당신 sit beside Justin on the couch, laptop on your lap while 당신 scroll through your timeline on Twitter. Not finding anything interesting, 당신 switch over to going through your mentions. A smile finds its way to your lips as 당신 read through the tweets at the top, all of them flattering compliments. Your smile instantly turns into a frown however when 당신 continue to read and find aq lot of rather hateful messages.
“@y/t/n is so ugly… I don’t understand why Justin is with her”
“@y/t/n ever thought about trying a diet? I don’t think it’d hurt. Lol”
“@y/t/n just kill yourself already! Nobody wants 당신 here and Justin doesn’t 사랑 you”
당신 whimper softly, the familiar urge coming back. Closing your computer, 당신 place it on the coffee 표, 테이블 in front of you. 당신 stand up from the 침상, 소파 slowly and stretch your limbs - pretending to be tired. Of course, since the clock had only just reached 8pm, Justin looked at 당신 questioningly when 당신 announced that your were going to bed.
“Are 당신 okay, babe? 당신 know it’s only eight, right?” He asks 당신 skeptically and he adds a chuckle at the end, trying to conceal his concern for you.
“I’m okay, Justin. Just tired.” 당신 answer quickly. Leaning down, 당신 press your lips to his cheek, “Night.”
“Night…?” He trails off and his sentence is turned into a 질문 because 의해 then 당신 have already disappeared up the stairs.
———————-
A couple of weeks later, 당신 and Justin are eating 공식 만찬, 저녁 식사 at 집 with Pattie, Scooter, Carin and Ryan and his girlfriend - who had become one of your best friends. Everyone are just enjoying themselves when Justin places the delicious looking 음식 at the table. Scooter lets out a holler, complimenting on how good it looked.
당신 cringe as the wonderful taste enters nostrils, but 당신 still wait patiently for your turn. 당신 only place a small portion of 음식 on your plate though and you’re grateful that Justin is too engrossed in a conversation with Ryan too notice.
Throughout dinner, 당신 keep quiet and continuously poke your 음식 with the fork. 당신 don’t talk much either, only from time to time when Carin desperately tries to add 당신 into the conversation.
“Are 당신 okay, honey?” Pattie asks suddenly when she notices your absent mind.
당신 bite your lip, placing the fork back down 다음 to your plate. Looking up to meet Pattie’s concerned eyes, 당신 give her a small smile. “Yeah. I’m just not feeling too good. I think I’m gonna go lay down for a bit. I’m sorry.”
“Oh, hon, don’t apologize. We only want 당신 to be okay. Go take a nap, sweetheart. I’ll make sure Justin checks up on 당신 later.” Pattie gives 당신 a reassuring smile, but 당신 know her well and can easily see the worry deep within her eyes. 당신 nod, send an apologizing look to Ryan’s girlfriend before heading upstairs.
Meanwhile downstairs, all of the girls are looking at Justin hopelessly when 당신 disappear out of sight and they are sure 당신 can’t hear.
“Justin, something is up with [Y/N] and I don’t like it. She barely ate any of her food!” Carin exclaims and Justin nods.
“I know.” Justin states, his voice cracking at the last word. Before he can say anything else, Pattie is out of her chair and beside her son. She pulls him into her arms and Justin nuzzles his face into her neck, willing himself not to cry.
“I…” Justin trails of, pulling away from Pattie. “She has barely eaten for the past week. Last couple of weeks, actually. I’m so worried that she’s gonna faint anytime when I’m not there. What if she faints in the shower, mom? What would I do then?”
“Have 당신 tried talking to her about it, hon?”
“Yes! I’ve tried asking her about it, almost pressuring her into eat but she’ll either say that be isn’t hungry 또는 like she did now, saying she’s not hungry. I… I think she’s starving herself, mom, and I don’t know what to do.”
Justin looks so scared and 로스트 that Pattie’s 심장 aches for her son. She wishes she can just take the pain away from him, but she also knows that this is something Justin and [Y/N] has to fix themselves.
“Go talk to her now, bro. We’ll leave 당신 guys alone. Thanks for 공식 만찬, 저녁 식사 though.” Ryan speaks up for the first time. He stands from his chair and pulls his best friend into a hug. “Talk to her, find out what’s wrong and help her fix it. We need our girl back soon, JB. The happy, careless one.”
————-
“[Y/N]? Babe?”
당신 hear Justin call out quietly and your 심장 begins to race unbelievably fast, pumping the blood around in your veins. 당신 only watch as the blood streams faster from the cuts on your wrist, not moving a muscle.
Vaguely, 당신 can hear Justin call out your name again, but you’re caught up in your own world to think anything about it. 당신 continue to watch as the blood trickles down your forearm, dripping down and then staining your skinny jeans. Glancing around the bathroom 당신 notice your high heels and suddenly 당신 remember the guest 당신 had invited for dinner.
That’s when 당신 break. 당신 break into tears, your crying increasing every 초 until you’re full on sobbing. Forgetting about your cuts, 당신 bring your knees up to your chest. Hugging them, 당신 continue to sob uncontrollably and 당신 even have to gasp for air from time to time.
“Babe, is that you? [Y/N]? [Y/N]!” Justin’s voice is frantic now and before 당신 can respond 또는 even comprehend it, Justin has opened the bathroom door.
당신 don’t look at him. 당신 don’t want to. 당신 just can’t. Justin doesn’t 사랑 you. He thinks you’re ugly and so does everyone else. 당신 deserve this. So 당신 continue to sob into your knees, pretending your boyfriend isn’t there.
“Oh… My god. Babe!”
Justin is 의해 your side like lightening and pulls 당신 into his arms. He gently pries your hands away from your knees 의해 grabbing your wrists and if it hadn’t been for the cuts - 당신 wouldn’t have cared. 당신 wince and a whimper escapes your mouth which causes Justin to freeze his actions. He looks down slowly, as if he was afraid of the sight that would meet him. He takes a sharp breath, his hand shaking slightly as he inspects your arm.
“Fuck…” Justin mutters and 당신 can easily hear that it’s strained. He looks up again and his glazed eyes meet your puffy ones. “Why?” He croaks.
“Because I’m not good enough, Justin! I’ll never be good enough. I-I’m… I’m not good enough.” 당신 whisper the last word, still trying to catch 당신 breath as the salty tears continue to stream down your face.
“Of course you’re good enough! 당신 always have been and 당신 always will be. Who in the world told 당신 that 당신 weren’t?” Justin asks bewildered, anger blazing in his eyes.
“Your fans…”
“W-what?” Justin stammers, trying to understand what 당신 just told him.
“Your fans, Justin. They tweet me all the time saying how ugly I am, that I don’t deserve you, that I’m better off dead. It hurts, Justin. It hurts so much…” 당신 whimper, hiding your head in the crook of Justin’s neck.
“Shh, baby, I know. I know. Is it… Is that why 당신 haven’t been eating lately? Did any of them call 당신 fat?” Justin asks cautiously seeing as he doesn’t want to make 당신 feel worse. 당신 bare nod, but it’s there.
“[Y/N]…” And he’s crying too. 당신 feel his tears on your exposed neck, but 당신 don’t care. All 당신 want is yo sit there in Justin’s arms as long as possible. “I was so worried about you! I thought there was something seriously wrong. 당신 were almost avoiding me and it hurts knowing that 당신 don’t want to talk to me about it. I was so scared you’d faint as soon as my eyes left you. You’re so thin, so fragile… I don’t like this new you. I want the old [Y/N] back - the one I fell in 사랑 with. Can 당신 do that?”
“I-I can’t, Justin. It hurts too much. I… I need to take the pain away. I deserve to be in pain!” 당신 whimper, the pain from your cuts now beginning to appear.
“No!” Justin exclaims immediately and 당신 flinch, hearing the tone of his voice.
“I’m sorry, baby. I didn’t mean to scare you. I just… I hate seeing 당신 in so much pain, [Y/N]. It physically hurts me to know that you’ve been hurting yourself. We’re gonna get through this, okay? I’ll talk to my fans, I’ll have a press conference, hell, I’ll even 삭제 your twitter if I have to.” He laughs sadly, gripping each of your arms to pull 당신 away so he can look at you.
“Everything’s gonna be alright. I’ll help 당신 through this. I will be here every step of the way. I won’t leave, ever.”
“Promise?” 당신 sniff, looking at him. “I promise.”
“And 당신 are beautiful, okay? So damn beautiful. 당신 are the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen and 당신 always will be. I don’t want 당신 to change. I 사랑 당신 for you, [Y/N]. Forget those jealous bitches, they’ve got nothing on you. You’ll always be my 가장 좋아하는 girl.”
“You are so corny!” 당신 giggle quietly as Justin pulls 당신 close to him again. 당신 feel his chest shake as he laughs half-heartedly.
“Yes, but 당신 사랑 me!” Justin teases, stroking your hair softly.
“Mm, that’s true.” 당신 whisper as 당신 doze of. Tired of crying, tired of feeling useless, tired of starvation. So 당신 lay in Justin’s arms, listening to his calming heartbeat, while falling asleep. 당신 smile softly, knowing that Justin would always 사랑 you, no matter what.
I just wanted to say that if any of you, anyone, have these kind of problems - I’m here. My ask box is always open and I’m here to talk if 당신 want me to be. And 당신 are beautiful. 당신 are so damn beautiful, all of you. I 사랑 당신 so much! x
“@y/t/n is so ugly… I don’t understand why Justin is with her”
“@y/t/n ever thought about trying a diet? I don’t think it’d hurt. Lol”
“@y/t/n just kill yourself already! Nobody wants 당신 here and Justin doesn’t 사랑 you”
당신 whimper softly, the familiar urge coming back. Closing your computer, 당신 place it on the coffee 표, 테이블 in front of you. 당신 stand up from the 침상, 소파 slowly and stretch your limbs - pretending to be tired. Of course, since the clock had only just reached 8pm, Justin looked at 당신 questioningly when 당신 announced that your were going to bed.
“Are 당신 okay, babe? 당신 know it’s only eight, right?” He asks 당신 skeptically and he adds a chuckle at the end, trying to conceal his concern for you.
“I’m okay, Justin. Just tired.” 당신 answer quickly. Leaning down, 당신 press your lips to his cheek, “Night.”
“Night…?” He trails off and his sentence is turned into a 질문 because 의해 then 당신 have already disappeared up the stairs.
———————-
A couple of weeks later, 당신 and Justin are eating 공식 만찬, 저녁 식사 at 집 with Pattie, Scooter, Carin and Ryan and his girlfriend - who had become one of your best friends. Everyone are just enjoying themselves when Justin places the delicious looking 음식 at the table. Scooter lets out a holler, complimenting on how good it looked.
당신 cringe as the wonderful taste enters nostrils, but 당신 still wait patiently for your turn. 당신 only place a small portion of 음식 on your plate though and you’re grateful that Justin is too engrossed in a conversation with Ryan too notice.
Throughout dinner, 당신 keep quiet and continuously poke your 음식 with the fork. 당신 don’t talk much either, only from time to time when Carin desperately tries to add 당신 into the conversation.
“Are 당신 okay, honey?” Pattie asks suddenly when she notices your absent mind.
당신 bite your lip, placing the fork back down 다음 to your plate. Looking up to meet Pattie’s concerned eyes, 당신 give her a small smile. “Yeah. I’m just not feeling too good. I think I’m gonna go lay down for a bit. I’m sorry.”
“Oh, hon, don’t apologize. We only want 당신 to be okay. Go take a nap, sweetheart. I’ll make sure Justin checks up on 당신 later.” Pattie gives 당신 a reassuring smile, but 당신 know her well and can easily see the worry deep within her eyes. 당신 nod, send an apologizing look to Ryan’s girlfriend before heading upstairs.
Meanwhile downstairs, all of the girls are looking at Justin hopelessly when 당신 disappear out of sight and they are sure 당신 can’t hear.
“Justin, something is up with [Y/N] and I don’t like it. She barely ate any of her food!” Carin exclaims and Justin nods.
“I know.” Justin states, his voice cracking at the last word. Before he can say anything else, Pattie is out of her chair and beside her son. She pulls him into her arms and Justin nuzzles his face into her neck, willing himself not to cry.
“I…” Justin trails of, pulling away from Pattie. “She has barely eaten for the past week. Last couple of weeks, actually. I’m so worried that she’s gonna faint anytime when I’m not there. What if she faints in the shower, mom? What would I do then?”
“Have 당신 tried talking to her about it, hon?”
“Yes! I’ve tried asking her about it, almost pressuring her into eat but she’ll either say that be isn’t hungry 또는 like she did now, saying she’s not hungry. I… I think she’s starving herself, mom, and I don’t know what to do.”
Justin looks so scared and 로스트 that Pattie’s 심장 aches for her son. She wishes she can just take the pain away from him, but she also knows that this is something Justin and [Y/N] has to fix themselves.
“Go talk to her now, bro. We’ll leave 당신 guys alone. Thanks for 공식 만찬, 저녁 식사 though.” Ryan speaks up for the first time. He stands from his chair and pulls his best friend into a hug. “Talk to her, find out what’s wrong and help her fix it. We need our girl back soon, JB. The happy, careless one.”
————-
“[Y/N]? Babe?”
당신 hear Justin call out quietly and your 심장 begins to race unbelievably fast, pumping the blood around in your veins. 당신 only watch as the blood streams faster from the cuts on your wrist, not moving a muscle.
Vaguely, 당신 can hear Justin call out your name again, but you’re caught up in your own world to think anything about it. 당신 continue to watch as the blood trickles down your forearm, dripping down and then staining your skinny jeans. Glancing around the bathroom 당신 notice your high heels and suddenly 당신 remember the guest 당신 had invited for dinner.
That’s when 당신 break. 당신 break into tears, your crying increasing every 초 until you’re full on sobbing. Forgetting about your cuts, 당신 bring your knees up to your chest. Hugging them, 당신 continue to sob uncontrollably and 당신 even have to gasp for air from time to time.
“Babe, is that you? [Y/N]? [Y/N]!” Justin’s voice is frantic now and before 당신 can respond 또는 even comprehend it, Justin has opened the bathroom door.
당신 don’t look at him. 당신 don’t want to. 당신 just can’t. Justin doesn’t 사랑 you. He thinks you’re ugly and so does everyone else. 당신 deserve this. So 당신 continue to sob into your knees, pretending your boyfriend isn’t there.
“Oh… My god. Babe!”
Justin is 의해 your side like lightening and pulls 당신 into his arms. He gently pries your hands away from your knees 의해 grabbing your wrists and if it hadn’t been for the cuts - 당신 wouldn’t have cared. 당신 wince and a whimper escapes your mouth which causes Justin to freeze his actions. He looks down slowly, as if he was afraid of the sight that would meet him. He takes a sharp breath, his hand shaking slightly as he inspects your arm.
“Fuck…” Justin mutters and 당신 can easily hear that it’s strained. He looks up again and his glazed eyes meet your puffy ones. “Why?” He croaks.
“Because I’m not good enough, Justin! I’ll never be good enough. I-I’m… I’m not good enough.” 당신 whisper the last word, still trying to catch 당신 breath as the salty tears continue to stream down your face.
“Of course you’re good enough! 당신 always have been and 당신 always will be. Who in the world told 당신 that 당신 weren’t?” Justin asks bewildered, anger blazing in his eyes.
“Your fans…”
“W-what?” Justin stammers, trying to understand what 당신 just told him.
“Your fans, Justin. They tweet me all the time saying how ugly I am, that I don’t deserve you, that I’m better off dead. It hurts, Justin. It hurts so much…” 당신 whimper, hiding your head in the crook of Justin’s neck.
“Shh, baby, I know. I know. Is it… Is that why 당신 haven’t been eating lately? Did any of them call 당신 fat?” Justin asks cautiously seeing as he doesn’t want to make 당신 feel worse. 당신 bare nod, but it’s there.
“[Y/N]…” And he’s crying too. 당신 feel his tears on your exposed neck, but 당신 don’t care. All 당신 want is yo sit there in Justin’s arms as long as possible. “I was so worried about you! I thought there was something seriously wrong. 당신 were almost avoiding me and it hurts knowing that 당신 don’t want to talk to me about it. I was so scared you’d faint as soon as my eyes left you. You’re so thin, so fragile… I don’t like this new you. I want the old [Y/N] back - the one I fell in 사랑 with. Can 당신 do that?”
“I-I can’t, Justin. It hurts too much. I… I need to take the pain away. I deserve to be in pain!” 당신 whimper, the pain from your cuts now beginning to appear.
“No!” Justin exclaims immediately and 당신 flinch, hearing the tone of his voice.
“I’m sorry, baby. I didn’t mean to scare you. I just… I hate seeing 당신 in so much pain, [Y/N]. It physically hurts me to know that you’ve been hurting yourself. We’re gonna get through this, okay? I’ll talk to my fans, I’ll have a press conference, hell, I’ll even 삭제 your twitter if I have to.” He laughs sadly, gripping each of your arms to pull 당신 away so he can look at you.
“Everything’s gonna be alright. I’ll help 당신 through this. I will be here every step of the way. I won’t leave, ever.”
“Promise?” 당신 sniff, looking at him. “I promise.”
“And 당신 are beautiful, okay? So damn beautiful. 당신 are the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen and 당신 always will be. I don’t want 당신 to change. I 사랑 당신 for you, [Y/N]. Forget those jealous bitches, they’ve got nothing on you. You’ll always be my 가장 좋아하는 girl.”
“You are so corny!” 당신 giggle quietly as Justin pulls 당신 close to him again. 당신 feel his chest shake as he laughs half-heartedly.
“Yes, but 당신 사랑 me!” Justin teases, stroking your hair softly.
“Mm, that’s true.” 당신 whisper as 당신 doze of. Tired of crying, tired of feeling useless, tired of starvation. So 당신 lay in Justin’s arms, listening to his calming heartbeat, while falling asleep. 당신 smile softly, knowing that Justin would always 사랑 you, no matter what.
I just wanted to say that if any of you, anyone, have these kind of problems - I’m here. My ask box is always open and I’m here to talk if 당신 want me to be. And 당신 are beautiful. 당신 are so damn beautiful, all of you. I 사랑 당신 so much! x
