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Article by MsPropHouse posted over a year ago
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1 Beg your mom and dad to buy 당신 something

2 Sing a song from your 가장 좋아하는 artist (If 당신 like the movie 레몬 에이드, 레모네이드 Mouth sing songs from them too)

3 Push a shopping 카트 into the check out lines

4 Throw items in your shopping 카트 that 당신 don't need

5 Talk really loud so everyone can hear you

6 Walk behind your parents and act like 당신 don't know them

7 Go up to 랜덤 people and say "Hi"

8 Babble like an idiot

9 Say your 가장 좋아하는 show's title's name

10 Talk about your 가장 좋아하는 TV show idol 또는 singer
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Article by Thecharliejay posted over a year ago
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100 Ways to Annoy People
1.Get to know a 프렌즈 bookie and place bets for them. Insist on keeping half of any money they win.
2.Accuse people of "glue sniffing addictions" in public.
3.Call other people "Champ" 또는 "Tiger.". Refer to yourself as "Coach."
4.Drum on every available surface.
5.Sing the 배트맨 theme incessantly.
6.Staple papers together in the middle of the page.
7.Ask 1-800 operators for dates.
8.Produce a rental video consisting entirely of dire FBI copy warnings.
9.Sew anti-theft detector strips into people's backpacks.
10.Hide dairy products in inaccessible places.
11.Insist on giving weather forecasts in public. Claim to be AMS certified.
12.Surprise old friend's 의해 visiting them at 3AM "to discuss old times".
13.Insist on buying airplane tickets for 프렌즈 to "save them money." Make sure the plane departs at 5AM and the tickets are non-refundable. Point out that 당신 didn't really save them any money.
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List by galou_2010 posted over a year ago
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found it on the internet... hope ya like it!


1. Insist that 당신 are a vegetarian and protest anytime your roommate eats meat. Then leave "Slim Jim" wrappers on the floor and lie on the 침대 holding your stomach every time your roommate walks in. If he/she asks about the wrappers, say 당신 know nothing about them.

2. Get some hair. Disperse it around your roommate's head while he/she is asleep. Keep a pair of scissors 의해 your bed. Snicker at your roommate every morning.

3. Every time your roommate walks in yell, "Hooray! You're back!" as loud as 당신 can and dance around the room for five minutes. Afterwards, keep looking at your watch and saying, "Shouldn't 당신 be going now?"

4. Trash the room when your roommate's not around. Then leave and wait for him/her to come home.then act surprised. Say, "Uh-oh, it looks like, they, were here again."

5. Every time 당신 see your roommate yell, "You jerk" and kick him/her in the stomach. Then immediately buy him/her some ice cream.
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Article by KateKicksAss posted over a year ago
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This is a bunch of the funnies FML's I've found on FML lately.
Credit: link



"Today, I went to the 영화 with my boyfriend. As we got to the ticket booth, a couple of girls queued behind us. My boyfriend graciously introduced me as his little sister, and invited the girls to 가입하기 us. We've been together for two years. FML"


"Today, I found out that my dad makes me wear dresses and skirts not because I look pretty in them, but because he was sick and tired of people asking him if I was a boy 또는 a girl. FML"

"Today, I was swimming at the water park, when out of nowhere a lifeguard bombed into the pool, grabbed me, and hauled me to the surface, running his hands over my chest in the process. Apparently, the way I swim makes it look like I'm in my drowning death throes. FML"


"Today, I snuck up on my girlfriend to give her a kiss. Only after I planted a big one did I realize it was not my girlfriend, 또는 even a girl for that matter. FML"
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Opinion by Hot_n_cold posted over a year ago
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Nosebleed (noun) - When your boogers get their period.

Unicorn (noun) - When a narwhal and a horse 사랑 each other very much...

My hand (noun) - A dolphin.

Lent (noun) - A 초 chance to fail at your New Year's resolution.

Imagination (noun) - The ability to turn anything into a rocketship; usually 로스트 at puberty.

모기 (noun) - Mother Nature's way of getting 당신 to slap yourself.

Just kidding (phrase) - A phrase used to get away with something 당신 said and fully meant.

Etc. (adverb) - Used to make others believe that 당신 know 더 많이 than 당신 actually do.

Cleaning your room (verb) - Shoving everything into the closet and hoping it ends up in Narnia.

Because I said so (phrase) - What parents say when they know that they've 로스트 the argument.

Studying (verb) - Student and dying put together.

High School (noun) - Where self-esteem, innocence, and dreams go to die.
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List by Hot_n_cold posted over a year ago
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ALL CREDIT GOES TO ----> link


The Game (noun) - Something 당신 just lost.

Science Fair (noun) - A time for parents to show how talented they are.

Laughter (noun) - When a smile has an orgasm.

Irony (adjective) - The opposite of wrinkly.

Period (noun) - Monthly congratulations for having 안전한, 안전 sex.

Single (adjective) - A man who makes jokes about women in the kitchen.

Study (verb) - The act of texting, eating and watching TV with an open textbook nearby.

Politics (noun) - 'Poli': latin for "many." 'Tics': blood sucking insects.

구글 Translate (proper noun) - The only reason 당신 passed your French class.

Tomorrow (noun) - The best time to do everything 당신 had planned for today.


Teacher (noun) - A person who helps 당신 solve problems you'd never have without them.

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Opinion by MusicLover427 posted over a year ago
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Hello Fanpopers :) this is my crazy dream i had recently.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`
Ok, so me and my close 프렌즈 were at school and it was like midnight.We totally forgot why we where there, when the lights went out and we heard a scream. The lights suddenly came back on and there was blood and a note left on the table. We couldn't understand the note, so we ran away, trying not to make noise. Soon, my 3 other 프렌즈 were captured and killed 의해 this phantom. Me and my close friend Chloe were running 의해 the recess area, where there was a gate that led outside to the highway. We decided to jump the gate when the phantom (who looked a lot like the scream) came and grabbed me.
ME: AHHHHH!!! CHLOE RUN WITHOUT ME!!
CHLOE: NO! I'M NOT LEAVING YOU!!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
This dream was SOOOO creepy and seemed really realistic, i think it would make a great horror movie :)
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Article by nomblahnom posted over a year ago
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As I stare listlessly into the mirror, the fuzzy image that gazes back at me is someone I barely recognize. But I do. They say prison causes profound changes in a man, and the most extraordinary stem from the most incredible circumstances. That man in the mirror has undergone an unimaginable plethora of alterations because he is the absolute worst thing one can be in prison: an innocent man.

I detect the bitterness in his hazel eyes, the constant worry that wrinkles his forehead, the anxiety that sets his jaw like cement and the frustration that has lightened his hair from brown to salty beige. But still, occasionally, I notice the soft smile of that gracious man I used to know, the kindness in his eyes and the youthful, even naive, wonder underlying his visage.

I witness as he struggles for control over his flagging emotions; his quiet humbleness as he is degraded 의해 those who believe that, 의해 mere coincidence of fallaciously bestowed power, they are superior in some way; the way he continues to strive for good, despite the oppression surrounding him; how he never puts himself before others; and he helps whoever he can. The man in the mirror is...
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Opinion by Cantwait4book5 posted over a year ago
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Why Can't I Own a Canadian?

October 2002

Dr. Laura Schlessinger is a radio personality who dispenses 조언 to people who call in to her radio show. Recently, she said that, as an observant Orthodox Jew, homosexuality is an abomination according to Leviticus 18:22 and cannot be condoned under any circumstance. The following is an open letter to Dr. Laura penned 의해 a east coast resident, which was 게시됨 on the Internet. It's funny, as well as informative:

Dear Dr. Laura:

Thank 당신 for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. I have learned a great deal from your show, and try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination. End of debate. I do need some 조언 from you, however, regarding some of the other specific laws and how to follow them:

When I burn a 황소, 불 on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord - Lev.1:9. The problem is my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?
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Opinion by 55xxx55 posted over a year ago
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Yo, so Imma put 질문 on here about 페이스북 I'm really curious about. Hopefully I'll be able to get some answers....


- Why must parents like every single picture 당신 put up?!

- Why do some people 'like' EVERY. SINGLE. COMMENT. someone puts on their status. When the 코멘트 isn't even special, it's just like "hello." 또는 something. 또는 picture, whatever they posted.... Like this: *they post pic of self* My comment: Woah it's you. *they like comment* Um... okay...

- WHY DON'T THEY STOP DICKING WITH EVERYTHING AND GIVE US A DISLIKE BUTTON INSTEAD OF FUCKING UP EVERYTHING THAT WAS PERFECT ALREADY?!

- Why do people use 해시시, 해시 태그 on their statuses? It's not twitter, it won't tag anything. it's like this "#bored" wtf is the point of it?!

- Why is it so damn ADDICTING yet so BORING at the same time??

- Why can some 인기 but ugly people get a gazillion likes on a fugly pic of themselves but hot yet unpopular people never get on??
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Article by mitchie19 posted over a year ago
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I'm bored, so I asked this 질문 myself. Okay, here we go. Just wanna express myself.

For me, 사랑 makes the world go around. I don't know what that means but, it does. A lot of people say it. Wherever 당신 go, whatever place you've been, there's always love.
It's also not just feelings but emotions. Your emotions draws 당신 to that person, and sometimes we hope that that person likes us back too right?

Sometimes, 사랑 is hard. We always want love. I don't know why a lot of people want 사랑 so much. When I see a couple somewhere, I get jealous. I tell myself: "I want that too."
To be honest, I haven't had a boyfriend yet and I want 사랑 so much. I want to experience what other people do, especially when their with their boyfriends'. I'm not talking about lust 또는 sex.
I want to feel how is it to feel like the luckiest girl in the world. Because, when you're around that guy/girl, 당신 can do anything 당신 want.. he'll accept for who 당신 are. You'll feel special around that person. When I'm down, I want someone to tell me: "Babe, it's okay. I'm here." Then he'll 덮개, 랩 me around his arms and feel safe.
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Opinion by percylover19 posted over a year ago
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Percylover19 3

(this whole story is in Kerry's POV)
Chapter 1
     I picked up the phone and called Sam. Sam has been my best friend since third grade. He has dirty blond hair and brown eyes. He also lives right up my street. "Hello?" he answered.
     "Hey it's me, Kerry. Has the new kids moved in yet?"
     "I have seen the moving 봉고차, 반 a couple of times but no sign of our new neighbors."
     "I really hope one of them is a girl. No offense but I really want somebody I can talk to about girly stuff, that's not my mom."
     "None taken. I don't want to know about your girl troubles anyways. Wait I see a car pulling into the drive way."
     "You do? Do 당신 see any girls 또는 is there any kids at all?"
     "Uhh… Kerry 당신 are not going to like this."
     "What?"
     "There's four boys."
     "Your kidding me. There can't be. That's not possible. How old our they?"
     "One of them looks a little bit older than us. Another one looks a little bit younger. One of them looks like Parker's age. And one of them looks a little bit younger than Parker."
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Article by Alexyss_Cullen posted over a year ago
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Start at 1 then listen to what it tells 당신 to do and go to that number 또는 당신 wont get it..

1. Good your ready to hear it...Go to 6

2. Sorry but I bet 당신 REALLY want to hear this!...Go to 5

3. 당신 have really good patients. Oh sorry the link
Sooo.. HI

[u]4. Just another precaution...[i]Go to 7

5. Ok I just wanna make sure 당신 really want to know this...Go to 9

6. Just kidding im STILL making sure...Go to 10

7. 당신 must be getting mad but it's soooo worth it...Go to 2

8. 당신 must be mad 의해 now so hear it is...Go to 3

9. Still making sure...Go to 8

10. Wow I cant believe 당신 want to hear this that bad so..Go to 4

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List by karpach_14 posted over a year ago
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1. Guys hate sluts.

2. "Hey, are 당신 busy?" 또는 "Are 당신 doing something?" ~ two phrases guys open with to stop from stammering on the phone.

3. Guys may be flirting around all 일 but before they go to sleep, they always think about the girl they truly care about.

4. Before they call, guys try to plan out a little about what they're gonna say so there aren't awkward pauses, but once he's on the phone he forgets it all and makes it up as he goes.

5. Guys go crazy over a girl's smile.

6. Guys will do anything just to get 당신 to notice him.

7. Guys hate it when 당신 talk about your ex-boyfriend 또는 ex love-interest. Unless they're goin for the let-her-complain-to-you-and-then-have-her-realize-
how-wonderful-and-nice-you-are method.

8. A guy who likes 당신 wants to be the only guy 당신 talk to.

9. Boyfriends need to be reassured often that they're still loved.

10. Don't talk about your guy 프렌즈 to your boyfriend.
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List by karpach_14 posted over a year ago
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My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
Rodney Dangerfield

When a man brings his wife 꽃 for no reason, there's a reason.
Molly McGee

Always get married early in the morning. That way, if it doesn't work out, 당신 haven't wasted a whole day.
Mickey Rooney

In olden times, sacrifices were made at the altar, a practice that still continues.
Helen Rowland

Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends. 당신 order what 당신 want, then when 당신 see what the other fellow has, 당신 wish 당신 had ordered that.
Unknown

I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain and bought jewelry.
Rita Rudner

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Guide by KateKicksAss posted over a year ago
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Credit: link

How do 당신 know people don't like your friend? Oh, I don't know, how about the fact that...

1. Your mom can never remember your friend's name. She even guesses. "Oh, is your friend... uh... Tasha coming over?" Your friend's name is not Tasha. It's Kate.

2. Your Dad always seems to disappear when Kate comes over. "Well, I should go paint the 차고 door now." "Now?" "Yep, no time to waste. Just have to pick up a Kate of paint... I mean, a can of paint from the store."

3. Your little brother rolls his eyes at her name. "Kate's coming over? Does she have to?"

4. Your mom defends Kate to your little brother—halfheartedly. "Now, now, Kate is a perfectly... unique person."

5. Your brother continues to whine: "But she's so weird. And I think she 스톨, 훔친 the TV remote."

6. The only 일 Uncle Greg doesn't stop 의해 is when Kate is over.
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Article by Schnusch posted over a year ago
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Just 읽기 some of the 터미네이터 인용구 through again... and actually found a hint on what happened between Arnold and the maid. Enjoy my version!


Maid: Nice night for a walk, eh?
Arnold Schwarzenegger: Nice night for a walk.
Maid #2: Wash 일 tomorrow? Nothing clean, right?
Arnold Schwarzenegger: Nothing clean. Right.
Maid: Hey, I think this guy's a couple cans short of a six-pack.
Arnold Schwarzenegger: Your clothes... give them to me, now.
Maid: Fuck you, asshole!
Arnold nods.


I know there are a lot of people making fun of Arnold Schwarzenegger since he admitted to his wife that he's not only a cheater but a liar as well. 당신 might get annoyed 의해 it and think "Oh poor Arnie". But honestly? This guy just ASKED for it. It takes a big jerk to have a child with another woman, an even bigger one to keep it a secret for 14 years and the biggest one to only reveal it to his wife after he quit his job so there'd be no damage to his position.
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List by karpach_14 posted over a year ago
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A single drop of sweat from Chuck Norris was found to quench the thirst of an entire african village for 23 straight days. Subsequently, an olympic athlete from that village was disqualified from his event for testing positive for performance enhancing drugs.

Chuck Norris can read lady Gaga's poker face.

Chuck Norris says the alphabet faster backwards then 당신 can say it fowards.

When Chuck Norris goes to sleep, he doesn't dream he lives it.

In an alternate universe, Chuck Norris is just a myth. However, he pwns people there anyways.

When Chuck Norris drinks beer, the 맥주 gets drunk.

Ninjas want to grow up to be just like Chuck Norris, but usually they grow up to be killed 의해 Chuck Norris.

If 당신 type Chuch Norris in your GPS, It'll lead 당신 to a roundhouse kick to the face!

When Chuck was in middle school, his English teacher assigned an essay: "What is courage?" Chuck received an A+ for turning in a blank page with only his name at the top.
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Opinion by chattycandy posted over a year ago
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1.Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green and insist to others that 당신 "like it that way."

2.Sing the 배트맨 theme incessantly.

3.Drum on every available surface.

4.Staple papers in the middle of the page.

5.Ask 800 operators for dates.

6.Specify that your drive-through order is "to-go."

7.Set alarms for 랜덤 times.

8.Learn Morse code and have conversations with your 프렌즈 in public consisting entirely of "Beeeeep Beep, Beep Beeeeep Beep...."

9.Leave your Nine Inch Nails tape in Uncle Bob's stereo with the volume properly adjusted.

10.Honk and wave to strangers.

11.Dress only in clothes colored Hunter's Orange.

12.Change channels five 분 before the end of every show.

13.Tape pieces of "Sweating to the Oldies" over climactic parts of rental movies.

14.Decline to be seated at a restaurant and simply eat their complimentary mints 의해 the cash register.
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Opinion by chattycandy posted over a year ago
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"I'm going fishing."
Really means... "I'm going to drink myself dangerously stupid, and stand 의해 a stream with a stick in my hand, while the 물고기 swim 의해 in complete safety."
"It's a guy thing."
Really means... "There is no rational thought pattern connected with it, and 당신 have no chance at all of making it logical."

"Can I help with dinner?"
Really means... "Why isn't it already on the table?"

"Uh huh," "Sure, honey," 또는 "Yes, dear."
Really means... Absolutely nothing. It's a conditioned response.

"It would take too long to explain."
Really means... "I have no idea how it works."

"We're going to be late."
Really means... "Now I have a legitimate excuse to drive like a maniac."

"I was listening to you. It's just that I have things on my mind."
Really means... "I was wondering if that redhead over there is wearing a bra."

"Take a break, honey, you're working too hard."
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Opinion by Thecharliejay posted over a year ago
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Make Him Addicted To YouSay These “Secret” Words To Make Him Fall Madly In 사랑 With You
HaveTheRelationshipYouWant.com/Love
Ask around, 또는 if you're shy, ask a good friend to help (find out if he likes you, 또는 is dropping hints).If 당신 catch him staring at you, look at him in the eyes and try to hold contact for a few seconds. If he keeps contact, 당신 know he likes 당신 back. If he turns away, it could mean he likes 당신 and is shy. (Alternatively, it could mean your 셔츠 tag is hanging out - beware, as there are multiple reasons people stare at each other.)If a guy likes you, he tends to go out of his way to be with you. (This is not always true, but often a good indicator.)When he's talking to you, twirl your hair as 당신 listen. This action is natural enough for most people not to make anything of it, but if he says something about it, then he's definitely paying attention to 당신 and probably likes you.Get to know him fairly well if 당신 determine that 당신 want to tell him. Don't call and text constantly, but try to make friends. Get some information on a few of his hobbies; it will give 당신 two something to talk about and connect on.2If you're ready to tell him,...
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Opinion by ilovetech29 posted over a year ago
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just got this while browsing the net

1.I was kidnapped 의해 terrorists and they only just let me go, so I didn't have time to do it.

2.I didn't do it because I didn't want to add to my teacher's heavy workload.

3.A bunch of nerds 스톨, 훔친 it to make sure theirs were completely perfect.

4.We ran out of toilet paper at my house last night, and my Dad isn't feeling so good. He grabbed it in a big rush and I haven't seen it since.

5.My mother took it to have it framed.

6.It was in my back pocket and a pickpocket 스톨, 훔친 it.

7.I let somebody copy it but they never gave it back.

8.My mom's whooping cough vaccination wore off and we had to go to the hospital.

9.My skimpy printer ran out of ink.

10.I wasn't able to do my homework this weekend because when I went ice fishing, the heater inside of the tent got too close to the 벽 of the tent, starting it on fire. And when I ran out of there, I realized that my cat was still in there. My cat was in there because all the small 물고기 that I catch, I just give to my cat. But when I went back for my cat, the 불, 화재 was too...
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Article by wakana posted over a year ago
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1. People are 더 많이 likely to tilt their heads to the right when 키싱 instead of the left (65 percent of people go to the right!).

2.The oldest known 사랑 song was written 4,000 years 이전 and comes from an area between the Tigris and Euphrates Rivers.

3.One in five long-term 사랑 relationships began with one 또는 both partners being involved with others.

4.Falling in 사랑 can induce a calming effect on the body and mind and raises levels of nerve growth factor for about a year, which helps to restore the nervous system and improves the lover’s memory.

5.Love can also exert the same stress on your body as deep fear. 당신 see the same physiological responses—pupil dilation, sweaty palms, and increased 심장 rate.

6.Philadelphia International Airport finished as the No. 1 best airport for making a 사랑 connection, according to a recent survey.

7.Men who 키스 their wives in the morning live five years longer than those who don't.
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List by britishboy posted over a year ago
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During the summer it is so easy to say, "I have nothing to do!" No 더 많이 excuses-here is a list of 50 things to do the 다음 time 당신 are bored!
1. Gather up a few friends, and have a picnic in your back .
2. Go on a walk and take pictures of trees, flowers, dogs, etc.
3. Buy some fashion magazines, pick out a couple of really cute outfits, and try to recreate them for less!
4. Bead some bracelets and sell them for charity.
5. Volunteer at the local animal 또는 homeless shelter.
6. Clean your room!
7. Bake some 컵케익 and deliver them to 프렌즈 and family.
8. Play some childhood games like "Sorry", "Candyland", 또는 "Pretty Pretty Princess".
9. Take your dog for a walk.
10. E-mail a friend 당신 haven't spoken to in awhile.
11. Do 25 jumping jacks!
12. Look through old family scrapbooks, 사진 books, and yearbooks.
13. Make a root 맥주 float.
14. Go to the 영화 with your siblings.
15. Go window-shopping with a friend.
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Article by TotalDramaChick posted over a year ago
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[b] 1.Rubber bands last longer when refrigerated.

2.Peanuts are one of the ingredients of dynamite.

3.There are 293 ways to make change for a dollar.

4.The average person's left hand does 56% of the typing.

5.A 상어 is the only 물고기 that can blink with both eyes.

6.There are 더 많이 chickens than people in the world.

7.Two-thirds of the world's 가지 is grown in New Jersey.

8.The longest one-syllable word in the English language is "screeched."

9.On a Canadian two dollar bill, the flag flying over the Parliament building is an American flag.

10.All of the clocks in the movie "Pulp Fiction" are stuck on 4:20.

11.No word in the English language rhymes with month, orange, silver, 또는 purple.

12."Dreamt" is the only English word that ends in the letters "mt".

13.All 50 States are listed across the 상단, 맨 위로 of the 링컨 Memorial on the back of the $5 bill.
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