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What women should tell men...but don't

1. The reason why our bras don't always match our underwear is because WE actually change our underwear.

2. The 다음 time 당신 and your buddies make jokes about armed women in combat, take a 투표 to see which of 당신 successfully aim at the toilet rim.

3. If we're watching football with 당신 - it's not bonding - it's their butts.

4. Whenever possible, please try to say whatever 당신 have to say after the movie.

5. Lay off the beans several hours before bedtime.

6. Please don't drive when you're not driving.

7. If 당신 were really looking for an honest answer, 당신 wouldn't ask in bed.

8. The 다음 time 당신 make jokes about female drivers, research the number of accidents caused 의해 rubber-necking mini-skirts.

9. If only women gossip, how do 당신 and your 프렌즈 keep track of 'who's easy'?

10. Stop telling us most male strippers are gay: we don't care.

11. When you're not around, I belch loudly, too.

12. We don't mind if 당신 look in the mirror to check your appearance - in fact, please do!

13. When you're out with us, please wear 'our' 가장 좋아하는 outfit rather than 'yours' - the torn jeans and dirty T-Shirt will last longer that way.

14. If 당신 must grunt in reply, please develop a system to indicate a positive vs. A negative grunt.

15. Don't insist that we 'get off the stupid phone' and then not talk to us.

16. Eye contact is best established above our shoulder-level.

17. Cleaning the house is not necessarily 'women's work'; besides, most of the 'dirt' and clutter is yours anyway.

18. Yes, we know most of the great chefs are men, why is it then 당신 never want to cook?

19. We go to the Ladies Room in groups to talk about you.

20. Yes, we know 당신 can probably beat us arm wrestling' however, very few raises 또는 promotions were gained 의해 arm wrestling the boss.
If 당신 don't read this, someone else wil
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Chapter One- Dominence
    I growled at my opponent's blood soaked face. He was a brown wolf, his 코트 tattared and split, giving him a look of insantity. He trotted in place, kicking up the mushy blood-mixed snow beneath his paws.
    His posture was dominent, legs hunched, spread apart evenly, his tail and head held high, but I could sence the fear in his green eyes.
    This was way to easy.
    My ear twitched, as if to remind me not to let my guard down. If this 늑대 senced it, he could take me down. And I would...
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posted by invadercalliope
CAALLIIOOPPEE CHHAANNEELL!!!!!!!!!!!!
It's me your host Invader Calliope ^^
Can 당신 believe were already on our ninth episode!
TIME SURE FLIES!Welcome to another happy episode of Calliope Channel! Well today were gonna bring another character out! And it's.....Lardnard!
Invader Calliope:SO COME OUT!
Lardnard:Oh *falls*
Invader Calliope:You sound like some nerdy turtle.
Lardnard:Well umm i'm here.
Invader Calliope:FINALLY THINGS ARE PICKING UP AROUND HERE!
Lardnard:Yeah!
Invader Calliope:Yeah.That's how 당신 respond.
Lardnard:Umm is there a problem.
Invader Calliope:Ohhh nothing! Oh NO WERE OUTTA TIME BYE ME!
The End!
posted by invadercalliope
CCAALLIIOOPPEE
CCHHAANNEELL!
HIA EVERYBODY!
I'm your host InvaderCalliope!
Well i'm going to sing! *sings*
WELL AS 당신 KNOW I GET TONS AND TONS OF 팬 LETTERS! NOW I WILL READ ONE TO YOU!
The Letter reads:Big hello to InvaderCalliope on this show i allways see a new guest 별, 스타 so i was wondering how do 당신 do it?
당신 WANNA KNOW BECAUSE ITS AN HONOR TO BE ON THIS SHOW BEING ON THIS SHOW AS ME AS THE HOST!
Well todays guest 별, 스타 is..............KEEF!
Keef:HI EVERYONE I HOPE ZIM AND DIB ARE WATCHING THERE MY BEST FRIENDS!
InvaderCalliope:You know your 프렌즈 are going to think your pathetic.
Keef:WHAT!
InvaderCalliope:You herd me if 당신 make them know your there whole world there going to use you!
OH NO WERE OUTTA TIME!
WELL BYE!
BUT FIRST PLZ ENJOY TODAYS SPECAIL PICTURE!
BYE ME!
posted by invadercalliope
CCAALLIIOOPPEE
CCHHAANNEEL!
HIA EVERYONE WELCOME TO CALLIOPE CHANNEL!
I'M YOUR HOST INVADER CALLIOPE!
ITS NICE TO SEE 당신 AGAIN!
I WILL BE GIVING 당신 120 PERCENT!
TODAYS SPECAIL GUEST 별, 스타 IS....
Dib:DIIIB!
Invader Calliope:HEY!
Dib:What?
Invader Calliope: DON'T 당신 EVER CUT ME OFF AGAIN!
Dib:I'M SORRY!
Invader Calliope:THIS IS'NT KIDS PLAY! SO 당신 BETTER HANDLE YOUR SELF 또는 I WILL MAKE SURE YOUR OFF INVADER ZIM!
Dib:I'm sorry! I'm really very sorry!
Invader Calliope:Ok because Dib was so horrible I will end the show earlyer!Bye!
The End
posted by invadercalliope
When 당신 turn around, who is that behind you?
Bury your claws in the darkness and shred the night
The raindrops turn to drops of blood and trickle down your cheek
If 당신 have no place to return to
Stop on this finger, on this finger of mine
Where the evening cicadas cry in the forbidden forest
당신 cannot turn back anymore

__________________________________________________

furimuita sono ushiro no sorewa dare
kurayami ni tsume wo tatete yoru wo hikisaita
amadare wa chi no shizuku to natte hoho wo tsutaiochiru
mou dekonimo kaeru basho ga nainara
kono yubi tomare watashi no yubi ni
sono yubi goto tsuretetteageru
higurashi ga naku akazu no mori de
atomodori wa mou dekinai
me-every one said the old house down the block was haunted *roll my eyes* no such thing as "haunted" so i told my friendz i am proving it its not "haunted"

THE 다음 일
i cant get in the house (sure duh yeah i was scared i was going in alone but i tried playing it strong) oh well cant get in well bye but right after that i forgot Chloe could open any door with a nail after that she pushed me in and slamed the door behind me

the house was so OLD & LAME & SMELLY !! and fucken large like wow HELLO i yelled ugh what was the point every time i took a step the floor creeked and every time it did i could hear a dark voice saying get..out

i tried not to yell so i ran up the steps and saw...the dead body of old man jons i screamed so loud i think the whole world heared me i had to step over the dead body to go past him i saw the dead body had a 칼, 나이프 in the chest i new somthing was wrong
i have had it I AM GETTING THE HELL OUT OF HERE
Me: okay i actually found this story in my local newspaer from 20 years back. And i'll put a symbol for town names. I don't want rapists 또는 pheaodifiles coming to my town... okay lets begin. And i shall have to give some background history. Well at there was a renovation going on at $ which was between # and &, for an old mental asylum to be converted into a power house musuem. Anyway so this story takes place then. I think i'm not sure of dates.
$ was a small town, very small as in like only three -5 thousande people
ps. 의해 the way i really wanted a long title


okay so in Australia out in...
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posted by taylorrocks
once i was at a movie theater with my 프렌즈 gabby tayolr and rylee and we saw this dude and he was like who are 당신 and we were like why dose it matter and he said no reason then he stated following us around and we called jessi then we told her so she meat us there and when she got ther she was like 당신 need to quit following us then we realised it was hallies dad then he was like hallie is in theater 4 seeing mall cop and i am just here. so yeah story of my life right and then this one time our teacher let us play quite ball and it was so fun because 당신 get to throw the ball around the classroom and i threw it to sammie (bffld) and she didnt catch it and it landed in our teachers coffe haha! and this one time we wre in gym class and our teacher is soooooooooooo mean and she made me take my earrings out and after gym icoulnt put them back in so taylor tried to help but she poked another hole in my ear!
posted by smileypop9
1.When 당신 walk into the room, run up to the teacher and stare her in the eyes. nothing more. just keep a straight face and stare. they get quite scared.

2.Before your science class starts, put a 냉각기 that has "Human Head" written on top, on the front table. On the board write: "Class, we will be disecting a human head tommorrow, the sign up list is on my 책상, 데스크 for the part 당신 would like to dissect" Actually put a sign up list on her desk.

3.bring a cactus to school. Raise your hand. When called upon say the cactus has a question. look at the cactus and wait for it to say something. when it...
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