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WARNING !!!!
EXTREME SEX SCENE DESCRIPTION!
1. On the beach, baking mud pies, 1995
"And then we would get married here on the 바닷가, 비치 and 당신 would wear one of those puffy whites dresses and we would buy a house right 의해 my parents' and we would have a dog and then we would have 아기 an-" 5-year-old Jacob black was interrupted in his – in retrospect rather decent prognosis – 의해 a handful of mud landing on his thigh.
He wrinkled his nose in disgust, which – considering the mass of smeary mud that already covered his fingers – seemed a bit theatrical, looking at the 출처 of his interruption with an expression of naïve incomprehension .
Bella 백조 sat there, hands pressed into her hip, looking as much as a fury as a seven-year-old could possibly do.
"What? We could get a cat if 당신 don't like dogs," he tried to soothe her temper – without any success.
"Do 당신 even know where 아기 come from, Jacob?" Bella asked, flames dancing behind her eyes, which reminded Jacob of those 초콜릿 things his mother refused to let him eat.
Bella could not help but feel her chest warm up a little as she saw the faintest hint of a blush creep onto the russet cheeks of Jacob Black. He was just too cute, and although Bella was still mad that she could not play inside with the twins and instead had to get her hands dirty on the cold 바닷가, 비치 with their little, annoying brother, she hesitantly decided that spending time with Jacob Black was not too bad, after all.
If he would just stop talking.
2. At a bonfire on First Beach, 2007
The flames of the bonfire danced through the dark night, casting faint warmth into the 원, 동그라미 of people gathered around it. Bella, however, cuddled 더 많이 into a decent 출처 of heat, sliding her icy hands against Jacob's bare stomach to warm them up, her head resting comfortably against his shoulder.
"We can leave if you're tired, Bells," he whispered against her dark hair, barely hiding the smug grin on his face when he felt her shivering response.
"I'm fine," she whispered back, nestling 더 많이 into his warmth. There were 더 많이 things she wanted to say – how she could never get away from the warmth of his touch, how peaceful she felt in his arms, how 안전한, 안전 he made her feel – but all that had to wait, for she knew that half of the people around them would be able to hear her every word, no matter how quietly she whispered. And those words were meant for Jacob only.
A sudden screechy outburst of giggles pulled Bella out of her warm cocoon, and she lifted her head, seeing stars first until her eyes got used to the dim light which the 불, 화재 provided on the otherwise pitch-black beach.
Quil was running around the fire, Claire thrown over his shoulders, tickling her sides. Bella grinned at the awkwardly 심장 warming picture, giggling quietly.
She looked around the odd 원, 동그라미 gathered around the bonfire, smiling inwardly, knowing this unconventional group of people had become her family over the last year.
She saw Embry roll his eyes at his best friend's behaviour, and in the 다음 second, she felt Jacob nod in Embry's direction.
"Don't be so mean to him," she whispered against Jacob's skin, admiring that she was not the only one who had to shiver.
Quil made a run for the water with a squeaking Claire on his shoulder, when Jacob took Bella's hand.
"He can take it," he whispered, " It's just so weird. He's playing Hide & Seek with her these days, and will play it with their kids at some point in the future. That's just…odd."
"It's not odd for him, and he's your best friend. Sometimes, I think you're just jealous because 당신 can't call me your 늑대 soul mate," Bella said, laughing. Still, the joke did not pass her lips easily. The imprinting issue was a constant 구름, 클라우드 lingering above them like a phantom menace. It could happen every 초 of every 일 – 또는 never at all.
Jacob could feel her tense in his arms, she was sure of that. But he knew better than to elaborate on the topic. Instead, he just pulled her closer to him, 키싱 the 상단, 맨 위로 of her head gently.
"Anyway, at least I know that our children are going to look a lot better than theirs," he said smugly, earning a laugh from Embry.
"Which children?" Bella asked, keeping a joking edge to her voice that matched Jacob's, while fear started to boil inside of her.
"Come on, Bells. I have excellent genes, it would be a waste of genetic pool if we never had children. Just imagine what a loss for the world that would be."
"In your dreams," Bella snorted, poking Jacob's stomach with her index finger – unsure if he had even felt it – and snuggled closer, closing her eyes again.
She knew this sound of his voice. He was disguising an actual opinion as a mere joke.
Suddenly, Bella felt less and less peaceful in his arms.
3. Moving into their house in La Push, 2010
"I still don't get why we had to take this house, Jake. I mean, I get that 당신 want to be close to your Dad, but a 거리 더 많이 would have been just fine and this house is just… way too big for us. If 당신 don't plan to grow even more, Jake, this is a bit beyond justified budget," Bella babbled as she carried a rug under one arm and a suitcase under the other up the three steps onto the front porch and through the front door of their new, first home.
"It has a porch, honey," Jacob called from the kitchen, where he had placed the box with the dishes.
"Yeah, that's nice, Jake. But not really necessary," Bella responded, dropping the rug onto the hallway floor.
"Nice is necessary."
"In twenty years, Jake. Not now. And don't tell me 당신 insisted on this house just because it has a porch."
Jacob sighed and turned around, looking at Bella with a strangely 쓴, 쓰라린 expression on his face, which was so rarely seen on him these days.
"Come," he almost whispered, reaching out his hand. Bella placed the suitcase on the wooden floor and took it hesitantly.
He made slow, deliberate steps, walking down the hallway, all the while brushing his thumb against the back of Bella's hand in soothing circles.
Coming to a slow stop, Jacob opened the last door on the left, gently pulling Bella into the small room. The sun shining outside flooded the room with a warm light, basking the yellow-painted walls in a summer glow. The windows stood open, the whispers of the trees outside filling the room with a peaceful melody and the smell of forest and the distant salty ocean – a smell Bella used to purely associate with Jacob.
He closed the door behind them, while Bella's forehead wrinkled in confusion. Suddenly, she felt Jacob's warm arms envelop her midsection, pulling her flush against his burning chest, his chin resting on her shoulder, lips right 의해 her ear.
He forced her to look straight ahead into the room without any words, made her involuntarily stare outside of the window into the trees, made her soak in the warmth of the sunlight, the smell of nature, the comfortableness that seemed to rest within these walls.
"I thought we agreed that this is too small for our bedroom," Bella whispered hastily, needing to break the too-peaceful silence. It made her uncomfortable.
"It is. But it's perfect for something else," he whispered, the damp feeling of his breath against her ear causing the small hairs on the nape of Bella's neck to rise and send a rush of 거위, 거 위 bumps down her spine.
Before she could say anything, ask anything, pretend not to know what he was talking about, she felt Jacob's flat hands 옮기기 from her upper stomach to her abdomen, gently stroking the skin through the sweater she was wearing.
"Just think about it," Jacob said calmly, pressing a soft, feather light 키스 against her pulse point, before removing his arms oh so slowly and leaving a confused Bella standing in the room on her own.
4. On 크리스마스 Eve, 2012
"You know I really like your Dad, Bells. But he can be such a cockblocker sometimes. 당신 know, he could have left like three hours 이전 and I would have had 당신 for myself," Jacob mumbled into Bella's neck, while her hands clutched desperately at his broad shoulders.
"Mhmm," she murmured incoherently, scraping her fingernails over Jacob's neck, feeling the rumble in his chest against her touch. She moaned as he picked her up, wrapping her legs around his waist.
"Damn," Jake grunted against her neck, taking Bella's earlobe gently between his teeth as she started grinding against him. "I was turning crazy, Bells. I am going crazy here."
Bella only moaned, turning her head so she could 키스 him properly, urgently moving her lips against his, never ceasing the grinding of her hips.
Jacob's grip on her upper thighs increased and with a final grunt, he stumbled towards their bedroom, almost kicking over the 크리스마스 tree. Neither of them cared.
When Bella gracelessly landed on their bed, she wasted no time pulling her 블라우스 over her head, ignoring the sound of one 또는 two ripped-off buttons that landed somewhere between the pillows, while Jacob fumbled with his belt.
"I can't believe I had to wait six hours for this," Jacob said with his husky voice as he covered Bella's barely clothed body with his own, the only thing that still separated him from her being his boxers and her panties.
"Could 당신 stop talking about my father, Jake?" Bella whispered into Jacob's ear as she grabbed him through his boxers, earning a surprised groan from Jacob, who dropped his head into the crook of her neck. "Bells…"
Somehow, in the 라푼젤 mess of their limbs, Jacob's hand found Bella's bare breasts, cupping one of them in his big hand, brushing his thumb softly against her nipple, grinning as she arched her back in response, always wanting to get closer, before applying 더 많이 and 더 많이 pressure.
"Jake, please," Bella whined, trying to grind her burning centre against the bulge in Jacob's boxers, but her hand, which had slipped past the waistband the moment Jacob's fingers had come into contact with her sensitive nipple, was in the way.
"Please, what?" he asked, raising his head so he could look at Bella's flushed, desperate face.
"Six hours of your teasing is enough foreplay. Hurry up," she said with venom in her voice, gripping him just a little bit too hard. His face grimaced a little, before he removed his hand from her breast and kissed her quickly but urgently. Savouring the little whimper Bella made as he removed his lips from hers, he peppered 나비 kisses down her chest, avoiding her breasts on purpose, licking a trail towards her belly button before his fingers started to dance around the hem of her panties.
Bella raised her hips off the bed, her fingers clutching the comforter she was laying on. "Come on…"
"Since when are 당신 so impatient, honey?" Jake asked a little proudly as he slipped his fingers underneath the lazy fabric and started to pull her panties down her legs, making sure to accidentally caress as much skin on the way as possible.
"Ever since 당신 decided to get into my panties beneath the 공식 만찬, 저녁 식사 table," Bella mumbled, squirming on the 침대 at Jacob's barely detectable touches.
Jacob laughed quietly at that, letting the memory of Bella's shocked and flushed face flash in front of his inner eye, before throwing her panties over his shoulder and 키싱 the side of Bella's knee.
"Jaake, please," Bella moaned, gripping his silky raven hair between her fingers, trying to pull him up.
Removing his boxers in a haste, Jacob crawled up the bed, 키싱 each of Bella's hipbones quickly, loving the feeling of her squirming beneath him.
Bella wrapped both of her hands around his neck, pulling him closer, 키싱 him deeply. She moaned into his mouth, trailing her hand down his chest, lingering above his 심장 a 초 longer than anywhere else, before wrapping her hand around him, lightly tracing her finger over the tip.
"Bells," Jacob grunted, and then something inside of him – probably six hours of unrelieved sexual tension – set loose and he pushed Bella's hand away in a rush, grabbing her hips and placing himself right at her entrance.
Bella struggled to free her lips from his, pushing her hands against his stomach. "Stop, wait!" she hissed, trying to 옮기기 her hips away, but only brushing along him in the process, causing both of them to shiver.
"You forgot something," she whispered out of breath, telling herself that there was no reason to freak out right away.
Jacob groaned, but not out of pleasure this time, and Bella could sense him tense above her.
"Bells, please. 당신 know how much I want to try without the fucking condom. I want to feel all of you," he begged quietly, lifting his head to look at her. There it was again. That look in his eyes that made Bella's 심장 shatter just a little bit at a time.
"Jake," she whispered, removing one hand from his stomach to cup his cheek, trailing her fingertip against his cheekbone, "You know I want to, as well. But 당신 know I can't take the pill and everything else is too risky for me."
He sighed, closing his eyes, before rolling off Bella, lying flat on his back.
"Would it really be such a disaster to get pregnant? I mean… I get that you're not too psyched about it and that's fine, everyone has their opinions. Really, I understand and I accept that. But 당신 act as if it was the worst thing that could ever happen to you. Like some catastrophe. And I don't get that, Bella."
Bella did not know what to answer and she felt vulnerable, laying there completely naked, without Jacob's warm body covering her own.
Suppressing the tears from spilling over, Bella sat up, sadly realizing how much she craved being close to Jacob. In order to somewhat help ease her self-consciousness, she wrapped her arms around her chest, staring out of the window – away from Jacob – into the dark, snow less night.
"Don't do that," Jacob's husky voice suddenly whispered right 다음 to her ear, warm hands softly grabbing her arms and pulling them away from her chest. Bella could no longer keep the tears at 만, 베이 and as they quietly trailed down her cheeks, she leaned back into Jacob's chest, gripping his arms which he had wrapped around her.
"I'm sorry," she whispered, apologizing for so much 더 많이 than the obvious. "For ruining the mood."
Jacob kissed her temple, catching a loose strand of hair and secured it softly behind her ear.
"Merry Christmas."
5. Visiting Renée in Jacksonville, 2013
"And look what I got here, Bella," Renée said brightly, practically dancing into the living room with a big carton box in her arms.
Bella and Jacob were sitting on the floor, while Phil was outside, busy with the barbecue. Renée sat down 다음 to them, smiling like she used to on 크리스마스 when Bella was still a child and about to unwrap her presents.
"What's that, Mom?" she asked nervously, knowing that this smile usually led to an unbearably embarrassing situation when other people were around. Nervously, Bella cast a gaze to Jacob, who looked politely interested.
Renée opened the box, pulling out a bright red t-shirt.
"No way, Mom. Did 당신 keep all of these?" Bella asked enthusiastically, her initial fear evaporated. She crawled the small distance to where the carton box was, immediately diving her hands inside, pulling at the first piece of fabric that got caught between her fingers.
"Every single one," her mother confirmed, smiling at her daughter's enthusiastic rummage through a special box of memories. "It's t-shirts from trip Bella and I used to make when she was a child," Renée explained to a confused Jacob, who was peeking around Bella's back to see what his girlfriend was doing.
"I can't believe 당신 kept all of them," Bella said, clutching a green 셔츠 to her chest. Jacob grinned, loving to see a smile like this on Bella's face.
"You know, sweetheart, I had an idea. That's why I wanted to show them to you. But, I didn't just want to go through with it in case 당신 want to keep a specific one. I know 당신 have your favourites," Renée explained excitedly, both her and Bella bursting out into giggles.
"You know, Jacob, this one time in Ohio when Bella was about eleven, she accidentally –"
"Mom!" Bella interrupted her mother, cheeks flushed. "I'll kill 당신 if 당신 tell him that."
"Why?" Jacob asked, grinning, leaning over towards Bella.
"Because it's the most embarrassing story in the world," Bella answered, 키싱 Jacob quickly, before turning back to her mother. "So, what plan did 당신 have?"
Renée grinned excitedly, grabbing two shirts and holding them up 다음 to each other. "I thought they might make a good patchwork quilt. 당신 know, to keep 당신 warm there 의해 the beach. And I thought, 당신 know, when 당신 two have kids someday, we can add to it. Maybe go to visit the world's largest ketchup bottle 또는 something."
Bella felt a choking feeling in the back of her throat, yet forced a smile onto her face at the enthusiastic expression on her mother's face. She did not dare looking at Jacob.
Unfortunately, a distant shit crossed Bella's plans of ignoring Jacob's face for the rest of their stay.
"I'll better go look," Renée said, untangling her legs from the floor and running outside, calling her husband's name in a mixture of annoyance and worry.
Silence.
Usually, Bella considered their ability to be quiet around each other as a valuable aspect of their relationship, but she hated this certain kind of silence. The type where too many words are spoken without a sound.
"It's a nice idea," Jacob finally said, his voice sounding as choked as Bella's throat felt. "Not that 당신 would actually need something to keep 당신 warm, but I think it's nice of her to-"
"Stop!" Bella interrupted Jacob harshly, but not loud enough for her mother 또는 Phil to hear her. "Please, just stop."
Finally gathering enough courage to 옮기기 her eyes, Bella carefully looked at Jacob. There it was again, that 쓴, 쓰라린 longing in his eyes.
Bella's 심장 broke a little. She was a bad, selfish person, indeed. Crushing his dreams one 의해 one.
"Jake," she murmured, scooting closer on to him, resting her small hand on his thigh in a comforting gesture, but also clinging to him, afraid that what she was about to say would drift them apart.
"Jake, I know that 당신 want children. I know 당신 have siblings and 당신 have so many brothers in the pack and you're just used to have a big family. And believe me, I know you'd be an amazing father. But… I'm not a mother, Jake. I'll never be. I don't see myself having kids. Ever. That's someone else's dream. And I know it's yours and I hate to say all this and to deny 당신 that and I understand and I tried to think about it but… no. Jake. I'm so sorry. I 사랑 당신 so much, and I know, although I'll never understand why, that 당신 사랑 me. But if 당신 want to have children… I can't give them to you."
Tears gathered in both of their eyes, brown and black glistering for different reasons. Broken dreams, broken promises, broken hearts.
Jacob never said anything to Bella's confession, for Renée came rushing back into the living room, talking about Phil's inability to set up a decent barbecue. She never noticed their unshed tears.
"You should use them all, Mom," Bella said, trying hard to get back into conversation, starting to remove her hand from Jacob's thigh. Before she even moved her hand an inch, warm fingers gripped them tightly, holding them.
"It's a really nice idea, Renée. It does get rather chilly 의해 the beach."
6. Meeting Molly, 2015
"You know, it's really kinda strange that the last time I saw your sister I was like ten years old and now she has a baby and I'm living together with her little brother whom I used to make mud pies with," Bella said, her fingers intertwined with Jacob's as they approached his childhood house.
"It feels as if we have a past together, yet, I can barely remember her. It's so.. awkward."
"You'll like her, don't worry," Jacob reassured Bella, 키싱 the side of her head, knocking on the door.
"That's not the point, I'm sure she's great. It's just… strange, that's all," Bella tried to explain, when the door opened and Billy beamed at them.
"Perfect timing, she just woke up."
Bella's stomach cramped again, like it had done all morning. Fear. When Jacob had told her his sister Rebecca was having a baby, she had once again seen that longing in his eyes. Ever since her confession in Jacksonville two years ago, he had not brought the topic up again. But meeting Rebecca and her newborn daughter for the first time was gravely testing their boundaries.
"Great," Jacob said, smiling brightly, pulling Bella into the hallway enthusiastically. He dropped her hand, winked at her and disappeared into the living room. She heard faint voices, but the noise of a bypassing car drowned out the sounds and suddenly she was grateful for the open front door.
Slowly, to kill time, she opened her 코트 and dropped it onto the dresser. When she turned around, she was surprised to see Billy eye her with concern 다음 to the still open door.
"Is everything okay with 당신 two?" he asked, pointing his chin towards the living room shortly to emphasise who he was talking about.
"Sure," Bella answered a little too quickly, not feeling like she needed to discuss the 코끼리 in her relationship with maybe-never father-in-law.
Billy was a lot like Jacob in this certain aspect, he knew when not to 질문 any further. Instead, he closed the door and wheeled himself into the living room, Bella carefully setting one foot in front of the other, until she stood in the familiar, tiny room.
Jacob was standing 의해 the window, his sister Rebecca, who truly looked just like Rachel – except somehow softer - was sitting on the 침상, 소파 in front of him, holding a tiny bundle in her arms. She raised her head as Billy and Bella entered the room and smiled, immediately melting away a little of Bella's discomfort.
"Bella," she said warmly, lifting herself from the 침상, 소파 carefully. She glanced down at the awake but quiet newborn in her arms, raven black hair peeking out, just like two chubby hands reaching out for Rebecca's long dark hair.
"Here, baby brother. Prove yourself useful," Rebecca said, turning around and carefully pushing the baby into Jacob's surprised arms.
"Wai- what, Rebecca, I don't really think, hey, wait a sec-"
Despite his loud protests, Jacob instinctively cradled his niece against his chest, the hand that supported her head about the size of the baby itself.
Something died inside of Bella as she looked at the peaceful expression of utter happiness on Jacob's face, the shine in his eyes as his niece reached out her arms to 펀치 against his chest, a little whimpering sound that sounded like an abstract laugh echoing in the room.
Was it really this… simple to make Jacob happy? Was this all she had to do? Was it really only the fact that she had been denying him this so far that caused the bitterness Bella had only ever seen in his early wolf-days before?
"Hey, you. I'm your uncle," Jacob cooed, raising his arms carefully to rub the tip of his nose against his niece's cheek, while she gripped a loose strand of his hair. The baby was so small in Jacob's arms, it seemed as if his body was swallowing the tiny bundle. Yet, in a strange way, he looked so caring, so protective.
"Something about big men and babies, right? Although I hate talking about my baby brother that way," Rebecca's voice suddenly ripped Bella out of her trance. She swallowed hard as she realized that Rebecca and Billy had both witnessed her staring at Jacob in complete awe.
"Yeah, kinda cute," she answered lamely, smiling at Rebecca, who stepped closer, welcomingly opening her arms.
As Bella returned the hug, she dared to cast a glance at Jacob, who looked at her with confusion and something that faintly reminded Bella of…anger.
...
"Bells, are 당신 alright? You've been in there almost an hour. You're not puking out Quil's 물고기 soup, are you? Because I told him it was brackish."
"I'm fine," Bella called back through the bathroom door without changing her position. She had been standing in front of the bathroom mirror for the last thirty minutes, staring at her flat stomach, imagining what it would feel like to carry a small life in there. Feel it kicking. Feel it grow.
"Okay, I'm tired. I'll go to bed," Jacob responded, not sounding too convinced.
"Sure."
Bella pressed her hand against her abdomen, remembering how peaceful and right it had looked to see Jacob hold his niece.
Luckily, half of the pack had arrived at the Black's house only moments after Bella had been able to have a little small talk with Rebecca, and so little Molly had travelled from one pair of strong arms to the 다음 – never reaching Bella's. She did not know if she would have been able to keep a straight face.
Bella had not seen Jacob so happy in a very long time. This 구름, 클라우드 that had darkened their sky had become too filled with rain, too heavy over the last years and Bella felt that the breaking point was approaching rapidly. She needed to make a choice.
As she stepped into the dim-lit bedroom, seeing Jacob lie on the 침대 wide awake, waiting for her, Bella suddenly understood that, deep down, she had made her choice a long time ago.
"What's going on in your head, Bells?" he asked, propping himself up into a sitting position, legs outstretched.
Bella could not speak, she knew that the only sound coming out of her mouth would be a choking, throaty noise. Instead, she grabbed the hem of her nightgown, pulling the silk over her head in one 빠른, 스위프트 motion, letting the fabric fall onto the floor.
Jacob stared at her in confusion, as she stepped out of her panties and slowly walked towards the bed. She stood there, near Jacob's feet, for a 분 in absolute silence, before climbing onto the bed.
She could see Jacob swallow, saw his Adam's 사과, 애플 bob as she straddled his thighs, finding leverage with her hands on his shoulders.
"Bells," Jacob began to whisper, but Bella silenced him with a brush of her lips against his, her hands trailing down his chest and stomach, gripping the hem of his boxers. She could feel him twitch beneath her touch as she slowly pulled his 복서, 복 서 shorts down his legs, climbing off him to pull them over his feet and throw them onto the floor. With a rapidly beating heart, Bella climbed back into Jacob's lap, 키싱 his nose, his temples, his cheeks, his neck, before finally finding his lips and losing herself in a deep kiss.
Bella could feel Jacob's own heartbeat pounding against her breasts, and suddenly, this felt just like their first time all over again. Nervousness, excitement, fear. Love.
Feeling the palms of her hands get sweaty, Bella knew that, if they were going to really do this, she could not allow Jacob to start a discussion. That would wreck her already shattering nerves.
Still, apart from all the fear, Bella knew that her decision had been right as she grabbed Jacob's erection, distracting him with gentle bites along his neck, before sinking down onto him in one 빠른, 스위프트 movement.
Jacob's hand shot up to her hips, holding her in place, as he muffled his deep groan against her neck. Bella whimpered against him, her head resting against his chest, eyes closed, fingers gripping his shoulders tightly.
"God, Bells," Jacob whispered, his breathing unsteady against her neck, his hands shaking with effort. He slowly trailed one of his hands up her spine, threaded his fingers through her long hair, before gently turning her head so he could look Bella in the eyes.
"Are 당신 sure about this, Bells? I don't want 당신 to think 당신 have to do this for-"
"I don't want a baby Jake," Bella interrupted him quietly, brushing her palm from Jacob's shoulder to his heart, feeling it drum violently against his chest, before grasping his hand that was still holding on to her hip, moving it towards her abdomen.
"But I want your baby."
A tears escaped Jacob's eye, and he gently brushed his fingertips along Bella's lower stomach.
"I 사랑 당신 so much," he whispered, lowering his head to brush his lips against Bella's, almost choking her I 사랑 you, before their lips met.
link
WARNING !!!!
EXTREME SEX SCENE DESCRIPTION!
1. On the beach, baking mud pies, 1995
"And then we would get married here on the 바닷가, 비치 and 당신 would wear one of those puffy whites dresses and we would buy a house right 의해 my parents' and we would have a dog and then we would have 아기 an-" 5-year-old Jacob black was interrupted in his – in retrospect rather decent prognosis – 의해 a handful of mud landing on his thigh.
He wrinkled his nose in disgust, which – considering the mass of smeary mud that already covered his fingers – seemed a bit theatrical, looking at the 출처 of his interruption with an expression of naïve incomprehension .
Bella 백조 sat there, hands pressed into her hip, looking as much as a fury as a seven-year-old could possibly do.
"What? We could get a cat if 당신 don't like dogs," he tried to soothe her temper – without any success.
"Do 당신 even know where 아기 come from, Jacob?" Bella asked, flames dancing behind her eyes, which reminded Jacob of those 초콜릿 things his mother refused to let him eat.
Bella could not help but feel her chest warm up a little as she saw the faintest hint of a blush creep onto the russet cheeks of Jacob Black. He was just too cute, and although Bella was still mad that she could not play inside with the twins and instead had to get her hands dirty on the cold 바닷가, 비치 with their little, annoying brother, she hesitantly decided that spending time with Jacob Black was not too bad, after all.
If he would just stop talking.
2. At a bonfire on First Beach, 2007
The flames of the bonfire danced through the dark night, casting faint warmth into the 원, 동그라미 of people gathered around it. Bella, however, cuddled 더 많이 into a decent 출처 of heat, sliding her icy hands against Jacob's bare stomach to warm them up, her head resting comfortably against his shoulder.
"We can leave if you're tired, Bells," he whispered against her dark hair, barely hiding the smug grin on his face when he felt her shivering response.
"I'm fine," she whispered back, nestling 더 많이 into his warmth. There were 더 많이 things she wanted to say – how she could never get away from the warmth of his touch, how peaceful she felt in his arms, how 안전한, 안전 he made her feel – but all that had to wait, for she knew that half of the people around them would be able to hear her every word, no matter how quietly she whispered. And those words were meant for Jacob only.
A sudden screechy outburst of giggles pulled Bella out of her warm cocoon, and she lifted her head, seeing stars first until her eyes got used to the dim light which the 불, 화재 provided on the otherwise pitch-black beach.
Quil was running around the fire, Claire thrown over his shoulders, tickling her sides. Bella grinned at the awkwardly 심장 warming picture, giggling quietly.
She looked around the odd 원, 동그라미 gathered around the bonfire, smiling inwardly, knowing this unconventional group of people had become her family over the last year.
She saw Embry roll his eyes at his best friend's behaviour, and in the 다음 second, she felt Jacob nod in Embry's direction.
"Don't be so mean to him," she whispered against Jacob's skin, admiring that she was not the only one who had to shiver.
Quil made a run for the water with a squeaking Claire on his shoulder, when Jacob took Bella's hand.
"He can take it," he whispered, " It's just so weird. He's playing Hide & Seek with her these days, and will play it with their kids at some point in the future. That's just…odd."
"It's not odd for him, and he's your best friend. Sometimes, I think you're just jealous because 당신 can't call me your 늑대 soul mate," Bella said, laughing. Still, the joke did not pass her lips easily. The imprinting issue was a constant 구름, 클라우드 lingering above them like a phantom menace. It could happen every 초 of every 일 – 또는 never at all.
Jacob could feel her tense in his arms, she was sure of that. But he knew better than to elaborate on the topic. Instead, he just pulled her closer to him, 키싱 the 상단, 맨 위로 of her head gently.
"Anyway, at least I know that our children are going to look a lot better than theirs," he said smugly, earning a laugh from Embry.
"Which children?" Bella asked, keeping a joking edge to her voice that matched Jacob's, while fear started to boil inside of her.
"Come on, Bells. I have excellent genes, it would be a waste of genetic pool if we never had children. Just imagine what a loss for the world that would be."
"In your dreams," Bella snorted, poking Jacob's stomach with her index finger – unsure if he had even felt it – and snuggled closer, closing her eyes again.
She knew this sound of his voice. He was disguising an actual opinion as a mere joke.
Suddenly, Bella felt less and less peaceful in his arms.
3. Moving into their house in La Push, 2010
"I still don't get why we had to take this house, Jake. I mean, I get that 당신 want to be close to your Dad, but a 거리 더 많이 would have been just fine and this house is just… way too big for us. If 당신 don't plan to grow even more, Jake, this is a bit beyond justified budget," Bella babbled as she carried a rug under one arm and a suitcase under the other up the three steps onto the front porch and through the front door of their new, first home.
"It has a porch, honey," Jacob called from the kitchen, where he had placed the box with the dishes.
"Yeah, that's nice, Jake. But not really necessary," Bella responded, dropping the rug onto the hallway floor.
"Nice is necessary."
"In twenty years, Jake. Not now. And don't tell me 당신 insisted on this house just because it has a porch."
Jacob sighed and turned around, looking at Bella with a strangely 쓴, 쓰라린 expression on his face, which was so rarely seen on him these days.
"Come," he almost whispered, reaching out his hand. Bella placed the suitcase on the wooden floor and took it hesitantly.
He made slow, deliberate steps, walking down the hallway, all the while brushing his thumb against the back of Bella's hand in soothing circles.
Coming to a slow stop, Jacob opened the last door on the left, gently pulling Bella into the small room. The sun shining outside flooded the room with a warm light, basking the yellow-painted walls in a summer glow. The windows stood open, the whispers of the trees outside filling the room with a peaceful melody and the smell of forest and the distant salty ocean – a smell Bella used to purely associate with Jacob.
He closed the door behind them, while Bella's forehead wrinkled in confusion. Suddenly, she felt Jacob's warm arms envelop her midsection, pulling her flush against his burning chest, his chin resting on her shoulder, lips right 의해 her ear.
He forced her to look straight ahead into the room without any words, made her involuntarily stare outside of the window into the trees, made her soak in the warmth of the sunlight, the smell of nature, the comfortableness that seemed to rest within these walls.
"I thought we agreed that this is too small for our bedroom," Bella whispered hastily, needing to break the too-peaceful silence. It made her uncomfortable.
"It is. But it's perfect for something else," he whispered, the damp feeling of his breath against her ear causing the small hairs on the nape of Bella's neck to rise and send a rush of 거위, 거 위 bumps down her spine.
Before she could say anything, ask anything, pretend not to know what he was talking about, she felt Jacob's flat hands 옮기기 from her upper stomach to her abdomen, gently stroking the skin through the sweater she was wearing.
"Just think about it," Jacob said calmly, pressing a soft, feather light 키스 against her pulse point, before removing his arms oh so slowly and leaving a confused Bella standing in the room on her own.
4. On 크리스마스 Eve, 2012
"You know I really like your Dad, Bells. But he can be such a cockblocker sometimes. 당신 know, he could have left like three hours 이전 and I would have had 당신 for myself," Jacob mumbled into Bella's neck, while her hands clutched desperately at his broad shoulders.
"Mhmm," she murmured incoherently, scraping her fingernails over Jacob's neck, feeling the rumble in his chest against her touch. She moaned as he picked her up, wrapping her legs around his waist.
"Damn," Jake grunted against her neck, taking Bella's earlobe gently between his teeth as she started grinding against him. "I was turning crazy, Bells. I am going crazy here."
Bella only moaned, turning her head so she could 키스 him properly, urgently moving her lips against his, never ceasing the grinding of her hips.
Jacob's grip on her upper thighs increased and with a final grunt, he stumbled towards their bedroom, almost kicking over the 크리스마스 tree. Neither of them cared.
When Bella gracelessly landed on their bed, she wasted no time pulling her 블라우스 over her head, ignoring the sound of one 또는 two ripped-off buttons that landed somewhere between the pillows, while Jacob fumbled with his belt.
"I can't believe I had to wait six hours for this," Jacob said with his husky voice as he covered Bella's barely clothed body with his own, the only thing that still separated him from her being his boxers and her panties.
"Could 당신 stop talking about my father, Jake?" Bella whispered into Jacob's ear as she grabbed him through his boxers, earning a surprised groan from Jacob, who dropped his head into the crook of her neck. "Bells…"
Somehow, in the 라푼젤 mess of their limbs, Jacob's hand found Bella's bare breasts, cupping one of them in his big hand, brushing his thumb softly against her nipple, grinning as she arched her back in response, always wanting to get closer, before applying 더 많이 and 더 많이 pressure.
"Jake, please," Bella whined, trying to grind her burning centre against the bulge in Jacob's boxers, but her hand, which had slipped past the waistband the moment Jacob's fingers had come into contact with her sensitive nipple, was in the way.
"Please, what?" he asked, raising his head so he could look at Bella's flushed, desperate face.
"Six hours of your teasing is enough foreplay. Hurry up," she said with venom in her voice, gripping him just a little bit too hard. His face grimaced a little, before he removed his hand from her breast and kissed her quickly but urgently. Savouring the little whimper Bella made as he removed his lips from hers, he peppered 나비 kisses down her chest, avoiding her breasts on purpose, licking a trail towards her belly button before his fingers started to dance around the hem of her panties.
Bella raised her hips off the bed, her fingers clutching the comforter she was laying on. "Come on…"
"Since when are 당신 so impatient, honey?" Jake asked a little proudly as he slipped his fingers underneath the lazy fabric and started to pull her panties down her legs, making sure to accidentally caress as much skin on the way as possible.
"Ever since 당신 decided to get into my panties beneath the 공식 만찬, 저녁 식사 table," Bella mumbled, squirming on the 침대 at Jacob's barely detectable touches.
Jacob laughed quietly at that, letting the memory of Bella's shocked and flushed face flash in front of his inner eye, before throwing her panties over his shoulder and 키싱 the side of Bella's knee.
"Jaake, please," Bella moaned, gripping his silky raven hair between her fingers, trying to pull him up.
Removing his boxers in a haste, Jacob crawled up the bed, 키싱 each of Bella's hipbones quickly, loving the feeling of her squirming beneath him.
Bella wrapped both of her hands around his neck, pulling him closer, 키싱 him deeply. She moaned into his mouth, trailing her hand down his chest, lingering above his 심장 a 초 longer than anywhere else, before wrapping her hand around him, lightly tracing her finger over the tip.
"Bells," Jacob grunted, and then something inside of him – probably six hours of unrelieved sexual tension – set loose and he pushed Bella's hand away in a rush, grabbing her hips and placing himself right at her entrance.
Bella struggled to free her lips from his, pushing her hands against his stomach. "Stop, wait!" she hissed, trying to 옮기기 her hips away, but only brushing along him in the process, causing both of them to shiver.
"You forgot something," she whispered out of breath, telling herself that there was no reason to freak out right away.
Jacob groaned, but not out of pleasure this time, and Bella could sense him tense above her.
"Bells, please. 당신 know how much I want to try without the fucking condom. I want to feel all of you," he begged quietly, lifting his head to look at her. There it was again. That look in his eyes that made Bella's 심장 shatter just a little bit at a time.
"Jake," she whispered, removing one hand from his stomach to cup his cheek, trailing her fingertip against his cheekbone, "You know I want to, as well. But 당신 know I can't take the pill and everything else is too risky for me."
He sighed, closing his eyes, before rolling off Bella, lying flat on his back.
"Would it really be such a disaster to get pregnant? I mean… I get that you're not too psyched about it and that's fine, everyone has their opinions. Really, I understand and I accept that. But 당신 act as if it was the worst thing that could ever happen to you. Like some catastrophe. And I don't get that, Bella."
Bella did not know what to answer and she felt vulnerable, laying there completely naked, without Jacob's warm body covering her own.
Suppressing the tears from spilling over, Bella sat up, sadly realizing how much she craved being close to Jacob. In order to somewhat help ease her self-consciousness, she wrapped her arms around her chest, staring out of the window – away from Jacob – into the dark, snow less night.
"Don't do that," Jacob's husky voice suddenly whispered right 다음 to her ear, warm hands softly grabbing her arms and pulling them away from her chest. Bella could no longer keep the tears at 만, 베이 and as they quietly trailed down her cheeks, she leaned back into Jacob's chest, gripping his arms which he had wrapped around her.
"I'm sorry," she whispered, apologizing for so much 더 많이 than the obvious. "For ruining the mood."
Jacob kissed her temple, catching a loose strand of hair and secured it softly behind her ear.
"Merry Christmas."
5. Visiting Renée in Jacksonville, 2013
"And look what I got here, Bella," Renée said brightly, practically dancing into the living room with a big carton box in her arms.
Bella and Jacob were sitting on the floor, while Phil was outside, busy with the barbecue. Renée sat down 다음 to them, smiling like she used to on 크리스마스 when Bella was still a child and about to unwrap her presents.
"What's that, Mom?" she asked nervously, knowing that this smile usually led to an unbearably embarrassing situation when other people were around. Nervously, Bella cast a gaze to Jacob, who looked politely interested.
Renée opened the box, pulling out a bright red t-shirt.
"No way, Mom. Did 당신 keep all of these?" Bella asked enthusiastically, her initial fear evaporated. She crawled the small distance to where the carton box was, immediately diving her hands inside, pulling at the first piece of fabric that got caught between her fingers.
"Every single one," her mother confirmed, smiling at her daughter's enthusiastic rummage through a special box of memories. "It's t-shirts from trip Bella and I used to make when she was a child," Renée explained to a confused Jacob, who was peeking around Bella's back to see what his girlfriend was doing.
"I can't believe 당신 kept all of them," Bella said, clutching a green 셔츠 to her chest. Jacob grinned, loving to see a smile like this on Bella's face.
"You know, sweetheart, I had an idea. That's why I wanted to show them to you. But, I didn't just want to go through with it in case 당신 want to keep a specific one. I know 당신 have your favourites," Renée explained excitedly, both her and Bella bursting out into giggles.
"You know, Jacob, this one time in Ohio when Bella was about eleven, she accidentally –"
"Mom!" Bella interrupted her mother, cheeks flushed. "I'll kill 당신 if 당신 tell him that."
"Why?" Jacob asked, grinning, leaning over towards Bella.
"Because it's the most embarrassing story in the world," Bella answered, 키싱 Jacob quickly, before turning back to her mother. "So, what plan did 당신 have?"
Renée grinned excitedly, grabbing two shirts and holding them up 다음 to each other. "I thought they might make a good patchwork quilt. 당신 know, to keep 당신 warm there 의해 the beach. And I thought, 당신 know, when 당신 two have kids someday, we can add to it. Maybe go to visit the world's largest ketchup bottle 또는 something."
Bella felt a choking feeling in the back of her throat, yet forced a smile onto her face at the enthusiastic expression on her mother's face. She did not dare looking at Jacob.
Unfortunately, a distant shit crossed Bella's plans of ignoring Jacob's face for the rest of their stay.
"I'll better go look," Renée said, untangling her legs from the floor and running outside, calling her husband's name in a mixture of annoyance and worry.
Silence.
Usually, Bella considered their ability to be quiet around each other as a valuable aspect of their relationship, but she hated this certain kind of silence. The type where too many words are spoken without a sound.
"It's a nice idea," Jacob finally said, his voice sounding as choked as Bella's throat felt. "Not that 당신 would actually need something to keep 당신 warm, but I think it's nice of her to-"
"Stop!" Bella interrupted Jacob harshly, but not loud enough for her mother 또는 Phil to hear her. "Please, just stop."
Finally gathering enough courage to 옮기기 her eyes, Bella carefully looked at Jacob. There it was again, that 쓴, 쓰라린 longing in his eyes.
Bella's 심장 broke a little. She was a bad, selfish person, indeed. Crushing his dreams one 의해 one.
"Jake," she murmured, scooting closer on to him, resting her small hand on his thigh in a comforting gesture, but also clinging to him, afraid that what she was about to say would drift them apart.
"Jake, I know that 당신 want children. I know 당신 have siblings and 당신 have so many brothers in the pack and you're just used to have a big family. And believe me, I know you'd be an amazing father. But… I'm not a mother, Jake. I'll never be. I don't see myself having kids. Ever. That's someone else's dream. And I know it's yours and I hate to say all this and to deny 당신 that and I understand and I tried to think about it but… no. Jake. I'm so sorry. I 사랑 당신 so much, and I know, although I'll never understand why, that 당신 사랑 me. But if 당신 want to have children… I can't give them to you."
Tears gathered in both of their eyes, brown and black glistering for different reasons. Broken dreams, broken promises, broken hearts.
Jacob never said anything to Bella's confession, for Renée came rushing back into the living room, talking about Phil's inability to set up a decent barbecue. She never noticed their unshed tears.
"You should use them all, Mom," Bella said, trying hard to get back into conversation, starting to remove her hand from Jacob's thigh. Before she even moved her hand an inch, warm fingers gripped them tightly, holding them.
"It's a really nice idea, Renée. It does get rather chilly 의해 the beach."
6. Meeting Molly, 2015
"You know, it's really kinda strange that the last time I saw your sister I was like ten years old and now she has a baby and I'm living together with her little brother whom I used to make mud pies with," Bella said, her fingers intertwined with Jacob's as they approached his childhood house.
"It feels as if we have a past together, yet, I can barely remember her. It's so.. awkward."
"You'll like her, don't worry," Jacob reassured Bella, 키싱 the side of her head, knocking on the door.
"That's not the point, I'm sure she's great. It's just… strange, that's all," Bella tried to explain, when the door opened and Billy beamed at them.
"Perfect timing, she just woke up."
Bella's stomach cramped again, like it had done all morning. Fear. When Jacob had told her his sister Rebecca was having a baby, she had once again seen that longing in his eyes. Ever since her confession in Jacksonville two years ago, he had not brought the topic up again. But meeting Rebecca and her newborn daughter for the first time was gravely testing their boundaries.
"Great," Jacob said, smiling brightly, pulling Bella into the hallway enthusiastically. He dropped her hand, winked at her and disappeared into the living room. She heard faint voices, but the noise of a bypassing car drowned out the sounds and suddenly she was grateful for the open front door.
Slowly, to kill time, she opened her 코트 and dropped it onto the dresser. When she turned around, she was surprised to see Billy eye her with concern 다음 to the still open door.
"Is everything okay with 당신 two?" he asked, pointing his chin towards the living room shortly to emphasise who he was talking about.
"Sure," Bella answered a little too quickly, not feeling like she needed to discuss the 코끼리 in her relationship with maybe-never father-in-law.
Billy was a lot like Jacob in this certain aspect, he knew when not to 질문 any further. Instead, he closed the door and wheeled himself into the living room, Bella carefully setting one foot in front of the other, until she stood in the familiar, tiny room.
Jacob was standing 의해 the window, his sister Rebecca, who truly looked just like Rachel – except somehow softer - was sitting on the 침상, 소파 in front of him, holding a tiny bundle in her arms. She raised her head as Billy and Bella entered the room and smiled, immediately melting away a little of Bella's discomfort.
"Bella," she said warmly, lifting herself from the 침상, 소파 carefully. She glanced down at the awake but quiet newborn in her arms, raven black hair peeking out, just like two chubby hands reaching out for Rebecca's long dark hair.
"Here, baby brother. Prove yourself useful," Rebecca said, turning around and carefully pushing the baby into Jacob's surprised arms.
"Wai- what, Rebecca, I don't really think, hey, wait a sec-"
Despite his loud protests, Jacob instinctively cradled his niece against his chest, the hand that supported her head about the size of the baby itself.
Something died inside of Bella as she looked at the peaceful expression of utter happiness on Jacob's face, the shine in his eyes as his niece reached out her arms to 펀치 against his chest, a little whimpering sound that sounded like an abstract laugh echoing in the room.
Was it really this… simple to make Jacob happy? Was this all she had to do? Was it really only the fact that she had been denying him this so far that caused the bitterness Bella had only ever seen in his early wolf-days before?
"Hey, you. I'm your uncle," Jacob cooed, raising his arms carefully to rub the tip of his nose against his niece's cheek, while she gripped a loose strand of his hair. The baby was so small in Jacob's arms, it seemed as if his body was swallowing the tiny bundle. Yet, in a strange way, he looked so caring, so protective.
"Something about big men and babies, right? Although I hate talking about my baby brother that way," Rebecca's voice suddenly ripped Bella out of her trance. She swallowed hard as she realized that Rebecca and Billy had both witnessed her staring at Jacob in complete awe.
"Yeah, kinda cute," she answered lamely, smiling at Rebecca, who stepped closer, welcomingly opening her arms.
As Bella returned the hug, she dared to cast a glance at Jacob, who looked at her with confusion and something that faintly reminded Bella of…anger.
...
"Bells, are 당신 alright? You've been in there almost an hour. You're not puking out Quil's 물고기 soup, are you? Because I told him it was brackish."
"I'm fine," Bella called back through the bathroom door without changing her position. She had been standing in front of the bathroom mirror for the last thirty minutes, staring at her flat stomach, imagining what it would feel like to carry a small life in there. Feel it kicking. Feel it grow.
"Okay, I'm tired. I'll go to bed," Jacob responded, not sounding too convinced.
"Sure."
Bella pressed her hand against her abdomen, remembering how peaceful and right it had looked to see Jacob hold his niece.
Luckily, half of the pack had arrived at the Black's house only moments after Bella had been able to have a little small talk with Rebecca, and so little Molly had travelled from one pair of strong arms to the 다음 – never reaching Bella's. She did not know if she would have been able to keep a straight face.
Bella had not seen Jacob so happy in a very long time. This 구름, 클라우드 that had darkened their sky had become too filled with rain, too heavy over the last years and Bella felt that the breaking point was approaching rapidly. She needed to make a choice.
As she stepped into the dim-lit bedroom, seeing Jacob lie on the 침대 wide awake, waiting for her, Bella suddenly understood that, deep down, she had made her choice a long time ago.
"What's going on in your head, Bells?" he asked, propping himself up into a sitting position, legs outstretched.
Bella could not speak, she knew that the only sound coming out of her mouth would be a choking, throaty noise. Instead, she grabbed the hem of her nightgown, pulling the silk over her head in one 빠른, 스위프트 motion, letting the fabric fall onto the floor.
Jacob stared at her in confusion, as she stepped out of her panties and slowly walked towards the bed. She stood there, near Jacob's feet, for a 분 in absolute silence, before climbing onto the bed.
She could see Jacob swallow, saw his Adam's 사과, 애플 bob as she straddled his thighs, finding leverage with her hands on his shoulders.
"Bells," Jacob began to whisper, but Bella silenced him with a brush of her lips against his, her hands trailing down his chest and stomach, gripping the hem of his boxers. She could feel him twitch beneath her touch as she slowly pulled his 복서, 복 서 shorts down his legs, climbing off him to pull them over his feet and throw them onto the floor. With a rapidly beating heart, Bella climbed back into Jacob's lap, 키싱 his nose, his temples, his cheeks, his neck, before finally finding his lips and losing herself in a deep kiss.
Bella could feel Jacob's own heartbeat pounding against her breasts, and suddenly, this felt just like their first time all over again. Nervousness, excitement, fear. Love.
Feeling the palms of her hands get sweaty, Bella knew that, if they were going to really do this, she could not allow Jacob to start a discussion. That would wreck her already shattering nerves.
Still, apart from all the fear, Bella knew that her decision had been right as she grabbed Jacob's erection, distracting him with gentle bites along his neck, before sinking down onto him in one 빠른, 스위프트 movement.
Jacob's hand shot up to her hips, holding her in place, as he muffled his deep groan against her neck. Bella whimpered against him, her head resting against his chest, eyes closed, fingers gripping his shoulders tightly.
"God, Bells," Jacob whispered, his breathing unsteady against her neck, his hands shaking with effort. He slowly trailed one of his hands up her spine, threaded his fingers through her long hair, before gently turning her head so he could look Bella in the eyes.
"Are 당신 sure about this, Bells? I don't want 당신 to think 당신 have to do this for-"
"I don't want a baby Jake," Bella interrupted him quietly, brushing her palm from Jacob's shoulder to his heart, feeling it drum violently against his chest, before grasping his hand that was still holding on to her hip, moving it towards her abdomen.
"But I want your baby."
A tears escaped Jacob's eye, and he gently brushed his fingertips along Bella's lower stomach.
"I 사랑 당신 so much," he whispered, lowering his head to brush his lips against Bella's, almost choking her I 사랑 you, before their lips met.
Jacob Black
