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posted by karpach_14
Bored? Need something to spice up your day? Why not annoy the living shit out of someone 당신 love? Here are a few suggestions.

1. Go to the library. Every 15 minutes, go up to the same guy and joke, "Working hard 또는 hardly working?"

2. At the dentist, start screaming as soon as 당신 open your mouth.

3. Stand in front of the TV while your dad is watching a big game.

4. Every 30 분 또는 so, call your friend who is babysitting and breathe into the phone.

5. Scrape your ring 또는 your nails on the blackboard 다음 time you're asked to do a problem at the board.

6. 다음 음악회, 콘서트 당신 go to, yell out "Mmmbop!" between every song.

7. Whenever someone asks 당신 a question, say, "What?" As soon as they start to talk again, cut them off with another, "What?"

8. When someone asks to borrow paper, say, "Do 당신 think paper grows on trees?" Then laugh hysterically.

9. Give yourself a really big 우유 mustache at the breakfast 표, 테이블 and refuse to wipe it off.

10. Send emails to your 프렌즈 with subjects reading, "You're never going to believe this!!!" Then leave the message part blank.

11. Tell the same joke over and over and laugh as loud as 당신 can at the punchline every single time.

12. Ask someone to borrow a tissue, pretend to blow your nose and stick it back in their pocket.

13. Put garlic powder inside the showerhead in the bathroom (after 당신 take a shower, of course).

14. Anytime someone says something, respond, "Yeah, so's your mom."

15. Leave smelly socks on your brother's pillow; blame it on the dog.

16. Tell your friend's crush that she wants to marry him.

17. Break into your 가장 좋아하는 celeb's house and try their clothes on. Wait patiently to be arrested.

18. Fill your mouth with Saltines, then talk to everyone at the table.

19. When someone speaks to you, flinch like they're going to hit you.

20. Pretend your Call Waiting beeps every two 분 while you're on the phone. Keep checking it.

21. Put grapes inside your mom's 가장 좋아하는 slippers.

22. Go to McDonald's and order lobster. After they explain that they don't serve lobster, storm out, shouting, "I should've gone to Wendy's!"

23. Approach a total stranger and ask, "Are my ears wiggling?" making no attempt to wiggle them. As soon as the person walks away, ask, "How about now?"

24. Whistle the pesky Chipmunks' 크리스마스 song all day. Don't stop until it's stuck in five people's heads.

25. Tell a friend that she has something on her face when she doesn't. Keep telling her to wipe harder.

26. When 당신 go to pick someone up, lean on the horn as 당신 pull into their driveway. Don't stop until they're in the car.

27. When your brother 또는 sister's dates are over, break out baby pics of them "going potty".

28. Lock the passenger side car door when your friend is trying to get in. Yell, "Take your hand off the handle!" Then unlock it and lock it again when they try to open it. Yell, "Take your hand off the handle!" Repeat.

29. When the lights go out at the movies, make barfing noises.

30. Sing the wrong words to songs at the school dance.

31. Point your fingers at a friend in the shape of a gun, make a clicking sound, and say, "Take it sleazy!"

32. Request no MSG on your food-- everywhere 당신 go.

33. While on vacation with your family, suddenly scream, "Did anyone remember to unplug the iron?"

34. At a party, keep telling one of your 프렌즈 she has bad breath. No matter how many mints she eats, say, "God, did 당신 eat tuna for lunch?"

35. When anyone says, "Can I ask 당신 a question?" say, "You just did."

36. In class, keep telling your bud that her bra strap is showing.

37. Make up a joke that takes 10 분 to tell and has no punchline.

38. When answering the phone, say, "Yellow?"

39. Go to a store, buy a bunch of things, and pay for them with pennies.

40. While driving in your friend's car, insist that 당신 smell dog poop. Enjoy as she sniffs around.

41. Give the person walking in front of 당신 a flat tire. Apologize profusely. Then do it again.

42. 다음 party, go into the bathroom, steal all of the toilet paper, and listen for the cries of terror.

43. In the cafeteria, pretend 당신 dropped something and bend down to get it. While under the table, tie your friend's shoelace to her chair. Then ask her to go get 당신 a napkin.

44. Keep asking everyone at the bus stop, "Cold enough for ya?"

45. Tell a friend you'll tape Buffy for her, and purposefully stop taping 10 분 from the end.

46. Go to the 도서관, 라이브러리 and play your Walkman loud enough so that everyone can hear your headphones. Stay there for the entire day.

47. While someone's taking a shower, steal their towel.

48. Spend an entire 일 speaking with a really fake British accent.

49. When you're in the passenger 좌석 and the driver changes lanes, scream, "Watch out for that truck!"

50. Blow kisses at everyone 당신 meet at the mall.
added by r-pattz
added by dxarmy423
added by xoheartinohioxo
Source: dailysquee.com
added by EminemAddict09
Source: my awesomeness
added by xoheartinohioxo
Source: icanhascheezburger.com
added by sonicgoth
Source: amy
added by i_luv_angst
Something Beautiful
I was in a restless mood.
I tried to read and ended up with 책 scattered all over the floor.
I tried listening to 음악 but all the words sounded out of tune.
I tried to write but ended up staring at a blank page for ten minutes.
So I decided to create something beautiful.
I wrote a song, drew a picture, and made a frame for it.
I took a photo, made a vase, and arranged some flowers.
I drew a tattoo on my hand, made a tower out of everything, climbed on my roof and did a dance.
But no matter how hard I try the most beautiful thing I ever created will always be you.
posted by tokidoki123
[Family Guy] S01E05 - A Hero Sits 다음 Door #178
Lois: Meg, you're a sweet, beautiful girl, he'll come around.
Meg: That's such a mom answer.
Lois: Well, have 당신 tried showing him the goods? How's that for a mom answer?
Meg: Creepy.
Contributed 의해 funnytvquotes.com



[Family Guy] S03E07 - Lethal Weapons #183
Peter: Excuse me, is your refrigerator running? Because if it is, it probably runs like 당신 - very homosexually.
Contributed 의해 funnytvquotes.com



[Family Guy] S03E10 - 물고기 Out Of Water #181
Auctioner: We'll open this auction with this pair of panties confiscated from a prostitute.
Quagemire: Fifty...
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posted by jeniffer2200
 i'm a tumor
i'm a tumor
Family guy quotes:

*Black Jesus!* "I rode this town on ass!,Yo mama's ass!" *Black Jesus*

"Meth is a hell of a drug."

"I'm a tumor,I'm a tumor...I'm a tumor!,I'm a tumor,I'am a tumor...I'am tumor! oh oh! I'M A TUMOR!"

"Pick up my poop!"

"I have the power! He-Man!"

"Giggity!"

"Luis! Luis,Luis,Luis,Luis,Mum,Mum,Mum,Mum,Mum,Mommy,Mommy,Mommy,Mommy,Mama,Mama,Mama,Mama,Ma,Ma,Ma,Ma,Ma,Mom,Mom,Mom,Mom,Mom,Mummy,Mummy,Mama!,Mama! WHAT!? HI! eheheheheh"

______________________________________________


Spongebob Quotes:

"Oh Please! I have no soul"

"Fenland!"

"I defy 당신 심장 man!!"

"I don't think Wumbo is a real word...Come'on!...
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"Hey guess what?" Lauren, my best friend, said as we sat in the computer room of my house, looking at Katy Perry 음악 videos. I looked over and answered, "What?". She pulled out a small card with a "BK" watermark on it.
"I got a $10 gift card to Burger King!" She exclaimed. "The jellybeans shall be praised!" I jumped up and immediately grabbed the keys of my car, a blue 2012 Ford 반 야생마, 무스탕, 무스 탕 Shelby GT500.
"We need to go." I begged. Burger King was one of my all-time 가장 좋아하는 fast 음식 restaurants. I had to go!
"Take out 또는 dine-in?" Lauren asked, standing up. I thought for a second.
"Both!"...
continue reading...
posted by kinga10111
A person can not fold a normal size piece of paper in half 더 많이 than 8 times.



There are just over 300 million cell phones used daily in the United States alone.



A shrimps 심장 is in it’s head.



Kissing is actually healthier than shaking someones hand.




Natural pearls will melt in vinegar.



An 올리브 나무, 트리 can live up to 1500 years.



Cleopatra married two of her brothers.



Ants can’t shut their eyes.




On a Canadian two dollar bill, the flag flying over the Parliament Building looks like an American flag.



Men’s shirts have the buttons on the right, while women shirts have the buttons on the left.



Chewing...
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posted by kinga10111
50 랜덤 질문 people ask

1. Are we there yet?
2. Does your chewing gum lose its flavor on the bedpost overnight?
3. Which way to the emergency exit?
4. Does this make me look fat?
5. Can God make a bathtub so big He can't bathe in it?
6. Parlez-vous Français?
7. Why hasn't my check arrived yet?
8. How many fingers am I holding up?
9. Where do bad folks go when they die?
10. Why do we park on driveways and drive on freeways?
11. Who shot Mr. Burns?
12. What time is it?
13. Can I go to the bathroom?
14. May I go to the bathroom?
15. Does this hurt?
16. Will 당신 marry me?
17. Whose fault is that?
18. I...
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posted by smileypop9
Found this on www.funny.com. I find a lot of things there that I post...


A manager at Wal-Mart had the task of hiring someone to fill a job opening. After sorting through a stack of resumes he found four people who were equally qualified. He decided to call the four in and ask them only one question. Their answer would determine which of them would get the job.
The 일 came and as the four sat around the conference room table, the interviewer asked, 'What is the fastest thing 당신 know of?'
The first man replied, 'A THOUGHT.' It just pops into your head. There's no warning.
'That's very good!' replied...
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After spending hours alone and together Miki and Hei come out.Once both out she lead Hei to her personal weapon room "wow 당신 own every last weapon here?" "yep and trust me its not easy hiding this big room" she shows him each one and show him how to use them all.After that they both chose three weapons and fought for a vary long time (A.K.A 5 hours) Luka (Miki's twin brother)got 집 to see that his sister on the floor laughing and giggling and with a big smile on her face "well well well who do we have here little miss 'i don't need a boyfriend' on the floor with a guy" "Luka?! so not cool...
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1.His cell phone number (picture this 당신 are on a 날짜 with him and she calls to ask wat time will she be home)

2.His parents-(If your mom knows his parents then be prepared to see sum embarrasing pics,of yuor boyfriend)

3. If he is a virgin!! (ppicture this your up in your room with him and she pops in when yall r about to 키스 and she freaks out)

4.His ex-girlfriends (if your mom knows ur boyfriend's ex girlfriends then be prepared to hear what did, tthis girl havetht my daughter didnt)

5.What his style is (your out with ur bf and mom and 당신 turn the corner and she yells OH LOOK A THOOSE SEXY...
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 X(
X(
I bet I know what some of 당신 are thinking, "OMG! How can someone hate their family? That's horrible, what a brat 또는 what a b***h!"

Well, here's why :)

My mother is extremely controlling and b****es all the damn time and criticizes every little thing I do five times a freaking day! For example, I leave the door open for two 분 when I'm only getting something and going out again, and she hollers at me about how I'm wasting heat and how she's going to take my 아이팟 또는 laptop for a week if I left it open again. 또는 when I do all of the chores she expects me to do and I do them how she'd see...
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posted by BellaCullen96
Play with your food; to add effect, act like it's a special performance for the people at the 다음 table.
Turn around every thirty-seven 초 to the people at the 다음 표, 테이블 and ask them if your 좌석 is too close, if you're talking too loud, etc.
Whenever 당신 see someone getting up and leaving, bolt to their 표, 테이블 and take the tip before the wait-person returns.
Eat REALLY loud; make disgusting noises; slurp EVERY time 당신 take a sip of your drink.
Constantly re-adjust the positions of absolutely EVERYTHING at your table; seats, silverware, dishes, the 표, 테이블 itself; and make sure to make...
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added by tanyya
posted by Seanthehedgehog
Welcome to the block, where a group of ponies that are 프렌즈 live on the same block in Ponyville. And now for your hosts, Master Sword, and Tom Foolery.

Audience: *Cheering, clapping, and whistling*
Master Sword & Tom: *Standing in front of a house*
Tom: Something seems wrong here.
Master Sword: Why?
Tom: When we appeared, the audience was cheering, clapping, and whistling. However, I did not hear any laughter!
Audience: *Laughing*
Tom: Thank you. The more, the merrier.
Master Sword: Who wants to hear about today's crossover parody?
Tom: Obviously, everpony. Otherwise, they wouldn't be...
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