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1.    Unplug the refrigerator.
2.    Turn the 오븐 on.
3.    Rearrange the furniture. (Turn a bedroom into a dining room, and vice versa.)
4.    Hide the remote.
5.    Hide the television.
6.    Hide the pets.
7.    Change the answering machine message.
8.    Turn off the answering machine.
9.    Change the speed dial numbers.
10.    Change the alarm clock time to twelve hours earlier.
11.    Add an extra goldfish to the goldfish bowl.
12.    Leave a condom wrapper under a sofa cushion.
13.    Make yourself a meal. Be polite and wash the dishes.
14.    See how much pay-per-view porn 당신 can order in one day.
15.    Set the TiVo to record nothing but infomercials.
16.    Leave a note on their computer that says "Thanks for the files."
17.    Leave a note anywhere that says "I'll be back."
18.    Leave a note listing a website address. Set up a website and post a 사진 of yourself sitting on their toilet. (Don't forget to wear a ski mask.)
19.    Replace a crucifix with Mickey Mouse.
20.    Install video surveillance equipment. Leave a tape of yourself installing it.
21.    Paint "Helter Skelter" on a wall.
22.    Replace 벽 사진 with 사진 of someone else's family.
23.    Replace products with similar products of a different brand. If they own Heinz ketchup, replace it with Hunt's. If they own Tide laundry detergent, replace it with All.
24.    Tie a nylon string across each doorway at shin level.
25.    Paint their bathrooms black.
26.    Paint their mirrors black.
27.    Paint their windows black.
28.    Nail their windows shut.
29.    Put a skeleton in a closet.
30.    Stuff a 베개 with live crickets. (Available at your local pet store.)
31.    Hang dead things from the ceiling.
32.    Wrap a miscellaneous animal organ in aluminum foil and leave it in the freezer.
33.    Empty the sugar container and replace it with Sweet & Low.
34.    Fill every glass in the 부엌, 주방 cabinet with water. (They might not spill the 초 또는 third glasses, but fill them all anyway.)
35.    Turn off the phone ringers.
36.    Leave the stereo, alarm clock, and 텔레비전 volume set to maximum.
37.    Exchange the contents of two clothing drawers.
38.    Grease the banisters.
39.    Leave counterfeit paw prints up a wall, ending at a ceiling vent.
40.    Put a rubber 간물, 피 클 in the 간물, 피 클 jar. Replace the jar's label with a label identical in every way except for the phone number for complaints. (I could tell 당신 what phone number to include, but why don't 당신 figure it out?)
41.    Call for 음식 delivery. Repeat two dozen times quickly before leaving.
42.    Make urine ice cubes.
43.    Pee in the shampoo.
44.    Take the book jackets off the hardcover 책 and put them around multiple copies of the same cheap book 당신 purchased previously at a dollar store. If 당신 can get copies of a book with blank pages, even better.
45.    Unscrew the light bulbs.
46.    Hide the toilet paper.
47.    Put their possessions into piles based on color.
48.    Make a bathtub full of iced tea.
49.    Bring in a small, battery-powered recording device. Turn it on and play a looping recording of a young girl whispering, "Jesus is coming." Unscrew a ceiling vent and throw it in as far as 당신 can.
50.    Plant weeds in the flowerpots.

By: Jason Roth
added by dimentioSPM
Source: ???
added by Dream-On
added by victoria7011
Source: 페이스북
added by Usui--takumi
Source: My friend
added by tamar20
added by Smib
added by alizoula
added by TDIlover226
Source: Various websites
added by Cliff040479
Source: http://www.flickr.com/photos/77371316@N00/72816738/
added by EminemAddict09
Source: my awesomeness
added by ladolcevita
Source: Hmmm... Um,well EW.com, Everglow, Mugglenet, me!, forgot the last
posted by Bluekait
An expert farmer is outstanding in her field.

An incompetent ship captain grounds the warship he walks on.

Camels live in Camelfornia.

Cannibals like to meat people.

Hands are like bells, especially when they're wrung.

How about the 곰 that was hit 의해 an 18-wheeler and splattered all over the place? They said it was a grizzly accident.

How about the man who ran through a screen door? He strained himself.

If life is like a bowl of cherries, what's the 건포도 for living?

In some places fog will never be mist.

Once upon a time, a tribe of cannibals caught a saint sent to them as a missionary...
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posted by nmdis
"Solo"


You speak to me
And in your words I hear a melody
But in the twilight it's so hard to see
What's wrong for me

I can't resist
Until 당신 give the truth a little twist
As if you're gonna get away with this
You're not sorry

I can't believe I fell for this

I fell through the hole
Down at the bottom of your soul
Didn't think 당신 could go
So low
Look at what you've done
You're losing me
Here's what you've won
Got me planning to go
Solo
Solo

당신 sing to me
Too bad 당신 couldn't even stay on key
If your life is such a mystery
Why don't 당신 stick to acting?

Here 당신 go again...
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posted by nmdis
"Piercing"


Living in fear
Is not what 당신 had
In mind for me
But holding to you
Is so hard
I cling to what I see

In a world where my emotions
Seem to rule my every move
They will challenge my devotion
To seek and know the truth

You're piercing me
This self will bleed
You're killing all
Of my securities
Lord, help me see the reality
That all I'll ever need is You

Here in this haze a distant light
Seems to draw me near
But in the shadow of my doubt
My faith just disappears

In a world where my emotions
Seem to rule my every move
They will challenge my devotion
To seek and know the truth

You're...
continue reading...
posted by nmdis
IceCold
She fell in 사랑 with a dope boy
Black diamonds on the neck of that dope boy
Big body Benz for that dope boy
Love every tattoo on that dope boy
She sheds tears for that dope boy
Shit, it is what it is for that dope boy
Handle minor biz for that dope boy
But the reward is major, so on and so forth
She can tell 당신 의해 the Greyhound
She can show 당신 how to stay down
I can tell 당신 'bout to break down
VS1's all in my 암캐, 암 캐 watch face now
Straight G's for your low esteem
A.P's for the whole team
As I run away from my obituary
Walking in the shit that'll get 당신 buried
Miami's mine like I'm Pat Riley
Baselines...
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posted by nmdis
BEAT


It's a big bad world but I ain't ashamed,
I like the lights in my hand
And the beat in my face.
It's a big bad world but I ain't ashamed,
I like the lights in my hand
And the beat in my face.

Be-be-beat in my face, be-be-beat in my face,
The lights in my hand, and the beat in my face

Be-be-beat in my face, be-be-beat in my face,
The lights in my hand, and the beat in my face

I'mma make 당신 bend your back
Oh my god, this beat is crack
When I do this, 당신 do that

I feel like dancing when I hear that sound,
Just wanna do it, eh, just wanna do it, eh.
I feel like dancing when I hear that sound,
Just wanna...
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Ooh ooh ooh
Ooh ooh ooh

Can 당신 feel me
When I think about you?
With every breath I take
Every minute
No matter what I do

My world is an empty place
Like I've been wandering the desert
For a thousand days (oh)
Don't know if it's a mirage
But I always see your face, baby

[Chorus:]
I'm missing 당신 so much
Can't help it, I'm in love
A 일 without 당신 is like a 년 without rain
I need 당신 의해 my side
Don't know how I'll survive
A 일 without 당신 is like a 년 without rain (oh, whoa)
Whoa, oh, whoa

The stars are burning
I hear your voice in my mind (voice in my mind)
Can't 당신 hear me calling?
My 심장 is yearning
Like...
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posted by nmdis
Come and Get it
[chorus]
When you're ready come and get it (x2)
Na na na (x3)

When you're re-e-a-dy (x2)

When you're ready come and get it
Na na na (x3)

You ain’t gotta worry it’s an open invitation
I’ll be sittin’ right here real patient
All 일 all night I’ll be waitin’ standby
Can’t stop because I 사랑 it, hate the way I 사랑 you
All 일 all night maybe I’m addicted for life, no lie.
I’m not too shy to show I 사랑 you, I got no regrets.
I 사랑 당신 much to, much to hide you, this 사랑 ain’t finished yet. This 사랑 ain’t finished yet…
So baby whenever you’re ready…

[chorus]
When...
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Chapter One: Salvador

Silver Monroe skipped up the stone steps to Westover High School. Silver could have easily gotten almost any boy she wanted; only she had yet to find the one meant for her. She walked swiftly down the long hallways to her first class; math.

After about ten 분 the boy sitting behind her raised his hand, asking for water. Silver had been in mostly the same classes as him almost the entire 년 and she had never heard him talk before. She had never really even noticed him before. He had long, blonde hair that was almost white and black eyes. The teacher, Mrs. Taylor dismissed...
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June 17th 100,000,000 BC 12 O'clock at night
Four children are born, quadruplets, the youngest born at the strike of midnight. The first child is named Queverial, the 초 Ceelarion, the third Ierailiasha, and the last one is named Mist. The father decides the last child should have a complex name as the others do but the mother has made up her mind that Mist is the perfect name.
Then she sends them through the mirror of fate to find there destiny and they may never return if they do not find it in time.

January 21st 90,000,000 BC 3:30 P.M.
The children grow up living in the chosen lands...
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