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 If Mr. 콩 had a Baby...
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Source: 2sleep.com
A series of 'If Mr. Bean...' pics
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posted by Usui--takumi
Why was Tigger looking in the bowl??
He was trying to find pooh.
There were three men on an airplane, one of them decides to bring a baby.There is a crash and only three parachutes so they leave the baby behind. When they get to the bottom they hear screaming. They find the baby on the ground. The dad of the baby says, '' How did 당신 get down here? ''. The baby replies, '' Me not dumb, me not silly, me hold on to daddy's willy!''
What's black and white, black and white, black and white?
A 펭귄 rolling down a hill.
Yo momma so fat, when she jumps her own boobs slap her.
Yo momma so dumb AND fat,...
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posted by 16falloutboy
Bad Shows on Disney
-------------------
So Random
A.N.T Farm
Good Luck Charlie
Jonas
Lizzie McGuire
The Proud Family
Phil of the Future
Dave the Barbarian
Brandy and Mr. Whiskers
The Buzz on Maggie
The Emperor's New School
Good Luck Charlie
Fish Hooks
Shake It Up
The Replacements
PrankStars
Jessie
Austin & Ally

Bad Shows on Cartoon Network
--------------------------------------
Cow and Chicken
I Am Weasel
The Powerpuff Girls
Ed, Edd n Eddy
Johnny Bravo
The Life and Times of Juniper Lee
Camp Lazlo
My Gym Partner's a Monkey
Class of 3000
The Marvelous Misadventures of Flapjack
The Secret Saturdays
Chower
Adventure Time...
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Liquid Plummer
Warning: Do not reuse the bottle to store beverages.

Windex
Do not spray in eyes.

Toilet Plunger
Caution: Do not use near power lines.

Dremel Electric Rotary Tool
This product not intended for use as a dental drill.

Arm & Hammer Scoopable Cat Litter
Safe to use around pets.


Bowl Fresh
Safe to use around pets and children, although it is not recommended that either be permitted to drink from toilet.

Endust Duster
This product is not defined as flammable 의해 the Consumer Products Safety Commision Regulations. However, this product can be ignited under certain circumstances.

Baby...
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posted by pollydbookworm
*4 Boy friends*
>
> Once upon a time, there was this girl who had four
> boyfriends.
>
> She loved the 4th boyfriend the most and adored him with
> rich robes and
> treated him to the finest of delicacies. She gave him
> nothing but the best.
>
> She also loved the 3rd boyfriend very much and was always
> showing him off
> to neighboring kingdoms. However, she feared that one
> 일 he would leave
> her for another.
>
> She also loved her 2nd boyfriend. He was her confidant and
> was always kind,
> considerate and patient with her. Whenever this girl faced...
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1. Every 일 at school is the same
2. 당신 never know if your braids look digusting 또는 not
3. 당신 are so used to never talking that if somebody says something to you, never know how to react
4. 당신 would like to think that people notice 또는 even think about 당신 but 당신 are really just the big ugly quiet black girl nobody knows 또는 cares about
5. 당신 worry people will write nasty 코멘트 on your 팬팝 기사 that is obvioustly meant to vent your feeling out
6. On the weekend all 당신 do is watch tv and sleep and play with your cat
7. When 당신 only really have like 3 프렌즈 at school and 2 of them...
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posted by xoPixie-Popxo
If you've never laid your eyes on these shows, YOU'RE DOING YOURSELF A FAVOR! Oh and feel free to add your own reasons 의해 commenting below! I may include some of your ideas in this 기사 and I'll make sure to add your username! :D (Oh God I sound like an annoying advertisement.)
(Sorry for the long reasons!)

From Cartoonnetwork:

The Problem Solverz
-Poor animation. It looks like it's been drawn 의해 a 7 년 old's foot with the lights out.
-I cannot understand ANYTHING that they're saying.
-What exactly is that brown guy? A block of poop?
(I would list 더 많이 reasons but I only saw the show for 2 seconds...
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posted by samuraibond005
I find homework to be arrogant and inefficient. Schools think they are so important that they can dictate whether 또는 not the kid can have time after school for other, also important things. yeah, we learned all this in class and some kids didn't get it, but first of all, it is not like nobody else in the class understood it, 초 of all, they won’t get it any better without a teacher to help, and third of all, if they care enough to get anything out of their education anyway, they will ask somebody for help.
Of course, there are classes in which homework makes sense, such as my AP world...
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posted by bubbletl
1. Specify that your drive-thru order is "to go."

2. If 당신 have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.

3. Start each meal 의해 conspicuously licking all your food, and announce that this is so no one will "swipe your grub."

4. Name your dog "Dog."

5. Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "to keep them tuned up."

6. Reply to everything someone says with "that's what 당신 think."

7. Claim that 당신 must always wear a bicycle 헬멧 as part of your "astronaut training."

8. Follow a few paces behind someone, spraying everything...
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posted by evangelinetom
101 Ways to
Annoy Your Roomate

1. Insist that 당신 are a vegetarian and protest anytime your roommate eats meat. Then leave "Slim Jim" wrappers on the floor and lie on the 침대 holding your stomach every time your roommate walks in. If he/she asks about the wrappers, say 당신 know nothing about them.

2. Get some hair. Disperse it around your roommate's head while he/she is asleep. Keep a pair of scissors 의해 your bed. Snicker at your roommate every morning.

3. Every time your roommate walks in yell, "Hooray! You're back!" as loud as 당신 can and dance around the room for five minutes. Afterwards, keep...
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posted by tamar20
1. WRITE EVERYTHING IN CAPS LOCK OVERUSE CAPS LOCK! WHEN 당신 REALLY SHOULD WRITE SOMETHING IN ALL CAPS THOUGH, USE ALL LOWERCASE LETTERS!

2. Don't use any punctuation.

3. Purposely spell things wrong and then get really upset when people don't understand you.

4. Overuse the comma, for example: "today, I, really, had, a, bad, day."

5. Use Sticky Caps Capitalize every other letter.

6. Forget the grammar And when someone asks 당신 what 당신 mean just repeat it the exact same way.

7. Capitalize each word This annoys some people very, very much.

8. Use absolutely no vowels.

9. Answer every thing they say...
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posted by Bananaaddict
This list was emailed to me. I thought some of them were pretty clever, so I decided to post it. My favorites are 3, 5, 22, and 23! Enjoy. :)

1. The fattest knight at King Arthur's round 표, 테이블 was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.

2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.

3. She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.

4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class, because it was a weapon of math disruption.

5. No matter how much 당신 push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.

6. A dog gave birth...
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posted by iluvsmj
"I'm hungry." = I'm hungry.

"I'm sleepy." = I'm sleepy.

"I'm tired." = I'm tired.

"Do 당신 want to go to a movie?" = I'd eventually like to have sex with you.

"Can I take 당신 out to dinner?" = Same as Above

"Can I call 당신 sometime?" = Same as Above

"Nice dress!" = Nice cleavage!

"You look tense, let me give 당신 a massage." = I want to feel your bare skin

"What's wrong?" = I don't see why 당신 are making such a big deal out of this.

"What's wrong?" = What meaningless self-inflicted psychological trauma are 당신 going through now?

"I 사랑 you, too." = Okay, I said it...we'd better have sex now!

"Yes, I...
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I was scrolling across deviantART, and came across this HIGHLY shocking news that everyone needs to know about right now!

We all know about copyright infringement and the numerous laws preventing us from using copyrighted material. Some sites and companies take these things very seriously if 당신 do not have permission from said company. But there are sites and companies that's only ask that 당신 give credit where credit is due. Thankfully like DA.

Now, over the past few days I have just been strolling thru the Internet, visiting some of my fav sites to chill on, and every site has been posting...
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posted by ilovetech29
1."My son is under a doctor's care and should not take P.E. today. Please execute him."
2."Please excuse Lisa for being absent. She was sick, and I had her shot."
3."Dear School: Please ekscuse John being absent on Jan. 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, and also 33."
4."Please excuse Gloria from Jim today. She is administrating."
5."Please excuse Roland from P.E. for a few days. Yesterday he fell out of a 나무, 트리 and misplaced his hip."
6."John has been absent because he had two teeth taken out of his face."
7."Carlos was absent yesterday because he was playing football. He was hurt in the growing part."
8."Megan...
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posted by karpach_14
My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
Rodney Dangerfield

When a man brings his wife 꽃 for no reason, there's a reason.
Molly McGee

Always get married early in the morning. That way, if it doesn't work out, 당신 haven't wasted a whole day.
Mickey Rooney

In olden times, sacrifices were made at the altar, a practice that still continues.
Helen Rowland

Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends. 당신 order what 당신 want, then when 당신 see what the other fellow has, 당신 wish 당신 had ordered that.
Unknown

I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain and bought jewelry.
Rita Rudner
posted by lloonny
1. Chuck Norris does not wear a condom. Because there is no such thing as protection from Chuck Norris.
2. Some people wear 슈퍼맨 pajamas. 슈퍼맨 wears Chuck Norris pajamas
3. Chuck Norris will never have a 심장 attack. His 심장 isn't nearly foolish enough to attack him.
4. If at first 당신 don't succeed, you're not Chuck Norris.
5. Chuck Norris can set ants on 불, 화재 with a magnifying glass. At night.
6. Chuck Norris doesn't breathe, he holds air hostage.
7. Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
8. They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but it wouldn't take shit from anybody.
9....
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posted by x-menobsessed26
Useful Hawaiian Phrases
On the Plane
My how your perfume fills the entire cabin!
'A'ala maoli keia wahi o kakou i kau wai 'ala kuikawa!


If I snore, I would like to apologize in advance
Ke nono au, e kala mua mai, i keia manawa ho'i.


I am filled with admiration for my in-flight meal
Kahaha ko'u na'au i ke 'ano o ka mea 'ai ma keia mokulele.


Only six dollars for a headset? Why thats only three dollars per ear!
Eono kala no ka ho'olohe lekio? 'O ia ho'i, 'ekolu wale no kala o kahi pepeiao!


Baby, Severe Turbulance is my middle name
E ku'u kumu e, mai hopohopo, ua kapa 'ia ko'u inoa waena, 'o ia 'o Severe...
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posted by BlackSunshine
Something I got in an e-mail. Still pretty funny. Especially since I've done a few...

1. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, and then act embarrassed when they open 의해 themselves.

2. Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask them to call 당신 Admiral.

3. On the highest floor, hold the door open and demand that it stay open until 당신 hear the penny 당신 dropped down the shaft go "plink" at the bottom.

4. Do Tai Chi exercises.

5. Stare, grinning, at another passenger for a while, and then announce: "I've got new socks on!"

6. Meow occasionally....
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posted by happyfreak
A friend of mine has another friend that is addicted to meth. She found this and gave it to her friend. She then gave me a copy because she said it was sad and cared enough to let me know what meth is and does.

This poem was written 의해 a young Indiana girl who was in jail for drug charges, and was addicted to Meth. She wrote this while in jail. As 당신 will soon read, she fully grasped the horrors of the drug, as she tells in this simple, yet profound poem. She was released from jail, but, true to her story, the drug owned her. They found her dead not long after, with the needle still in her...
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posted by TruBerries
**Before I begin, I would like to say that I'm 글쓰기 this out of experience so y'all don't be thinking that I'm guessing, putting other people down who did 또는 are doing this, 또는 that I'm being absolutely rude about it, which I'm not.**

In everyone's life, we all want someone that we want to have, hold, and 사랑 and never having that feeling of ever being alone for the rest of our lives. We all know that it takes time and patience, but the thing about it is that there's people out there that jump head first into generating a relationship out of thin air with someone he/she has just met online....
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