Not So Smart, Need A Sign?
Number One Idiot
I am a medical student currently doing a rotation in toxicology at the poison control center.
Today, this woman called in very upset because she caught her little daughter eating ants.
I quickly reassured her that the ants are not harmful and there would be no need to bring her daughter into the hospital.
She calmed down and at the end of the conversation happened to mention that she gave her daughter some ant poison to eat in order to kill the ants.
I told her that she better bring her daughter into the emergency room right away. Here's your sign, lady. Wear it with pride.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Number Two Idiot
Early this year, some Boeing employees on the airfield decided to steal a life 뗏목 from one of the 747s.
They were successful in getting it out of the plane and home.
Shortly after they took it for a float on the river, they noticed a Coast Guard helicopter coming toward them.
It turned out that the chopper was homing in on the emergency locator beacon that activated when the 뗏목 was inflated.
They are no longer employed at Boeing.
Here's your sign, guys. Don't get it wet; the paint might run.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Number Three Idiot
A man, wanting to rob a downtown Bank of America, walked into the Branch and wrote this, “Put all your muny in this bag.”
While standing in line, waiting to give his note to the teller, he began to worry that someone had seen him write the note and might call the police before he reached the teller's window.
So he left the Bank of America and crossed the 거리 to the Wells Fargo Bank.
After waiting a few 분 in line, he handed his note to the Wells Fargo teller.
She read it and, surmising from his spelling errors that he wasn't the brightest light in the harbor, told him that she could not accept his stickup note because it was written on a Bank of America deposit slip and that he would either have to fill out a Wells Fargo deposit slip 또는 go back to Bank of America.
Looking somewhat defeated, the man said, “OK” and left.
He was arrested a few 분 later, as he was waiting in line back at Bank of America. Don't bother with this guy's sign. He probably couldn't read it anyway.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Number Four Idiot
A motorist was unknowingly caught in an automated speed trap that measured his speed using radar and photographed his car.
He later received in the mail a ticket for $50 and a 사진 of his car.
Instead of payment, he sent the police department a photograph of $50.
Several days later, he received a letter from the police that contained another picture, this time of handcuffs.
He immediately mailed in his $50.
Wise guy ... But 당신 still get a sign.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Number Five Idiot
A guy walked into a little corner store with a shotgun and demanded all of the cash from the cash drawer.
After the cashier put the cash in a bag, the robber saw a bottle of Scotch that he wanted behind the counter on the shelf. He told the cashier to put it in the bag as well, but the cashier refused and said, “Because I don't believe 당신 are over 21.”
The robber said he was, but the clerk still refused to give it to him because she didn't believe him.
At this point, the robber took his driver's license out of his wallet and gave it to the clerk.
The clerk looked it over and agreed that the man was in fact over 21 and she put the Scotch in the bag.
The robber then ran from the store with his loot.
The cashier promptly called the police and gave the name and address of the robber that he got off the license.
They arrested the robber two hours later.
This guy definitely needs a sign.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Idiot Number Six
A pair of Michigan robbers entered a record 샵 nervously waving revolvers.
The first one shouted, “Nobody move!”
When his partner moved, the startled first bandit shot him.
This guy doesn't even deserve a sign.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Idiot Number Seven Arkansas:
Seems this guy wanted some 맥주 pretty badly.
He decided that he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and run.
So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his head at the window. The cinder block bounced back knocking him unconscious.
It seems the liquor store window was made of Plexi-Glass.
The whole event was caught on videotape.
Yep, here's your sign.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Idiot Number Eight
I live in a semi-rural area
We recently had a new neighbor call the local township administrative office to request the removal of the Deer Crossing sign on our road.
The reason: “Too many deer are being hit 의해 cars out here! I don't think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore.”Take the sign - Please!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Stay Alert!
They walk among us ... they Reproduce ...
Number One Idiot
I am a medical student currently doing a rotation in toxicology at the poison control center.
Today, this woman called in very upset because she caught her little daughter eating ants.
I quickly reassured her that the ants are not harmful and there would be no need to bring her daughter into the hospital.
She calmed down and at the end of the conversation happened to mention that she gave her daughter some ant poison to eat in order to kill the ants.
I told her that she better bring her daughter into the emergency room right away. Here's your sign, lady. Wear it with pride.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Number Two Idiot
Early this year, some Boeing employees on the airfield decided to steal a life 뗏목 from one of the 747s.
They were successful in getting it out of the plane and home.
Shortly after they took it for a float on the river, they noticed a Coast Guard helicopter coming toward them.
It turned out that the chopper was homing in on the emergency locator beacon that activated when the 뗏목 was inflated.
They are no longer employed at Boeing.
Here's your sign, guys. Don't get it wet; the paint might run.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Number Three Idiot
A man, wanting to rob a downtown Bank of America, walked into the Branch and wrote this, “Put all your muny in this bag.”
While standing in line, waiting to give his note to the teller, he began to worry that someone had seen him write the note and might call the police before he reached the teller's window.
So he left the Bank of America and crossed the 거리 to the Wells Fargo Bank.
After waiting a few 분 in line, he handed his note to the Wells Fargo teller.
She read it and, surmising from his spelling errors that he wasn't the brightest light in the harbor, told him that she could not accept his stickup note because it was written on a Bank of America deposit slip and that he would either have to fill out a Wells Fargo deposit slip 또는 go back to Bank of America.
Looking somewhat defeated, the man said, “OK” and left.
He was arrested a few 분 later, as he was waiting in line back at Bank of America. Don't bother with this guy's sign. He probably couldn't read it anyway.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Number Four Idiot
A motorist was unknowingly caught in an automated speed trap that measured his speed using radar and photographed his car.
He later received in the mail a ticket for $50 and a 사진 of his car.
Instead of payment, he sent the police department a photograph of $50.
Several days later, he received a letter from the police that contained another picture, this time of handcuffs.
He immediately mailed in his $50.
Wise guy ... But 당신 still get a sign.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Number Five Idiot
A guy walked into a little corner store with a shotgun and demanded all of the cash from the cash drawer.
After the cashier put the cash in a bag, the robber saw a bottle of Scotch that he wanted behind the counter on the shelf. He told the cashier to put it in the bag as well, but the cashier refused and said, “Because I don't believe 당신 are over 21.”
The robber said he was, but the clerk still refused to give it to him because she didn't believe him.
At this point, the robber took his driver's license out of his wallet and gave it to the clerk.
The clerk looked it over and agreed that the man was in fact over 21 and she put the Scotch in the bag.
The robber then ran from the store with his loot.
The cashier promptly called the police and gave the name and address of the robber that he got off the license.
They arrested the robber two hours later.
This guy definitely needs a sign.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Idiot Number Six
A pair of Michigan robbers entered a record 샵 nervously waving revolvers.
The first one shouted, “Nobody move!”
When his partner moved, the startled first bandit shot him.
This guy doesn't even deserve a sign.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Idiot Number Seven Arkansas:
Seems this guy wanted some 맥주 pretty badly.
He decided that he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and run.
So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his head at the window. The cinder block bounced back knocking him unconscious.
It seems the liquor store window was made of Plexi-Glass.
The whole event was caught on videotape.
Yep, here's your sign.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Idiot Number Eight
I live in a semi-rural area
We recently had a new neighbor call the local township administrative office to request the removal of the Deer Crossing sign on our road.
The reason: “Too many deer are being hit 의해 cars out here! I don't think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore.”Take the sign - Please!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Stay Alert!
They walk among us ... they Reproduce ...
O_O I 사랑 THE SHOW SO 랜덤 I KNOW THIS DOESNT GO WITH THIS CLUB BUT ITS CALLED RANODM DO U GET IT GET IT I MAY BE FAST AND I I CAN I CAN ICAN CINA AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH LOL U ARE SO NICE U ARE SO NICE DONT DENYYYYYY
me: AHHHHHHHHHHHH OK OK FRED! CALM DOWN
fred: ok SO I 사랑 ICE CREMA AND CAKE AND STUFF keth: ur weird
fred: SHUT Up!!! SO AND I LIKE STICKERS AND STUFF AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!
me: FRED! calm down ur going to fast! OK OK CUT THE SHOW CUT THE SHOW! ok i think he ate to much 캔디 freddd fred: OK I A- *falls on ground
me: OH MY GOSH 프레드 당신 OK!! ice cream o_o
me: AHHHHHHHHHHHH OK OK FRED! CALM DOWN
fred: ok SO I 사랑 ICE CREMA AND CAKE AND STUFF keth: ur weird
fred: SHUT Up!!! SO AND I LIKE STICKERS AND STUFF AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!
me: FRED! calm down ur going to fast! OK OK CUT THE SHOW CUT THE SHOW! ok i think he ate to much 캔디 freddd fred: OK I A- *falls on ground
me: OH MY GOSH 프레드 당신 OK!! ice cream o_o
User: I'll do it when I'm pregnant.
Cleverbot: Are 당신 really typing now 또는 is it all computerised.
User: Well come on man, you're a small guy. What size shoe do 당신 wear? I wear a size 13. 당신 look like a 9 또는 ... What, like an 8?
Cleverbot: And you're a guy! You've got tiny feet!
User: You're exactly right. I'm just sayin', you're right.
Cleverbot: Do 당신 think all these 질문 are coming from 1 person?
User: 당신 keep doing that and I'm gonna drop this kid right here.
Cleverbot: I'm sorry, you're just not as smart as 당신 used to be.
User: They say that this should be served at room temperature, but it's best cold: Revenge.
Cleverbot: Not quite alive?! 당신 are a machine. Why can't 당신 accept this?
Cleverbot: Are 당신 really typing now 또는 is it all computerised.
User: Well come on man, you're a small guy. What size shoe do 당신 wear? I wear a size 13. 당신 look like a 9 또는 ... What, like an 8?
Cleverbot: And you're a guy! You've got tiny feet!
User: You're exactly right. I'm just sayin', you're right.
Cleverbot: Do 당신 think all these 질문 are coming from 1 person?
User: 당신 keep doing that and I'm gonna drop this kid right here.
Cleverbot: I'm sorry, you're just not as smart as 당신 used to be.
User: They say that this should be served at room temperature, but it's best cold: Revenge.
Cleverbot: Not quite alive?! 당신 are a machine. Why can't 당신 accept this?