I reviewed Jaws,,
Lets review the only movie of the series, that isn't complete shit.
A series starting with the stupidest moment is the 상어 jumping on the boat.. mean WHAT!?
And ends with a 상어 roaring, fucking roaring,
And a man escaping a plane being dragged down 의해 a 상어 and escapes without a scratch "and nobody asking how". And that Sharks travel thousands of miles for revenge, and turns out the said revenge was poorly planned out, cause Michael literary jumps into the water, and Jaws swims away, even though the entire point of Jaws coming all that was the sole purpose of killing Michael.
Anyway, he's my sarcastic review of a famish movie that caused Sharks too be hunted down, and for people too make so many 상어 movies, 당신 wanna take Jaws and Slap it in the face, saying, "YOU CREATED MONSTERS!"
So, let's get this mockery started..
And yes.. I seen this movie before.. Grew up with it 더 많이 또는 less.. Dad showed me it.. And ever sense, I been one traumatized kid..
Anyway, here we go..
During a late-night 바닷가, 비치 party on Amity Island, a young woman goes skinny dipping (just because). While treading water, she is violently pulled under 의해 a unseen force.
Okay.. All kidding aside.. NOT seeing Bruce the shark, is WAY scarier.. It's why we're all show scared. We can't friggin see it.
It sure screwed ME up.
Anyway, with the murder being all over the news.
The new Police chief. Brody, demands the 바닷가, 비치 closed.
Mayor overrules him cause.. Well.. He's a fucking idiot.
So, as expected, another 상어 related murder takes place. And Brody shuts down the beach.
And the town is mad at him. Demanding too open the 바닷가, 비치 too be open.
What? We're 당신 all smoking weed while the poor little boy was being murdered?
Than again, that would explain why nobody reacted too it, till they saw the blood. Not when the kid was screaming two feet away from them.
Anyway, thinking Brody is being paranoid, yeah. Only paranoid.. That's clearly why two people are found dead within the same week.
Local fishermen catch a large tiger shark, the mayor proclaims the beaches safe, because, 당신 know, "death = 더 많이 money".
Hooper disputes it being the same predator, confirming this after no human remains are found inside it. Hooper and Brody find a half-sunken fisherman's vessel while searching the night waters in Hooper's boat. Underwater, Hooper retrieves a sizable great white shark's tooth embedded in the submerged hull, but drops it after being startled 의해 the fisherman's corpse (an "good" jump scare).
Mayor discounts Brody and Hooper's claims that a huge great white 상어 is responsible, even though people fucking SAW it kill a kid, and refuses to close the beaches.
How did this guy even become mayor? He's either a sociopath 또는 the stupidest person alive.
On the Fourth of July weekend, tourists pack the beaches. Following a juvenile prank (dicks), the real 상어 (Bruce) enters a nearby estuary, leading too my 가장 좋아하는 seen. We briefly see Bruce, as he kills his 다음 victim.
That always scared me the most in this movie, never got that vision out of my head.
Though the leg kinda ruined it for me.
But for some unexplained reason, bruce doesn't kill Michael. Just swims bye. Leaving him traumatized.
Skip ahead.
Quint, Brody and Hooper set out on Quint's boat, the Orca, to hunt Bruce.
While Brody lays down a chum line, Quint waits for an opportunity to hook the shark. Without warning, Bruce appears behind the boat, leading too Brody's famish line, and Quint estimates its length at 25 feet (7.6 m). Quint harpoons the 상어 with a tethered barrel but it drags the barrel underwater and disappears.
At nightfall, as the three swap stories, the Bruce returns unexpectedly, ramming the boat's hull and killing the power. The men work through the night repairing the engine. In the morning, Brody attempts to call the Coast Guard, but Quint smashes the radio, enraging Brody.
After a long chase, Quint harpoons another barrel into the shark. The line is tied to the stern, but the Bruce drags the 보트 backwards, swamping the deck and flooding the engine compartment, forcing Quint to sever the line to prevent the transom from being pulled out. He then heads toward shore, intending to lure the 상어 to shallower waters and suffocate it, but the overtaxed engine quits.
With the Orca slowly sinking, the trio attempt a riskier approach: Hooper dons scuba gear and enters the water in a shark-proof cage, intending to lethally inject the 상어 with strychnine using a hypodermic spear. The 상어 demolishes the cage before Hooper can inject it, but he manages to escape to the seabed.
Little known fact. Hooper dies in the actual book.
Anyway, Bruce then attacks the 보트 directly, LITERARY jumping the shark, 의해 jumping on the boat, and devouring Quint.
Trapped on the sinking vessel, Brody stuffs a pressurized scuba tank into the Bruce's mouth, and shoots the tank with Quint's rifle, giving the OTHER famish line. before blowing the fucking shit out of Bruce.
With Bruce gone, Hooper resurfaces, and he and Brody paddle to Amity Island clinging to 보트 wreckage.
And that's Jaws.. Still holds up.. I really like this one..
Lets review the only movie of the series, that isn't complete shit.
A series starting with the stupidest moment is the 상어 jumping on the boat.. mean WHAT!?
And ends with a 상어 roaring, fucking roaring,
And a man escaping a plane being dragged down 의해 a 상어 and escapes without a scratch "and nobody asking how". And that Sharks travel thousands of miles for revenge, and turns out the said revenge was poorly planned out, cause Michael literary jumps into the water, and Jaws swims away, even though the entire point of Jaws coming all that was the sole purpose of killing Michael.
Anyway, he's my sarcastic review of a famish movie that caused Sharks too be hunted down, and for people too make so many 상어 movies, 당신 wanna take Jaws and Slap it in the face, saying, "YOU CREATED MONSTERS!"
So, let's get this mockery started..
And yes.. I seen this movie before.. Grew up with it 더 많이 또는 less.. Dad showed me it.. And ever sense, I been one traumatized kid..
Anyway, here we go..
During a late-night 바닷가, 비치 party on Amity Island, a young woman goes skinny dipping (just because). While treading water, she is violently pulled under 의해 a unseen force.
Okay.. All kidding aside.. NOT seeing Bruce the shark, is WAY scarier.. It's why we're all show scared. We can't friggin see it.
It sure screwed ME up.
Anyway, with the murder being all over the news.
The new Police chief. Brody, demands the 바닷가, 비치 closed.
Mayor overrules him cause.. Well.. He's a fucking idiot.
So, as expected, another 상어 related murder takes place. And Brody shuts down the beach.
And the town is mad at him. Demanding too open the 바닷가, 비치 too be open.
What? We're 당신 all smoking weed while the poor little boy was being murdered?
Than again, that would explain why nobody reacted too it, till they saw the blood. Not when the kid was screaming two feet away from them.
Anyway, thinking Brody is being paranoid, yeah. Only paranoid.. That's clearly why two people are found dead within the same week.
Local fishermen catch a large tiger shark, the mayor proclaims the beaches safe, because, 당신 know, "death = 더 많이 money".
Hooper disputes it being the same predator, confirming this after no human remains are found inside it. Hooper and Brody find a half-sunken fisherman's vessel while searching the night waters in Hooper's boat. Underwater, Hooper retrieves a sizable great white shark's tooth embedded in the submerged hull, but drops it after being startled 의해 the fisherman's corpse (an "good" jump scare).
Mayor discounts Brody and Hooper's claims that a huge great white 상어 is responsible, even though people fucking SAW it kill a kid, and refuses to close the beaches.
How did this guy even become mayor? He's either a sociopath 또는 the stupidest person alive.
On the Fourth of July weekend, tourists pack the beaches. Following a juvenile prank (dicks), the real 상어 (Bruce) enters a nearby estuary, leading too my 가장 좋아하는 seen. We briefly see Bruce, as he kills his 다음 victim.
That always scared me the most in this movie, never got that vision out of my head.
Though the leg kinda ruined it for me.
But for some unexplained reason, bruce doesn't kill Michael. Just swims bye. Leaving him traumatized.
Skip ahead.
Quint, Brody and Hooper set out on Quint's boat, the Orca, to hunt Bruce.
While Brody lays down a chum line, Quint waits for an opportunity to hook the shark. Without warning, Bruce appears behind the boat, leading too Brody's famish line, and Quint estimates its length at 25 feet (7.6 m). Quint harpoons the 상어 with a tethered barrel but it drags the barrel underwater and disappears.
At nightfall, as the three swap stories, the Bruce returns unexpectedly, ramming the boat's hull and killing the power. The men work through the night repairing the engine. In the morning, Brody attempts to call the Coast Guard, but Quint smashes the radio, enraging Brody.
After a long chase, Quint harpoons another barrel into the shark. The line is tied to the stern, but the Bruce drags the 보트 backwards, swamping the deck and flooding the engine compartment, forcing Quint to sever the line to prevent the transom from being pulled out. He then heads toward shore, intending to lure the 상어 to shallower waters and suffocate it, but the overtaxed engine quits.
With the Orca slowly sinking, the trio attempt a riskier approach: Hooper dons scuba gear and enters the water in a shark-proof cage, intending to lethally inject the 상어 with strychnine using a hypodermic spear. The 상어 demolishes the cage before Hooper can inject it, but he manages to escape to the seabed.
Little known fact. Hooper dies in the actual book.
Anyway, Bruce then attacks the 보트 directly, LITERARY jumping the shark, 의해 jumping on the boat, and devouring Quint.
Trapped on the sinking vessel, Brody stuffs a pressurized scuba tank into the Bruce's mouth, and shoots the tank with Quint's rifle, giving the OTHER famish line. before blowing the fucking shit out of Bruce.
With Bruce gone, Hooper resurfaces, and he and Brody paddle to Amity Island clinging to 보트 wreckage.
And that's Jaws.. Still holds up.. I really like this one..
