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Opinion by tokidoki123 posted over a year ago
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[Family Guy] S01E05 - A Hero Sits 다음 Door #178
Lois: Meg, you're a sweet, beautiful girl, he'll come around.
Meg: That's such a mom answer.
Lois: Well, have 당신 tried showing him the goods? How's that for a mom answer?
Meg: Creepy.
Contributed 의해 funnytvquotes.com



[Family Guy] S03E07 - Lethal Weapons #183
Peter: Excuse me, is your refrigerator running? Because if it is, it probably runs like 당신 - very homosexually.
Contributed 의해 funnytvquotes.com



[Family Guy] S03E10 - 물고기 Out Of Water #181
Auctioner: We'll open this auction with this pair of panties confiscated from a prostitute.
Quagemire: Fifty bucks!
Auctioner: She had nine STDs.
Quagmire: Forty-five bucks.
Auctioner: And when we caught her she wet herself.
Quagmire: Fifty bucks!
Contributed 의해 funnytvquotes.com



[Family Guy] S04E02 - Fast Times at Buddy Cianci Jr. High #184
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Guide by tdafan121 posted over a year ago
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I know I've been going on about this a lot lately, but I want to challenge every single one of 당신 to try and start a chain reaction of kindness. I've recently had a Rachel's Challenge assembly at my school. We have one every few years. But this time, we had new material that really inspired me to begin my own chain reaction. Rachel's Challenge involves five challenges:
1. Look for the best in people
2. Dream big
3. Choose positive influences
4. Speak with kindness
5. Start your own chain reaction

Accepting and achieving these challenges isn't a hard thing to do if 당신 really decide to try. Showing 사랑 and kindness to a few people every 일 can start those people showing kindness, and then begin a chain reaction of kindness.
If 당신 don't know the background of Rachel's Challenge, this is it: Rachel Joy Scott was the first one to be shot and killed in the 1999 Columbine High School shooting. Rachel kept journals and wrote essays filled with her ideas and what became her Challenge. She believed that if one person could take the time to show some kindness, that it could start a chain reaction of kindness. Rachel always said that she...
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Opinion by vvfrankie posted over a year ago
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take a base ball bat
hit her in the head until she gets knocked out and tie her in a chair then ask her retarted 질문
when she 답변 헤로인 her in the face and say WRONG ANSWER *extra poinds if u sit on her lap* do this 2 all of your teachers its so funny!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Article by nidoqueen posted over a year ago
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1)read something over and over that 당신 thing that think is funny that 당신 또는 someone 게시됨 on fanpop.
2)a nice cup of coffee.
3)a nice cup of hot coco.
4)a nice brakefast(sorry if mis spelled).
5)do something to make yourself laugh.
trust me i works to laugh your head off before 당신 go to school, work, cherch 또는 when your at 집 i just got 암갈색, 암 갈색 읽기 a 100 times over what i 게시됨 on an rp and it was funny i put the words "BONE HEAD" 10 times then put "YOU ARE HOPELESS!" and i'm still laughing my head off so it helps to at lest laugh to start your 일 off right
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Opinion by Thecharliejay posted over a year ago
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Think
1.    1
Realization. Even though it may seem impossible, the truth is, nothing is impossible. If 당신 keep thinking it's impossible, then it will be. Have faith
2
Analyze the situation. Create a list of "pros" and "cons" to help 당신 better understand why you're seeking 사랑 또는 acceptance from this person.
2.    3
Don't worry about things 당신 can't help. Acknowledge the impossibility as something that is totally out of your hands (ex: marriage, age, sexuality, hang-ups) and know that if something is meant to be, it will be.
3.    4
Don't take it personally. Perceiving the situation as a personal attack, is not advised. There is no point 의해 contemplating why. In fact, it may create a mysterious attraction to them therefore prolonging infatuation, not to mention causing 당신 a world of pain.
4.    5
Plan wisely. Set aside a time for any duration. 의해 reflecting, not brooding, 당신 gain insight for your 다음 possible crush.
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List by softball12 posted over a year ago
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I 사랑 being random!!!! I 사랑 pie too!!! And Im really hyper and i 사랑 dogs, cats..... ahhhahahah ok anyways pie is good!!! Im boredd and typing nonsense!! hahahahah I llove softball and chapstick, and tigger, winnie the pooh, music, giraffes, piglet pans(;)) I like cCHHHHHHHHHHHHHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!SOrry but this 기사 is pointless to read LOL :) (Im random)
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List by PsychadelicSkye posted over a year ago
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1.Do not introduce self as roleplaying character in public.
2.Do not talk to fictional characters in public.
3.Do not answer fictional characters in public.
4.Do not talk to inanimate objects in public.
5.Do not go out in public.
6.Disregard above note.Perform numbers 1 to 4.
7.Note expressions.
8.Don't die alone. Take many people with you.
9.Floor is slippery when wet.
10.Lake is slippery when dry.
11.Only talk to strangers 당신 know.
12.Strangers 당신 don't know are spies... Kill them all.
13.For legal purposes be sure to 삭제 above note.
14.Tell people about the spies that are trying to kill you.
15.Kill them for security purposes.
16.Crying does not solve anything. Try violent mood swings.
17.Make a scene whenever humanly possible.
18.The men in white coats are not your friends.
19.Ask them for a room with lots of sharp, pointy objects.
20.When that doesn't work, ask for a designer jacket.
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List by PsychadelicSkye posted over a year ago
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60 Fun ways to order a pizza


1. If using a touch-tone, press 랜덤 numbers while ordering. Ask the person taking the order to stop doing that.

2. Make up a charge-card name. Ask if they accept it.

3. Order a Big Mac Extra Value Meal.

4. Terminate the call with, "Remember, we never had this conversation."

5. Tell the order taker a rival 피자 place is on the other line and you're going with the lowest bidder.

6. Give them your address, exclaim, "Oh, just surprise me!" and hang up.

7. In your breathiest voice, tell them to cut the crap about nutrition and ask if they have something outlandishly sinful.

8. Tell them to put the crust on 상단, 맨 위로 this time.

9. Sing the order to the tune of your 가장 좋아하는 song from Metallica's Master of Puppets CD.

10. Do not name the toppings 당신 want. Rather, spell them out.

11. Put an extra edge in your voice when 당신 say "crazy bread."
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List by Smilebaby05 posted over a year ago
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[b] Haha, Some Funny Things To Do While Class Is Going On.. :D

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~-------------~~~~~~~~~­~~~­~~~­~

1) Bring some 책 to class and read them instead of paying attention 또는 doing any work.

2) Walk around class begging for spare change.

3) Chew on your arm until someone notices.

4) Change seats every time the teacher turns his/her back.

5) After the teacher explains something, laugh really loud and say "Oh, now I get it!"

6) Lick yourself clean like a cat does.

7) After the teacher has explained something, say "Quite right, old bean" in the typical old english style.

8) Sing your 질문 to the class.

9) When the teacher calls roll, after each name scream "THAT'S MEEEEE!!! Oh, no, sorry."

10) Page through the textbook scratching each picture and sniffing it.

11) Stare continually at the teacher's private areas. Occasionally lick your lips.
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Article by Emmett4ever posted over a year ago
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I'm not sure if this is the Best Place to put it but I thought it was because of the Amount of people on here. Well, There is the Man (if 당신 can even call him that) named Joseph Kony. For 20 Years now he has been abducting children, forcing them to become sex slaves, kill their own parents, become child soldiers, and mutilate people's faces. And they are no older then teenagers. Some even as young as 6 and 7 years of age. Now this is not Happening in the United States but it is happening in Africa. Now some people in other countries might be like why does this concern us but it really does. Joseph Kony is moving his "army" from place to place. Now if 당신 have a younger brother 또는 sister 또는 just anyone younger then 당신 imagine this happening to them. These children do not end up being freed...they end up dead in a grave. And if they dont't obey the same thing happens to them. But we can change that...this 년 in 2012. On April 20, 2012 after the sun goes down and everyone is in their houses..we are going to cover our cities with "Kony 2012". We are going to make him famous. Why? Becuase famous people have no privacy. They can't go anywhere without being recognized. And that' s...
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List by PsychadelicSkye posted over a year ago
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~A bucket list (for those who don't know) is a list of things 당신 want to do before 당신 die.
~This list I made is all in FUN
~Not all the things listed are meant to be taken seriously
~Make a list of your own if 당신 enjoyed this :)

1- Fall in 사랑 with a werewolf..
2- Write a book about a wizard named Harry Potter and...wait J.K. Rowling already wrote about that...shiz nuggets
3- Write a book about a girl named Bella that falls in 사랑 with a vampire named Edw- 당신 KNOW WHAT I GIVE UP ON 글쓰기 A BOOK! ALL THOSE IDEAS ARE TAKEN now im sad
4- Understand algebra
5-Have my own cooking show ...even tho im a terrible cook
6- Understand why there is a squirell underwater in spongebob
7- Dress up like Edward scissor-hands for 다음 Halloween!
8- Try to not get sued for cutting little girls hair off dressed as Edward scissor hands..
9- Scream "RAWRrrrrr " in public and not have people judge me
10- Develop super powers
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Article by dizzydiscgirl posted over a year ago
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Hi peeps, I just had an idea so I made a spur of the moment article!!!
So, what you've gotta do is write a single word in the 코멘트 box (make sure it's relevant to the one above it!) and eventually it will make a story!!!
E.g:
There
Once
Was
A
Carrot
Called
Bill!

Get it? Ok, the starting word is...
Who




Ghghghghghghghghghghghghghghghghghghghghghghghghghghghghghghghghhghg



Just filling up 우주 so the 기사 will ACTUALLY POST HOW LONG DOES THIS THING HAVE TO BE?!?!?
.."........."....."...."........
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Guide by JamesK95 posted over a year ago
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1) The Hard man act - guys will put on an act of being hard for 2 reasons: a) They are with mates and having some banter. If ther is banter, there is Hard man acting. b) They fancy you. Some guys will try to give the impression that they are strong, athletic etc. But this is only one way of a guy trying to impress you. If a guy does not do this, it doesn't mean he doesn't fancy you. (see 2)

2) Guys will be sensitive. A guy will be mature and caring around 당신 if he fancies you. He wants to show he's not just thinking about sex, and is after a meaningful relationship. He wants to present himself as someone 당신 can trust and depend on.

3) For a gender that spends a lot of its time boasting about penis sizes, when it comes to asking 당신 out, it is rare that we have the balls. We like to have as much confirmation as we can that 당신 like us back so we don't make fools of ourselves, 또는 destroy a friendship. A mutual friend who gives 조언 to both sides is very effective in speeding the process of building up the courage. If a very close friend of yours has given him reason to believe 당신 like him, he is a lot 더 많이 likely to ask 당신 out.
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Article by VoicesInMyHead posted over a year ago
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My name is Chris
I am three
I cannot see,
I must be stupid
I must be bad,
What else could have made
My daddy so mad?
I wish I were better
I wish I weren't ugly,
Then maybe my mommy
Would still want to hug me.
I cant do a wrong
I cant speak at all
또는 else im locked up
All 일 long.
When im awake im all alone
The house is dark
My folks arent 집
When my mommy does come 집
I'll try and be nice,
So maybe ill just get
One whipping tonight.
I just heard a car
My daddy is back
From Chariles bar.
I hear him curse
My name is called
I press myself
Against the 벽
I try to hide
From his evil eyes
Im so afraid now
I'm starting to cry
He finds me weeping
Calls me ugly words,
He says its my fault
He suffers at work.
He slaps and hits me
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Article by eslisle4254 posted over a year ago
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I found this poem and i felt i needed to post it


월 One

Mommy, I am only 8 inches long, but I have all my organs. I 사랑 the sound of your voice. Every time I hear it, I wave my arms and legs. The sound of your 심장 beat is my 가장 좋아하는 lullaby.

월 Two

Mommy, today I learned how to suck my thumb. If 당신 could see me, 당신 could definitely tell that I am a baby. I'm not big enough to survive outside my 집 though. It is so nice and warm in here.

월 Three

당신 know what Mommy, I'm a girl !! I hope that makes 당신 happy. I always want 당신 to be happy. I don't like it when 당신 cry. 당신 sound so sad. It makes me sad too, and I cry with 당신 even though 당신 can't hear me.

월 Four

Mommy, my hair is starting to grow. It is very short and fine, but I will have a lot of it. I spend a lot of my time exercising. I can turn my head and curl my fingers and toes, and stretch my arms and legs. I am becoming quite good at it too.
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Article by eslisle4254 posted over a year ago
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My name is Chris
I am three
I cannot see,
I must be stupid
I must be bad,
What else could have made
My daddy so mad?
I wish I were better
I wish I weren't ugly,
Then maybe my mommy
Would still want to hug me.
I cant do a wrong
I cant speak at all
또는 else im locked up
All 일 long.
When im awake im all alone
The house is dark
My folks arent 집
When my mommy does come 집
I'll try and be nice,
So maybe ill just get
One whipping tonight.
I just heard a car
My daddy is back
From Chariles bar.
I hear him curse
My name is called
I press myself
Against the 벽
I try to hide
From his evil eyes
Im so afraid now
I'm starting to cry
He finds me weeping
Calls me ugly words,
He says its my fault
He suffers at work.
He slaps and hits me
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Article by icuSTALKER posted over a year ago
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She's beautiful...
Her brown eyes sparkle.
Her nails are perfect.
Her golden brown hair shines like polished wood.
She is an average height for twenty-one.
She's playful, friendly.
She never gets mad.
She loves food.
She hugs 당신 a lot.
Don't 당신 사랑 her?
I do...
I 사랑 my dog.
:D:D:D:D:D:D
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Opinion by cuteypuffgirl posted over a year ago
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Props to my friend, 당신 know who 당신 are, for the idea and the inspiration. Thank 당신 so much, 당신 are awesome :)

Perfection.
That's a word all of us have, 또는 will have, tried to accomplish. I'm pretty sure one of 당신 out there's trying to be the 상단, 맨 위로 of the class 또는 상단, 맨 위로 of your sports team 또는 getting the attention of someone 또는 trying to make your parents proud 또는 something. And I'm pretty sure once 또는 twice one of us has failed. We've all felt insecure at one point, felt misery, darkness and pain. We've all felt the need to take our lives away 또는 draw blood 또는 run away 또는 something of that sort. But none of us realized something: We are who we are and that should be good enough for the person. Does it matter if one person doesn't appreciate you? Does it matter if you're not the center of attention? Ever feel like giving up? DON'T. Giving up will amount to nothing because life without faith and confidence is nothing. Nothing, I tell. Ever feel as though that other bitch/guy/girl/@$$#$##^$^* is better than you? DON'T. Cuz 당신 are special in your own way, whether 당신 realize it 또는 not. So keep your head held up high and be proud! Think positive and...
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List by SymmaGirl2 posted over a year ago
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Be faithful in small things because it is in them that your strength lies. -Mother Teresa

With the new 일 comes new strength and new thoughts. -Eleanor Roosevelt

A creative man is motivated 의해 the desire achieve, not the desire to beat others. -Ayn Rand

Act as if what 당신 do makes a difference. It does. -William James

Always desire to learn something useful. -Sophocles

Always do your best. What 당신 plant now, 당신 will harvest later. -Og Mandino

Be gentle to all and strict to yourself. -Saint Teresa of Avila

Either 당신 run the day, 또는 the 일 runs you. -Jim Rohn

Even if 당신 fall on your face, you're still moving forward. -Victor Kiam

If 당신 can dream it, 당신 can do it. -Walt Disney

If 당신 ask me what I came into this life to do, I will tell you: I came to live out loud. -Emile Zola

If you've got talent, protect it. -Jim Carrey

Adopt the pace of nature; her secret is patience. -Ralph Waldo Emerson
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Article by APWBD112 posted over a year ago
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So this is a part from a story I'm 글쓰기 and I was wondering if anyone like's this shit so tell me what 당신 think......

While they were walking through the forest Arianna noticed that Alex didn’t have many armors, she was a warriors right didn’t they need a lot of these? “Hey Alex I was….” but she didn’t say anything 더 많이 Alex turned around quick and said “Don’t call me Alex here my name is Velocius Quam Ceteris it mean faster then the rest……” and she turned around again. “Huh okay, but I was thinking don’t 당신 need 더 많이 of 당신 know armor are 당신 save like this?” “Faster then the rest I don’t need any armor” she said. What ever had happened Alex was different, like all of her laughter had been sucked away. “But Alex….I’m sorry Velocius can I call 당신 Vel?” she asked “My 프렌즈 call me Vivos it’s shorter then Velocius but it sill means the same but the masters call me that…..” she said and when she said master it sounded like she didn’t like to say it like there was something about it something Arianna had never heard from her friend. It was a beautiful weather the sun was shining and cast shadows all over...
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Article by 1BTRfan posted over a year ago
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Hi my name is Amanda and this is how to service 7th grade. On the first 일 of 7th grade I was so excited to see my 프렌즈 after summer yay. Well the first 일 of 7th grade really sucked but at least I got to see my friends. Yes it’s time to leave school. But I did not see one of my 프렌즈 Hannah that sucks because she went to Luray middle. Well I’m 집 and I just talked to Hannah on the phone. She said “I might come back to page 다음 semester”. “Sweet school is so different without one of my best friends” I said. “If I don’t come back don’t be mad at me”. “I won’t I promise I have to leave now bye”. “Bye”.
Its 일 two and I still like the guy I liked last year. His name is Michel yester 일 I found out that he is in my last block English class with miss. J. So when I got to class today (by the way he sits right behind me oh no) his hair with JB style (before it got cut) and light brown color was perfect. His eyes the perfect shade of baby blue, he is just a little taller than me and hardly knows I exist. So I sit in my 좌석 today in class and Michel said “hi” (oh no what do I say what do I say) I thought so I said “hi” then he...
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List by joe-kerr posted over a year ago
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저기요 everyone.
I'm back with another list. And this time, I do know who to credit. All these 인용구 are from George W. Bush. For real. I found them online on various media sites. The ranking, however, is my own.

20    "They misunderestimated me."
     —Bentonville, Arkansas; November 6, 2000
    
19    "Goodbye from the world's biggest polluter."
     —In parting words to world leaders at his final G-8 Summit, punching the air and grinning widely as those present looked on in shock, Rusutsu, Japan, July 10, 2008
    
18    "The most important thing is for us to find Osama bin Laden. It is our number one priority and we will not rest until we find him." —Washington, D.C., Sept. 13, 2001
    
     "I don't know where bin Laden is. I have no idea and really don't care. It's not that important. It's not our priority." —Washington, D.C., March 13, 2002
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List by VoicesInMyHead posted over a year ago
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Disclaimer: I don't own the questions, just the answers. Also, some of these come from a religious point of view rather than a philosophical point of view, but there the only 답변 I can think of. Please feel free to offer alternative ideas.





- What is the sound of one hand clapping? Fwip fwip fwip. If 당신 open and close your hand it makes this sound.





* if a 나무, 트리 falls in the middle of the forest, does it make a sound? Yes. This 질문 is based on the theory that sound is a figment of imagination. But the same principle applies to the existence of the TREE'S existence. So, assuming the 나무, 트리 exists in the first place, it would make a sound.




- Which came first, the chicken 또는 the egg? The chicken. If God made Adam and Eve, He would have made two chickens. Besides, the egg/baby chick would not survive without care. (sorry to anyone I offended.)




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List by joe-kerr posted over a year ago
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I found this hilarious 기사 on pcworld.com
Don't know who the author is, but he's funny.

1. Backward Thinking
"I sold my only car to help pay for gas money, but now gas has come down in price. How do I get my car back?"
I tried to contact this guy, but it turns out that he also sold his computer to help pay for his Internet connection.

2. It's Caps Lock--Capisce?
"HOW DO I TURN OFF CAPSLOCK? I ACCIDENTALLY TURNED IT ON YESTERDAY AND I DONT KNOW HOW TO TURN IT BACK OFF."
Note to self: Register howtoturnoffcapslock.com; make millions.

3. Credit Crunch
"I wanted to see if my computer would read my credit card so i put it in the cd rom and it got stuck, how do i get it out?? I tryed toothpics but 로스트 them in the process?? also the drive is making noises"
Oh, that's normal. Your system is just waiting for 당신 to pay the required $1 processing fee for scanning the card. Simply fold a greenback into a tiny square and insert it into any USB port.
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List by Usui--takumi posted over a year ago
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EMOTICONS Happy‏
^o^ ☺ ☻ ت ヅ ^.^ ツ ッ シ Ü ≧◡≦ ᵔᴥᵔ ^^ (°⌣°)
٩(^‿^)۶ ٩(-̮̮̃•̃) ◕‿◕ ٩(●̮̮̃•̃)۶ ٩(-̮̮̃-̃)۶ ٩(͡๏̮͡๏)۶ =^.^=
(•‿•) ó‿ó ¢‿¢ ٩◔‿◔۶ ಠ◡ಠ ༺‿༻ (^L^)
♥‿♥ ◙‿◙ ●‿● ^( '‿' )^ ^‿^ ❀‿❀ 乂◜◬◝乂
{◕ ◡ ◕} (。◕‿◕。) ┌( ಠ‿ಠ)┘ ◃┆◉◡◉┆▷ (▰˘◡˘▰)
< (^^,) > q(❂‿❂)p <【☯】‿【☯】> |◔◡◉| ⊂◉‿◉つ
✌.ʕʘ‿ʘʔ.✌ ۹⌤_⌤۹ ⎝⎲⏝⏝⎲⎠ ⎝⓿⏝⓿⎠ ⎝⏠⏝⏠⎠
⎝ᄽ⏝⏠⎠ \(^ω^\) (●⌒∇⌒●) ヾ(●⌒∇⌒●)ノ (〃^∇^)ノ All happy emoticons
Sad
☹ ๏̯͡๏ ».« (͡๏̯͡๏) (×̯×) ಠ_ృ ಥ_ಥ v_v ►_◄ ►.◄ >.< ಠ_ರೃ טּ_טּ ಠ╭╮ಠ
מּ_מּ לּ_לּ טּ_טּ ಸ_ಸ ಠ,ಥ ໖_໖ Ծ_Ծ ಠ_ಠ ⇎_⇎ ●_● ~̯~ ◔̯◔ ᇂ_ᇂ أ ̯ أ
(╥﹏╥) ( ´_⊃`) (►.◄) (ு८ு) v(ಥ ̯ ಥ)v (ಠ_ರೃ) (◕︵◕)
⎝⎲⎵⎲⎠ ب_ب
Cute Face
✿◕ ‿ ◕✿ ❀◕ ‿ ◕❀...
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