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posted by LocalArtistist
Do 당신 work at Subway? Because 당신 just gave me a footlong.
Hi, do 당신 want to have my children? [No] OK, can we just practice then?
There will only be 7 planets left after I destroy Uranus.
You're like my little toe, because I'm going to bang 당신 on every piece of furniture in my home.
I'm no weather man, but 당신 can expect 더 많이 than a few inches tonight.
Forget that! Playing doctor is for kids! Let's play gynecologist.
저기요 babe, how about a 피자 and a f**k? [No] What's wrong, don't 당신 like pizza?
Do 당신 work for UPS? I could have sworn I saw 당신 checking out my package.
Your breasts remind me of Mount Rushmore - my face should be among them.
저기요 baby, I think 당신 just made my two 의해 four into a four 의해 eight.
I'll give 당신 a nickel if 당신 tickle my pickle.
당신 are so selfish! You're going to have that body the rest of your life and I just want it for one night.
What's the speed of sex? [what?] 68. Because at 69 당신 have to turn around!
I'm an astronaut and my 다음 mission is to explore Uranus.
If I had AIDS, would 당신 have sex with me? [No] Well, I don't, so let's go.
Excuse me, but do 당신 give head to strangers? [No] Well then, allow me to introduce myself.
Miss, If you've 로스트 your virginity, can I have the box it came in?
(Use index finger to call someone over then say) I made 당신 come with one finger, imagine what I could do with my whole hand.
Hold out two fingers and say: "Why should a woman masturbate with these two fingers?" (I don't know.) "'Cause they're mine sweetheart."
Let's go back to my room and do some math: Add a bed, subtract our clothes, divide your legs, and multiply.
Do 당신 wanna come to the Marines, 또는 would your rather have a Marine come into you?
There are 265 본즈 in the human body. How would 당신 like one more?
Why don't 당신 come over here, sit on my lap and we'll talk about the first thing that pops up?
저기요 baby, as long as I have a face, you'll have a place to sit.
Do 당신 take Visa?
How do 당신 like your eggs? Poached, scrambled 또는 fertilized?
당신 smell... We should go take a 샤워 together.
Would 당신 like a hotdog to go with those buns?
Are 당신 a virgin? [No] Prove it!
당신 bring a whole new meaning to the word, "edible."
I don't know what 당신 think of me, but I hope it's X-rated.
I'm a writer, you're a writer, how about we get naked together and put some 시 in motion?
"I have this magic watch that can actually talk to me. Seriously, it's saying something right now. It says that you're not wearing any underwear, is that true?." [No.] "Oh wait, my watch is an 시간 fast!
I like your hair, your eyes, your smile... I like every bone in your body... Especially mine!
Lets play "Titanic." When I say "Iceburg!" 당신 do down.
Would 당신 like to try an Australian kiss? It is just like a French kiss, but down under.
This is a condom. If we put it on, we can have sex.
Do 당신 believe in free love? [No] Then how much do 당신 cost?
Gee, that's a nice set of legs, what time do they open?
Hi, I'm gay. Do 당신 think 당신 can convert me?
If I'm a pain in your ass... We can just add 더 많이 lubricants.
[Walk into her chest] "If they weren't sooo large, it wouldn't have happened!"
What are 당신 doing tonight? Besides me, of course?
Will 당신 be my girlfrien? I left out the 'd' cause you'll get that later!
My name is Skittles... wanna taste my rainbow?
Are those pants on sale? Cause they're 100% off at my place!
I'm with the TSA and I need to perform a full body cavity search, for security reasons.
I only have 12 hours to live... please don't let me die a virgin.
I'm bigger and better than the Titantic - only 200 women went down on that vessel!
What is a nice girl like 당신 doing in a dirty mind like mine?
What has 132 teeth and holds back the Incredible Hulk? My zipper.
With my IQ and your body, we could make a race of superchildren and conquer the earth!
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Source: trollposts@tumblr
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LOL
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posted by KatiiCullen94
1.If 당신 know that the guy is a Knicks fan, get front seats to a Knicks game and then prevent him from watching the final. Send him to the refreshments stand to get 당신 a 콜라 instead, ensuring that he misses seeing that last crucial game-winning basket.

2.Take him to a chick flick marathon. If that isn't annoying enough, 퀴즈 him throughout the movie about what he's thinking. Ensure that a big beefy 팬 of Sleepless in Seattle gets annoyed and sweetly tell him that your boyfriend could wipe the floor with him. Only be comforting after the guy gets a black eye.

3.Let him cook 공식 만찬, 저녁 식사 for you-...
continue reading...
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