anyone, may it being their own suicide 또는 someone they know, but just thinking about it, its not something 당신 can just write off like that.

Suicide is an escape from what feels unbearable. Its a release from a situation that is taxing, tiring, ruined, and seemingly unfixable. Its a break and relief from the horrible torture and monotony that life can bring. Its a freedom from the grasps of a poor mental state and freedom from everything that has haunted you. Its grasping control and power over your life when 당신 feel you’ve 로스트 all control.

I understand that. I empathize. I relate. Sometimes, even in recent days, I cant be sure I can argue why it is we should be so steadfast on living. There is no grounds to state what we experience is real. Theres no point in being happy when we all die in the end. There often feels like there is 더 많이 struggle in the daily world than its worth to keep the body functioning. And in the end, when 당신 are bound to die anyways, why bother struggling to live as everyone ends up in the same place anyways?

Personally… I get it. But at the same time as charming that the lure and glow of death can be, theres something about life that just comes around a lot. I wrote a long thing about this two years 이전 for school, but life provides so much to experience if 당신 forced yourself to go and enjoy it no matter how evil and dark the world might look. The world might not be real. Life might call for a lot of struggles and demand a lot to keep it 의해 yourside, but it also opens up a world of experiences that, real 또는 not, are something that cant be so simply undermined. With life, 당신 can see the plants, the animals, bond with others, laugh, cry, inspire, comfort, run, play, sleep, dream…. There is so much that life offers if 당신 are willing to work with it.

And while that is true, I do realize that 당신 dont just wake up one 일 and decide 당신 want to be 프렌즈 with life. 당신 dont wake up one 일 and decide 당신 dont want to die, 또는 that 당신 arent depressed. To be honest, even I, as well put together as I appear, have at least one passive thought of suicide every other day. Sometimes its more. Sometimes it isnt passive, and sometimes it isnt simple ideation. It doesn’t just go away like magic just because 당신 want it to go away. Life is hard like that, and the simplest of things can send one spiraling back no matter how far up they get.

What it is though, what the power and decision that could be made, is the decision to never give in. The decision to trust in the future that things will get better. The decision that no matter what comes your way 또는 how bad 당신 feel, 당신 will hold to yourself and just keep trying to live each 일 의해 whatever means it costs.

The decision to live until the 다음 day, and then do it again every 일 until 당신 get there.

Because honestly, no matter how bad your life is right now. No matter how bad 당신 feel right now, there is plenty that can still come in the future.

I don’t know who is 읽기 this, so saying “there are people who will miss you” honestly isnt necessarily true to everyone. If 당신 are 읽기 this, I can say there are probably people who will miss you, and especially since 당신 are on my club, I will say I probably will miss 당신 at the very least if 당신 were to die. But even for those that dont believe anyone will miss them today, agree with me that 당신 will live and I will promise you, there will definately be people who 사랑 당신 and care for 당신 더 많이 than 당신 can ever imagine. There will be people who will most definitely miss 당신 and be forever thankful that 당신 didn’t take your life back when 당신 were younger.

당신 may never make a huge impact on the world. Your existence might be meaningless in the grand spectrum of the universe. Its true, theres nothing 당신 can do about that, but each single person changes everyone’s world around them. 당신 might not be remembered for all of eternity, but at the very least, everyone who 당신 know and everyone 당신 come in contact with will carry a bit of 당신 on forever. At some point in your life, 당신 might turn to find that your existence has changed someone’s perspective on life and how they’ve lived for all eternity without 당신 even knowing. 또는 perhaps that 일 has yet to come, but the future holds endless possibilities.

Really though, I don’t know exactly where I am going with this… but don’t give up to the struggles that 당신 face today. Suicide is tempting and alluring. It sounds peaceful, and honestly, it probably is. But if 당신 are bound to die in the end anyways, why not try to extend the limited time we have on this world out to take all that it has to offer you. If death is what 당신 want, let it come at its own pace and until then, commit yourself to not giving up and instead having faith in what the world has to offer. The future is vast, and while it can be full of darkness, pain, and suffering, it also offers a world of light, love, and peace as well. Why not enjoy it while the limited trial still stands.