1. Offer her flies. Tell her they're good with ketchup.
2. Ask her if she's related to Trevor.
3. Follow close behind her all day, making clip-clopping noises with your tongue.
4. Ask her if she's met the handsome new divination teacher.
5. Tell her that Cornelius 퍼지 only hired her to scare small children.
6. Dye all her clothes black. . . .
7. . . . When she acts horrified, say 당신 were only trying to help her, and that "black is the new pink."
8. Send her 사랑 notes, signing them as if they were from Cornelius Fudge.
9. Perpetually use the word "umbrage."
10. Remind her constantly that her "Selwyn...
continue reading...