smile.jpg MOUTain dew

(A/N) Still has gayness! cussing! and sex! so enjoy biggums! ^-^ xXx


~Ty's POV~

A week after Alice found out i was gay she invited Jason and I for some coffee.

"We should go, it would be fun" Jason said hugging me from behind.

"Coffee with my sister would be fun?" I asked grabbing his hands perched on my collarbone.

"Yeah, now that she knows, we can be ourselves, and we're pretty fucking awesome people" Jason said letting go and sitting on the couch.

I sat beside him, "Well, we are fucking awesome, fine we'll go."

Jason smiled and kissed my cheek.

I turned and kissed him on his lips.

I pulled away and...

Okay, first thing's first. Determine whether 또는 not 당신 are actually in a horror movie. Let's weigh the factors:

* 당신 are, most likely, a bored teenager with nothing to do.
* 당신 are, most likely, considerably worthless to society.
* 당신 are, most likely, an idiot.
* 당신 have, most likely, attracted the attention of a maniac in the past 24 hours.
* You, for no reason in particular, are looking up hints on how to survive in a horror movie.

-----

The following rules apply universally to nearly all horror movies. Print them out and keep them in your wallet. Glance at them every five 분 또는 so. Memorize...

from the internet :)

1. Vary your vehicle’s speed inversely with the speed limit.

2. Roll down your windows and blast talk radio. Attempt to head bang.

3. At stop lights, eye the person in the 다음 car suspiciously. With a look of fear, lock your doors.

4. Two words: Chicken suit.

5. Write the words "Help me” on your back window in red paint. The 더 많이 it looks like blood, the better.

6. Have conversations, looking periodically at the passenger seat, when driving alone.

7. Laugh a lot. A whole lot.

8. Stop at the green lights.

9. Go at the red ones.

10. Occasionally wave a stuffed animal/troll doll/Barbie...

Man: Where have 당신 been all my life?
Woman: Hiding from you.

Man: Haven't I seen 당신 someplace before?
Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.

Man: Is this 좌석 empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be if 당신 sit down.

Man: Your place 또는 mine?
Woman: Both. 당신 go to yours, and I'll go to mine.

Man: So, what do 당신 do for a living?
Woman: I'm a female impersonator.

Man: 저기요 baby, what's your sign?
Woman: Do not enter.

Man: How do 당신 like your eggs in the morning?
Woman: Unfertilized.

Man: Your body is like a temple.
Woman: Sorry, there are no services today.

Man: I would go to the ends of the world...

The following dumb laws are, 또는 were at some point, actually laws in the United States listed below. Now, before 당신 go any further do know that I'm not a lawyer nor am I claiming any responsibilty if 당신 bail off and do something stupid 또는 try using something here as a defense in court (rofl at that).

Alabama

In Jasper, it is illegal for a husband to beat his wife with a stick larger in diameter than his thumb.
It is illegal to wear a fake mustache that causes laughter in church.
It is illegal for a driver to be blindfolded while operating a vehicle.
It is illegal to play Dominos on Sunday.
Putting...

사랑 and Marriage:

"If falling in 사랑 is anything like learning how to spell, I don't want to do it. It takes too long." -- Glenn, age 7


"Love is like an avalanche where 당신 have to run for your life." -- John, age 9


"I think you're supposed to get shot with an 애로우 또는 something, but the rest of it isn't supposed to be so painful." -- Manuel, age 8


"No one is sure why it happens, but I heard it has something to do with how 당신 smell. That's why perfume and deodorant are so popular." -- Mae, age 9


"Love is the most important thing in the world, but baseball is pretty good too." -- Greg, age 8


"Once...

Just randomly found this:

1. Throw 팝콘 in the air and yell, “It’s snowing!”
2. Go, “Oooooh…” whenever anyone kisses.
3. Clap when the good guy gets killed.
4. During the previews, yell, “Can 당신 fast-forward it?”
5. Whenever the bad guy is doing something devious, say, “Watch out!”
6. Laugh very loudly at all the corny jokes.
7. Tell the man selling 팝콘 that the bathroom is flooding.
8. Yell out what is going to happen.
9. Wear a cape and when its your turn to get 팝콘 yell, “I’m Batman! Hahaha!” and run away.
10. Say that they cannot sit 다음 to 당신 because 당신 invisible...

Mother kept girls locked away from the world for seven years
Three girls who were imprisoned 의해 their mother in a house of indescribable filth for seven years may never recover from the ordeal, experts have said.

The girls were shut away from the outside world, existing in almost complete darkness, playing only with mice and communicating in their own language.

When they were discovered, their 집 in a smart, upper middle-class suburb had no running water and was filled with waste and excrement a metre high. The floor was corroded 의해 mice urine.

The case has stunned Austria, still reeling from...

1. 당신 can do whatever 당신 damn well please.

2. Shave your legs and the razor is never dull from his face.

3. Not only is your razor not dull, who needs to shave at all now?

4. 당신 can leave bra and other unmentionables in view.

5. 당신 can slump around the house in any old thing.

6. 당신 don't having to think about birth control, calendars 또는 ovulation. Mother Nature can visit whenever she likes.

7. 당신 can go out and flirt as much as your 심장 desires, without a worry in the world.

8. The toilet 좌석 issue -- need I say more?

9. Free drinks at bars! Men seem to know when you're single and tend to...

Dress up like one of the photographers and follow people around asking them repeatedly if they would like their picture taken.
Leave large gaps in between 당신 and the people in front of 당신 while waiting in line.
Every time 당신 pass a chain restraint not in use, clip it on and use it to hold back the people behind 당신 in line.
Ask the person running the roller coaster if someone has recently thrown up on it.
Pretend to freak out on a ride so they stop it to let 당신 off.
Offer people money for their spots in line . . . Monopoly money.
Speak in Spanish, 또는 pretend you're deaf and start making rapid...

I am pondering this question, it is a very difficult one to figure out. I can not seem to think of anything to make an 기사 on....

2 Hours Later

Wait I think I have an idea coming on... nope I 로스트 it... wait no I found it again... What if I write an 기사 about reasons why 당신 should do pointe
1. 당신 get to be taller
2. 당신 can use them in self defense
3. 당신 can... what 당신 don't think that's a good idea... oh well back to the drawing board...

1 시간 Later

Ok what about this... What happened when I invested in Eyepatches... hmmm titles to long how about My Eyepatch Investment.... sounds good......

THINK YOU'RE HAVING A BAD DAY. Check out these actual cases:

Fire authorities in California found a corpse in a burned-out section
of forest while assessing the damage done 의해 a forest fire. The deceased
male was dressed in a full wet suit, complete with scuba tanks on his
back, flippers, and face mask.

A postmortem test revealed that the man died not from burns, but from
massive internal injuries. Dental records provided a positive
identification. Investigators then set about to determine how a fully
clothed diver ended up in the middle of a forest fire.

It was revealed that on the 일 of the...

I'm bored, so I thought I'd share with 당신 a few websites online that 당신 can 디자인 characters! 당신 all probably have either created characters, like for fanfictions, stories, 또는 just in your mind, and here are some websites where 당신 can 디자인 their appearance! 또는 당신 could always make yourself and use it as a snazzy avatar/profile pic, 또는 make characters from books/movies/etc. that already exist! There are tons of websites out there, these are just a few.
link
This website is 의해 far the best superhero generator I've found. Basically 당신 use it to make your dream superhero!!! (I use it to...

더 많이 people in history of war have been killed in the name of God (any religion) then any other reason for war
Hellenologophobia - the fear of greek terms
If 당신 sneeze too hard, 당신 can fracture a rib. If 당신 try to suppress a sneeze, 당신 can rupture a blood vessel in your head 또는 neck and die.
Nearly a third of all bottled drinking water purchased in the US is contaminated with bacteria.
Rats multiply so quickly that in 18 months, two rats could have over 1 million descendants.
You are 더 많이 likely to be struck 의해 lightning than to be eaten 의해 a shark.
You are 더 많이 likely to be infected by...

Grammar and spelling issues have been discussed several times and I just thought I would give my opinion on the subject. This 기사 is mostly aimed for those who call themselves "Grammar Nazis", but I would be 더 많이 than glad that everyone else reads it as well, including the "Grammar Nazis" that aren't overly critical. Before I go on, I will point out that my English may not be so good since it is not my first language and I'm not studying it, but I'm trying as hard as I can to improve it every day, so my apologies if anything I've said here isn't understandable.

So having good grammar and...

Things You'll Need:

A handle (1.75 liters, about a half gallon) of 보드카 per bag of Skittles

A large bag of Skittles 캔디 (the "movie size" bag)

Each handle of 보드카 (1.75 liters, about a half gallon) requires a large bag worth of Skittles, so if 당신 plan on doing only one flavor for a flavorful vodka, you'll have to buy 5 large bags of Skittles.

Coffee filter 또는 extremely clean t-shirt
Large funnel 또는 strainer to hold filter

Steps:

1. Separate the 색깔 of Skittles that 당신 want to flavor the 보드카 with. Many people choose to leave out the green, which is 라임 if 당신 are using original Skittles,...

Sad Stories About AIDS


I found these stories online. These are true stories.

I used to know Josephat and his lovely family of a wife, 2 daughters and a son. He used to live in a town 1,000Km from the city. The town is on the Tanzania Zambia border. He used to come to the city many times during the 년 on his pickup 봉고차, 반 but when I did not see him for over a 년 I inquired from his cousin. The cousin informed me that he had a motor accident on the Dar es Salaam Zambia Highway. He died on the spot. That was 6 years ago. I had forgotten about him and family till yesterday when I met his cousin...