I NEED help! is this good 또는 not? and how could I improve it? I had no idea what to write!

Carly March 14th, 2010
How Media Affects Our Thinking and Behaviors About Sex and Sexuality
    The media has both a positive and negative influence on people’s thinking about sex and sexuality. It’s positive in that the media promotes 안전한, 안전 sex with the condom commercials, trying to get people to buy them, but it does have a negative affect too. The negative part of this would be that the media basically want people to have sex so they will buy their products. Another positive affect the media has is that it may make people 더 많이 open to talk about it. If people hear about someone who got pregnant from using the wrong condoms they are going to be 더 많이 careful about choosing the right ones. The condom commercials may make people think that sex is a normal thing that lots of people do. It’s bad especially if teens think that, cause doing it puts them at the risk of getting pregnant, if the condom isn’t used properly, 또는 if they don’t use one.
The media makes women think they have to look ‘sexy’ so they can get men. Commercials have gorgeous girls with lots of makeup and short dresses and skirts. Also in 영화 it’s always a drop dead gorgeous girl who gets the guy. Posters and billboards basically aren’t even real. They take a picture of a pretty girl, who is already wearing too much makeup, and they 편집 it on the computer and make them have a longer neck, bigger eyes, and so on. Most people don’t even realize that these girls on billboards and in magazines, advertising for things don’t even look like that; that it’s basically impossible to look that good. It makes some girls feel bad and about themselves if they don’t look that way, so they go get short skirts, and put on a bunch of makeup to try to make boys notice them.

 ILovJoshRamsay posted over a year ago
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jedigal1990 said:
i think it was pretty good. 당신 brought up some good points. i think its actually good the way it is.
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posted over a year ago 
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oh thank you!
ILovJoshRamsay posted over a year ago
dustfinger said:
how many paragraphs is it supposed to be? i would put an intro, a body on how its positive, a body on how its negative, and a conclusion
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posted over a year ago 
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lol, oh thanks! yah idno it just said a paragraph... but then I had to seperate it cause it where there were different subjects
ILovJoshRamsay posted over a year ago
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show off and put four paragraphs! nothing wrong with that!
dustfinger posted over a year ago
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