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Seanthehedgehog presents

Ponies On The Rails

Starring

Peirce Hawkins "Hawkeye" From Seanthehedgehog

Red Rose From Chibiemmy

Honey Bee From NaomiWinx

Coffee Creme From KarinaBrony

Snowflake & Orion From Alinah09

Gordon, Percy, Jeff, Bartholomew, and Pete from Seanthehedgehog

Hawkeye: *stops train at station* Hi. My name is Peirce Hawkins, though someponies prefer to call me Hawkeye. For ten episodes of this season, I have made many readers of this series very happy, and gave them a good laugh. Well, not all of them came from me, but I tried! Now let's take a look at some of the highlights we all enjoyed.

Episode 1

Hawkeye: Hi, 당신 must be my new 불, 화재 mare.
Coffee Creme: Yup.
Hawkeye: Name's Peirce Hawkins, though some ponies call me Hawkeye. Climb aboard, and we'll get going.
Coffee Creme: *enters locomotive*
Hawkeye: Alright, all 당신 have to do is use this shovel, to put all the coal into this firebox. I'll let 당신 know when to stop.
Coffee Creme: *shoveling coal*
Hawkeye: *waiting for signal*
Snowflake: *turns signal green*
Hawkeye: Alright, once I pull this lever, we'll get the wheels moving, and we're outta here. *pulls lever*

The wheels moved, but Hawkeye's train didn't go anywhere

Hawkeye: Come on. You're made to pull this!
Coffee Creme: *shoveling coal*
Hawkeye: Alright. Now we're moving.

다음 part

Hawkeye: Now we uncouple the locomotives, and put them in the servicing facility. Meanwhile, three engines will get behind the train, and push it down the hump.
Coffee Creme: How do 당신 hump a train?
Hawkeye: 당신 don't. It goes down a 언덕, 힐 which is called the hump, because it goes uphill, and shortly after that it goes downhill.
Coffee Creme: Is that it?
Hawkeye: Sort of. The cars in the train get uncoupled, and they go to different parts in the yard. The operator here is quick on her hooves.
Coffee Creme: What's her name?
Hawkeye: Red Rose. 당신 can see her through the windows in that tower.
Orion: Hey. Get your engines uncoupled, and let's go.
Hawkeye: Sure thing. *uncouples engines* Alright. We're set. *enters locomotive*
Coffee Creme: *follows*
Orion: *couples engines*
Red Rose: *switches tracks*
Hawkeye: *gets out of way*
Orion: *pushes train*
Hawkeye: And now, enjoy the action.

다음 part

February 13, 1948

Hawkeye: *waits at station*
Gordon: *driving train*
Pete: Darling, where are 당신 going?
Theresa: I'm going for a walk.
Pete: Alright, but come back soon. Our train leaves soon.
Honey: Surely this signal has to turn green someday.
Hawkeye: It will, and don't call me Shirley.
Theresa: *on bridge* Is this part of your line?
Pete: No, that belongs to the Santa Neigh line.
Gordon: *driving train*
Pete: Watch out!!
Theresa: Ah! *drops purse*
Gordon: *going 50* Get outta the way!!
Theresa: *grabs purse*
Pete: Hurry up!
Gordon: *runs over Theresa*
Pete: *gasp* 당신 IDIOT!!! 당신 killed my wife!!
Gordon: *drives faster*

Episode 2

B&O worker: *sees Hawkeye's train*
Hawkeye: *stops train* Hey, how's it going?
B&O worker: Fine. Your engines are ready to be picked up.
Hawkeye: Oh, my controller made me stop here along the way. He said 당신 can keep these engines in our train for a few of your Pacifics.
B&O worker: Really? Thanks.
Hawkeye: No, thank you. Where are the Pacifics.
B&O worker: Let me check with my boss. *walks away*
Coffee Creme: Well? Now what?
Hawkeye: We tell his boss the same story. In the meantime, just relax.

다음 part

Red Rose: *switching tracks* Orion, slow down a little will you?
Orion: Fine *slows down*
Hawkeye: *blows whistle*
Red Rose: *switches wrong track* Wha-?!
Orion: Seems like they got the engines.
Pete: *sees Hawkeye's engines* What happened? I thought I was leasing diesels here!
Hawkeye: Yeah about that. They didn't have any, and gave us these three engines instead.
Pete: Alright. Tomorrow, you, and Coffee Creme are going to carry a freight down into Greeley.
Hawkeye: Alright. See 당신 tomorrow Pete.
Coffee Creme: Bye boss.
Snowflake: Hey, wait for me!
Honey: And me!
Hawkeye: Oh why not? The 더 많이 the merrier.
Snowflake: Let's all hop in my station wagon.
Others: Sounds good!
Snowflake: Who's house are we going to today?
Gordon: Mine!
Hawkeye: No thank you, I'd rather stay healthy.

다음 part

Gordon returned to Cheyenne with the two diesels, painted in B&O colors.

Pete: What is this? Did 당신 steal these engines?!
Gordon: No sir! I-It was Hawkeye!! He set me up!
Pete: Hawkeye would never do something like that! Unlike you, he is a hard worker, delivers trains on time, and does not steal engines like what you've done!
Gordon: But- you've got to find him, and interrogate him about this!
Pete: No buts. He is in Greeley, and is lucky not to deal with 당신 like I am right now. 당신 are suspended from work with no pay for a month!
Gordon: Fuck!
Pete: Two months.
Gordon: Fine! *runs away*

Episode 3

Gordon returned to work after his suspension. He was happy to return, but little did he know that things would ultimately go bad for him.

Pete: Welcome back Gordon. Now repeat after me.
Gordon: What for?
Pete: Repeat after me! I will not do anything to disgrace this railroad.
Gordon: I will not do anything to disgrace this railroad.
Pete: 또는 anyone that works here
Gordon: 또는 anyone that works here.
Pete: I will do exactly what my boss tells me to do.
Gordon: I will do exactly what my boss tells me to do.
Pete: And I will not fuck with him in anyway.
Gordon: And I will not fuck with him in anyway.

다음 part

Gordon: Ok, no cursing. This is my train, no cursing.
Hawkeye: Piss.
Gordon: Hey, what the hell did I just say?
Hawkeye: N*gger.
Gordon: Oh wow, are 당신 deaf?
Hawkeye: Damnit.
Gordon: Still going. Really?
Hawkeye: Hell.
Gordon: Do 당신 want me to jump out of this train?
Hawkeye: It'd be pretty nice.
Gordon: Well I'm not the one breaking rules here. So go shovel the coal, pronto.
Hawkeye: We'll be fine. When we get up to Sherman hill, then we'll need 더 많이 coal. Get ready.
Gordon: This is going to be a long journey.
Hawkeye: Eeyup

다음 part

Gordon: Hey, if 당신 let me drive this train, I will be the happiest 조랑말 ever.
Hawkeye: *flicks Gordon*
Gordon: dadlhbndfgonlkesjgkodsfgbvdfljkgzx! YOU. Leave this train right now! If you're going to torturize me, then get off this train!

Later

Hawkeye: Alright, time to 하이볼, 이 down the line. *pushes lever*
Gordon: How fast do 당신 intend to go?
Hawkeye: 60.
Gordon: What?!
Hawkeye: 60
Gordon: I heard you, but that made me give the intention to ask again. What?!
Hawkeye: Well how fast do 당신 want to go, 20?
Gordon: Shouldn't we be going 80?
Hawkeye: If we hit 75, and we try to stop, the breaks will brake. Don't 당신 remember?
Gordon: No, that's why I asked.

Episode 4

Gordon: Whoa whoa whoa! Hold up 당신 losers. What's going on here?
Hawkeye: We're shooting a commercial. Winner
Gordon: W-
Hawkeye: Of the loser's championship!
Gordon: UGH!! I was going to come back here, and get rehired, but I guess not! *walks away*
Director: Well, if that's the case, 당신 can't be in the commercial.
Gordon: I don't wanna be in it anyway!

Director: Not you!! Pete!
Pete: What?! He's not in the crew anymore, he was fired!
Director: Then rehire him so he can be a part of the crew.
Hawkeye: If only 당신 were here for the two, and a half years Gordon worked on this line.

다음 part

Gordon: *walks to taxis*
Hawkeye: Let's follow him now! *follows Gordon*
Coffee Creme: *follows*
Gordon: TAXI!!
Cab driver: *stops*
Gordon: *gets in* Take me to Manehattan at Grand Central Station.
Cab driver: *drives*
Hawkeye: *whistles* TAXI!
cab driver: *stops*
Hawkeye: Follow that cab
cab driver: *takes off*
Hawkeye: *gets in* With me, and the lovely mare!

다음 part

Red Rose: Gordon, make sure 당신 uncouple the tank cars from the box car.
Gordon: I know what to do! *uncouples tank cars* Oh wait. I think there were chemicals in there. *chases tank cars*
Orion: *Stops*
Red Rose: What are 당신 doing Gordon?!?
Gordon: Saving your ass! So I can slap it!
Red Rose: I wish he did jump off the empire state building.

The freight cars kept going down the 언덕, 힐

Gordon: NO! STOP!! *jumps on*
Orion: Oh my god.
Gordon: *applies brakes* Oh piss! The brakes broke!! *grabs stones*
Red Rose: Where did that come from?!
Gordon: STOP!! STOP!! *throws stones idiotically*
Orion: Should we tell Pete about this?
Red Rose: Nah, let's watch his moronic act.

Episode 5

Gordon: *stops engine*
Coffee Creme: A little closer.
Gordon: ugh *backs up*
Coffee Creme: Perfect. *goes to air brakes*
Gordon: Let's go! Hurry up.
Coffee Creme: *connecting air brakes*
Gordon: *blows whistle*

Meanwhile, up in the signalbox

Snowflake: Hmm, that train must be ready. *turns signal green*
Gordon: *accelerates*
Coffee Creme: WAit!! *finishes connecting air brakes*

Unfortunately Coffee Creme was standing on the couplers while the train was in motion.

다음 part

Coffee Creme: I'm surprised we haven't crashed yet.
Gordon: We're not going to.
Coffee Creme: I think we should just go forward. The tracks are probably fixed now.
Gordon: No, they're not. As a matter of fact, we had to wait for them to fix the track.
Coffee Creme: Still, could be worse.

Suddenly, the sound of a crashing train could be heard. Orion crashed into the back of Gordon's train.

(Everybody, say it with me)

Luckily, no one was hurt.

Except for the millions of passengers that probably just died on Orion's passenger train. Luckily, no one important was hurt.

Pete: Well, I heard of an epic screw up 당신 caused with Orion's passenger train today.
Gordon: (Fuck!)
Pete: But I heard 당신 did a very good job fixing the damage caused 의해 the train wreck.
Gordon: (Say what?) Thanks.
Pete: As a reward, I'm giving 당신 the entire week off.
Gordon: Thank 당신 sir.
Pete: Starting now.
Gordon: Yahoo! *runs away* I'm going to a 바닷가, 비치 alongside Neigh Jersey. See 당신 ponies in one week!!

Episode 6

Pete: Jeff isn't feeling well, and took the 일 off. So we got 당신 another 조랑말 to work with.
Percy: Uh, ok. Where is he?
Pete: He's right here.

The new 조랑말 was a black stallion, and walked rather quickly to the two ponies. His voice made him sound like he smoked 10 packs of cigarettes.

BS: Hello. My name is.. Douchebag.

다음 part

Red Rose: Percy? What's wrong?
Percy: I got fired.
Red Rose: *gasp* Why?
Percy: Apparently I let a new worker steal a truck, and crash into a train.
Red Rose: That's terrible.
Percy: Yeah. If only Jeff wasn't sick.
Red Rose: Wait a minute. 당신 just gave me an idea!
Percy: What?
Red Rose: Where's Coffee Creme?
Percy: I don't know.
Red Rose: Alright. What about Gordon?
Percy: He doesn't come back from his break until tomorrow.
Red Rose: Shit! Do 당신 know where Jeff lives?
Percy: I think so.
Red Rose: Than go find him.
Percy: I'm on it! *flies off*

다음 part

Percy: Alright. Time travel away.
Jeff: Uh, Percy? I don't know any time traveling spells.
Percy: Great. Our only hope is Coffee Creme.
Gordon: *stops nearby* 또는 당신 can count on me.
Percy: Gordon? But you're not supposed to get back until tomorrow.
Gordon: Yeah well I didn't want to get late so I decided to leave early. Anyway, that's not the point. I heard 당신 got fired, and needed some help.

Episode 7

May 25, 1951

We start this episode near the station of Cheyenne. An observation car was sitting on a siding near the line.

???: Oh my god man! How many of these engines do 당신 still have?
Pete: The same ammount we had since 1944.
???: That's not good! We can't allow this!!!
Pete: Sir, we have a lot of engines, why do 당신 insist on replacing some in favor of new engines?
???: 당신 know why. We need 더 많이 diesels, and less steam! If we don't get rid of these engines, WE'LL LOSE MONEY!!!
Pete: I think we're already losing money buying new diesels.
???: And we make money 의해 selling the steam engines! Alright, listen. We need these engines gone within eight years, alright? Start with the switchers, than continue with the stronger engines. If 당신 don't get the job done, 당신 can go work for another railroad. Now get the fuck off my car!

다음 part

Pete: Uh, Kevin? I mean sir? What is my consist for today?
Kevin: 당신 are to get a train that is 90,000 pounds worth of oil up Sherman Hill, with a 9000 class engine.
Pete: Sir, the rails are slippery. I can't get a 90,000 pound train up there.
Kevin: Yeah, well some ponies said I couldn't wear sunglasses during a snowstorm, but here I am.
Pete: Why are 당신 wearing sunglas-
Kevin: Don't 당신 질문 me! I have a horn, and wings!!

다음 part

After leaving the yard, we drove to Sherman Hill. Our locomotive was doing 35

Kevin: 당신 may need to go a bit faster.
Pete: How much?
Kevin: Go 40.
Pete: *makes train go 40*

We started going up the hill. It was a long way up, and despite my being nervous, I was determined to get this train up the hill.

Pete: How are we doing now?
Kevin: Excellent. We've got a steep grade here, so why don't we keep this thing at 40, and talk?
Pete: About what?
Kevin: Do 당신 have a special somepony?
Pete: I do, my wife.
Kevin: How long have 당신 been married?
Pete: 6 months.
Kevin: That's nice.
Pete: What about you? Any special somepony?
Kevin: I found a few mares, but I'm not entirely sure which one to ask out.
Pete: Do 당신 think about them a lot?
Kevin: Yeah. Sometimes I think about being in 침대 with them.
Pete: wow. Good luck with that. If 당신 get to that.

Episode 8

Honey had just finished bringing a train into Cheyenne. She was going to wait for her 다음 assignment at the station, when she saw a sign.

Honey: The secret unicorn club?
Gordon: That's right, and if you're not a unicorn 당신 can't join.
Honey: Who would want to 가입하기 your club anyway?
Jeff: Me.
Coffee Creme: Me too.
Honey: What for?
Jeff: He's offering us free things, like 음식 and alcohol.
Gordon: Too bad you're not a unicorn. Leave!

다음 part

Police pony: Hey!! What are 당신 doing?
Gordon: Me?
Police: Yes you! It says no alcoholic beverages in the station!!
Gordon: Well I'm not in the station! I'm on the platform, sitting in a chair, with a grill!!
Police pony: 당신 can't have any of that on the platform. You're underarrest *arrests Gordon*
Jeff: Haha!! Gordon got arrested!
Pete: Yeah, but I wanted to punish him! We gotta bust him out.

다음 part

Gordon: I wanna apologize for being mean to you. Can 당신 all forgive me?
Jeff: No.
Gordon: Holy shit! I just apologized!
Jeff: *laughs* Just joking with 당신 Gordon. Of course we forgive you.
Hawkeye: 당신 may be an asshole at times, but deep down, you're a good pony.
Coffee Creme: I still don't understand why 당신 hate steam engines.
Gordon: I don't hate them, I just think diesels are better.
Hawkeye: Well, let me just say that these steam engines will never be replaced!

Ten years later

Hawkeye: *sees diesels* Great. Ten years ago, I said some things that would eventually become a lie.

Episode 9

Gordon: *Looking at map of Equestria* Hey, Bart! Do 당신 know how long it would take to get to Germany from my place if I was driving?
Bartholomew: Perhaps 당신 should try looking at an actual world map instead of that pathetic nonsense!
Gordon: Who asked you?! *grabs smartphone* Fine, if you're gonna be like that, I'll just ask the smartphone, and it'll tell me how to get from here to Germany, and how long it will take!
Bartholomew: WE CAN'T USE SMARTPHONES IN 1951!!! Have 당신 로스트 your mind?!
Gordon: *searching* Watch how it's done asshole! Going from Equestria to Germany. Yo, I do what I want nigga! *gasps*
Bartholomew: *looks*
Gordon: Swim across the atlantic ocean! Seriously?
Bartholomew: Oh my. Better get started, that sure is a bloody long swim.

다음 part

Bartholomew: Alright then, 당신 have to continue slowly.
Hawkeye: Uh, Bartholomew?
Bartholomew: Yes?
Hawkeye: I've been an engineer since 1947. I know what I'm doing.
Bartholomew: I was just making sure 당신 knew. On The 런던 & New England Railway, we made sure the engineer knew so no accidents would accure.
Coffee Creme: Don't 당신 mean occur?
Bartholomew: No, I mean accure. Carry on *teleports back to train*

다음 part

Meanwhile in the train yard at Cheyenne.

Red Rose: Orion, a little faster please.
Orion: *pushes freight cars a little faster*
Bartholomew: I don't see why Gordon hated this. *uncouples freight cars*
Red Rose: Be careful Bartholomew, there's a tank car with chemicals coming toward you. Uncouple it from the rest of the train.
Bartholomew: Ok
Orion: *pushes chemical car past Bartholomew*
Bartholomew: 저기요 wait!! *runs past chemical car*
Orion: *stops*
Bartholomew: *uncouples tank car*

The tank car started rolling, but Bartholomew's hoof somehow got stuck on the ladder*

Bartholomew: AHH! HELP!!!
Red Rose: What?
Orion: The?
Bartholomew: FUCK!! *nearly hits signal*
Orion: I hope he doesn't get hurt
Bartholomew: *grabs gun*
Red Rose: Why does he have that?
Bartholomew: *shoots ladder* I got to get free *shoots ladder*
Orion: Look out for the box car 다음 to your tank car
Bartholomew: AH *hits box car, and falls off tank car* I'M OK!! Leave me here so I can rest my broken bones!!

episode 10

When Gordon got home, he was looking at a book while eating pizza.

Gordon: *reading book* After getting rid of your hunger, the spell should work. *finishes slice of pizza* Ok, let's do this. *stands up*

Soon, some light came from his horn, and after a quick flash, everything changed

Gordon: Alright. *checks money* I got everything, good.
Mare: What are 당신 doing in my house?
Gordon: Oh this is my house. 당신 see, I'm a unicorn, and I used a time traveling spell.
Mare: Where did 당신 come from?
Gordon: 1951.

다음 part

Colt: *walks to Gordon* Hey, how many pounds do 당신 have?
망아지, 콜트 friends: *laugh*
Gordon: Hey, how many mares did 당신 fuck in bed? Get a life losers. *walks away*
Colts: *cry*
Gordon: *looks at store* What's a Verizon? *enters*
책상, 데스크 Clerk: Good morning. Can I help 당신 with something?
Gordon: Yes, I'd like a Verizon. *looks at cellphones* What are all these?
책상, 데스크 Clerk: Cell phones. Would 당신 like one?
Gordon: Yes. *checks money* I have $200. What can 당신 give me?
책상, 데스크 Clerk: Well, we got some smartphones over there.
Gordon: I'd like one of those please.
책상, 데스크 Clerk: *grabs smartphone* This is our latest, and greatest model. It costs $100.
Gordon: Here *pays for smartphone*
책상, 데스크 Clerk: Thank you, *gives Gordon charger* You'll need this for when your battery dies.
Gordon: Ok, thanks. *takes charger*

다음 part

Gordon was bored, so he decided to check out what the Union Pacific looked like.

Gordon: I'll bet every single steam engine is dead. *runs to station*

After three 분 of running

Gordon: *panting* Ugh, how much longer do I have to go? *looks back* (All I did was run across the street?!?!?)
Train driver: *blows horn*
Gordon: Oh damn, the tracks are right 의해 the road

And that is the end.

Season 2 will arrive after The Nightmare Before 크리스마스 is finished
added by TimberHumphrey
added by TimberHumphrey
video
my
magic
friendship
my little 조랑말
마이 리틀 포니 우정은 마법
video
my
magic
friendship
my little 조랑말
마이 리틀 포니 우정은 마법
posted by Seanthehedgehog


Song: link
 Blue lines fly along the screen, then the words appear
Blue lines fly along the screen, then the words appear

 Robotnik: Snooping as usual I see! *Talks faster* Snooping as usual *Slows down* I see!
Robotnik: Snooping as usual I see! *Talks faster* Snooping as usual *Slows down* I see!


St. Foalis Maressouri, 6 PM.

A crowd of thousands of ponies gathered at the Gateway Arch to experience a comedy show that was being filmed live in 4k. The comedian? Tom Foolery.

Crowd: *Clapping, and chanting* Tom! Tom! Tom! Tom! Tom! Tom! Tom!
Tom: *Arrives at a temporary stage under the Gateway Arch*
Crowd: *Cheering, as they continue to clap*
Tom: Thank 당신 everypony.
Crowd: *Continuing to cheer and clap*
Tom: Thank 당신 very much....
continue reading...
당신 see that weight on your wings?
So i know what you're feeling
Yeah, 당신 got bigger dreams
So keep on believing

Don't let your colors
bleed into grey
We got each other
and chances to take
Yeah, 당신 got bigger dreams
So keep on believing

I'll chase the sky with you
I'll chase the night with you
I'll chase the light with you
If 당신 wanna fly
I'll chase the sky

Whoa oh oh oh
Whoa oh oh oh
Whoa oh oh oh
If 당신 wanna fly
I'll chase the sky

Anything in your heart
Is 더 많이 than worth keeping (Mmm)
I'll shoot for the stars
If that's what 당신 needed

Just say the word
and baby, i'll run
I'll find a way
to go beyond the sun
I'll...
continue reading...
posted by TimberHumphrey
so here are a few theories i got for this show:

Theory #1: since Hasbro and DHX never even bothered to give Cozy Glow any semblance of a backstory, my theory is that she's actually a fully-grown adult 조랑말 stuck inside a filly's body. she was born with a condition that never let her physically age after filly-hood.

Theory #2: while we do know Sunset used to be Celestia's 상단, 맨 위로 student, i always thought there was something 더 많이 to it than just a teacher-student relationship. and since we never get to see if Sunset had parents at some point in time, my theory is that she's Celestia's adopted daughter. remember how worried Celestia was about Sunset at the end of the first EqG movie? yeah, something tells me they're 더 많이 than just teacher and ex-student.

Theory #3: at one point in time, King Sombra used to be a great and loved king, before he became corrupted 의해 his desire for power that forced Celestia and Luna to banish him into the abyss.
posted by Seanthehedgehog
The final part of Tom Foolery's show is here.

Tom: Now, most of 당신 probably don't know this, but we all have several things in common. I'll give 당신 an example. We're all here together, in the greatest city in Maressouri.
Crowd: *Clapping*
Tom: I have some even funnier ones. When you're in your car, and 당신 stop at a red light. Do 당신 ever try to 옮기기 an extra inch 또는 two?
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: But when 당신 see other cars in front of you, you're in no rush to get as close to the other guy as possible. 당신 just coast to the red light.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: Coast to the red light, then all of a sudden...
continue reading...
posted by Seanthehedgehog
Tom was now making fun of the modern movie industry.

Tom: As much as I enjoy being an actor, when I'm not entertaining 당신 with jokes.
Crowd: *Quietly laughing*
Tom: I always want to make sure the movie I'm in is good. They're not all comedies, my most recent film, Suicide was actually quite dark. Yet for some reason, comedians feel like it's a great way to improve their career. Correct me if I'm wrong, but being in a dramatic R-rated film will not improve your comedy career.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: That's why no one knows who Jim Carrey is anymore.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: His recent role as Dr. Robotnik...
continue reading...
posted by Seanthehedgehog
Tom continued insulting politicians, much to the delight of his audience.

Tom: Presidential candidates are always a good target for comedians to make fun of, but 당신 know what another 인기 target is? Black Lives Matter.
Crowd: *Cheering*
Tom: Many black ponies are accusing millions of ponies of the Caucasian race, for something only one police officer did in the Midwest!
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: Who's the racist now 당신 assholes?!
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: And do 당신 really think that every single Caucasian hates blacks?! When did we time travel back to the 18th Century?!
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: Even the...
continue reading...
posted by Seanthehedgehog
What's a comedy show without politics? Tom is going to make fun of the presidential election.

Tom: I don't know what's worse, this covid pandemic, 또는 the presidential election.
Crowd: Yeah!!!
Tom: I don't trust either Trump, 또는 Biden so I'm not going to vote. *Talks like a filly* But Tom, it's important for the economy!
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: Losing jobs, and spending money on taxes is not good for the economy!
Crowd: *Cheering*
Tom: I don't give a fuck what ponies tell me. I don't trust the president, I don't trust the princess, I don't trust anyone that works for the Equestrian government! Why?...
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posted by Seanthehedgehog
After mentioning things 당신 should only do alone, Tom had another segment for his audience to enjoy.

Tom: 당신 know one thing I like to do when I'm alone? Rewatch some episodes of On The Block.
Crowd: *Cheering*
Tom: Not only do I enjoy comedy, but I also enjoy being an actor. It's the only job where 당신 can get away with murder.
Crowd: *Quietly laughing*
Tom: Unless you're Robert Deniro, and the main protagonist is Al Pacino.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: Seeing those two together was a lot of fun, but what really surprised me was seeing Pacino as a cop. He's normally the criminal, but I still got a kick...
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posted by Seanthehedgehog
 Robotnik: Snooping as usual I see! *Talks faster* Snooping as usual *Slows down* I see!
Robotnik: Snooping as usual I see! *Talks faster* Snooping as usual *Slows down* I see!


St. Foalis Maressouri, 6 PM.

A crowd of thousands of ponies gathered at the Gateway Arch to experience a comedy show that was being filmed live in 4k. The comedian? Tom Foolery.

Crowd: *Clapping, and chanting* Tom! Tom! Tom! Tom! Tom! Tom! Tom!
Tom: *Arrives at a temporary stage under the Gateway Arch*
Crowd: *Cheering, as they continue to clap*
Tom: Thank 당신 everypony.
Crowd: *Continuing to cheer and clap*
Tom: Thank 당신 very much.
Crowd: *Continuing to cheer and clap*
Tom: And shut up.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom:...
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posted by Seanthehedgehog


Jerry: Sorry, but I got nothing.
Vito: I don't feel like dying. That's the reason we left the family in the first place.
Harlan: *Hears a car* What's that? *Looks out the window*
Vito: What is it?
Harlan: A cop.

The three stallions started to panic, but Vito had a plan.

Vito: I think I know what to do. Go upstairs and let me handle this.
Police Pony: *Rings the doorbell*
Vito: *Opens the door* How can I help 당신 officer?
Police Pony: We got a complaint a while ago. Apparently this morning, some ponies had a gunfight just in front of your house. 당신 know anything about this?
Vito: No. I was riding...
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posted by Seanthehedgehog
What to expect in this episode.

Twilight Sparkle: *In a black 바꿀 수 있는, 컨버터블 with two Royal Guards. A bullet hits the door of the 바꿀 수 있는, 컨버터블 they're in*
Royal Guard: Princess, get down!

---

Captain Jefferson: Someone tried to assassinate the princess as she entered our town.

---

Twilight: Why would somepony want me dead?
Toby: That's what we're trying to find out.

---

Tim: *Gets punched three times 의해 a blue unicorn. He gets punched one 더 많이 time, and his glasses break*

Intro
Song: link

Julia: *Driving her police car on the round freeway*
Tim: *Sitting 다음 to her*

Gran Turismo

Starring Larry Wilcox as Tim...
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posted by Seanthehedgehog
What to expect in this week's episode.

Tim: You're splitting us up?
Captain Jefferson: Just until Saturday. Someone's gotta teach the new guys what to do.

---

Pony: *Driving a sports car* Turn on the nitrous.
Pony 2: *Turns on the nitrous*
Pony: *Going faster*

---

Captain Jefferson: These two guys are wanted 의해 the State Troopers, both in this state, and in Pennsylvania.
Tim: *Driving after the bad guys*
Captain Jefferson: We gotta be on our game.
Tim: *Hits another car, and goes on two wheels*

Song: link

Julia: *Driving her police car on the round freeway*
Tim: *Sitting 다음 to her*

Gran Turismo

Starring...
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posted by Seanthehedgehog
When Saten Twist returned to Los Angeles in the Super Chief, he saw Jake looking at him.

Jake: *Angry*
Saten: *Sweating* Why is he giving me that look? *Stops the train*
Jake: *Tapping his left front hoof on the ground, waiting for Saten Twist*
Saten: *Climbs down from the engine's cab* Why are 당신 angry at me?
Jake: 당신 owe me an apology for the way 당신 talked to me yesterday.
Saten: John-
Jake: IT'S JAKE!!!!
Saten: Why are 당신 getting angry at me all of a sudden?
Jake: Your lecture towards me made me lose my job, and now I can't find work anywhere else.
Saten: 당신 quit?
Jake: Yeah. I'm still waiting...
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posted by Seanthehedgehog
 Robotnik: Snooping as usual I see! *Talks faster* Snooping as usual *Slows down* I see!
Robotnik: Snooping as usual I see! *Talks faster* Snooping as usual *Slows down* I see!


Song: link
 Celestia: *Runs from the left. She jumps up, her wings spreading wide, then her face gets into the triangle*
Celestia: *Runs from the left. She jumps up, her wings spreading wide, then her face gets into the triangle*


Albuquerque, New Mexicolt. July 19th, 1958

Saten Twist: *Walking towards the Super Chief*
Stallion 16: Here to take this train all the way to Los Angeles?
Saten Twist: *Nods, and climbs into the cab*
Conductor: All aboard!!
Saten Twist: *Blows the horn twice, and makes the train go forward*
 This is the train Saten Twist is driving, called the Super Chief. A luxury train for ponies.
This is the train Saten Twist is driving, called the Super Chief. A luxury train for ponies....
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Oh shit, BT's not making fun of someone this time around? (well in an indirect way I might be but let's see where this goes)

Yeah, I don't care if anyone reads this, I just want to get this off of my chest, because I'm gonna try and be real with this site for once and it's 1 AM in the morning.

One thing I've noticed in the time that i've been a part of this club (since like, 2012 또는 something, idk), is that this club has 로스트 its backbone. The recent year, now, I've been shitposting like mad, pissing in everyone's cornflakes. I have admittedly been the worst kind of person, for NO good reason....
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added by NocturnalMirage
Source: facebook, EQD