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posted by ilovepenguins
7
Things to do in a Public Restroom

1.Comment "Pooh, who did that?"
2.Complement people on their shoes.
3.Introduce yourself to the person in the 다음 stall. Strike up a conversation.
4.Provide 'strenuous' sound-effects.
5.Ask the person in the 다음 stall if there's anything swimming in their bowl.....
6.Discuss the pros and cons of laxatives.
7.Scream " Oh my GOD! What the hell is THAT?"
8.Simulate a drug deal.
9.Pretend to fall in (with appropriate sound effects).
10.Roll Easter Eggs under the doors.
11.Start a sing-a-long.
12.Act schizophrenically.
13.Knock on the doors of occupied stalls and ask if there...
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posted by Jeffersonian
1
These are purported to be actual test 답변 from various schools in the Huntsville, Alabama metropolitan area.

Q: Name the four seasons.
A: Salt, pepper, mustard, and vinegar.

Q: Explain one of the processes 의해 which water can be made 안전한, 안전 to drink.
A: Flirtation makes water 안전한, 안전 to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep, and canoeists.

Q: How is dew formed?
A: The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.

Q: What is a planet?
A: A body of earth surrounded 의해 sky.

SOCIOLOGY
Q: What guarantees may a mortgage company insist on?
A: If 당신 are buying a house,...
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posted by Dippicus
2
Rhode Island is the smallest state with the longest name. The official name, used on all state documents, is "Rhode Island and Providence Plantations."

When 당신 die your hair still grows for a couple of months.

There are two credit cards for every person in the United States.

Isaac Asimov is the only author to have a book in every Dewey-decimal category.

The newspaper serving Frostbite Falls, Minnesota, the 집 of Rocky and Bullwinkle, is the Picayune Intellegence.

It would take 11 Empire State Buildings, stacked one on 상단, 맨 위로 of the other, to measure the Gulf of Mexico at its deepest point....
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posted by Lola90210
5
GOD HATES ME

Chapter 1

        God Hates Me.
-ate some fries.
-Went to bed.

Chapter 2

        I am in a better mood today because I did my prayers and God spoke to me and he promised to put me in a group with my friends.
God Loves Me.

Chapter 3

        God must die! He is being so unreasonable!!! I asked him to put me in a group with my 프렌즈 but does he listen??! No! God is a bitch!
-I'm an 이모 from now on
-Went to bed

Chapter 4

        God...
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Specify that this order is "To Go".
Drive through the drive in backwards and let your rear 좌석 passenger make the order.
At midnight, ask if 당신 are too early for Breakfast.
When ordering, start talking about the problems 당신 were having with your car. Ask if somebody can take a look at it.
Pay for a large order in pennies and nickels unwrapped.
Laugh loudly when asked if 당신 would like fries with your order.
Demand to speak to the manager. When he comes on, complain that 당신 did not like the way the employee said "Would 당신 like fries with your order?"
When asked if they can take your order,...
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posted by twilight_23
2
One of my teachers gave everyone in my class a "personal yearbook" it just has a bunch of pages that 당신 can fill our about this school year. Here's one of them:

When I look back on this year, I will always remember...

crazy times at Giant Eagle with Oliva((Team_Edward77)) and Tae-Tae. LMC. Fanpop!!!! My nicknames-Mae-Mae, Megan-Wa, Freckles, and Chelsea. The Twilight Saga. Listening to Taylor 빠른, 스위프트 songs a million times in one night. Being a vegitarian for Lent. Confirmation. Bubulubus&&German 옥수수 Cookies. Baby Mama-you a queer woman?! 8 days and 24 hours. &&Beauty and the Nerd ((see the spot for Beauty and the Beast for the script)).

*Sorry if 당신 don't get any of this, it was mainly written for my 프렌즈 on Fanpop(:

Team_Edward77
Fearlessx3
BoguslyBubbly7
^
look them up, they're ah-mazing(:
posted by grasshopper101
3
Okay so one 일 my mom was 집 alone and she walked into the house and there was a 다람쥐 sitting on the couch. My mom started screaming and the 다람쥐 started flying all over the house!! She stood on the back of the 침상, 소파 and the 다람쥐 flew all around her and she was like so scared!!! She called my dad and told him to come 집 so he did and then when he walked in the door he got my remote car and it finally flew out the door!!!!!!!!!!!!! LOL!!! She was scared every night to go to sleep for like 8 weeks cause she thought the 다람쥐 was in her bed!!!
No, I seriously hate it whenever I hear kids talk about 디즈니 and celebrities, they say crap like "OMG Justin Bieber is awesome!" "The Jonas Brothers are having a new movie!" "Have 당신 watched Shake it up? It's the best thing 디즈니 has made!"
It sickens me that parents allow their kids to watch & listen to the mediocre shit 디즈니 Channel produces now rather than to have them watch & listen to some REAL 디즈니 & music. Even the trash 영화 like Prom, John Carter, Mars Needs Moms, and some of the 디즈니 direct-to-video sequels are better than the crap 디즈니 Channel has to offer....
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Tuvalu
Age - 18
Gender - female
프렌즈 - Palau, Fiji, Nauru (me), Marshall Islands
Personality - bossy
Her 랜덤 symbol - †



Palau
Age - 19
Gender - Female
프렌즈 - Tuvalu, Australia NZ, Nauru (sister)
Personality - nice
Her 랜덤 symbol - ♦

Nauru (me)
Age - 30's
Gender - Female
프렌즈 - EVERYONE!!
Personality - creepy
Her 랜덤 Symbol - ♣


NZ
Age - secret
Gender - male
프렌즈 - Australia, Kiribati (younger sister), Cook Islands
Personality - VERY NICE
His 랜덤 Symbol - ‡


Tonga (Tonga66, the only user I know 더 많이 than 당신 all because she is my sister)
Age - 24
Gender - female
프렌즈 - EVRYONE
Personality - SUPER FRIENDLY
Her 랜덤 sister - ♥



I KNOW I LEFT SOME BUT DONT GET MAD AT ME, AND NO IM NOT ADDING ANYMORE COUNTRIES
Bye
posted by TheFan2000
5:45 AM- Wake up, whine to parents about a terrible headache
6:00 AM- Discover that temperature is 99 degrees, go back to sleep
6:45 AM- Wake up again suffering a severe bout of chills and feeling extremely groggy
7:00 AM- Eat breakfast, make final decision to stay 집 from school
7:30 AM- Suffer another episode of chills and go up to bedroom
7:35 AM- Take a morning nap before chills get worse
7:45 AM- Become extremely cold, get another headache, crank up the heated blanket to the highest it'll go
8:00 AM- Violently yank off heated blanket and turn down heat after waking up sweating
9:00 AM- Wake...
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posted by Sandfire_Paiger
60 질문 People Dont Ask Survey from Quizopolis.com

When's the last time 당신 ran? - Today in th hallways at school.
Do your jeans have rips, tears, and holes in them? - Nope.
What are 당신 dreading right now? - Carrying Crush cans 집 tomorrow.
Do 당신 celebrate 420? - Celebrate what?
Do 당신 get the full 8 hours of sleep a night? - Nope.
If anyone came to your house on your "lazy days" what would ya'll do? - Depends. Who is it and what do they want?
Who last grabbed your ass? - Nobody.
Have 당신 ever been on your school's track team? - Nope.
Do 당신 own a pair of Converse? - Yep.
Did 당신 copy and paste...
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posted by trentgwenfan1
22
1st step what is the montth of your brith 일
1/ 1 meet
2/ i hurt
3/ i wached
4/ i eat
5/ i smaked
6/ i married
7/ i fainted
8/ i got mad
9/ i ran
10/ i broke
11/ i drove
12/ i went to a party



step 2 the 일 of your brith
1 a fat guy
2 a goth girl
3 a musition
4 a dumb person
5 a person that dance very stupidely
6 a mean brat
7 a a hot guy
8 justin beber
9 hannah montana
10 peter gifin
11 a loser
12 prestdent oboma
13 will drinking soda
14 myslef
15 당신
16 a old man
17 will boxing
18 a wii
19 a maniac
20 a mime
21 Facebook
22 a 플라밍고
23 a grave
24 michel oboma
25 a haertbreaker
26 a warewolf...
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Make your own sentence (be honest though);

Step 1: Choose your 월 of birth...

January: I hate...
February: I ran naked with...
March: I need...
April: I shot...
May: I smoked weed with...
June: I killed...
July: I pissed on...
August: I fucked...
September: I got married with...
October: I stabbed...
November: I gave a blowjob to...
December: I took a crap on...

Step 2: Choose your birthday;

1: A monkey...
2: A prostitute...
3: A vacuum cleaner...
4: You...
5: Barney the dinosaur...
6: A dog...
7: Santa Clause...
8: A travesty...
9: A porn star...
10: A condom...
11: A bowl of cereal...
12: A jew...
13: A lesbian......
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posted by Tayloraddict-1
26
On tons of clubs i see a 질문 saying "Can 당신 plz be a 팬 of me?" Its was ok at first then i just saw it everywhere and i thought it was just getting annoying.All I see on 랜덤 is Can 당신 plz be my fan? Just filling up my 업데이트 더 많이 and 더 많이 everyday.
Ive seen people with 200 또는 더 많이 팬 asking Can u 팬 me plz i really need some 더 많이 fans. Like this is not a competition to see who will get the 더 많이 팬 its just life XD And 당신 gotta earn your 팬 because i had to earn my 팬 and look at me now i have over 600 fans. I earned all of em.
Its not fair to us other fanpoppers who werked...
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In the weekend’s least shocking development, Miley Cyrus and Katy Perry locked lips. Crazy, right?! (And 의해 crazy, I mean not crazy at all.)
Cyrus was 노래 the Bangerz ballad “Adore You” at an L.A. 음악회, 콘서트 when she climbed off the stage and summoned Perry, who was in the front row, to come lean in for a quick peck. Cyrus then backed up and squealed like she was surprised 의해 her own mischief, which, okay, was pretty adorable. And the whole thing was caught on video, because of course it was. But really, did everyone forget that Perry’s first hit was called “I Kissed a Girl“?

GET 더 많이 EW: Subscribe to the magazine for only 33¢ an issue!
Perry 게시됨 an after-shot of the 키스 on her Twitter with the caption, “I adore 당신 @MileyCyrus.” No regrets, just love.
posted by alismouha
10
"We need" means "I want"

"It's your decision" means "The correct decision should be obvious 의해 now"

"Do what 당신 want "means" You'll pay for this later

"We need to talk" means "I need to complain


"Sure...go ahead" means"I don't want 당신 to.

"I'm not upset"means "Of course I'm upset, 당신 moron."

"You're...so manly "means" 당신 need a shave and 당신 sweat a lot."

"You're certainly attentive tonight." means     "Is sex all 당신 ever think about?"

"I'm not emotional! And I'm not overreacting!" means     "I'm on my period."

"Be romantic, turn out the lights" means     "I...
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posted by Alexyss_Cullen
11
 Alice
Alice
my first Fanfic!~ummm...i suck at this stuff if u want to know how badly then read it
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Alice are 당신 sure Jack's gonna show" Greg asked
" YES of course why wouldnt he" I said quickly in excitment...
" Well i dont why he wouldnt but it's pourin outside and he if dont show you'll have to walk 집 in the freezing rain because i'll be gone and i dont want that " he said sounding quite mad u could hear it in his voice..
" Ok ok" I said " Why dont 당신 leave me here with the car and 당신 walk home"
I giggled and he looked at and me then & said
" Yea...
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posted by GDragon612
2
1) Prove a teacher wrong.
2) If in school in a test: if your teacher walks 의해 cover up your test and glare suspiciously at them.
3) Get caught passing a note that says the teacher is great! See what happens.
4) When ever there's a sub teacher, change your accent.
5) Annoy your teacher 의해 pretending to text under your 책상, 데스크 while type numbers on your calculator.
6) Stare at your teacher and smile at them creepily.
7) Stare at your teacher.
8) Once your teacher has told 당신 what your homework is, jump up on your 책상, 데스크 and yell, "Objection!".
9) Come late to school and when the teacher asks why say your...
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posted by PeacefulCritic
2
I was thinking about doing the "giant 거미 invasion." But being resist to the Gnomes were pretty bad. Let's just start the episode.*turns on Netflix*

The theme: of course it isn't bad at the same time it isn't that good. At some points it's catchy at others the lyrics gets a little too cliche.

Short video: And it's about how there is only one gnome with a pure heart. And they are resist about any of the others that aren't pixies so of course stead of making a fairy has a past problem with the gnomes. And their greed getting in the way of their broke kingdom and wanting revenge. That'll be...
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당신 think your 프렌즈 in 사랑 but your not sure heres how to tell
1.If its a boy he does stuff to get her attention(burp,fart,ect.)
2.For girls she acts strangely in front of her crush
3.She talks about him for an annoyingly long time.
4. He annoys and bullies his crush
5.He 또는 she acts strangely
6.He sends a 사랑 letter
7.Set up a 날짜 and send a friend to spy.
8.Tease your friend about his 또는 her crush.
9.Ask your friend to bring a special girl 또는 boy if talking to a girl.
10.Play Truth 또는 Dare and hope he 또는 she picks truth.