글 작성하기

랜덤 기사

Sort by:   Most Recent | Top Rated
Filter by: 
Showing 랜덤 articles (3376-3400 of 3620)
Opinion by Shelly_McShelly posted over a year ago
fan of it?
10 fans
save
1. "No stopping 또는 standing." -- A sign at bus stops everywhere.

2. "Do not sit under coconut trees." -- A sign on a coconut palm in a West Palm 바닷가, 비치 park circa 1950.

3. "These rows reserved for parents with children." -- A sign in a church.

4. "All cups leaving this store, rather full 또는 empty, must be paid for." -- A sign in a Cumberland Farms in Hillsboro, New Hampshire.

5. "Malfunction: Too less water." -- A notice left on a coffee machine.

6. "Prescriptions cannot be filled 의해 phone." -- On a form in a clinic.

7. "You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside." -- On a bag of Fritos.

8. "Fits one head." -- On a hotel-provided 샤워 캡, 모자 box.

9. "Payment is due 의해 the due date." -- On a credit card statement.

10. "No small children." -- On a laundromat triple washer.

11. "Warning: Ramp Ends In Stairs." -- A sign, correctly describing the end of a concrete ramp intended for handicap access to a bridge.
read more...
Opinion by Shelly_McShelly posted over a year ago
fan of it?
5 fans
save
1. "Remove the plastic wrapper." -- The first instruction on a bag of microwave popcorn; to see the instructions, one first has to remove the plastic wrapper and unfold the pouch.

2. "Take one capsule 의해 mouth three times daily until gone." -- On a box of pills.

3. "Open packet. Eat contents." -- Instructions on a packet of airline peanuts.

4. "Remove wrapper, open mouth, insert muffin, eat." -- Instructions on the packaging for a 머핀 at a 7-11.

5. "Use like regular soap." -- On a bar of Dial soap.

6. "Instructions: usage known." -- Instructions on a can of black pepper.

7. "Serving suggestion: Defrost." -- On a Swann 겨울왕국 dinner.

8. "Simply pour the biscuits into a bowl and allow the cat to eat when it wants." -- On a bag of cat biscuits.

9. "In order to get out of car, open door, get out, lock doors, and then close doors." -- In a car manual.

10. "Please include the proper portion of your bill." -- On the envelope for an auto insurance bill.
read more...
Opinion by Shelly_McShelly posted over a year ago
fan of it?
5 fans
save
1. "Do not look into laser with remaining eye." -- On a laser pointer.

2. "Do not use for drying pets." -- In the manual for a microwave oven.

3. "For use on 동물 only." -- On an electric cattle prod.

4. "For use 의해 trained personnel only." -- On a can of air freshener.

5. "Keep out of reach of children and teenagers." -- On a can of air freshener.

6. "Remember, objects in the mirror are actually behind you." -- On a motorcycle helmet-mounted rear-view mirror.

7. "Warning: Riders of personal watercraft may suffer injury due to the forceful injection of water into body cavities either 의해 falling into the water 또는 while mounting the craft." -- In the manual for a jetski.

8. "Warning: Do not climb inside this bag and zip it up. Doing so will cause injury and death." -- A label inside a protective bag (for fragile objects), which measures 15cm 의해 15cm 의해 12cm.

9. "Do not use as ear plugs." -- On a package of silly putty.
read more...
Opinion by Shelly_McShelly posted over a year ago
fan of it?
17 fans
save
1. "Do not use if 당신 cannot see clearly to read the information in the information booklet." -- In the information booklet.

2. "Caution: The contents of this bottle should not be fed to fish." -- On a bottle of shampoo for dogs.

3. "For external use only!" -- On a curling iron.

4. "Warning: This product can burn eyes." -- On a curling iron.

5. "Do not use in shower." -- On a hair dryer.

6. "Do not use while sleeping." -- On a hair dryer.

7. "Do not use while sleeping 또는 unconscious." -- On a hand-held massaging device.

8. "Do not place this product into any electronic equipment." -- On the case of a 초콜릿 CD in a gift basket.

9. "Recycled flush water unsafe for drinking." -- On a toilet at a public sports facility in Ann Arbor, Michigan.

10. "Shin pads cannot protect any part of the body they do not cover." -- On a pair of shin guards made for bicyclists.

read more...
Opinion by Shelly_McShelly posted over a year ago
fan of it?
22 fans
save
Colonel Sanders
There's no reason to be the richest man in the cemetery. 당신 can't do any business from there.

Roseanne Barr
Experts say 당신 should never hit your children in anger. When is a good time? When you're feeling festive?

W.C. Fields
I am free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.

Milton Berle
They've finally come up with the perfect office computer. If it makes a mistake, it blames another computer.

George Gobal
If it weren't for electricity we'd all be watching 텔레비전 의해 candlelight.

Groucho Marx
I find 텔레비전 very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.

Voltaire
It is dangerous to be right when the government is wrong.

Oscar Wilde
의해 persistently remaining single a man converts himself into a permanent public temptation.

Ellen DeGeneres
My grandmother started walking five miles a 일 when she was sixty. She's ninety-seven now, and we don't know where the hell she is.
read more...
Opinion by Shelly_McShelly posted over a year ago
fan of it?
12 fans
save
There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.

What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere ?
‘Hold my purse.’

Men are like bank accounts. Without a lot of money they don’t generate a lot of interest.

Behind every successful man is a surprised woman.

A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.

If God wanted us to fly, He would have given us tickets.

Girls are like phones. We 사랑 to be held, talked too but if 당신 press the wrong button you’ll be disconnected!

I’m very 메리다와 마법의 숲 generally, he went on in a low voice: “Only today I happen to have a headache.”

I refuse to answer that 질문 on the grounds that I don’t know the answer.

We are all born mad. Some remain so.

Whenever I’m caught between two evils, I take the one I’ve never tried.

Wise men make proverbs, but fools repeat them.
read more...
Opinion by Shelly_McShelly posted over a year ago
fan of it?
18 fans
save
20 Things To Do In A Drive Through Lane

1. Stand close to the speaker and yell your order, using colorful expletives in ways which would embarrass the patrons inside.

2. Drive through backwards.

3. Belch your order.

4. After ordering, cover the speaker and mic with transparent tape. Watch as customers and order-takers are unable to hear each other and, thus, each raises his/her volume.

5. Barter. Offer a Whopper for a Big Mac.

6. Walk through.

7. Speak a foreign language (make one up if 당신 have to). When the manager comes to the mic, speak English and inquire as to why the order taker had such difficulty understanding you.

8. Repeat everything the order-taker says.

9. Attempt to take the order-takers order ("Hi, may I take your order?") before they get a chance to take yours.

10. Order confusing items, i.e., "Hi, I'll have a large 주황색, 오렌지 콜라 and a small medium fries, please."
read more...
Opinion by Shelly_McShelly posted over a year ago
fan of it?
18 fans
save
Anagrams

An Anagram, as 당신 all know, is a word 또는 phrase made 의해 transposing 또는 rearranging the letters of another word 또는 phrase. The following are exceptionally clever. Someone out there either has way too much time to waste 또는 is deadly at Scrabble. When 당신 rearrange the letters:

Dormitory .................................. Dirty Room

Evangelist................................. Evil's Agent

Desperation.............................. A Rope Ends It

The Morse Code..................... Here Come Dots

Slot Machines......................... Cash 로스트 in 'em

Animosity................................ Is No Amity

Mother-in-law..........................Woman Hitler

Snooze Alarms........................ Alas! No 더 많이 Z's

Alec Guinness......................... Genuine Class

Semolina................................... Is No Meal

The Public Art Galleries......... Large Picture Halls, I Bet
read more...
Opinion by Shelly_McShelly posted over a year ago
fan of it?
5 fans
save
just to let 당신 know, i didn't write any of these and i'm only posting them cos i saw it and thought it was funny


1. So your daughter's a hooker,
and it spoiled your day...
Look at the bright side,
she's a really good lay.

2. My tire was thumping....
I thought it was flat....
when I looked at the tire....
I noticed your cat... Sorry

3. 당신 had your bladder removed
and you're on the mends....
here's a bouquet of flowers
and a box of Depends.

4. You've announced that you're gay,
won't that be a laugh,
when they find out you're one
of the Joint Chiefs of Staff.

5. Happy Vasectomy!
Hope 당신 feel zippy!
Cause when I had mine
I got really snippy.

6. Heard your wife left you...
How upset 당신 must be...
But don't fret about it ....
She moved in with me

7. Your computer is dead...
it was once so alive
read more...
List by sweet_n_silly posted over a year ago
fan of it?
291 fans
save
I laughed so hard when I read this and I just had to share it

1. Guys hate sluts even though they have sex with them!

2. "Hey, are 당신 busy?" 또는 "Are 당신 doing something?" ~ two phrases guys open with to stop from stammering on the phone.

3. Guys may be flirting around all 일 but before they go to sleep, they always think about the girl they truly care about.

4. Before they call, guys try to plan out a little about what they're going to say so there aren't awkward pauses, but once he's on the phone he forgets it all and makes it up as he goes.

5. Guys go crazy over a girl's smile when they’re attracted to them

6. Guys will do anything just to get 당신 to notice him.

7. Guys hate it when 당신 talk about your ex-boyfriend 또는 ex love-interest. Unless they're going for the let-her-complain-to-you-and-then-have-her-realize-how-wonderful-and-nice-you-are method.

8. A guy who likes 당신 wants to be the only guy 당신 talk to.
read more...
Fan fiction by kk99aa posted over a year ago
fan of it?
4 fans
save
Just in case 당신 want to know,here's how the club
started.It was an awsome spring day.I was walking in the hallways and i heard a cry for help.My weird instinct took over and i found myself rushing toward the cry for help.Without thinking,i rushed and grabbed the bully's 팬티, 속옷 and swung him around and then he landed on the floor and got knocked unconcious.The others followed my lead and ran head-first into the bullies butts,and when the teachers came in to the hallways,we ran for it.And that's how it all got started.




(sorry its short, i did this on short notice)















(ps the 다음 chapter is like introductions and whatever just so 당신 know)
read more...
Opinion by Nayeli53 posted over a year ago
fan of it?
2 fans
save
Way 1: when they copy your songs u just played, play something that they cant play, like wipeout

Way 2: when someone from the other band is going to sit down, tell the 트롬본 to play a deep note then tell the a trumpet player to play a high note as the other person sits down then scream, "Somebody farted!!!"

Way 3: When one of them is nearby, throw something sticky 또는 disgusting, like melted 초콜릿 또는 a beetle that u just happened to catch in your hand 또는 went inside your uniform

Way 4: Do something stupid thatll make them forget that they hav to play The 별, 스타 Spangled Banner.

Way 5: Say something bout their uniforms, like, "Hey, didnt i see that in the garbage a few days ago?"

Way 6: When they march, throw something at them, like a plastic water bottle, a foam cup that u got from whataburger on the way, 또는 a 맥주 bottle.

Way 7: Dance to Jump on it so funny that theyll hav to laugh and fall. (Make sure that therye standing on the bleachers 또는 on the stairs.)
read more...
List by Snugglebum posted over a year ago
fan of it?
153 fans
save
I found this pasted on Konorai's Fanfiction.net profile, not my idea, but LOLZ just the same!

6 reasons not to mess with children:

Reason 1:

A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.

The teacher said it was physically impossible for a 고래 to 제비, 삼키기 a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small.

The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed 의해 a whale.

Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a 고래 could not 제비, 삼키기 a human; it was physically impossible.

The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah".

The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?"

The little girl replied, "Then 당신 ask him ".

Reason 2:

A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's work.

As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was.
read more...
Opinion by milorox18 posted over a year ago
fan of it?
62 fans
save
In case 당신 needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual labels on consumer goods:


On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping.(that's the only time I have to work on my hair)

On a bag of Fritos! ..You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (the shoplifter special)?

On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." (and that would be how?...)

On some Swanson 겨울왕국 dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (but, it's just a suggestion).

On Tesco's 티라미수, 티라미스 디저트 (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down." (well...duh, a bit late, huh!)

On Marks & Spencer 빵 Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating." (...and 당신 thought?...)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." (but wouldn't this save me 더 많이 time?)

On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car 또는 operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)
read more...
Opinion by milorox18 posted over a year ago
fan of it?
32 fans
save
The white man said, "Colored people are not allowed here." The black man turned around and stood up. He then said: "Listen sir...when I was born I was BLACK, When I grew up I was BLACK, When I'm sick I'm BLACK, When I go in the sun I'm BLACK, When I'm cold I'm BLACK, When I die I'll be BLACK. But 당신 sir, When you're born you're PINK, When 당신 grow up you're WHITE, When you're sick, you're GREEN, When 당신 go in the sun 당신 turn RED, When you're cold 당신 turn BLUE, And when 당신 die 당신 turn PURPLE. And 당신 have the nerve to call me colored?" The black man then sat back down and the white man walked away...
read more...
Opinion by milorox18 posted over a year ago
fan of it?
8 fans
save
YOUR GUY SIDE:


(X)You 사랑 hoodies.

(X)You 사랑 jeans.

()Dogs are better than cats.
(X)
It's hilarious when people get hurt.
(X)You've played with/against boys on a team.

()Shopping is torture.
()Sad 영화 suck.

()You own/ed an X-Box.

()Played with Hotwheel cars as a kid.

()At some point in time 당신 wanted to be a firefighter.

(X)You own/ed a DS, PS2 또는 Sega.

(X)You used to be obsessed with Power Rangers.

(X)You watch sports on TV.

Gory 영화 are cool.

(X)You go to your dad for advice.

()You own like a trillion baseball caps.

(X)You like going to high school football games.

(X)You used to/do collect football/baseball cards.

()Baggy pants are cool to wear.

(X)It's kind of weird to have sleepovers with a bunch of people.
(X)Green, black, red, blue 또는 silver are one of your favourite colours.
(X)You 사랑 to go crazy and not care what people think.

read more...
Opinion by sapherequeen posted over a year ago
fan of it?
2 fans
save
Sorry, I know this picture may annoy some of you and look senseless to others. But it makes me feel better when I see one of my favorite fictional characters :,(
*Sigh* Ok, I am having a very big problem with my 프로필 page; it has expired.

당신 see, when I was on 팬팝 like three weeks 이전 this organization called GreenAV falsified (lied) to me that I had over 41 viruses on my laptop. My stepfather bought GreenAV because we thought it would protect our computer. Boy, were we dead wrong. GreenAV happens to be this company made in Israel to steal identities of other people around the world and their money. GreenAV also infects your computer with viruses. Unfortunately, I discovered this too late. Now my laptop is at a repair shop, and my mom told me that the people at the repair 샵 deleted a lot of my files...including my 프로필 page.

So whenever I try to access it, it says the webpage can't be found, and once said it was expired.

So could someone please help me? I mean, does anyone know how to repair something like an expired webpage and teach me how to do so? 또는 better yet, can someone get papa, dave, michael, 또는 cliff for me, because maybe the F4 can help since 프로필 pages are a part of Fanpop's system.
read more...
Opinion by lilred96 posted over a year ago
fan of it?
2 fans
save
Mysterious 사랑
chapter seven


After art I said good bye too mathew,and started toward my car.

I was in the hall walking when I was overwhelmed with a feeling of being watched.
I looked behind me no one was there,so I kept walking.
I finaly reached my car but I was still feeling...watched.
In a painick I turned around real quick but still no one was there.
I thought I was going crazy.
but I got in my car fast and was ready to get out of there in a hurry I forgot my keys in my locker.
So I slowly got out and made my way too the door right before my principal locker the door she looked at me and said "June what are 당신 doing here?"
"I for got my keys in my locker can I please get them?"
"Yeah sure" She said
"Shyly I said "Thanks"
"No problem I do that all the time but I usaly leave them in my car." She said with a smile
read more...
Opinion by emma-may posted over a year ago
fan of it?
13 fans
save
WELDONE!

당신 HAVE FAILED TO IGNORE THIS MESSAGE TO 당신 - THE PERSON WHO FAILED!

dear fellow 팬팝 failures...

i have failed to bring 당신 the news of fail blog sooner...

some of 당신 may know but the rest of 당신 probabley fail to know what im talking about. well fail blog is the brand new fail site. it's stuffed full of posts of your 일 to 일 FAILS. it does have the occasional win... there are the most 랜덤 posts of failed 사진 shots of failures 게시됨 의해 dedicated failed fail-er fail finders some are plain stupid but it won't fail to make 당신 laugh! 당신 can take failed pictures your self and post them to fail blog.

fail blogs can be sent to many failed social networks such as...

failbook, failien reddit, digg this fail, failupon - and more...
read more...
List by Gracie1995 posted over a year ago
fan of it?
8 fans
save
Alabama:
Section, AL
Shorter, AL
St. Elmo, AL




Alaska:
Candle, AK
Dead Horse, AK
Krik, AK
Mary's Igloo, AK
Nightmute, AK
North Pole, AK



Arizona:
Monkey's Eyebrow,AZ
Why, AZ



Colorado:
Bonanza, CO
Hasty, CO
Hygiene, CO
Joes, CO
Last Chance, CO
Lay, CO
Paradox, CO
Yellow Jacket, CO



Delaware:
Bear, DE
Blades, DE



Florida:
Briny Breezes, FL
Cadillac, FL
Celebration, FL
Christmas, FL
Day, FL
Elfers, FL
Frostproof, FL
Havana, FL
Lorida, Florida
Mayo, FL
Panacea,FL
Picnic, FL
Sopchoppy, FL
Spuds, FL
Two Egg, FL
Wacahoota, FL
Yeehaw Junction, FL



Georgia:
Alley, GA
Enigma, GA
Experiment, GA
read more...
Fan fiction by kk99aa posted over a year ago
fan of it?
1 fan
save
*ps: G.A.B= gang against bullying*


I ran into the elementary school.My P.D.B.D (personal daily bully detector )was beeping like crazy! "This must be the place!" I said as i entered the hallways of the school."I hope the rest of the gang comes." I muttered under my breath as I rounded the corner only for my P.D.B.D ring like crazy.My eyes widend as I saw the wrost case of bullying i have ever seen. The kid's underwear was in a texas wedgie and they were smoking.The bully was smiling and for a 초 i thought of the devil.I sighed a sigh of relief when the rest of the gang arrived."Stop right there bully!" Diamond commanded.The kid looked hopeful now but he was still shedding tears of extreme pain."I can do what ever i want.Who are 당신 guys?My parents?" the bully sneered."We're your worst nightmare!" Ryan and Duncan Yelled in unison.(Ryan and Duncan are twins). We all leaped into action! Diamond grabbed the bully's 속옷, 속박 and pulled with all her might.The bully yelped for backup.I fought off the accomplises and punched there guts.I hung them on the flagpole and the twins untied the victim and Diamond hung the bully on the same flag pole."Oh oh...
read more...
List by thatguywashot posted over a year ago
fan of it?
20 fans
save
1. Smoke a pipe and respond to each point the professor makes 의해 waving it and saying, "Quite right, old bean!"
2. Wear X-Ray Specs. Every few minutes, ask the professor to focus the overhead projector.
3. Sit in the front row and spend the lecture filing your teeth into sharp points.
4. Sit in the front and color in your textbook.
5. When the professor calls your name in roll, respond "that's my name, don't wear it out!"
6. Introduce yourself to the class as the "master of the pan flute".
7. Give the professor a copy of The Watchtower. Ask him where his soul would go if he died tomorrow.
8. Wear earmuffs. Every few minutes, ask the professor to speak louder.
9. Leave permanent markers 의해 the dry-erase board.
10. Squint thoughtfully while giving the professor strange looks. In the middle of lecture, tell him he looks familiar and ask whether he was ever in an episode of Starsky and Hutch.
11. Ask whether the first chapter will be on the test. If the professor says no, rip the pages out of your textbook.
read more...
Opinion by milorox18 posted over a year ago
fan of it?
19 fans
save
WARNING: MAY NEED TISSUES FOR THESE:

A girl and guy were speeding over 100mph on a motorcycle

Girl:Slow down, I'm scared!

Guy:No, this is fun.

Girl:No, it's not. Please, I'm scared.

Guy:Then tell me 당신 사랑 me.

Girl:I 사랑 you, now slow down!

Guy: Now give me a big hug.

She gives him a big hug

Guy: Can 당신 take off my 헬멧 and put it on yourself, it's bothering me.

In the newspaper the 다음 day, a motorcycle had crashed into a building because of break failure. Two people were on it and only one survived. The truth was that halfway down the road, the guy realized his break wasn't working but he didn't want the girl to know. Instead he had her hug him and tell him one last time that she loved him. Then he had her put on his 헬멧 so that she would live even if he died.
read more...
Opinion by milorox18 posted over a year ago
fan of it?
39 fans
save
REASONS WHY GIRLS RULE:

1.We got off the 타이타닉 first

2. We get to flirt with systems support men who always return our calls, and are nice to us when we blow up our computers.

3. Our boyfriend's clothes make us look elfin & gorgeous. Guys look like complete idiots in ours.

4. We can be groupies. Male groupies are stalkers.

5. We can cry and get off speeding fines.

6. We've never lusted after a cartoon character 또는 the central female figure in a computer game.

7. Taxis stop for us.

8. Men die earlier, so we get to cash in on the life insurance.

9. We don't look like a frog in a blender when dancing.

10. Free drinks, Free dinners, Free 영화 ... (you get the point).

11. We can hug our 프렌즈 without wondering if she thinks we're gay.

12. We can hug our 프렌즈 without wondering if WE'RE gay.

13. New lipstick gives us a whole new lease on life.
read more...
Opinion by sarabeara posted over a year ago
fan of it?
18 fans
save
I originally got this in a forwarded text, and I thought I'd pass it along. The premise of it is just about girls and best 프렌즈 and how we're always there for each other no matter what.

Disclaimer: I did not create this! It's just a cute little poem I thought deserved to be shared :]


To my girls...
Here's to the shit we talk,
The guys we stalk,
The way we shop,
The laughs we can't stop.
The gossip we spill,
The looks that can kill.
To having each other's back,
Getting each other on the right track.
To the 다음 morning gettin' all the facts.
Drownin' in beers,
Spillin' the tears.
We'll stay together through the years.

read more...