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posted by jessicamc26
A little old lady walked up to the cashier and placed a bag of cat 음식 on the check out counter. The cashier said, I'm sorry but I can't sell 당신 that cat food. Why not? asked the little old lady. The cashier replided.. we have had complants that some senior citizens who don't have very much money are buying pet 음식 and eating eat, and it's not healthy for them. If 당신 can prove to me that 당신 own a cat, then I can sell 당신 the cat food.
The little old lady left the store and returned about an 시간 later with her cat, purchased the cat 음식 and went home.

About a week later she tried to buy...
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posted by chocopockyninja
Hello, resintly in my neighbor 후드 a dog was shot in the head 의해 a police officer. This happend when the family left there 개 in the gradge, with the door open. The 개 tried to get into the house and when they finally did, it triggered the alarm system in the house automaticly notifying the police. When an officer got to the house, the gradge door was open. So he got his gun out thinking there was someone inside. Like a robber 또는 rapest 또는 something. When he approached the house, two 개 came out. One ran towards him barking. The officer, out of fright shot the dog. Not just in the paw...
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posted by nmdis
"Behind Enemy Lines"


And I feel, I feel a deep connection,
And I think that we might be on to something, no
And I know it's something special,
Seeing 당신 here, is not coincidental,

Well I've been walking, walking behind enemy lines,
And I've been fighting, fighting, from the other side,
I've been saying, saying, I won't fall this time,
But now I'm walking, walking within enemy lines.

But I was trying to be everything 당신 weren't expecting,
All I ever wanted was to try and keep 당신 guessing,
But I'm falling way too fast,
I just want thing 사랑 to last forever, forever,
And every time I feel this...
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Rachel's POV:

She was astonished 의해 Andrew's reaction for slapping me. She tried to hold back the tears. But poor girl. The tears rolled down her cheek. She motioned towards the door and went out slamming the door shut.

"Sh*t! What am I doing?" He muttered.

He too went out. Maybe in 검색 of Ruby.

Andrew's POV:

"Ruby, I'm sorry!" I said going at the back of her.

I regret slapping her. I really shouldn't have done it.

But poor Rachel was being abused! What did she do to Ruby?

Nothing.

Absolutely nothing.

It was all my fault. I wrapped my arm around Rachel because I wanted to see how jealous Ruby felt....
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posted by PsychadelicSkye
60 Fun ways to order a pizza


1. If using a touch-tone, press 랜덤 numbers while ordering. Ask the person taking the order to stop doing that.

2. Make up a charge-card name. Ask if they accept it.

3. Order a Big Mac Extra Value Meal.

4. Terminate the call with, "Remember, we never had this conversation."

5. Tell the order taker a rival 피자 place is on the other line and you're going with the lowest bidder.

6. Give them your address, exclaim, "Oh, just surprise me!" and hang up.

7. In your breathiest voice, tell them to cut the crap about nutrition and ask if they have something outlandishly...
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posted by jamahl17
we hate nearly the same actions as u girls do

We hate to be forgotten 또는 ignored

We hate when we r left waiting too long

We hate when u dont 키스 with us very often

We suspect u when u dont let us meet ur parents

We hate when u keep secrets from us

Compliment us once in a while as u want us to do with u

Share 또는 spend enough time with us otherwise we will get bored and start comparing u with other friends

Learn about our hobies and do them with us and we wil be very grateful and do the same

Most of us really dont care about sex 또는 sleeping with us

If u really want something from us, tell us 또는 give...
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posted by ladyshela
Found this online

A break up is like a broken mirror.
It is better to leave it broken
than hurt yourself trying to fix it.

I can't escape the thought of you.
Even in my dreams 당신 are there.
It's not fair how your gone,
and how you're moving on so fast,
while I am still living in the past.

Breaking up is not a stupid thing;
instead it makes 당신 a better person
and realize your mistakes.

Letting go of someone dear to 당신 is hard,
but holding on to someone
who doesn't even feel
the same is much harder.
Giving up doesn't mean 당신 are weak!
It only means that
you are strong enough to let go!

Breaking up...
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posted by KitkatKaysa
(Before we start I would just like to point out that this is how to get CLEARER skin. I'm not promising that you’re going to get clear skin, because technically nobody has perfectly clear skin).



So if you’re 읽기 this 기사 당신 either want to achieve and maintain clearer skin 또는 you’re just really bored.

First off let's start out with the basics....



Of course 당신 should cleanse, tone and moisturize your skin 1-2 times daily.



-A cleanser is what cleans your skin. It removes the dirt, oil and makeup off your skin. Be sure to not wash your face 더 많이 then twice a day, unless 당신 were...
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I know a lot of people hate/dislike characters from a lot of things. Tv shows,anime,video games and so on. But! If there is one reason that they use that annoys me is the fact that they "get in the way" of a certain couple 또는 pairing. (Crackshipping 또는 Fanon pairing are included in this.)

You DO NOT hate a character 또는 anyone in real life for "getting in the way" of people 당신 want to get together. It's annoying and quite frankly mean.

For example,Juvia from Fairy Tail gets hated on for a couple of reasons. One of them being that she gets in the way of GRAYLU. Here's the thing. GrayLu isn't...
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Me:Okay...Got any sixths?
Sam:Go fish,
Emma:GO FISH?I THOUGHT THIS WAS NUMBER BINGO!!
Sam:*Looks at me*What was your first clue?*sarcasm*
Me:Come on!Let's go get some food
*all walk over to kitchen*
Emma:Can I have a sandwich?
Me:Whats the magic word?
Emma:Give...me...my...freaking...sandwich...NOW!!
Me:*Gets bread*Okay!Fine!Sam?What do 당신 want?
Sam:Um...I guess I'll have some POPTARTS!!
Me:Okay!So...whats up guys?
Emma:Oh today at school remember That kid Mason said I wet myself when it was MILK!
Me:*laughs*And when 당신 said Ret race instead of retrace!
Sam cracks up.
Emma:THAT WAS A SECRET!!!
Me:You didn't...
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posted by karpach_14
Jack and Betty are celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary.

"Betty, I was wondering -- have 당신 ever cheated on me?"

"Oh Jack, why would 당신 ask such a 질문 now? 당신 don't want to ask that question..."

"Yes, Betty, I really want to know. Please."

"Well, all right. Yes, 3 times."

"Three? When were they?"

"Well, Jack, remember when 당신 were 35 years old and 당신 really wanted to start the business on your own and no bank would give 당신 a loan? Remember how one 일 the bank president himself came over to the house and signed the loan papers, no 질문 asked?"

"Oh, Betty, 당신 did that for me!...
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posted by karpach_14
A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced ten husbands.

On their wedding night, she told her new husband, "Please be gentle, I'm still a virgin."

"What?" said the puzzled groom.

"How can that be if you've been married ten times?"

"Well, Husband #1 was a sales representative: he kept telling me how great it was going to be.

Husband #2 was in software services: he was never really sure how it was supposed to function, but he said he'd look into it and get back to me.

Husband #3 was from field services: he said everything checked out diagnostically but he just couldn't get the system...
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posted by khfan12
This is khfan12. I am back here on fanpop. I haven't been here for about a year. I've just been really busy with life. I had a stalker I dealt with (said stalker is now in a mental hospital). I've dealt with a broken 심장 and with some close 프렌즈 betraying me and stabbing me in the back, and others trying to commit suicide, including a few attempts myself.
On the bright side, I've gotten way better at singing, drawing, and writing. I read 망가 allot 더 많이 and watch allot 더 많이 anime. I still 사랑 Kingdom Hearts, I will never give that up. I 사랑 Soul Eater, along with Ouran High School Host...
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posted by karpach_13
Things other's hate
Here's a few things 당신 can do to make everyone pissed off at you.

1. Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 99 copies.

2. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sensual massage."

3. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."

4. If 당신 have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.

5. Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets.

6. Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "to keep them tuned up."

7. Reply to everything someone says with "that's what 당신 think."...
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Teddy, I've been bad again
My mommy told me so;
I'm not quite sure what I did wrong
But I thought 당신 might know.

When I woke this morning
I knew that she was mad
Cause she was crying awful hard,
And yelling at my dad.

I tried my best to be real good
And do just what she said
I cleaned my room all 의해 myself,
I even made my bed.

But I spilled 우유 on my good shirt,
When she yelled at me to hurry
And I guess she didn't hear me,
When I told her I was sorry

Cause she hit me awful hard, 당신 see,
And called me funny names;
And told me I was really bad
And I should be ashamed.

When I said "I 사랑 당신 Mommy",
I guess she...
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posted by boomerlover
Only three doors

An airline captain was breaking in a new blonde stewardess. The route they were flying had a layover in another city. Upon their arrival, the captain showed the stewardess the best place for airline personnel to eat, 샵 and stay overnight.

The 다음 morning, as the pilot was preparing the crew for the day's route, he noticed the new stewardess was missing. He knew which room she was in at the hotel and called her up wondering what happened. She answered the phone, crying, and said she couldn't get out of her room. "You can't get out of your room?" the captain asked, "Why not?"

The stewardess replied: "There are only three doors in here," she sobbed, "one is the bathroom, one is the closet, and one has a sign on it that says 'Do Not Disturb'!"
posted by bubble_babe
 xD
xD
Ok Frist i have to do all this 랜덤 crap then i can post them sooooo read the RANDOM!



()_() Help this buuny
(+.+) take over the
() () WORLD! and if 당신 dont.
He'll kill you!


yhul;op - my cat tryed to say 'hi' xD


Omg my bunny fell asleep in my 고양이 litter box xD XD

Ummmmm what else, ou, my lil sis is trying to ride my horse........>:( NO1 RIDES BEAKEY OTHER THEN MEH! SHE IS GOING DOWN!

God other then me being pissed right now and waiting to post 랜덤 pics what else should i do?

Uhhhhhh......The onley normale 일 i had was a monday.

my cat eats dog food

monkeys ate Miley C.

Lets see if i can post the pics now.
 just poke-her face xD
just poke-her face xD
 OMG lets save tarzan!
OMG lets save tarzan!
 shhhhh! hes 읽기
shhhhh! hes reading
 teeheehee
teeheehee
 OMG he look like my sparta!
OMG he look like my sparta!
 xD
xD
 LMFAO
LMFAO
 Rub a dub dub in the tub
Rub a dub dub in the tub
 this is to good
this is to good
 JUST LOOK AT IT XD
JUST LOOK AT IT XD
 xDD
xDD
posted by lydiascats
things i hate:
Hannah Montana
Dallas Cowboys
braids
Whoppers
my brother
Owen
school
Barbies
dolls

things i like:
chicken fingers
computers
Total Drama Island
Total Drama Action
Creative Zens
spelling things wrong
고딕 colors
pink
연기 VERYVERYVERYVERY blond
SHINY STUFF

words to describe me:
crazy
quiet
misunderstood
wild
TDI-obsessed
weird
blonde
confused

THESE SENTENCES I WILL NOW TYPE WILL BE SO STUPID AND RANDOM...
I kickewd Chuck Norris because I like to jump off cliffs!!!
Chickenfingers lie about being pink!!!
Whoppers say eat me today!!!

as i said, totally dumb and random.
posted by misscrazel
Gamelion 1st, 년 0, 1st sun
Four mighty gods created the world. Minoth, god of fire, took a 별, 스타 from the sky. Grythnà, god of water, doused the flames. Kitithà, goddess of air, carved the 별, 스타 with powerful gusts of wind. At last Lamari, god of life, added the plants. Trees and grass. 꽃 and vines. Then they added nine races; elves, dwarves, humans, undead, nymphs, nif, ninx, keelintà and kitsune. There were six of each race and eight types of elves; healing, nature, magic, water, night, fire, sun, and air. They believed they had created the perfect world. However, they made one mistake....
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January
---------------------------

Wolfe and the Grey Guards starts (1/20/14)

Fireman X starts (1/25/14)

----------------------------

February
----------------------------

Wolfe and the Grey Guards ends (2/5/14)

Wolfe and Finding the One starts (2/13/14)

Wolfe and Finding the One ends (2/14/14)

Fireman X ends (2/15/14)

Mirrorman X starts (2/17/14)

---------------------------------

March
---------------------------

Mirroman X ends (3/2/14)

-----------------------------

April
----------------

None

---------------


May
--------------------

Jumborg Ace X starts (5/11/14)

--------------------------

June
---------------------------...
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