Things I Am Not Allowed To Do At Hogwarts:
1) The Giant Squid is not an appropriate 날짜 to the Yule Ball
2) I am not allowed to sing, "We're Off to See the Wizard" while skipping off to the Headmaster's office
3) I am not allowed to take out a life insurance policy on Harry Potter
4) I am not allowed to ask Dumbledore to show 당신 the pointy hat trick
5) I am not allowed to give Remus Lupin a flea collar
6) I am not allowed to bring a Magic 8 Ball to Divination
7) I am not allowed to say that Seamus Finnegan is "after my lucky charms"
8) I am not allowed to start a betting pool on this years Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher. It's taste-less, tacky, and not a good money-making strategy.
9) I am not allowed to joke about Remus' "time of the month"
10) I am not allowed to make light saber sounds with my wand
11) I am not allowed to give Hagrid Pokemon cards and convince him they're real animals
12) I am not to refer to the Accio charm as "The Force"
13) I am not allowed to claim that growing 마리화나 또는 hallucinogenic mushrooms is "Extra Herbology Work"
14) I will not give 당신 my socks to make hand-puppets of the Slytherin-House mascot
15) If the thought of a spell makes me giggle for 더 많이 than 15 seconds, assume that I am not allowed to use it
16) I will not lock the Slytherin's and Gryffindor's in a room together and bet on which House will come out alive
17) I will not charm the 슈츠 of armor to do a rendition of "The Knights of the Round Table" for the 크리스마스 Feast
18) I am not allowed to declare an official "Hug A Slytherin Day"
19) I am not allowed to sing my own personal spy 음악 while wandering the hallways
20) It is not necessary to yell, "BURN!" Whenever Snape takes points away from Gryffindor
21) I will not say the phrase, "Get a Life" to Voldemort
22) First years are not to be fed to Fluffy
23) I will never ask Harry if his Voldie senses are tingling
24) I will stop referring to showering as "Giving Moaning-Myrtle an eye-full"
25) I will not make, "OMG" a spell
26) It is not necessary to yell, "BAM" every time I Apparate
27) I will not steal Gryffindor's sword from Dumbledore's office and use it to patrol the hallways
28) I will not poke Hufflepuff's with spoons, nor shall I insist that their color's indicate that they're "covered in bee's"
29) "I've heard every joke possible about Oliver Wood's name" is not a challenge
30) I will not go to class sky clad
31) I will not use Umbridge's 퀴즈 to write, "Told 당신 I was Hard Core"
32) If a class-mate falls asleep, I will not take advantage of that and draw a Dark Mark on their arm
33) House Elves are not acceptable replacements for Bludgers
34) I will not start every potion's class 의해 asking Snape if the potion is acceptable as Body Lotion
35) I will not call the Weasly twins, "bookends"
36) I will not call the Patil twins, "bookends"
37) I will not call the Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher Kenny, even if he is wearing an 주황색, 오렌지 anorak
38) There is no such thing as a were-thylacine
39) I will not give Luna Lovegood Coast-To-Coast AM transcripts
40) Tricking a school House Elf to strip of it's clothing does not make it mine. Yes, even when I yell out "PWND!"
41) I do not weigh the same as a Duck
42) I do not have a Dalek Patronous
43) I will not lick Trevor
44) Gryffindor Courage does not come in bottles labeled, "Firewhiskey"
45) I will not dress up as Voldemort on Halloween
46) It is a bad idea to tell Snape he takes himself too seriously
47) I will not tell Sir Cadogan that The Knight's Who Say Ni have challenged him to a duel, then have all the students say, 'Ni' from various directions
48) I am not the King of the Potato People and I do not have a flying carpet
49) "To conquer the Earth with an army of flying monkeys" is not a career choice
50) I will not tell the first years that Professor Snape is the voice of God.
Funny quotes!!!!
I will only stop being your friend when a mute guy tells a deaf guy that a blind guy saw a legless guy walk on water.
Learn the rules so 당신 know how to properly break them
당신 have enemies? Good. That means 당신 stood up for something sometime in your life.
Those are my principals, and if 당신 don't like them...
... well i have others.
I 사랑 irony. 당신 know what's ironic? How the people who know the least about 당신 have the most to say.
War doesn't determine who's right. War determines who's left.
Dear McDonald's Cashier,
Stop looking at me like that. Last time i checked, there were no age limits for Happy Meals.
Sincerely, Don't Forget The Toy
I'm sorry 당신 don't like me. I'm sorry 당신 think I suck. But most of all, I'm sorry I don't give a crap.
Flying is easy, just throw yourself at the ground... and miss.
It's a beautiful day! Now watch some idiot screw it up -_-
If you're gonna embarrass, yourself, do it right!
Get the facts first, 당신 can distort them later.
Is it just me 또는 does everything seem funnier when you’re suppose to be quiet?
Emotional without all the emo... it's called being human.
Dear Humans,
Remember when your parents told 당신 we were 더 많이 afraid of you, then 당신 were of us? We're not.
Sincerely, Spiders
10 years. Trillions of dollars. Thousands of soldiers dead. State of the art technology. The US finally found Bin Laden... in his house.
Yes, I do smile stupidly at the computer when someone says something cute.
Did 당신 fall from heaven? Cuz it looks like 당신 landed on your face -_-
당신 get 집 from school. There is a giant box in the front living room with the word 'FRAGILE' on it. This can only mean one thing...
BUBBLE WRAP!
Me: Can I use the bathroom?
Teacher: I don't know, can you?
Me: When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since 당신 were a teacher, 당신 would know that. Oh well, i guess I'll do it your way. May I go to the bathroom?
Teacher:...
Everyone thinks a girl's dream is to find the perfect guy... pfffttttt! Yeah right! Our dream is to eat without getting fat.
UGH! It’s not that I hate you... um... lemme put it this way, if 당신 were on fire, and I had some water, I’d drink the water.
총 don't kill people. People kill people. Well I think 총 help because if 당신 just stood around saying "BANG" it wouldn't do much.
Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. It's just that yours is stupid.
When.I.Read.Stuff.Like.This.The.Voice.In.My.Head.Takes.Pauses.
Keep saying those words. My head is held high. 당신 wanna bring me down? I dare 당신 to try.
If 당신 ask me a 질문 I don’t know, I’m not gonna answer.
It doesn’t matter what it is, it’s automatically cool if it glows in the dark!
When I say I won’t tell anybody… my best friend doesn’t count.
Some people were dropped as a baby…. 당신 were clearly thrown at a wall.
Every time I see the word “Explain” on a test, I die a little inside.
Laughing so hard, no noise comes out; so 당신 just sit there clapping like a retarded seal.
Dear Teacher,
I understand 당신 have to talk to the person in front of me but could please remove your fat butt from my face? Thanks.
Teenagers: the most misunderstood people who are treated like children but are expected to act like adults
Okay, now I'm going to ask a 질문 millions of girls all over the world want to know... boys, when did it become a high fashion to show us your stupid ugly boxers?!
According to parents, we're too young for love, too old for fun, too smart to play dumb and too immature for certain movies. It's no wonder teens are so rebellious! There's nothing else to do!
I wish life was like a musical.
and in the middle of math,
i could just jump out of my seat, throw up my papers and start singing.
And then the whole math class would pull this dance routine out of their ass, and we would all know the song we were spontaneously making up...
then sit down like nothing happened.
No matter how old 당신 are, no matter how much of a baddass 당신 think 당신 are, if a toddler hands 당신 their ringing toy phone, 당신 answer it.
Get the facts first, 당신 can distort them later.
Don't steal. The government hates the competition.
If at first 당신 don't succeed, change the rules.
Tell the truth and run.
Smile! It makes them wonder what you're up to.
프렌즈 come, and 프렌즈 go, but enemies accumulate.
Power corrupts. Absolute power is kind of neat.
Ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make ye mad.
All things considered, insanity may be the only reasonable alternative.
Life is like a box of chocolates - it's full of nuts.
If 당신 can't beat them, 가입하기 them. Then take over.
When angry, count to four. When very angry, swear.
Enjoy every 분 of life. There's plenty of time to be dead.
Education is important. School, however, is another matter
1. I don't suffer from insanity I enjoy every 분 of it.
2. When life gives 당신 lemons... MAKE YAOI!
3. It takes 47 muscles to frown, 17 to smile but it doesn't take any to sit there with a dumb look on your face.
4. If 당신 always stop to smell the 장미 sooner 또는 later you'll inhale a bee.
5. I am worse than evil... I am the author!
6. Sorry about being late...I got 로스트 on the path of life.
7. No 당신 don't get it 당신 think 당신 get it which is different than actually getting it get it?
8. There are 3 kinds of people, those who make it happen, those who watch it happen and those who don't know what the hell is happening.
9. People are boring, they are only amusing if 당신 push them down a flight of stairs.
10. When life gives 당신 lemons make 포도 주스 and let the world wonder how 당신 did it.
11. I AM NOT CRAZY! My reality is just different than yours.
12. When life gives 당신 lemons squeeze them in somebody's eyes and RUN!
13. Uh...define 'normal' for me again.
14. There are three rings in marriage. The engagement ring, the wedding ring, and the suffering.
15. It's not incest! It's brotherly love! They're different!
16. "Wear short sleeves! Support your right to bare arms!"
17. "Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only 당신 get the warm feeling that it brings."
18. "Three blondes are in an elevator when the elevator suddenly stops and the lights go out. They try using their cell phones to get help, but have no luck. Even the phones are out.
After a few hours of being stuck with no help in sight, one blonde says to the others "I think the best way to call for help is 의해 yelling together." The others agree with the first, so they all inhale deeply and begin to yell loudly "Together, together, together.""
19. Never raise your hand to your children; it leaves your midsection unprotected.
21. I ran into my ex the other day, then I put the car in reverse and ran over him again.
20. Life isn't about the number of breaths we take, but the moments that take our breath away. Like choking.
22. There are plenty 더 많이 물고기 in the sea, but who wants to go out with a fish?
23. Some people are like a slinky. They have absolutely no use; but 당신 can't help smile, when 당신 see one fall down the stairs.
24. Due to recent cutbacks and until further notice, the light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off.
25. I lay at my 침대 last night, counting the stars, and I thought to myself: Where the fuck did my ceiling go?!
26. Ever notice how DYING is at the end of STUDYING?
27. When someone annoys 당신 it takes 42 muscles to frown about it but it only takes 4 muscles to extend your arm and 펀치 the crap out of them.
28. There's a fine line between fishing and just standing on the 육지, 쇼 어 like an idiot.
29. I believe in luck: how else can 당신 explain the success of those 당신 don't like?
30. Don't 당신 wish there were a knob on the TV to turn up the intelligence? There's one marked "Brightness," but it doesn't work.
31. Money can't buy happiness, but poverty can't buy ANYTHING.
32. That which does not kill me had better run pretty damn fast.
33. Nothing travels faster than light, with the possible exception of bad news, which follows its own rules
34. …didn’t need an excuse to go over to the Dark Side…
35. True 사랑 has no happy ending, because True 사랑 has no ending.
36. Don't treat others as 당신 want to be treated, treat others as they treat you.
37. Therapist= The Rapist
38. Unfortunatly, Stupid people are everywhere.
39. 당신 know how to find out your stupid?
40. When 당신 don't know that the numbers 20 and 21 are switched
42. And that there is no 41
43. And 당신 don't know what the hell I'm talking about.
44. Angry woman = dead man
당신 say BABY PINK
I say BLOOD RED
당신 say HANNAH MONTANA
I say BOWLING FOR SOUP
당신 say ZAC EFRON
I say ROBIN
당신 say RAP
I say ROCK
당신 say I’m WEIRD
I say YES I AM
10 BEST THINGS ABOUT BEING A GIRL
10. We can wear guy clothes, but if they wear ours they get funny looks
9. At least one girl always survives in horror movies
8. We can put cotton between our toes and paint our nails without feeling the least bit silly
7. Our magazines have horoscopes
6. Girls with guy first names like Taylor sound cool, but it doesn't work the other way around
5. Our 프렌즈 don't say "hi" but punching us in the arm
4. Yes PMS sucks, but at least we have an excuse to lie around eating 초콜릿 once a month
3. Make-up covers any imperfections we may have
2. If we flirt with a cop, we can get out of a speeding ticket
1. Girl Talk... 당신 know, the way we all just understand each other without having to explain a thing
Man: Where have 당신 been all my life?
Woman: Hiding from you.
Man: Haven't I seen 당신 someplace before?
Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.
Man: Is this 좌석 empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be if 당신 sit down.
Man: Your place 또는 mine?
Woman: Both. 당신 go to yours, and I'll go to mine.
Man: So, what do 당신 do for a living?
Woman: I'm a female impersonator.
Man: 저기요 baby, what's your sign?
Woman: Do not enter.
Man: How do 당신 like your eggs in the morning?
Woman: Unfertilized.
Man: Your body is like a temple.
Woman: Sorry, there are no services today.
Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: But would 당신 stay there?
Man: If I could see 당신 naked, I'd die happy.
Woman: If I saw 당신 naked, I'd probably die laughing.
Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put u and i together
Woman: Really, I'd put f and u together
Man: Your eyes they're amazing.
Woman: Seeing your back would be pretty amazing.
Man: It’s a good thing I have my 도서관, 라이브러리 card, because I’m checking 당신 out.
Woman: Oh, sorry, I’m reserved for someone else
The only reason people get 로스트 in thought is because it's unfamiliar territory.
Last night I lay in 침대 looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling.
Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.
I am not a vegetarian because I 사랑 animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants.
The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
If 당신 die in an elevator, be sure to push the Up button.
Duct tape is like the force. It has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the world together
Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. It's just that yours is stupid.
Flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss
When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room.
There are worse things in life than death. Have 당신 ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?
Girls are like phones. We 사랑 to be held, talked too but if 당신 press the wrong button you'll be disconnected!
Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.
A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.
Everyone has photographic memory; some just don't have the film.
Remember: Don't Insult the Alligator till after 당신 십자가, 크로스 the river.
Whatever it is -- I didn't do it!
Wear short sleeves! Support your right to bare arms!
If 바비 인형 is so popular, why do 당신 have to buy her friends?
The only way to keep your health is to eat what 당신 don't want, drink what 당신 don't like, and do what you'd rather not.
The road to success is always under construction.
Ideas don't stay in some minds very long because they don't like solitary confinement.
There is a fine line between fishing and just standing on the 육지, 쇼 어 like an idiot.
Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain.
What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere? 'Hold my purse.'
Whatever women do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult.
Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.
Is it good if a vacuum really sucks?
It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it, but it's also true that we don't know what we've been missing until it arrives.
당신 know the speed of light; so what is the speed of dark ?
The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on.
The crime problem in New York is getting really serious. The other 일 the Statue of Liberty had both hands up.
Behind every successful man is a surprised woman.
Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?
I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.
Those who can't laugh at themselves leave the job to others.
Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, 'Where have I gone wrong?' Then a voice says to me, 'This is going to take 더 많이 than one night
A man in 사랑 is incomplete until he has married. Then he's finished.
Ask me no questions, and I'll tell 당신 no lies.
Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is the husband!
It's funny when people discuss 사랑 Marriage vs. Arranged. It's like asking someone, if suicide is better 또는 being murdered.
If your boss is getting 당신 down, look at him through the prongs of a fork and imagine him in jail.
For people that hate stereotypes. (BOLD the ones 당신 are.)
I'm SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic
I'm EMO, so I MUST cut my wrists.
I'm a NEGRO so I MUST carry a gun.
I'm BLONDE, so I MUST be a ditz
I'm JAMAICAN so I MUST smoke weed.
I'm HAITIAN so I MUST eat cat.
I'm JEWISH, so I MUST be greedy.
I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS.
I'm a LESBIAN, so I MUST have a sex-tape.
I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist.
I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch.
I'm a GAY RIGHTS SUPPORTER, so I WILL go to hell.
I'm an ATHEIEST, so I WILL go to hell
I don't have a RELIGION, so I MUST have no values 또는 morals
I'm REPUBLICAN, so I MUST not care about poor people.
I'm DEMOCRAT, so I MUST not believe in being responsible.
I am LIBERAL, so I MUST be gay.
I'm SOUTHERN, so I MUST be white trash.
I take (or used to take) ANIT-DEPRESSANTS, so I MUST be CRAZY.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST only want to get into your pants.
I'm IRISH, so I MUST have a bad drinking problem.
I'm INDIAN, so I MUST own a convenient store.
I'M NATIVE AMERICAN, so I MUST dance around a fire, screaming like a savage.
I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a whore...
I wear SKIRTS a lot, so I MUST be a slut.
I'm a PUNK, so I MUST do drugs.
I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob.
I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a goth 또는 emo.
I'm a WHITE GIRL, so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend.
I'm CUBAN, so I MUST spend my spare time rolling cigars.
I'm NOT A VIRGIN, so I MUST be easy.
I FELL IN 사랑 WITH A MARRIED MAN, so I MUST be a home-wrecking whore.
I'm a TEENAGE MOM, so I MUST be an irresponsible slut.
I'm POLISH, so I MUST wear my socks with my sandals
I'm ITALIAN, so I must have a "big one".
I'm EGYPTIAN, so I must be a TERRORIST!
I'm PRETTY, so I MUST not be a virgin.
I HAVE STRAIGHT A'S, so I MUST have no social life.
I DYE MY HAIR CRAZY COLORS, so I MUST be looking for attention.
I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS so I MUST be looking for attention.
I'm a VEGETARIAN, so I MUST be a crazy political activist.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be fucking them all.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GIRLS WHO ARE FRIENDS, so I MUST be a player.
I have BIG BOOBS, so I MUST be a hoe.
I'm COLOMBIAN, so I MUST be a drug dealer.
I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser.
I'm RUSSIAN, so I MUST be cool and that’s how Russians roll.
I'm GERMAN, so I must be a Nazi.
I hang out with GAYS, so i must be GAY TOO
I'm BRAZILIAN, so I MUST have a BIG BUTT.
I'm PUERTO RICAN, so I MUST look good and be conceited
I'm SALVADORIAN, so I MUST be in MS 13
I'm POLISH, so I MUST be greedy
I'm HAWAIIAN so I MUST be lazy
I'm PERUVIAN, so I MUST like llamas
I’m a STONER so I MUST be going in the wrong direction
I’m STRAIGHT EDGE so I must be violent.
I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly.. 또는 crazy.
I'm BLACK so I MUST 사랑 fried chicken and kool-aid.
I'm a GIRL who actually EATS LUNCH, so I MUST be fat.
I'm SINGLE, so I MUST be ugly
I'm a SKATER, so I MUST do weed and steal stuff
I'm a PUNK so I must only wear black and 날짜 only other punks
I'm MIXED so I must be screwed up.
I'm MUSLIM so I MUST be a terrorist.
I'm in BAND, so I MUST be a dork.
I'm BLACK so I MUST believe 예수님 WUZ A BROTHA
I'm MORMON so I MUST be perfect
I'm WHITE and have black 프렌즈 so I MUST think I'm black
I'm GOTH so I MUST worship the devil I'm HISPANIC, so I MUST be dirty.
I'm NOT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, so I MUST be a loser.
I'm PREPPY, so I MUST shun those who don't wear Abercrombie & Hollister.
I'm on a DANCE team, so I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.
I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naive.
I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob
I'm MEXICAN, so I MUST have hopped the border.
I got a CAR for my birthday, so I MUST be a spoiled brat.
I'm BLACK, so I MUST 사랑 watermelon
I'm BI, so I MUST think every person I see is hot.
I'm an ASIAN GUY, so I MUST have a small penis.
I'm a GUY CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be gay.
I'm a PREP, so I MUST be rich.
I don't like the sun, so I MUST be albino
I have a lot of FRIENDS, so I MUST 사랑 to drink and party.
I wear tight PANTS and I'm a guy, so I MUST be emo.
I couldn't hurt a FLY, So I MUST be a pussy.
I support GAY RIGHTS, so I MUST fit in with everyone.
I hang out with teenage drinkers and smokers, so I MUST smoke and drink too.
I have ARTISTIC TALENT, so I MUST think little of those who don't.
I don't like to be in a BIG GROUP, so I MUST be anti-social.
I have a DIFFERENT sense of HUMOR, so I MUST be crazy.
I tell people OFF, so I MUST be an over controlling bitch.
My hair gets GREASY a lot, so I MUST have no hygiene skills.
I'm DEFENSIVE, so I MUST be over controlling and a bitch.
I'm a NUDIST, so I MUST want everyone to see my boobs.
I read Comics, so I MUST be a loser.
I hang out with a FORMER PROSTITUTE.. So I MUST be a whore myself.
I'm a TEXAN, so I MUST ride a horse.
I’m a GOTH, so I MUST be a Satanist
I’m a CROSSDRESSER, so I must be homosexual.
I draw 아니메 so I MUST be a freak.
I am a FANGIRL so I MUST be a crazy, obsessed stalker.
I'm INTELLIGENT so I MUST be weak.
I am AMERICAN so I MUST be obese, loud-mouthed and arrogant.
I'm WELSH so I MUST 사랑 sheep
I’m a YOUNG WRITER, so I MUST be emo.
I’m CANADIAN, so I MUST talk with a funny accent.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST ditch my pregnant girlfriend.
I'm CANADIAN, so I MUST 사랑 hockey and beavers.
I'm DISABLED, so I MUST be on Welfare.
I WEAR A BIG SUNHAT when I go outside, so I MUST be stupid.
I like BLOOD, so I must be a VAMPIRE.
I'm an ALBINO, so I MUST be an evil person with mental abilities and is A MURDERER!
I'm ENGLISH, so I MUST speak with either a cockney 또는 a posh accent, 사랑 차 and cricket, and have bad teeth.
I’m WHITE, so I MUST be responsible for everything going wrong on the planet: past, present, and future.
I don't like 야오이 또는 YURI, so I must be a HOMOPHOBE
I’m not the most 인기 person in school, so I MUST be a loser
I care about the ENVIRONMENT...I MUST be a 나무, 트리 hugging hippy
I have a 팬 CHARACTER, so I MUST be an annoying Mary-sue.
I CHAT so I MUST be having cyber sex
I'm PAGAN so I MUST worship Satan
I'm CONSERVATIVE, so I MUST be against Abortion
I'm SWEDISH so I MUST be a tall blond blue-eyed lesbian.
I'm a LESBIAN so I MUST want to get with every single girl that I see.
I like CARTOONS, so I MUST be IRRESPONSIBLE.
I like READING, so I MUST be a LONER.
I have my OWN spiritual ideology; therefore I MUST be WRONG 또는 MISGUIDED.
I am WICCAN, so I MUST be a SATANIST.
I DISAGREE with my government, so I MUST be a TERRORIST.
I am a WITCH, so I MUST be and OLD HAG and fly on a broomstick.
I 사랑 YAOI, so I MUST be GAY.
I'm a PERSON, so I MUST be LABELED
I DON'T CURSE (much), so I MUST be an outcast
I like GAMES, 아니메 and COMICS, so I MUST be childish
I'm SWEDISH, therefore I MUST be WHITE.
I SPOT GRAMMATICAL ERRORS, so I MUST be a pedantic bastard.
I'm GOTHIC, so I MUST be mean.
I am STRONG, so I MUST be stupid.
I go to RENFAIRES, so I MUST talk weird, be a loser, and not be up with the times
I’m GAY so I’m after EVERY straight guy around.
I don’t want a BOYFRIEND so I MUST be Lesbian.
I'm NOT a CHRISTAIN so I MUST be converted.
I 사랑 marching band, so I MUST be a friendless freak.
I DRINK and SMOKE, so I MUST have no life.
I can't help pointing out mistakes so I MUST be an over-controlling perfectionist
I'm a PERFECTIONIST so I MUST check everything ten times, them burst into tears at one mistake
FAKE 나귀, 엉덩이 FRIENDS: Never ask for food.
REAL FRIENDS: Are the reason 당신 have no food.
FAKE 나귀, 엉덩이 FRIENDS: Call your parents Mr/Mrs.
REAL FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD/MOM.
FAKE 나귀, 엉덩이 FRIENDS: Bail 당신 out of jail and tell 당신 what 당신 did was wrong.
REAL FRIENDS: Will sit 다음 to 당신 saying “Damn … we fucked up … but that shit was fun!”
FAKE 나귀, 엉덩이 FRIENDS: Never seen 당신 cry.
REAL FRIENDS: Cry with you.
FAKE 나귀, 엉덩이 FRIENDS: Borrow your stuff for a few days then give it back.
REAL FRIENDS: Keep your shit so long they forget its yours.
FAKE 나귀, 엉덩이 FRIENDS: Know a few things about you.
REAL FRIENDS: Can write a book about you, with direct 인용구 from you.
FAKE 나귀, 엉덩이 FRIENDS: Will leave 당신 behind if that is what the crowd is doing.
REAL FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds 나귀, 엉덩이 that left you.
FAKE 나귀, 엉덩이 FRIENDS: Will knock on your front door.
REAL FRIENDS: Walk right in and say “I’M HOME!”
FAKE 나귀, 엉덩이 FRIENDS: Will take your drink away when they think you’ve had enough.
REAL FRIENDS: Will look at 당신 stumbling all over the place and say “Bitch, drink the rest of that, 당신 know we don’t waste.”
FAKE 나귀, 엉덩이 FRIENDS: Will talk shit to the person who talks shit about you.
REAL FRIENDS: Will knock them the fuck out!
FAKE 나귀, 엉덩이 FRIENDS: Say they are too busy to listen to your problems, but when it comes to them they expect 당신 to have all the time in the world.
REAL FRIENDS: Not only kick everything out of their schedule to listen to whats wrong, but help come up with vindictive plans to make 당신 feel a whole lot better!
FAKE 나귀, 엉덩이 FRIENDS: Say sorry when 당신 want to talk to them at odd hours of the night, 또는 even just hang out at odd hours.
REAL FRIENDS: Come right over and hang out with you, until 당신 either fall asleep, 또는 kick them out.
FAKE 나귀, 엉덩이 FRIENDS: Are for awhile.
REAL FRIENDS: Are for life.
~30 things to do in an elevator!~
1. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead while muttering: "Shut up, admit, all of 당신 just shut UP!"
2. Whistle the first seven notes of "It's a Small World" incessantly.
3. Crack open your 서류 가방 또는 purse, and while peering inside ask: "Got enough air in there."
4. Offer name 태그 to everyone getting on the elevator. Wear yours upside-down.
5. Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.
6. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act embarrassed when they open 의해 themselves.
7. Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask them to call 당신 Admiral.
8. On the highest floor, hold the door open and demand that it stay open until 당신 hear the penny 당신 dropped down the shaft go 'plink' at the bottom.
9. Stare, grinning, at another passenger for a while, and then announce: "I've got new socks on!"
10. When at least 8 people have boarded, moan from the back: "Oh, no, not now, bleeped motion sickness!"
11. Meow occasionally.
12. Holler "Chutes away!" whenever the elevator descends.
13. Walk on with a 냉각기 that says "human head" on the side.
14. Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce "You're one of THEM!" and 옮기기 to the far corner of the elevator.
15. Wear a puppet on your hand and talk to the other passengers 'through' it.
16. When the elevator is silent, look around and ask "is that your beeper?"
17. Say "Ding!" at each floor.
18. Say "I wonder what all these do?" and push the red buttons.
19. Listen to the elevator walls with a stethoscope.
20. Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers that this is your 'personal space.'
21. Announce in a demonic voice: "I must find a 더 많이 suitable host body."
22. Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
23. Wear 'X-Ray Specs' and leer suggestively at other passengers.
24. Stop at every floor, run off the elevator, then run back on.
25. Make farm animal noises
26. Start talking to the wall
27. Carry a stuffed animal with 당신 and talk to it
28. Carry a small object and start petting it while saying "My precious." in a demonic voice then laugh like a maniac
29. When one person is on ask them if they want to pet your cat and then purr at them.
30. Rip your clothes and stumble on to the elevator and tell them that 당신 just escaped from the mental ward and then laugh like a maniac.
1. 당신 accidentally enter your 비밀번호 on your microwave.
2. 당신 haven't played solitaire with real cards in years.
3. The reason for not staying in touch with your 프렌즈 is they don't have a screen name 또는 my space.
4. 당신 would rather look all over the house for the remote rather than just pushing the buttons on the TV.
6. Your boss doesn’t even have the ability to do your job.
7. As 당신 read this list keep nodding and smiling.
8. As 당신 read this list 당신 think of sending it to all your friends.
9. And 당신 were to busy to notice # 5
10. And 당신 scrolled back up to see if their was a # 5
11. Now you’re laughing at yourself stupidly.
12. 당신 fell for that, and 당신 know 당신 did.
1) The Giant Squid is not an appropriate 날짜 to the Yule Ball
2) I am not allowed to sing, "We're Off to See the Wizard" while skipping off to the Headmaster's office
3) I am not allowed to take out a life insurance policy on Harry Potter
4) I am not allowed to ask Dumbledore to show 당신 the pointy hat trick
5) I am not allowed to give Remus Lupin a flea collar
6) I am not allowed to bring a Magic 8 Ball to Divination
7) I am not allowed to say that Seamus Finnegan is "after my lucky charms"
8) I am not allowed to start a betting pool on this years Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher. It's taste-less, tacky, and not a good money-making strategy.
9) I am not allowed to joke about Remus' "time of the month"
10) I am not allowed to make light saber sounds with my wand
11) I am not allowed to give Hagrid Pokemon cards and convince him they're real animals
12) I am not to refer to the Accio charm as "The Force"
13) I am not allowed to claim that growing 마리화나 또는 hallucinogenic mushrooms is "Extra Herbology Work"
14) I will not give 당신 my socks to make hand-puppets of the Slytherin-House mascot
15) If the thought of a spell makes me giggle for 더 많이 than 15 seconds, assume that I am not allowed to use it
16) I will not lock the Slytherin's and Gryffindor's in a room together and bet on which House will come out alive
17) I will not charm the 슈츠 of armor to do a rendition of "The Knights of the Round Table" for the 크리스마스 Feast
18) I am not allowed to declare an official "Hug A Slytherin Day"
19) I am not allowed to sing my own personal spy 음악 while wandering the hallways
20) It is not necessary to yell, "BURN!" Whenever Snape takes points away from Gryffindor
21) I will not say the phrase, "Get a Life" to Voldemort
22) First years are not to be fed to Fluffy
23) I will never ask Harry if his Voldie senses are tingling
24) I will stop referring to showering as "Giving Moaning-Myrtle an eye-full"
25) I will not make, "OMG" a spell
26) It is not necessary to yell, "BAM" every time I Apparate
27) I will not steal Gryffindor's sword from Dumbledore's office and use it to patrol the hallways
28) I will not poke Hufflepuff's with spoons, nor shall I insist that their color's indicate that they're "covered in bee's"
29) "I've heard every joke possible about Oliver Wood's name" is not a challenge
30) I will not go to class sky clad
31) I will not use Umbridge's 퀴즈 to write, "Told 당신 I was Hard Core"
32) If a class-mate falls asleep, I will not take advantage of that and draw a Dark Mark on their arm
33) House Elves are not acceptable replacements for Bludgers
34) I will not start every potion's class 의해 asking Snape if the potion is acceptable as Body Lotion
35) I will not call the Weasly twins, "bookends"
36) I will not call the Patil twins, "bookends"
37) I will not call the Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher Kenny, even if he is wearing an 주황색, 오렌지 anorak
38) There is no such thing as a were-thylacine
39) I will not give Luna Lovegood Coast-To-Coast AM transcripts
40) Tricking a school House Elf to strip of it's clothing does not make it mine. Yes, even when I yell out "PWND!"
41) I do not weigh the same as a Duck
42) I do not have a Dalek Patronous
43) I will not lick Trevor
44) Gryffindor Courage does not come in bottles labeled, "Firewhiskey"
45) I will not dress up as Voldemort on Halloween
46) It is a bad idea to tell Snape he takes himself too seriously
47) I will not tell Sir Cadogan that The Knight's Who Say Ni have challenged him to a duel, then have all the students say, 'Ni' from various directions
48) I am not the King of the Potato People and I do not have a flying carpet
49) "To conquer the Earth with an army of flying monkeys" is not a career choice
50) I will not tell the first years that Professor Snape is the voice of God.
Funny quotes!!!!
I will only stop being your friend when a mute guy tells a deaf guy that a blind guy saw a legless guy walk on water.
Learn the rules so 당신 know how to properly break them
당신 have enemies? Good. That means 당신 stood up for something sometime in your life.
Those are my principals, and if 당신 don't like them...
... well i have others.
I 사랑 irony. 당신 know what's ironic? How the people who know the least about 당신 have the most to say.
War doesn't determine who's right. War determines who's left.
Dear McDonald's Cashier,
Stop looking at me like that. Last time i checked, there were no age limits for Happy Meals.
Sincerely, Don't Forget The Toy
I'm sorry 당신 don't like me. I'm sorry 당신 think I suck. But most of all, I'm sorry I don't give a crap.
Flying is easy, just throw yourself at the ground... and miss.
It's a beautiful day! Now watch some idiot screw it up -_-
If you're gonna embarrass, yourself, do it right!
Get the facts first, 당신 can distort them later.
Is it just me 또는 does everything seem funnier when you’re suppose to be quiet?
Emotional without all the emo... it's called being human.
Dear Humans,
Remember when your parents told 당신 we were 더 많이 afraid of you, then 당신 were of us? We're not.
Sincerely, Spiders
10 years. Trillions of dollars. Thousands of soldiers dead. State of the art technology. The US finally found Bin Laden... in his house.
Yes, I do smile stupidly at the computer when someone says something cute.
Did 당신 fall from heaven? Cuz it looks like 당신 landed on your face -_-
당신 get 집 from school. There is a giant box in the front living room with the word 'FRAGILE' on it. This can only mean one thing...
BUBBLE WRAP!
Me: Can I use the bathroom?
Teacher: I don't know, can you?
Me: When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since 당신 were a teacher, 당신 would know that. Oh well, i guess I'll do it your way. May I go to the bathroom?
Teacher:...
Everyone thinks a girl's dream is to find the perfect guy... pfffttttt! Yeah right! Our dream is to eat without getting fat.
UGH! It’s not that I hate you... um... lemme put it this way, if 당신 were on fire, and I had some water, I’d drink the water.
총 don't kill people. People kill people. Well I think 총 help because if 당신 just stood around saying "BANG" it wouldn't do much.
Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. It's just that yours is stupid.
When.I.Read.Stuff.Like.This.The.Voice.In.My.Head.Takes.Pauses.
Keep saying those words. My head is held high. 당신 wanna bring me down? I dare 당신 to try.
If 당신 ask me a 질문 I don’t know, I’m not gonna answer.
It doesn’t matter what it is, it’s automatically cool if it glows in the dark!
When I say I won’t tell anybody… my best friend doesn’t count.
Some people were dropped as a baby…. 당신 were clearly thrown at a wall.
Every time I see the word “Explain” on a test, I die a little inside.
Laughing so hard, no noise comes out; so 당신 just sit there clapping like a retarded seal.
Dear Teacher,
I understand 당신 have to talk to the person in front of me but could please remove your fat butt from my face? Thanks.
Teenagers: the most misunderstood people who are treated like children but are expected to act like adults
Okay, now I'm going to ask a 질문 millions of girls all over the world want to know... boys, when did it become a high fashion to show us your stupid ugly boxers?!
According to parents, we're too young for love, too old for fun, too smart to play dumb and too immature for certain movies. It's no wonder teens are so rebellious! There's nothing else to do!
I wish life was like a musical.
and in the middle of math,
i could just jump out of my seat, throw up my papers and start singing.
And then the whole math class would pull this dance routine out of their ass, and we would all know the song we were spontaneously making up...
then sit down like nothing happened.
No matter how old 당신 are, no matter how much of a baddass 당신 think 당신 are, if a toddler hands 당신 their ringing toy phone, 당신 answer it.
Get the facts first, 당신 can distort them later.
Don't steal. The government hates the competition.
If at first 당신 don't succeed, change the rules.
Tell the truth and run.
Smile! It makes them wonder what you're up to.
프렌즈 come, and 프렌즈 go, but enemies accumulate.
Power corrupts. Absolute power is kind of neat.
Ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make ye mad.
All things considered, insanity may be the only reasonable alternative.
Life is like a box of chocolates - it's full of nuts.
If 당신 can't beat them, 가입하기 them. Then take over.
When angry, count to four. When very angry, swear.
Enjoy every 분 of life. There's plenty of time to be dead.
Education is important. School, however, is another matter
1. I don't suffer from insanity I enjoy every 분 of it.
2. When life gives 당신 lemons... MAKE YAOI!
3. It takes 47 muscles to frown, 17 to smile but it doesn't take any to sit there with a dumb look on your face.
4. If 당신 always stop to smell the 장미 sooner 또는 later you'll inhale a bee.
5. I am worse than evil... I am the author!
6. Sorry about being late...I got 로스트 on the path of life.
7. No 당신 don't get it 당신 think 당신 get it which is different than actually getting it get it?
8. There are 3 kinds of people, those who make it happen, those who watch it happen and those who don't know what the hell is happening.
9. People are boring, they are only amusing if 당신 push them down a flight of stairs.
10. When life gives 당신 lemons make 포도 주스 and let the world wonder how 당신 did it.
11. I AM NOT CRAZY! My reality is just different than yours.
12. When life gives 당신 lemons squeeze them in somebody's eyes and RUN!
13. Uh...define 'normal' for me again.
14. There are three rings in marriage. The engagement ring, the wedding ring, and the suffering.
15. It's not incest! It's brotherly love! They're different!
16. "Wear short sleeves! Support your right to bare arms!"
17. "Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only 당신 get the warm feeling that it brings."
18. "Three blondes are in an elevator when the elevator suddenly stops and the lights go out. They try using their cell phones to get help, but have no luck. Even the phones are out.
After a few hours of being stuck with no help in sight, one blonde says to the others "I think the best way to call for help is 의해 yelling together." The others agree with the first, so they all inhale deeply and begin to yell loudly "Together, together, together.""
19. Never raise your hand to your children; it leaves your midsection unprotected.
21. I ran into my ex the other day, then I put the car in reverse and ran over him again.
20. Life isn't about the number of breaths we take, but the moments that take our breath away. Like choking.
22. There are plenty 더 많이 물고기 in the sea, but who wants to go out with a fish?
23. Some people are like a slinky. They have absolutely no use; but 당신 can't help smile, when 당신 see one fall down the stairs.
24. Due to recent cutbacks and until further notice, the light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off.
25. I lay at my 침대 last night, counting the stars, and I thought to myself: Where the fuck did my ceiling go?!
26. Ever notice how DYING is at the end of STUDYING?
27. When someone annoys 당신 it takes 42 muscles to frown about it but it only takes 4 muscles to extend your arm and 펀치 the crap out of them.
28. There's a fine line between fishing and just standing on the 육지, 쇼 어 like an idiot.
29. I believe in luck: how else can 당신 explain the success of those 당신 don't like?
30. Don't 당신 wish there were a knob on the TV to turn up the intelligence? There's one marked "Brightness," but it doesn't work.
31. Money can't buy happiness, but poverty can't buy ANYTHING.
32. That which does not kill me had better run pretty damn fast.
33. Nothing travels faster than light, with the possible exception of bad news, which follows its own rules
34. …didn’t need an excuse to go over to the Dark Side…
35. True 사랑 has no happy ending, because True 사랑 has no ending.
36. Don't treat others as 당신 want to be treated, treat others as they treat you.
37. Therapist= The Rapist
38. Unfortunatly, Stupid people are everywhere.
39. 당신 know how to find out your stupid?
40. When 당신 don't know that the numbers 20 and 21 are switched
42. And that there is no 41
43. And 당신 don't know what the hell I'm talking about.
44. Angry woman = dead man
당신 say BABY PINK
I say BLOOD RED
당신 say HANNAH MONTANA
I say BOWLING FOR SOUP
당신 say ZAC EFRON
I say ROBIN
당신 say RAP
I say ROCK
당신 say I’m WEIRD
I say YES I AM
10 BEST THINGS ABOUT BEING A GIRL
10. We can wear guy clothes, but if they wear ours they get funny looks
9. At least one girl always survives in horror movies
8. We can put cotton between our toes and paint our nails without feeling the least bit silly
7. Our magazines have horoscopes
6. Girls with guy first names like Taylor sound cool, but it doesn't work the other way around
5. Our 프렌즈 don't say "hi" but punching us in the arm
4. Yes PMS sucks, but at least we have an excuse to lie around eating 초콜릿 once a month
3. Make-up covers any imperfections we may have
2. If we flirt with a cop, we can get out of a speeding ticket
1. Girl Talk... 당신 know, the way we all just understand each other without having to explain a thing
Man: Where have 당신 been all my life?
Woman: Hiding from you.
Man: Haven't I seen 당신 someplace before?
Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.
Man: Is this 좌석 empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be if 당신 sit down.
Man: Your place 또는 mine?
Woman: Both. 당신 go to yours, and I'll go to mine.
Man: So, what do 당신 do for a living?
Woman: I'm a female impersonator.
Man: 저기요 baby, what's your sign?
Woman: Do not enter.
Man: How do 당신 like your eggs in the morning?
Woman: Unfertilized.
Man: Your body is like a temple.
Woman: Sorry, there are no services today.
Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: But would 당신 stay there?
Man: If I could see 당신 naked, I'd die happy.
Woman: If I saw 당신 naked, I'd probably die laughing.
Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put u and i together
Woman: Really, I'd put f and u together
Man: Your eyes they're amazing.
Woman: Seeing your back would be pretty amazing.
Man: It’s a good thing I have my 도서관, 라이브러리 card, because I’m checking 당신 out.
Woman: Oh, sorry, I’m reserved for someone else
The only reason people get 로스트 in thought is because it's unfamiliar territory.
Last night I lay in 침대 looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling.
Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.
I am not a vegetarian because I 사랑 animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants.
The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
If 당신 die in an elevator, be sure to push the Up button.
Duct tape is like the force. It has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the world together
Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. It's just that yours is stupid.
Flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss
When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room.
There are worse things in life than death. Have 당신 ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?
Girls are like phones. We 사랑 to be held, talked too but if 당신 press the wrong button you'll be disconnected!
Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.
A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.
Everyone has photographic memory; some just don't have the film.
Remember: Don't Insult the Alligator till after 당신 십자가, 크로스 the river.
Whatever it is -- I didn't do it!
Wear short sleeves! Support your right to bare arms!
If 바비 인형 is so popular, why do 당신 have to buy her friends?
The only way to keep your health is to eat what 당신 don't want, drink what 당신 don't like, and do what you'd rather not.
The road to success is always under construction.
Ideas don't stay in some minds very long because they don't like solitary confinement.
There is a fine line between fishing and just standing on the 육지, 쇼 어 like an idiot.
Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain.
What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere? 'Hold my purse.'
Whatever women do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult.
Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.
Is it good if a vacuum really sucks?
It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it, but it's also true that we don't know what we've been missing until it arrives.
당신 know the speed of light; so what is the speed of dark ?
The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on.
The crime problem in New York is getting really serious. The other 일 the Statue of Liberty had both hands up.
Behind every successful man is a surprised woman.
Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?
I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.
Those who can't laugh at themselves leave the job to others.
Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, 'Where have I gone wrong?' Then a voice says to me, 'This is going to take 더 많이 than one night
A man in 사랑 is incomplete until he has married. Then he's finished.
Ask me no questions, and I'll tell 당신 no lies.
Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is the husband!
It's funny when people discuss 사랑 Marriage vs. Arranged. It's like asking someone, if suicide is better 또는 being murdered.
If your boss is getting 당신 down, look at him through the prongs of a fork and imagine him in jail.
For people that hate stereotypes. (BOLD the ones 당신 are.)
I'm SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic
I'm EMO, so I MUST cut my wrists.
I'm a NEGRO so I MUST carry a gun.
I'm BLONDE, so I MUST be a ditz
I'm JAMAICAN so I MUST smoke weed.
I'm HAITIAN so I MUST eat cat.
I'm JEWISH, so I MUST be greedy.
I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS.
I'm a LESBIAN, so I MUST have a sex-tape.
I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist.
I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch.
I'm a GAY RIGHTS SUPPORTER, so I WILL go to hell.
I'm an ATHEIEST, so I WILL go to hell
I don't have a RELIGION, so I MUST have no values 또는 morals
I'm REPUBLICAN, so I MUST not care about poor people.
I'm DEMOCRAT, so I MUST not believe in being responsible.
I am LIBERAL, so I MUST be gay.
I'm SOUTHERN, so I MUST be white trash.
I take (or used to take) ANIT-DEPRESSANTS, so I MUST be CRAZY.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST only want to get into your pants.
I'm IRISH, so I MUST have a bad drinking problem.
I'm INDIAN, so I MUST own a convenient store.
I'M NATIVE AMERICAN, so I MUST dance around a fire, screaming like a savage.
I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a whore...
I wear SKIRTS a lot, so I MUST be a slut.
I'm a PUNK, so I MUST do drugs.
I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob.
I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a goth 또는 emo.
I'm a WHITE GIRL, so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend.
I'm CUBAN, so I MUST spend my spare time rolling cigars.
I'm NOT A VIRGIN, so I MUST be easy.
I FELL IN 사랑 WITH A MARRIED MAN, so I MUST be a home-wrecking whore.
I'm a TEENAGE MOM, so I MUST be an irresponsible slut.
I'm POLISH, so I MUST wear my socks with my sandals
I'm ITALIAN, so I must have a "big one".
I'm EGYPTIAN, so I must be a TERRORIST!
I'm PRETTY, so I MUST not be a virgin.
I HAVE STRAIGHT A'S, so I MUST have no social life.
I DYE MY HAIR CRAZY COLORS, so I MUST be looking for attention.
I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS so I MUST be looking for attention.
I'm a VEGETARIAN, so I MUST be a crazy political activist.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be fucking them all.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GIRLS WHO ARE FRIENDS, so I MUST be a player.
I have BIG BOOBS, so I MUST be a hoe.
I'm COLOMBIAN, so I MUST be a drug dealer.
I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser.
I'm RUSSIAN, so I MUST be cool and that’s how Russians roll.
I'm GERMAN, so I must be a Nazi.
I hang out with GAYS, so i must be GAY TOO
I'm BRAZILIAN, so I MUST have a BIG BUTT.
I'm PUERTO RICAN, so I MUST look good and be conceited
I'm SALVADORIAN, so I MUST be in MS 13
I'm POLISH, so I MUST be greedy
I'm HAWAIIAN so I MUST be lazy
I'm PERUVIAN, so I MUST like llamas
I’m a STONER so I MUST be going in the wrong direction
I’m STRAIGHT EDGE so I must be violent.
I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly.. 또는 crazy.
I'm BLACK so I MUST 사랑 fried chicken and kool-aid.
I'm a GIRL who actually EATS LUNCH, so I MUST be fat.
I'm SINGLE, so I MUST be ugly
I'm a SKATER, so I MUST do weed and steal stuff
I'm a PUNK so I must only wear black and 날짜 only other punks
I'm MIXED so I must be screwed up.
I'm MUSLIM so I MUST be a terrorist.
I'm in BAND, so I MUST be a dork.
I'm BLACK so I MUST believe 예수님 WUZ A BROTHA
I'm MORMON so I MUST be perfect
I'm WHITE and have black 프렌즈 so I MUST think I'm black
I'm GOTH so I MUST worship the devil I'm HISPANIC, so I MUST be dirty.
I'm NOT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, so I MUST be a loser.
I'm PREPPY, so I MUST shun those who don't wear Abercrombie & Hollister.
I'm on a DANCE team, so I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.
I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naive.
I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob
I'm MEXICAN, so I MUST have hopped the border.
I got a CAR for my birthday, so I MUST be a spoiled brat.
I'm BLACK, so I MUST 사랑 watermelon
I'm BI, so I MUST think every person I see is hot.
I'm an ASIAN GUY, so I MUST have a small penis.
I'm a GUY CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be gay.
I'm a PREP, so I MUST be rich.
I don't like the sun, so I MUST be albino
I have a lot of FRIENDS, so I MUST 사랑 to drink and party.
I wear tight PANTS and I'm a guy, so I MUST be emo.
I couldn't hurt a FLY, So I MUST be a pussy.
I support GAY RIGHTS, so I MUST fit in with everyone.
I hang out with teenage drinkers and smokers, so I MUST smoke and drink too.
I have ARTISTIC TALENT, so I MUST think little of those who don't.
I don't like to be in a BIG GROUP, so I MUST be anti-social.
I have a DIFFERENT sense of HUMOR, so I MUST be crazy.
I tell people OFF, so I MUST be an over controlling bitch.
My hair gets GREASY a lot, so I MUST have no hygiene skills.
I'm DEFENSIVE, so I MUST be over controlling and a bitch.
I'm a NUDIST, so I MUST want everyone to see my boobs.
I read Comics, so I MUST be a loser.
I hang out with a FORMER PROSTITUTE.. So I MUST be a whore myself.
I'm a TEXAN, so I MUST ride a horse.
I’m a GOTH, so I MUST be a Satanist
I’m a CROSSDRESSER, so I must be homosexual.
I draw 아니메 so I MUST be a freak.
I am a FANGIRL so I MUST be a crazy, obsessed stalker.
I'm INTELLIGENT so I MUST be weak.
I am AMERICAN so I MUST be obese, loud-mouthed and arrogant.
I'm WELSH so I MUST 사랑 sheep
I’m a YOUNG WRITER, so I MUST be emo.
I’m CANADIAN, so I MUST talk with a funny accent.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST ditch my pregnant girlfriend.
I'm CANADIAN, so I MUST 사랑 hockey and beavers.
I'm DISABLED, so I MUST be on Welfare.
I WEAR A BIG SUNHAT when I go outside, so I MUST be stupid.
I like BLOOD, so I must be a VAMPIRE.
I'm an ALBINO, so I MUST be an evil person with mental abilities and is A MURDERER!
I'm ENGLISH, so I MUST speak with either a cockney 또는 a posh accent, 사랑 차 and cricket, and have bad teeth.
I’m WHITE, so I MUST be responsible for everything going wrong on the planet: past, present, and future.
I don't like 야오이 또는 YURI, so I must be a HOMOPHOBE
I’m not the most 인기 person in school, so I MUST be a loser
I care about the ENVIRONMENT...I MUST be a 나무, 트리 hugging hippy
I have a 팬 CHARACTER, so I MUST be an annoying Mary-sue.
I CHAT so I MUST be having cyber sex
I'm PAGAN so I MUST worship Satan
I'm CONSERVATIVE, so I MUST be against Abortion
I'm SWEDISH so I MUST be a tall blond blue-eyed lesbian.
I'm a LESBIAN so I MUST want to get with every single girl that I see.
I like CARTOONS, so I MUST be IRRESPONSIBLE.
I like READING, so I MUST be a LONER.
I have my OWN spiritual ideology; therefore I MUST be WRONG 또는 MISGUIDED.
I am WICCAN, so I MUST be a SATANIST.
I DISAGREE with my government, so I MUST be a TERRORIST.
I am a WITCH, so I MUST be and OLD HAG and fly on a broomstick.
I 사랑 YAOI, so I MUST be GAY.
I'm a PERSON, so I MUST be LABELED
I DON'T CURSE (much), so I MUST be an outcast
I like GAMES, 아니메 and COMICS, so I MUST be childish
I'm SWEDISH, therefore I MUST be WHITE.
I SPOT GRAMMATICAL ERRORS, so I MUST be a pedantic bastard.
I'm GOTHIC, so I MUST be mean.
I am STRONG, so I MUST be stupid.
I go to RENFAIRES, so I MUST talk weird, be a loser, and not be up with the times
I’m GAY so I’m after EVERY straight guy around.
I don’t want a BOYFRIEND so I MUST be Lesbian.
I'm NOT a CHRISTAIN so I MUST be converted.
I 사랑 marching band, so I MUST be a friendless freak.
I DRINK and SMOKE, so I MUST have no life.
I can't help pointing out mistakes so I MUST be an over-controlling perfectionist
I'm a PERFECTIONIST so I MUST check everything ten times, them burst into tears at one mistake
FAKE 나귀, 엉덩이 FRIENDS: Never ask for food.
REAL FRIENDS: Are the reason 당신 have no food.
FAKE 나귀, 엉덩이 FRIENDS: Call your parents Mr/Mrs.
REAL FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD/MOM.
FAKE 나귀, 엉덩이 FRIENDS: Bail 당신 out of jail and tell 당신 what 당신 did was wrong.
REAL FRIENDS: Will sit 다음 to 당신 saying “Damn … we fucked up … but that shit was fun!”
FAKE 나귀, 엉덩이 FRIENDS: Never seen 당신 cry.
REAL FRIENDS: Cry with you.
FAKE 나귀, 엉덩이 FRIENDS: Borrow your stuff for a few days then give it back.
REAL FRIENDS: Keep your shit so long they forget its yours.
FAKE 나귀, 엉덩이 FRIENDS: Know a few things about you.
REAL FRIENDS: Can write a book about you, with direct 인용구 from you.
FAKE 나귀, 엉덩이 FRIENDS: Will leave 당신 behind if that is what the crowd is doing.
REAL FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds 나귀, 엉덩이 that left you.
FAKE 나귀, 엉덩이 FRIENDS: Will knock on your front door.
REAL FRIENDS: Walk right in and say “I’M HOME!”
FAKE 나귀, 엉덩이 FRIENDS: Will take your drink away when they think you’ve had enough.
REAL FRIENDS: Will look at 당신 stumbling all over the place and say “Bitch, drink the rest of that, 당신 know we don’t waste.”
FAKE 나귀, 엉덩이 FRIENDS: Will talk shit to the person who talks shit about you.
REAL FRIENDS: Will knock them the fuck out!
FAKE 나귀, 엉덩이 FRIENDS: Say they are too busy to listen to your problems, but when it comes to them they expect 당신 to have all the time in the world.
REAL FRIENDS: Not only kick everything out of their schedule to listen to whats wrong, but help come up with vindictive plans to make 당신 feel a whole lot better!
FAKE 나귀, 엉덩이 FRIENDS: Say sorry when 당신 want to talk to them at odd hours of the night, 또는 even just hang out at odd hours.
REAL FRIENDS: Come right over and hang out with you, until 당신 either fall asleep, 또는 kick them out.
FAKE 나귀, 엉덩이 FRIENDS: Are for awhile.
REAL FRIENDS: Are for life.
~30 things to do in an elevator!~
1. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead while muttering: "Shut up, admit, all of 당신 just shut UP!"
2. Whistle the first seven notes of "It's a Small World" incessantly.
3. Crack open your 서류 가방 또는 purse, and while peering inside ask: "Got enough air in there."
4. Offer name 태그 to everyone getting on the elevator. Wear yours upside-down.
5. Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.
6. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act embarrassed when they open 의해 themselves.
7. Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask them to call 당신 Admiral.
8. On the highest floor, hold the door open and demand that it stay open until 당신 hear the penny 당신 dropped down the shaft go 'plink' at the bottom.
9. Stare, grinning, at another passenger for a while, and then announce: "I've got new socks on!"
10. When at least 8 people have boarded, moan from the back: "Oh, no, not now, bleeped motion sickness!"
11. Meow occasionally.
12. Holler "Chutes away!" whenever the elevator descends.
13. Walk on with a 냉각기 that says "human head" on the side.
14. Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce "You're one of THEM!" and 옮기기 to the far corner of the elevator.
15. Wear a puppet on your hand and talk to the other passengers 'through' it.
16. When the elevator is silent, look around and ask "is that your beeper?"
17. Say "Ding!" at each floor.
18. Say "I wonder what all these do?" and push the red buttons.
19. Listen to the elevator walls with a stethoscope.
20. Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers that this is your 'personal space.'
21. Announce in a demonic voice: "I must find a 더 많이 suitable host body."
22. Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
23. Wear 'X-Ray Specs' and leer suggestively at other passengers.
24. Stop at every floor, run off the elevator, then run back on.
25. Make farm animal noises
26. Start talking to the wall
27. Carry a stuffed animal with 당신 and talk to it
28. Carry a small object and start petting it while saying "My precious." in a demonic voice then laugh like a maniac
29. When one person is on ask them if they want to pet your cat and then purr at them.
30. Rip your clothes and stumble on to the elevator and tell them that 당신 just escaped from the mental ward and then laugh like a maniac.
1. 당신 accidentally enter your 비밀번호 on your microwave.
2. 당신 haven't played solitaire with real cards in years.
3. The reason for not staying in touch with your 프렌즈 is they don't have a screen name 또는 my space.
4. 당신 would rather look all over the house for the remote rather than just pushing the buttons on the TV.
6. Your boss doesn’t even have the ability to do your job.
7. As 당신 read this list keep nodding and smiling.
8. As 당신 read this list 당신 think of sending it to all your friends.
9. And 당신 were to busy to notice # 5
10. And 당신 scrolled back up to see if their was a # 5
11. Now you’re laughing at yourself stupidly.
12. 당신 fell for that, and 당신 know 당신 did.
it was a very warm day.So we decided to go to the park.we were walking in the park and we heared thunder and lighting.We continued walking in the park and its started to rain.We continued to walk in the park and it rained even harder.We continued to walk intill i hit a tree.Then my cell phone rang and anwsered it but no one anwsered.I was scaryed to death.I walked 집 with my friends.But i hit another 나무, 트리 my 프렌즈 helped me up.but when we got to my house we heared a ghost that said GET OUT.My 프렌즈 all ran out of the house.Then my parents came out from hiding and scaryed the crap out of me and stabbed them with a plastic knife.They laughed at me. it was a funny stroy