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posted by Seanthehedgehog
Welcome to the block. And now for your hosts, Master Sword, and Tom Foolery.

Audience: *Cheering, clapping, and whistling*
Master Sword & Tom Foolery: *Standing in front of a house*
Tom: How is everypony doing today?
Audience: Good.
Master Sword: That word is used too often. Not only does it describe the way you're feeling, but it also describes... Ah, forget it.
Tom: Save the screw ups for the bloopers, okay?
Audience: *Laughing*
Tom: We have a special guest on our show today, and his name is Nocturnal Mirage.
Audience: *Cheering*
Mirage: *Arrives*
Master Sword: Hey, good to see 당신 again....
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posted by karpach_13
Blonde Cop


This blonde cop stops a blonde driver and asks for identification.

The blonde driver looks all around in her 지갑 and can’t find her license. “I must have left it at home, officer.”

“Well, do 당신 have any kind of identification on you?” asks the cop.

The blonde takes out a pocket mirror and says, “I do have this picture of me.”

“Let me see it,” says the cop. She holds up the mirror and looks in it. Then she says, “Sorry. If I had known 당신 were a police officer, I wouldn’t have stopped you.”



Civic Lesson

In a high school civics class, they were discussing the qualifications...
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posted by australia-101
Desktop Fun Prank

This works best on someone without much computer knowledge. If 당신 know of someone who is constantly talking about how stupid their PC is, 또는 always seem to be lucky enough to get the newest virus before anyone else...this trick is for them.



You will need:

- Access to their computer
- Ability to take screenshots, change desktop wallpaper, and other basic computer skills


How this prank works:
You take a screenshot of someone's desktop (with 또는 without apps running 또는 photoshopping "enhancements"), than place that image as their desktop wallpaper. If 당신 are decent with using photoshop...
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posted by IloveMyLord
The scholar does not consider gold and jade to be precious treasures, but loyalty and good faith.
Confucius
Loyalty to petrified opinion never yet broke a chain 또는 freed a human soul.
Mark Twain
An ounce of loyalty is worth a pound of cleverness.
Elbert Green Hubbard

Loyalty means nothing unless it has at its 심장 the absolute principle of self-sacrifice.
Woodrow T. Wilson
Loyalty ... is a realization that America was born of revolt, flourished in dissent, became great through experimentation.
Henry S. Commager
Total loyalty is possible only when fidelity is emptied of all concrete content, from...
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posted by ShadowProve13
Tell the undertaker that he can't close the coffin until 당신 find your contact lens.

Punch the body and tell people that he hit 당신 first.

Tell the widow that you're the deceased's gay lover.

Ask someone to take a snapshot of 당신 shaking hands with the deceased.

At the cemetery, play taps on a kazoo.

Walk around tellin people that you've seen the will and they're not in it.

Ask the widow to give 당신 a kiss.

Drive behind the widow's limo and keep honking your horn.

Tell the undertaker that your dog just died and ask if he can sneak him into the coffin.

Put a hard-boiled egg in the mouth of the...
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posted by JonasLuver1
Why Guys 사랑 Girls:

1. The way they always smell good even if it’s just shampoo
2. The way they always find the right spot on our shoulder
3. How cute they look when they sleep
4. The ease in which they fit into our ams
5. The way they 키스 당신 ad make everything alright in the world
6. How cute they are when they eat
7. The way they take hours to get dressed but in the it’s all worthwhile
8. The way they are always warm even if it’s minus 30 degrees
9. The way the look good no matter what they wear
10. The way she fished for compliments even though 당신 both know she’s the most beautiful...
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posted by KateKicksAss
 This is your new mascot. All hail the bunny!
This is your new mascot. All hail the bunny!
Of course, if 당신 are TRULY random, 당신 shouldn't even need a guide, O_O

Randomness, randomosity, randomology, whatever 당신 may call it, is using improvisation to create original humorous phrases 또는 monologues 또는 pine cones on the spot. 'Randomosity' is fun to express in the presence of 프렌즈 또는 logging companies, but can quickly become extremely obnoxious. Have fun with your randomness, don't force it. Remember, if 당신 got it, Flaunt it!

Steps

1. Break free of conventional rules. Finishing your sentences is not mandatory, merely optional and 당신 can do it on Tuesdays but not on Wednesdays...
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1. Call themselves ugly.
-You're beautiful. So what if 당신 don't look like a movie 별, 스타 because there's always someone prettier than that movie star.
-Be yourself.

2. Call themselves fat.
-Just because 당신 사랑 to eat doesn't necessarily mean your fat. I eat so much 음식 in one 일 you'd think I'm gonna go feed an army.
-If 당신 want to eat, eat. If people don't like it then 당신 throw whatever you're eating at them.

3. Twerk.
-Stop twerking! Especially if 당신 don't have no ass.

4. Care what people think of them.
-Fuck those people because you're worrying about someone 당신 may never see again 또는 someone...
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posted by XxKeithHarkinxX
jnrm:
ugh... your depressed AGAIN...
8:00pmXxKeithHarkinxX:
Aye.
Do 당신 want to knwo why?
8:01pmjnrm:
not again..... thats like the 10000000th time this month
8:01pmXxKeithHarkinxX:
first time actually
8:12pmjnrm:
uh huh...
8:13pmXxKeithHarkinxX:
My god, it's help if 당신 actually supported me instead of treating it liek someone kinda of joke
8:14pmjnrm:
Well im sorry but 당신 say the same thing every time taylor, i just have a hard time beleiving 당신 now after 당신 keep saying the same thing over and over again
8:14pmXxKeithHarkinxX:
You don't even knwo what it's about this time
8:16pmjnrm:
yah well ive got a...
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posted by selenagomezfan7
found this on the net:

50 Fun Things To Do At Wal-Mart

1. Take shopping carts for the express purpose of filling them and stranding them at strategic locations.

2. Ride those little electronic cars at the front of the store.

3. Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten 분 intervals throughout the day.

4. Start playing Calvinball; see how many people 당신 can get to 가입하기 in.

5. Contaminate the entire auto department 의해 sampling all the spray air fresheners.

6. Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of gift wrap.

7. Leave cryptic messages on the typewriters.

8. Re-dress the mannequins...
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posted by Insane4ever
저기요 so this is the 3rd part of my story,changed a little,sorry for misspells n if 당신 didnt see the 이전 2 parts 당신 have a button under the 기사 2 see all my articles...n chose the amnesia story ones....

So our character is walking around the desert.....well lets see whats he thinking about,lets be him....


Characters point of view:
im starwing,thirsty,dont know where the hell i am.im trying to keep my self sane,but it isnt working.i decided couse i dont know my name i will have to think of one......il have to think of a name for my self,"how many people do that eh.maybe i could call my...
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Q: What do elves learn in school?

A: The Elf-abet!

Q: What's the most 인기 wine at Christmas?
A: "I don't like sprouts" !

Q: If athletes get athletes foot, what do astronauts get?
A: Missletoe!

Q: What do 당신 get when 당신 십자가, 크로스 a snowman with a vampire?
A: Frostbite.

Q: Why was Santa's little helper depressed?
A: Because he had low elf esteem.

Q: Why does Santa have 3 gardens?
A: So he can ho-ho-ho.

Q: Where do polar bears vote?
A: The North Poll.

Q: What do 당신 get when 당신 십자가, 크로스 an archer with a gift-wrapper?
A: Ribbon hood.

Q: Why do birds fly south for the winter ?
A: Because it's to far to...
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posted by milorox18
"Friends forever‚" 당신 promised.
"Together till the end."
We did everything with each other.
You were my best friend.

When I was sad‚ 당신 were 의해 my side.
When I was scared‚ 당신 felt my fear.
You were my best support-
If I needed you‚ 당신 were there.

You were the greatest friend‚
You always knew what to say:
You always made everthing seem better.
As long as we had each other‚
Everything would be okay.

But somewhere along the line‚
We slowly came apart.
I was here‚ 당신 were there‚
It tore a hole in my heart.

Things were changing‚
Our cheerful 음악 reversed its tune.
It was like having salt...
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1: KANE AND LYNCH DEADMEN:
This game was my childhood.. Somehow, admittedly my parents were very loose, long as we knew it was fake we were allowed to play violent video games. 또는 least we liked to sneak them as mom and dad didn't much pay attention to what we did in that regard.. Anyway the best way to play this game is the same way it's best to play Army of Two 또는 Left 4 Dead, play it 2 player, with a close friend.. That's why I have so many fond memories, it's not the game itself but the memories of playing it with friends.. I have never played the sequel, but don't much want to either.....
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Wax the ceiling.
Loosen the lug nuts on your dad's new car.
Drop your cat from a high place, to see if it really does land on all four feet.
Repeat above until failure.
Rearrange political campaign signs.
Sharpen your teeth.
Play Houdini with one of your siblings.
Braid your 개 hair.
Clean and polish your belly button.
Water your dog...see if he grows.
Wash a tree.
Knight yourself and some close friends.
Found the Jim Jones' School of Modern Bartending.
Flirt with an evergreen.
Scare Steven King.
Give your cat a mohawk.
Purr.
Mow your carpet.
Rake your carpet (to clean up the clippings.)...
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posted by kitkat709477
Find the 3 and u will get a 키스 tommo​row SSSSS​SSSSS​SSSSS​SSSSS​SSSSS​SSSSS​SSSSS​S SSSSS​SSSSS​SSSSS​SSSSS​SSSSS​SSSSS​SSSSS​SS SSSSS​SSSSS​SS3SS​SSSSS​SSSSS​SSSSS​SSSSS​SSS SSSSS​SSSSS​SSSSS​SSSSS​SSSSS​SSSSS​SSSSS​SSSS SSSSS​SSSSS​SSSSS​SSSSS​SSSSS​SSSSS​SSSSS​SSSSS​ SSSSS​SSSSS​SSSSS​SSSSS​SSSSS​SSSSS​SSSSS​SSSSS​SSS SSSSS​SSSSS​SSSSS​SSSSS​SSSSS​SSSSS​SSSSS​SSSSS​SSSSS​ find the B! DON'​​​T skip 또는 ur wish wont come true.​​​.​​​. ​ ​ ​ RRRRR​RRRRR​RRRRR​RRRRR​RRRRR​RRRRR​R...
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posted by lucius_malloy
"We must start with the children."
- Doris Twitchell Allen

Some history
In 1946, Dr. Doris Allen had an idea that eventually came to change the lives of thousands of children and adults across the globe. If kids were given the chance to learn about other cultures and make international friends, they would 의해 default, be less willing to fight said friends. Thus they would choose to work towards world peace.
What started out as a single camp with delegates from eight countries in 1951 has now expanded to seven different international activities, with over 190,000 people having participated in over...
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These are supposedly actual signs that have appeared at various locations:

1.ADVERTISING SIGN:
A sign infront of an advertising agency in south super highway,"Rome wasn't build in a day.If it was,we would have hired the contractor."

2.VALENTINE CARDS:
"Now available in multi-packs."

3.IN A RESTAURANT:
"Open seven days a week and weekends."

4.IN A CEMETERY:
"People are prohibited from picking 꽃 from any but their own graves."

5.ON A ROLLER COASTER:
"Watch your heads."

6.ON THE GROUNDS OF A PUBLIC SCHOOL:
"No trespassing without permission."

7.ON A TENNESSEE HIGHWAY:
"When this sign is underwater,this road is impossible to pass."

8.IN FRONT OF NEW CAR-WASH:
"If 당신 can't read this, it's time to wash your car."

9.IN FRONT OF USED CARS :
"Why go elsewhere to be cheated, come here first."

10.OUTSIDE A COUNTRY SHOP:
"We buy 정크 and sell antiques."

P.S. 당신 can tell 더 많이 in your comments.
- Act like a spy / secret agent for the day, when at work 또는 out and about ?

- At the bottom/top of escalators shout "SHIT MY SHOELACE !"

- Ask 랜덤 people if they want to see your "belly button " ?

- Bark like an angry dog at people in the 거리 또는 shopping center !

- Become a paparazzi for your friends, follow them around with a camera whilst shouting their name ?

- Make funny faces at strangers to make them laugh !

- Make up crazy facts about 랜덤 things and tell them to strangers as though 당신 are very smart.

- Make sound effects for everyday actions !

- Out of nowhere, 또는 when it is quiet,...
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Ten doesn't quite cut it for me; so here are five 더 많이 places that would be lovely to visit.

Greece

Greece is another country I discovered 의해 searching up its beaches. Greece is 집 to a 담홍색, 핑크 sand 바닷가, 비치 and I have always wanted to go to one of those. I was also very intrigued 의해 the beauty of Navagio beach.With it's alluring cliff and white sand.



If 당신 don't fancy a trip to the beach, Meteora seems like a fascinating place to try instead. It's basically a landscape straight out of 판타지 novels--with monasteries resting upon natural (and humongous) rock pillars.



Perhaps 당신 are...
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