Is this plot good? How can I improve?

Plot: in future England there are even 더 많이 homophobes and discrimination. Homosexuals are sent to a town where they are killed after a year. A boy decides to break out, but when they're escaping the guards catch them. The boy is killed but the others escape. There is then a war for gay rights.

Characters:
Boys:
Achlad Bouvier (younger twin, 담홍색, 핑크 hair, yellow eyes, cat ears and tail.)
Aberthol Bouvier(older twin same looks)
Luci (Lucifer, Satan, red eyes, black hair)
Ai (Luci's boyfriend, black eyes, brown hair)
James Handel (blonde hair blue eyes)
Hayden Lamar (James's boyfriend, red hair, green eyes)
Finnegan Courtland Maloish (Leader of the group, blonde hair, dark green eyes)
March Guest (guy who dies at the beginning, curly long purple hair, blue eyes)
Inigo Forrest (Lucinda's boyfriend and brother, light red hair, brown eyes)
Blane Cellinton (Finnegan's friend, totally doesn't matter)
Lewellyn Bouvier (king of Cauldwell, doesn't matter)
Archer Cauldwell (creator of Cauldwell), not sure if he even comes in) 


Girls 
Lucinda Forrest (robot spy, light red hair, brown eyes)
Nina Wellz (Finnegan's friend, black hair, brown eyes)
Joy Barker (Finnegan's friend, brown hair, blue eyes)
리한나 Bouvier (Queen of Cauldwell, doesn't matter)
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I was in a rush, so if you're confused look at my 코멘트 on panisepic's answer. If you're still confused ask me about it.
misscrazel posted over a year ago
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Also if 당신 want to know personality traits tell me.
misscrazel posted over a year ago
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The murderers do the murders so there will be 더 많이 good, kind of like Death Note (if you've watched it 또는 know what it's about). Satan isn't bad in the story, he was sent to hell for being gay and he doesn't really torture the sinners God sends to him.
misscrazel posted over a year ago
 misscrazel posted over a year ago
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랜덤 답변

panisepic said:
Why are there 더 많이 homophobes and discrimination in the future; there is a lot going on now to end this so what happened to make it all turn this drastically south?
Why are they killed after a year?
Why do they have cat ears and tails?
Why are they the only ones with animal traits?
Why is Satan in this?
The heck, robot spy? Why a robot? 'Cause it's the future? What brought robot spies about?
How does this group, that has been locked up and shunned from society for at least year, escape and then build enough of a team to wage a war?

Not the worst but could use some 더 많이 explaining. I mean I understand that this is just a short 설명 but right now 당신 seem to just have some unnecessary things if 당신 don't have a good reason for them.
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posted over a year ago 
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I was in a rush when I typed this, sorry. I'll explain it.
misscrazel posted over a year ago
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I'm not quit sure on the first one, I'll work on it. They give them a 년 to try to become straight, but since 당신 can't they end up killing them. In the future people ended up finding some 더 많이 fosil fules and combined human and animal DNAs. They're not, they're just the only main characters with it, one of them can turn itno a cat person. I'll explain in another 코멘트 box sice it's kinda long. I'll explain robot's in another one too. They're already big enough of a team, and they 가입하기 with another group of people later in the story.
misscrazel posted over a year ago
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Thanks! I am working on the first one, I hadn't really thought about that. (^_^)
misscrazel posted over a year ago
BlondLionEzel said:
I like it!
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posted over a year ago 
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Thanks!
misscrazel posted over a year ago
springely said:
Good so far, but in the future this is actually less likely to happen.
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posted over a year ago 
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I know, but I'm still working a little on it.
misscrazel posted over a year ago
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