Seanthehedgehog Presents
A story that takes place in San Franciscolt.
Dirty Harry.
It was a wonderful, and sunny 일 when a 조랑말 with a sniper 소총 was looking at a mare swimming. The 조랑말 with the 소총 was named Scorpio, and he was an assassin. The mare swimming was at the 상단, 맨 위로 of a huge building, and Scorpio was going to do whatever he could to kill this mare. Why? Because he's evil.
With one shot, the mare was killed. Blood came out of her body, and into the swimming pool looking like red paint being washed off a brush.
Half an 시간 later, a 조랑말 was walking. This 조랑말 was known as Harry Calahan, but most ponies refer to him as, Dirty Harry. He was good at his job, which was being a detective. The way he does things make him loose cannon, which is how he likes it.
After walking up 20 flights of stairs, Harry got to where he was, the roof where the mare was killed. He examined the crime scene, and saw the bullet in the body. He took it out carefully, and put it in a plastic bag marked evidence. Then he walked back downstairs.
A few hours later
Police Captain: Take a 좌석 Harry
Harry: *sits down*
Police Captain: I'm going to breef 당신 on a 조랑말 that has been wanted for a while. They call him Scorpio, and he sent us a letter.
Harry: What does it say?
Police Captain: The letter says, I want $150,000. If I don't get it in a few days, 더 많이 ponies will die.
Harry: Only loser would do something like that.
Police Captain: Why the fuck do 당신 call every criminal a loser?
Harry: They're too poor to do anything good, so they cause crime.
Police Captain: Yep, sure. That's all I need 당신 for Harry, I'll call 당신 if I need anything else.
Harry: *walks out of office*
Half an 시간 later, Harry went to grab some lunch. There was place he always enjoyed going to called Dou Chebag's.
Harry: *enters restaurant*
Dou: Harry, how's it going?
Harry: Hello Mr. Chebag, how are you?
Dou: Wonderful. Would 당신 like your usual?
Harry: I think I'll surprise 당신 this time. Only chili today.
Dou: 당신 got it. *looks out window* A lot of polution out there, it's not good.
Harry: No it isn't. Why can't we have clean streets for once?
Dou: We live in a town of crime.
Harry: Yeah *sees bank* I need 당신 to make a call.
Dou: What for?
Harry: Tell the police that there's a bank robbery on 7th Avenue.
Dou: Ok, here's your hotdog.
Harry: Thanks. *eats hotdog* Now, just wait for the calvary to arrive.
But when Harry finished his hotdog, the alarm at the bank went off.
Harry: Oh damnit.
robbers: *exit bank*
Harry: *walks down 거리 with gun*
robbers: *pull out shotgun*
Harry: HALT!
robbers: *shoot gun*
Harry: *shoots shotgun carrying burglar*
burglars: *get in car*
Harry: *shoot driver*
driver: *crashes into firehydrant*
burglars: *get out*
Harry: *shoots both burglars*
civilians: *scream, and run*
Harry: *notices leg* They shot me
shotgun carrying burglar: *lays on ground*
Harry: *goes toward burglar*
burglar: *reaches for gun*
Harry: Uh uh. I know what you're thinking. Did he 불, 화재 six shots, 또는 only five? To tell 당신 the truth I 로스트 track myself after all this excitement. *shows gun* Being this is a .44 magnum, the most powerful handgun in all of Equestria, and will blow your head clean off. 당신 gotta ask yourself a question. Do I feel lucky?
Burglar: *silent*
Harry: Well do 당신 punk?
Burglar: *does nothing*
Harry: *takes shotgun*
Burglar: Hey. I got's to know.
Harry: *pulls trigger*
Nothing happened. And as Harry walked from the dying criminal, the police arrived.
The 다음 morning Scorpio was on 상단, 맨 위로 of another building with his sniper rifle. He was aiming it at some ponies, but didn't know who to shoot.
Meanwhile in the police station.
Harry: *walking to office*
filly: Hey. You're the one that stopped the bank robbery!
Harry: Yeah, I am.
Cop: Sorry, he's with me. When are 당신 going to cut your hair?
Harry: The same 일 당신 get your's cut.
russian cop: Excellent work yesterday.
Harry: Thanks foreign cop of Equestria.
Henry: Duh, great job yesterday.
Harry: Thanks dumby.
Henry: 당신 could be nice for once.
Harry: I could, but I prefer not to.
Captain: Harry? In my office.
Henry: See? Be nice. *puts cup upside down* Now to pour in my coffee.
Captain: We heard that one of the robbers shot you.
Harry: Yeah, I'm past that, so?
Captain: We found 당신 a new partner.
Peter: *walks in*
Captain: This 조랑말 is your new partner.
Harry: Would've been nice if I chose someone 더 많이 reliable.
Peter: Is he always like this?
Captain: Yeah, he pretty much hates everyone. Ask him what he hates the most.
Peter: What do 당신 hate the most?
Harry: Mexicans.
And with that we return to the sniper. He found his target, and was getting ready to shoot when a helicopter was flying close to him.
Scorpio: *gets ready*
Pilot: 당신 with the gun. Yes you, lay on the ground.
Scorpio: *runs inside*
Hours later
Peter: Do 당신 always go on patrol in the night?
Harry: We're not on patrol, we have to go to where the assassin is.
Peter: Did they tell 당신 where?
Harry: It was at a house on Riverside drive. We're almost there
pedestrian: *gets in way*
Harry: *stops*
Peter: Jeez
Harry: Get the fuck outta the way asshole. *continues driving*
Peter: wow.
Harry: It's his fault.
When they got to the house they had their guns. Was the sniper really there though?
They reached the house, but it seemed vacant.
Harry: Let's check in the alley. *goes in*
Peter: *follows*
Harry: *looks in house*
Peter: 당신 see anyone?
Harry: Yeah *looks at mare* And she's naked.
hobos: *hit Harry* What do 당신 think you're doing perv? We oughta call the cops on you!
Harry: I am the cops
hobos: *beat up Harry*
Peter: That's enough! San Franciscolt Police Department!
hobos: *stand near wall*
Harry: Let them go. We gotta check somewhere else.
operator: Inspector 71, 당신 there?
Harry: Yeah. What's up?
operator: We've got a 신고 of a 조랑말 trying to commit suicide on the TransEquestria pyramid.
Harry: On our way. *drives*
90 초 later, Harry arrived at the building.
Cops: *put spotlight on suicidal pony*
Harry: Let me up there.
Cops: Ok
Harry: *goes up lift*
suicidal pony: What are 당신 doing man?
Harry: Nothing, I just wanted to talk.
suicidal pony: About what?
Harry: What you're doing. Don't jump, it'll just make things worse.
suicidal pony: Why?
Harry: Well think about it. I had a friend who commited suicide over at St. Foalis. It was a terrible mess, he jumped from the gateway arch. There was a lot of blood, and some ponies vommited at the sight.
suicide pony: 당신 bastard *jumps*
Harry: *catches suicidal pony*
crowd: *watch*
Harry: *goes down lift*
Once he reached the bottom, Peter was there waiting for him.
Harry: Now 당신 know why they call me Dirty Harry.
Peter: Oh, I already knew.
Harry: Not you.
suicidal pony: Me?
Harry: Yeah.
The 다음 morning, Harry, and Peter went to a crime scene. Another 조랑말 was killed 의해 Scorpio during the suicide scene.
Harry: He attacked at a perfect time.
Peter: Yeah. Now what?
Harry: Now we find out about his 다음 move.
Captain: Listen up 당신 two. Scorpio sent us another letter.
Harry: What does it say?
Dear SFPD,
I am glad to tell 당신 that I no longer want $150,000. Instead I want to double it, and have $300,000. Come up with it if 당신 can pussies.
Scorpio
Harry: Well, he definetly likes to call us names.
Peter: Don't remind me.
Harry: I know what we'll do.
다음 night, Harry, and his partner were waiting at the docks,
Peter: So we just wait for Scorpio to call us?
Harry: Pretty much. Everything 당신 hear from me, 또는 Scorpio will be coming from this *shows wire* You'll have to listen carefully, but if 당신 go through any tunnels, it'll be hard for 당신 to hear.
Peter: Understood.
The phone rang, and Harry went to it
Harry: Hello?
Scorpio: Is this Harry?
Harry: Yeah, are 당신 Scorpio?
Scorpio: Yes. Now I'm going to have 당신 do a few things for me before I get the money. I don't want to see any other cops then you.
Harry: Sure thing. Where am I going?
Scorpio: First let me tell 당신 one this. I have a little filly trapped in the sewers. If 당신 screw up, I'll have her killed.
Harry: Ok, now where do 당신 want me to go?
Scorpio: Go to the 꽃 샵 in 건초 Ashbury.
Harry: *runs*
Peter: *drives car*
Harry: *gets to 꽃 shop*
The phone there rang, and Harry picked it up.
Scorpio: Good work. Now next, you'll go to the trolley station underground.
Harry: *goes to trolley station*
Peter: *follows*
Harry: *gets to phone booth* I'm here.
Scorpio: Excellent. Now take the train that'll be arriving
engineer: *blows horn*
Scorpio: Now
engineer: *pulls into station*
Harry: *enters trolley*
Peter: I can't hear anything
engineer: *gets to 다음 station*
Harry: *walks to phone booth*
Scorpio: *calling station*
mustache pony: *picks up phone*
Harry: HEY! Get away from there *hits other pony*
Scorpio: Who was that?
Harry: A retard. Now what?
Scorpio: Now you're gonna go to the park.
Harry: *runs*
Peter: *slowly follows*
Once Harry arrived at the park he saw another 조랑말 waiting 의해 a tower with a 십자가, 크로스 on the top.
Scorpio: Good, 당신 made it.
Harry: Now what am I doing?
Scorpio: Exactly as I say. Pull out your gun.
Harry: *shows gun*
Scorpio: My, that's a big pistol. Throw it on the ground.
Harry: *drops gun*
Scorpio: Now give me the money
Harry: *hands over bag*
Scorpio: Good work. *hits harry* Now, here's what's going to happen next. If 당신 want that filly to survive the sewer, 당신 let me leave town, without any cops following me. Do we understand each other? *hits Harry* Do we understand each other?
Peter: *slowly enters park*
Scorpio: 당신 know what? Fuck it. I'm gonna let her die!
Peter: NO! *shoots Scorpio*
Harry: Peter, get outta here!
Scorpio: *shoots Peter*
Harry: *grabs gun*
Scorpio: *escapes*
Harry: Hold on. I'm getting 당신 to a hospital
While Scorpio was walking toward a football stadium, and ambulance, and a cop car arrived where Harry was at.
Harry: Did 당신 call for the 구급차 dumby?
Henry: Duh, Peter did.
Harry: Smart pony, unlike 당신
Henry: *drives*
Harry: *gets in his car* Good thing I'm not with that guy *drives behind Henry*
At the football stadium.
Harry: *arrives at entrance*
Scorpio: *running down bleachers*
Harry: Stop!
Henry: *turns on lights*
Scorpio: Huh?
Harry: *shoots Scorpio*
Henry: *turns on other lights*
Scorpio: *lying on ground*
Harry: Where's the filly?
Scorpio: 당신 can't do this!! I HAVE RIGHTS TO LIVE!
Harry: Everypony says that.
Scorpio: It's true though! I HAVE RIGHTS TO LIVE!! I GOT RIGHTS TO LIVE!!!
The 다음 morning, near the sewer system on the Golden Neigh bridge, Harry was watching the medics take the filly out of the sewer. She was dead.
At the police station
Captain: 당신 shouldn't have shot him.
Harry: Why are 당신 saying that?
Captain: The man has rights to live.
Harry: 당신 really believe this guy?
Captain: We don't believe him, we know. It says here Scorpio has rights to live. We need to bring him in alive.
Harry: What for? We're talking about a Serial killer, murdering innocent ponies, and 당신 want him alive?
Captain: It's not my choice. It's the mayor's.
Scorpio: *walking through park* I know how to get outta here. But first, I gotta do something for the police. *continues walking* (I gotta make it look like Harry beat me up) *walks into house*
Black pony: Man what can I do for you?
Scorpio: I have $100, and it's all yours if 당신 beat me up.
Black pony: Beat 당신 up for money?
Scorpio: Every penny of it.
Black pony: *takes money* Your wish is my command *beats up Scorpio*
Scorpio: *bleeding, with skin coming off*
Black pony: 당신 sure about this?
Scorpio: Every penny's worth it. 당신 stupid worthless n***er.
Black pony: *continues beating up Scorpio* This one's on the house *kicks Scorpio through glass*
At the hospital, a 조랑말 on a 침대 was being rolled down a hallway. He was being filmed 의해 news reporters.
News: Can 당신 tell us who did this to you?
Scorpio: It was somepony working for the San Franciscolt Police Department. Some call him Dirty Harry, and he beat me up like this for no reason.
Captain: *turns off tv* Explain this to me.
Harry: I was nowhere near him.
Captain: Then how come he's saying 당신 beat him up?!
Harry: He's framing me.
Captain: If 당신 touch him once more, I'm gonna suspend 당신 of your work.
Harry: Yeah whatever *leaves police station*
Harry was at another hospital where his partner was at.
Peter: Thanks for coming to check on me 당신 guys.
Harry: No problem Pete.
Kayla: You're welcome handsome.
Peter: Tell the kids I'm going to be out in four days.
Kayla: Sure thing baby *kisses Peter*
Nurse: Ok 당신 two, your time is up.
Harry & Kayla: *walk down stairs*
Kayla: How do 당신 know Peter?
Harry: He's my partner in the police force.
Kayla: That's nice. How many crimes did 당신 solve together?
Harry: None. But he helped me prevent a 조랑말 from killing himself.
Kayla: Wow.
Harry: I went up to where he was about to jump, and when he did jump I caught him.
Kayla: Why did he jump with 당신 up there?
Harry: I forced him to. Do 당신 enjoy being married to a cop?
Kayla: Why? What's your wife like?
Harry: She died three years ago.
Kayla: Oh, that's so sad.
Harry: Yeah. Peter's a good 조랑말 I don't want the same stuff happening to him.
That night, in a gunshop.
Scorpio: Hello.
Cashier: Hi, how are you?
Scorpio: I'm great. Listen, I need a gun, any gun.
Cashier: Well I have a Walther from WW2.
Scorpio: Let me see it.
Cashier: *shows gun
Scorpio: Ok *K.O's cashier*
After knocking out the cashier, Scorpio 스톨, 훔친 ammo for the gun he had, and took 더 많이 money. He was now going to make his escape.
It was another bright morning in San Franciscolt. A group of happy colts, and fillies were getting ready to go to school on the bus, when the bus driver stopped at the bus stop. Then that's when Scorpio arrived.
Bus driver: Come on in children.
Scorpio: And stallion! Ok, take me to a phone booth.
Bus Driver: I can't sir. I gotta take these kids to school
Scorpio: Either 당신 do as I say, 또는 I get my gun to have 당신 fired.
Bus Driver: Fuck. *drives*
Scorpio: 저기요 kids, I'm going along with you. Who wants to sing a song? Old Mcdonald had a farm
kids: EIEIO.
Scorpio: And on his farm he had a duck.
kids: EIEIO
At the SFPD Headquarters... Again.
Harry: *parks car*
Russian cop: The captain wants 당신 in his office now.
Harry: Great. *walks to captain's office*
Captain: Oh good, you're hear. I have Scorpio on the phone.
Harry: Hello?
Scorpio: 당신 listen well 당신 sonovaprick. I'm on my way to the airport. I have a busload of colts, and fillies. If any cop tries to interfere. They all die.
Bus driver: I wanna say something.
Scorpio: Sure
Bus Driver: It wasn't my fault, he came in with a gun-
Scorpio: Shut up. Now we gotta go *hangs up*
Harry: Well what do we do?
Captain: Nothing.
Harry: 당신 mean you're going to let that guy kidnap several little ponies?
Captain: We have to, and if 당신 interfere with him, you're fired!
Harry: Fine. Just gonna go do my patrol
On the Golden Neigh Bridge
Bus Driver: *driving*
Scorpio: Row row row your boat, gently down the stream
kids: Merrily merrily merrily merrily life is but a dream.
Bus Driver: (If only they knew what was happening.)
fat colt: Excuse me sir. Can 당신 tell us where you're going?
Scorpio: The airport. Now keep singing! Row row row your boat-
fat colt: Why are we going there?
Scorpio: Quit asking me questions! *hits colt* Now sing! row row row your 보트 gently down the stream!!
fat colt: I wanna go home.
Scorpio: Be Quiet!! Row row row your 보트 gently down the stream!! And turn right there.
bus driver: *prepares to turn right*
Scorpio: NOT HERE!! The 다음 one
bus driver: *takes 다음 turn*
Harry: *standing on bridge*
Scorpio: How did he get there?
Harry: *waiting*
bus driver: *slows down*
Scorpio: Come on 당신 stupid green Fillys, 옮기기 faster.
Harry: *jumps on bus*
Scorpio: AAHHH! After I told him NO COPS!!!! *takes over bus*
Kids: *scream*
Scorpio: *hits car*
driving pony: *honks horn*
Scorpio: *pushes car off road*
Harry: *hanging on*
Scorpio: Get over here, and drive!! *grabs gun*
filly: It's a gun!! aAH!!
Scorpio: *shoots through ceiling*
Harry: *dodges bullets*
kids: *screaming*
bus driver: *spins out through gate*
Scorpio: 당신 idiot!
bus driver: *hits pile of gravel*
Harry: *flies into gravel*
Scorpio: *runs out of bus*
Harry: *follows*
Scorpio: *runs into building*
Harry: *shoots Scorpio*
Scorpio: *dodges bullet, then jumps on conveyor belt*
Harry: *follows*
Scorpio: *takes cover*
Harry: *shoots again*
Scorpio: *returns fire, then runs*
Harry: *follows*
Scorpio: *pushes worker*
Worker: Hey, watch where you're going bitch!
Harry: *follows*
They soon got to a lake, where a little 망아지, 콜트 was fishing
Scorpio: *kidnaps colt*
Harry: *stops*
Scorpio: Drop that gun, 또는 the 망아지, 콜트 dies
Harry: *does nothing*
Scorpio: I'm not bluffing 당신 peice of hell! Drop the gun!!
Harry: *shoots Scorpio*
Colt: *runs*
Scorpio: *reaches for gun*
Harry: Uh uh. I know what you're thinking punk. Did he 불, 화재 six shots 또는 only five? To tell 당신 the truth I 로스트 track myself after all this excitement. Being this is a .44 magnum, the most powerful handgun in all of Equestria, and will blow your head clean off. 당신 gotta ask yourself a question. Do I Feel Lucky?
Scorpio: *lays on ground*
Harry: Well do 당신 punk?!
Scorpio: *reaches for gun*
Harry: *kills Scorpio*
Scorpio: *falls into lake*
Harry knew he was going to get fired, so he took his police badge, and threw it far away on the other side of the lake. Then, he walked. Away from the criminal he just killed, but possibly into another story.
The End
A story that takes place in San Franciscolt.
Dirty Harry.
It was a wonderful, and sunny 일 when a 조랑말 with a sniper 소총 was looking at a mare swimming. The 조랑말 with the 소총 was named Scorpio, and he was an assassin. The mare swimming was at the 상단, 맨 위로 of a huge building, and Scorpio was going to do whatever he could to kill this mare. Why? Because he's evil.
With one shot, the mare was killed. Blood came out of her body, and into the swimming pool looking like red paint being washed off a brush.
Half an 시간 later, a 조랑말 was walking. This 조랑말 was known as Harry Calahan, but most ponies refer to him as, Dirty Harry. He was good at his job, which was being a detective. The way he does things make him loose cannon, which is how he likes it.
After walking up 20 flights of stairs, Harry got to where he was, the roof where the mare was killed. He examined the crime scene, and saw the bullet in the body. He took it out carefully, and put it in a plastic bag marked evidence. Then he walked back downstairs.
A few hours later
Police Captain: Take a 좌석 Harry
Harry: *sits down*
Police Captain: I'm going to breef 당신 on a 조랑말 that has been wanted for a while. They call him Scorpio, and he sent us a letter.
Harry: What does it say?
Police Captain: The letter says, I want $150,000. If I don't get it in a few days, 더 많이 ponies will die.
Harry: Only loser would do something like that.
Police Captain: Why the fuck do 당신 call every criminal a loser?
Harry: They're too poor to do anything good, so they cause crime.
Police Captain: Yep, sure. That's all I need 당신 for Harry, I'll call 당신 if I need anything else.
Harry: *walks out of office*
Half an 시간 later, Harry went to grab some lunch. There was place he always enjoyed going to called Dou Chebag's.
Harry: *enters restaurant*
Dou: Harry, how's it going?
Harry: Hello Mr. Chebag, how are you?
Dou: Wonderful. Would 당신 like your usual?
Harry: I think I'll surprise 당신 this time. Only chili today.
Dou: 당신 got it. *looks out window* A lot of polution out there, it's not good.
Harry: No it isn't. Why can't we have clean streets for once?
Dou: We live in a town of crime.
Harry: Yeah *sees bank* I need 당신 to make a call.
Dou: What for?
Harry: Tell the police that there's a bank robbery on 7th Avenue.
Dou: Ok, here's your hotdog.
Harry: Thanks. *eats hotdog* Now, just wait for the calvary to arrive.
But when Harry finished his hotdog, the alarm at the bank went off.
Harry: Oh damnit.
robbers: *exit bank*
Harry: *walks down 거리 with gun*
robbers: *pull out shotgun*
Harry: HALT!
robbers: *shoot gun*
Harry: *shoots shotgun carrying burglar*
burglars: *get in car*
Harry: *shoot driver*
driver: *crashes into firehydrant*
burglars: *get out*
Harry: *shoots both burglars*
civilians: *scream, and run*
Harry: *notices leg* They shot me
shotgun carrying burglar: *lays on ground*
Harry: *goes toward burglar*
burglar: *reaches for gun*
Harry: Uh uh. I know what you're thinking. Did he 불, 화재 six shots, 또는 only five? To tell 당신 the truth I 로스트 track myself after all this excitement. *shows gun* Being this is a .44 magnum, the most powerful handgun in all of Equestria, and will blow your head clean off. 당신 gotta ask yourself a question. Do I feel lucky?
Burglar: *silent*
Harry: Well do 당신 punk?
Burglar: *does nothing*
Harry: *takes shotgun*
Burglar: Hey. I got's to know.
Harry: *pulls trigger*
Nothing happened. And as Harry walked from the dying criminal, the police arrived.
The 다음 morning Scorpio was on 상단, 맨 위로 of another building with his sniper rifle. He was aiming it at some ponies, but didn't know who to shoot.
Meanwhile in the police station.
Harry: *walking to office*
filly: Hey. You're the one that stopped the bank robbery!
Harry: Yeah, I am.
Cop: Sorry, he's with me. When are 당신 going to cut your hair?
Harry: The same 일 당신 get your's cut.
russian cop: Excellent work yesterday.
Harry: Thanks foreign cop of Equestria.
Henry: Duh, great job yesterday.
Harry: Thanks dumby.
Henry: 당신 could be nice for once.
Harry: I could, but I prefer not to.
Captain: Harry? In my office.
Henry: See? Be nice. *puts cup upside down* Now to pour in my coffee.
Captain: We heard that one of the robbers shot you.
Harry: Yeah, I'm past that, so?
Captain: We found 당신 a new partner.
Peter: *walks in*
Captain: This 조랑말 is your new partner.
Harry: Would've been nice if I chose someone 더 많이 reliable.
Peter: Is he always like this?
Captain: Yeah, he pretty much hates everyone. Ask him what he hates the most.
Peter: What do 당신 hate the most?
Harry: Mexicans.
And with that we return to the sniper. He found his target, and was getting ready to shoot when a helicopter was flying close to him.
Scorpio: *gets ready*
Pilot: 당신 with the gun. Yes you, lay on the ground.
Scorpio: *runs inside*
Hours later
Peter: Do 당신 always go on patrol in the night?
Harry: We're not on patrol, we have to go to where the assassin is.
Peter: Did they tell 당신 where?
Harry: It was at a house on Riverside drive. We're almost there
pedestrian: *gets in way*
Harry: *stops*
Peter: Jeez
Harry: Get the fuck outta the way asshole. *continues driving*
Peter: wow.
Harry: It's his fault.
When they got to the house they had their guns. Was the sniper really there though?
They reached the house, but it seemed vacant.
Harry: Let's check in the alley. *goes in*
Peter: *follows*
Harry: *looks in house*
Peter: 당신 see anyone?
Harry: Yeah *looks at mare* And she's naked.
hobos: *hit Harry* What do 당신 think you're doing perv? We oughta call the cops on you!
Harry: I am the cops
hobos: *beat up Harry*
Peter: That's enough! San Franciscolt Police Department!
hobos: *stand near wall*
Harry: Let them go. We gotta check somewhere else.
operator: Inspector 71, 당신 there?
Harry: Yeah. What's up?
operator: We've got a 신고 of a 조랑말 trying to commit suicide on the TransEquestria pyramid.
Harry: On our way. *drives*
90 초 later, Harry arrived at the building.
Cops: *put spotlight on suicidal pony*
Harry: Let me up there.
Cops: Ok
Harry: *goes up lift*
suicidal pony: What are 당신 doing man?
Harry: Nothing, I just wanted to talk.
suicidal pony: About what?
Harry: What you're doing. Don't jump, it'll just make things worse.
suicidal pony: Why?
Harry: Well think about it. I had a friend who commited suicide over at St. Foalis. It was a terrible mess, he jumped from the gateway arch. There was a lot of blood, and some ponies vommited at the sight.
suicide pony: 당신 bastard *jumps*
Harry: *catches suicidal pony*
crowd: *watch*
Harry: *goes down lift*
Once he reached the bottom, Peter was there waiting for him.
Harry: Now 당신 know why they call me Dirty Harry.
Peter: Oh, I already knew.
Harry: Not you.
suicidal pony: Me?
Harry: Yeah.
The 다음 morning, Harry, and Peter went to a crime scene. Another 조랑말 was killed 의해 Scorpio during the suicide scene.
Harry: He attacked at a perfect time.
Peter: Yeah. Now what?
Harry: Now we find out about his 다음 move.
Captain: Listen up 당신 two. Scorpio sent us another letter.
Harry: What does it say?
Dear SFPD,
I am glad to tell 당신 that I no longer want $150,000. Instead I want to double it, and have $300,000. Come up with it if 당신 can pussies.
Scorpio
Harry: Well, he definetly likes to call us names.
Peter: Don't remind me.
Harry: I know what we'll do.
다음 night, Harry, and his partner were waiting at the docks,
Peter: So we just wait for Scorpio to call us?
Harry: Pretty much. Everything 당신 hear from me, 또는 Scorpio will be coming from this *shows wire* You'll have to listen carefully, but if 당신 go through any tunnels, it'll be hard for 당신 to hear.
Peter: Understood.
The phone rang, and Harry went to it
Harry: Hello?
Scorpio: Is this Harry?
Harry: Yeah, are 당신 Scorpio?
Scorpio: Yes. Now I'm going to have 당신 do a few things for me before I get the money. I don't want to see any other cops then you.
Harry: Sure thing. Where am I going?
Scorpio: First let me tell 당신 one this. I have a little filly trapped in the sewers. If 당신 screw up, I'll have her killed.
Harry: Ok, now where do 당신 want me to go?
Scorpio: Go to the 꽃 샵 in 건초 Ashbury.
Harry: *runs*
Peter: *drives car*
Harry: *gets to 꽃 shop*
The phone there rang, and Harry picked it up.
Scorpio: Good work. Now next, you'll go to the trolley station underground.
Harry: *goes to trolley station*
Peter: *follows*
Harry: *gets to phone booth* I'm here.
Scorpio: Excellent. Now take the train that'll be arriving
engineer: *blows horn*
Scorpio: Now
engineer: *pulls into station*
Harry: *enters trolley*
Peter: I can't hear anything
engineer: *gets to 다음 station*
Harry: *walks to phone booth*
Scorpio: *calling station*
mustache pony: *picks up phone*
Harry: HEY! Get away from there *hits other pony*
Scorpio: Who was that?
Harry: A retard. Now what?
Scorpio: Now you're gonna go to the park.
Harry: *runs*
Peter: *slowly follows*
Once Harry arrived at the park he saw another 조랑말 waiting 의해 a tower with a 십자가, 크로스 on the top.
Scorpio: Good, 당신 made it.
Harry: Now what am I doing?
Scorpio: Exactly as I say. Pull out your gun.
Harry: *shows gun*
Scorpio: My, that's a big pistol. Throw it on the ground.
Harry: *drops gun*
Scorpio: Now give me the money
Harry: *hands over bag*
Scorpio: Good work. *hits harry* Now, here's what's going to happen next. If 당신 want that filly to survive the sewer, 당신 let me leave town, without any cops following me. Do we understand each other? *hits Harry* Do we understand each other?
Peter: *slowly enters park*
Scorpio: 당신 know what? Fuck it. I'm gonna let her die!
Peter: NO! *shoots Scorpio*
Harry: Peter, get outta here!
Scorpio: *shoots Peter*
Harry: *grabs gun*
Scorpio: *escapes*
Harry: Hold on. I'm getting 당신 to a hospital
While Scorpio was walking toward a football stadium, and ambulance, and a cop car arrived where Harry was at.
Harry: Did 당신 call for the 구급차 dumby?
Henry: Duh, Peter did.
Harry: Smart pony, unlike 당신
Henry: *drives*
Harry: *gets in his car* Good thing I'm not with that guy *drives behind Henry*
At the football stadium.
Harry: *arrives at entrance*
Scorpio: *running down bleachers*
Harry: Stop!
Henry: *turns on lights*
Scorpio: Huh?
Harry: *shoots Scorpio*
Henry: *turns on other lights*
Scorpio: *lying on ground*
Harry: Where's the filly?
Scorpio: 당신 can't do this!! I HAVE RIGHTS TO LIVE!
Harry: Everypony says that.
Scorpio: It's true though! I HAVE RIGHTS TO LIVE!! I GOT RIGHTS TO LIVE!!!
The 다음 morning, near the sewer system on the Golden Neigh bridge, Harry was watching the medics take the filly out of the sewer. She was dead.
At the police station
Captain: 당신 shouldn't have shot him.
Harry: Why are 당신 saying that?
Captain: The man has rights to live.
Harry: 당신 really believe this guy?
Captain: We don't believe him, we know. It says here Scorpio has rights to live. We need to bring him in alive.
Harry: What for? We're talking about a Serial killer, murdering innocent ponies, and 당신 want him alive?
Captain: It's not my choice. It's the mayor's.
Scorpio: *walking through park* I know how to get outta here. But first, I gotta do something for the police. *continues walking* (I gotta make it look like Harry beat me up) *walks into house*
Black pony: Man what can I do for you?
Scorpio: I have $100, and it's all yours if 당신 beat me up.
Black pony: Beat 당신 up for money?
Scorpio: Every penny of it.
Black pony: *takes money* Your wish is my command *beats up Scorpio*
Scorpio: *bleeding, with skin coming off*
Black pony: 당신 sure about this?
Scorpio: Every penny's worth it. 당신 stupid worthless n***er.
Black pony: *continues beating up Scorpio* This one's on the house *kicks Scorpio through glass*
At the hospital, a 조랑말 on a 침대 was being rolled down a hallway. He was being filmed 의해 news reporters.
News: Can 당신 tell us who did this to you?
Scorpio: It was somepony working for the San Franciscolt Police Department. Some call him Dirty Harry, and he beat me up like this for no reason.
Captain: *turns off tv* Explain this to me.
Harry: I was nowhere near him.
Captain: Then how come he's saying 당신 beat him up?!
Harry: He's framing me.
Captain: If 당신 touch him once more, I'm gonna suspend 당신 of your work.
Harry: Yeah whatever *leaves police station*
Harry was at another hospital where his partner was at.
Peter: Thanks for coming to check on me 당신 guys.
Harry: No problem Pete.
Kayla: You're welcome handsome.
Peter: Tell the kids I'm going to be out in four days.
Kayla: Sure thing baby *kisses Peter*
Nurse: Ok 당신 two, your time is up.
Harry & Kayla: *walk down stairs*
Kayla: How do 당신 know Peter?
Harry: He's my partner in the police force.
Kayla: That's nice. How many crimes did 당신 solve together?
Harry: None. But he helped me prevent a 조랑말 from killing himself.
Kayla: Wow.
Harry: I went up to where he was about to jump, and when he did jump I caught him.
Kayla: Why did he jump with 당신 up there?
Harry: I forced him to. Do 당신 enjoy being married to a cop?
Kayla: Why? What's your wife like?
Harry: She died three years ago.
Kayla: Oh, that's so sad.
Harry: Yeah. Peter's a good 조랑말 I don't want the same stuff happening to him.
That night, in a gunshop.
Scorpio: Hello.
Cashier: Hi, how are you?
Scorpio: I'm great. Listen, I need a gun, any gun.
Cashier: Well I have a Walther from WW2.
Scorpio: Let me see it.
Cashier: *shows gun
Scorpio: Ok *K.O's cashier*
After knocking out the cashier, Scorpio 스톨, 훔친 ammo for the gun he had, and took 더 많이 money. He was now going to make his escape.
It was another bright morning in San Franciscolt. A group of happy colts, and fillies were getting ready to go to school on the bus, when the bus driver stopped at the bus stop. Then that's when Scorpio arrived.
Bus driver: Come on in children.
Scorpio: And stallion! Ok, take me to a phone booth.
Bus Driver: I can't sir. I gotta take these kids to school
Scorpio: Either 당신 do as I say, 또는 I get my gun to have 당신 fired.
Bus Driver: Fuck. *drives*
Scorpio: 저기요 kids, I'm going along with you. Who wants to sing a song? Old Mcdonald had a farm
kids: EIEIO.
Scorpio: And on his farm he had a duck.
kids: EIEIO
At the SFPD Headquarters... Again.
Harry: *parks car*
Russian cop: The captain wants 당신 in his office now.
Harry: Great. *walks to captain's office*
Captain: Oh good, you're hear. I have Scorpio on the phone.
Harry: Hello?
Scorpio: 당신 listen well 당신 sonovaprick. I'm on my way to the airport. I have a busload of colts, and fillies. If any cop tries to interfere. They all die.
Bus driver: I wanna say something.
Scorpio: Sure
Bus Driver: It wasn't my fault, he came in with a gun-
Scorpio: Shut up. Now we gotta go *hangs up*
Harry: Well what do we do?
Captain: Nothing.
Harry: 당신 mean you're going to let that guy kidnap several little ponies?
Captain: We have to, and if 당신 interfere with him, you're fired!
Harry: Fine. Just gonna go do my patrol
On the Golden Neigh Bridge
Bus Driver: *driving*
Scorpio: Row row row your boat, gently down the stream
kids: Merrily merrily merrily merrily life is but a dream.
Bus Driver: (If only they knew what was happening.)
fat colt: Excuse me sir. Can 당신 tell us where you're going?
Scorpio: The airport. Now keep singing! Row row row your boat-
fat colt: Why are we going there?
Scorpio: Quit asking me questions! *hits colt* Now sing! row row row your 보트 gently down the stream!!
fat colt: I wanna go home.
Scorpio: Be Quiet!! Row row row your 보트 gently down the stream!! And turn right there.
bus driver: *prepares to turn right*
Scorpio: NOT HERE!! The 다음 one
bus driver: *takes 다음 turn*
Harry: *standing on bridge*
Scorpio: How did he get there?
Harry: *waiting*
bus driver: *slows down*
Scorpio: Come on 당신 stupid green Fillys, 옮기기 faster.
Harry: *jumps on bus*
Scorpio: AAHHH! After I told him NO COPS!!!! *takes over bus*
Kids: *scream*
Scorpio: *hits car*
driving pony: *honks horn*
Scorpio: *pushes car off road*
Harry: *hanging on*
Scorpio: Get over here, and drive!! *grabs gun*
filly: It's a gun!! aAH!!
Scorpio: *shoots through ceiling*
Harry: *dodges bullets*
kids: *screaming*
bus driver: *spins out through gate*
Scorpio: 당신 idiot!
bus driver: *hits pile of gravel*
Harry: *flies into gravel*
Scorpio: *runs out of bus*
Harry: *follows*
Scorpio: *runs into building*
Harry: *shoots Scorpio*
Scorpio: *dodges bullet, then jumps on conveyor belt*
Harry: *follows*
Scorpio: *takes cover*
Harry: *shoots again*
Scorpio: *returns fire, then runs*
Harry: *follows*
Scorpio: *pushes worker*
Worker: Hey, watch where you're going bitch!
Harry: *follows*
They soon got to a lake, where a little 망아지, 콜트 was fishing
Scorpio: *kidnaps colt*
Harry: *stops*
Scorpio: Drop that gun, 또는 the 망아지, 콜트 dies
Harry: *does nothing*
Scorpio: I'm not bluffing 당신 peice of hell! Drop the gun!!
Harry: *shoots Scorpio*
Colt: *runs*
Scorpio: *reaches for gun*
Harry: Uh uh. I know what you're thinking punk. Did he 불, 화재 six shots 또는 only five? To tell 당신 the truth I 로스트 track myself after all this excitement. Being this is a .44 magnum, the most powerful handgun in all of Equestria, and will blow your head clean off. 당신 gotta ask yourself a question. Do I Feel Lucky?
Scorpio: *lays on ground*
Harry: Well do 당신 punk?!
Scorpio: *reaches for gun*
Harry: *kills Scorpio*
Scorpio: *falls into lake*
Harry knew he was going to get fired, so he took his police badge, and threw it far away on the other side of the lake. Then, he walked. Away from the criminal he just killed, but possibly into another story.
The End
This is the Rolls Royce Richard wants.
