95 Reasons Why Twilight Sucks
Opinion 의해 BedIntruder 게시됨 4 hours 이전
1. Bella is a perfect character (“Mary Sue”), which Meyer hides 의해 calling her clumsy.
2. Being clumsy is not a flaw if Edward always catches her.
3. She can’t do anything without Edward.
4. And when he leaves she attempts to commit suicide.
5. Meyer is living out her own fantasies 의해 글쓰기 about Bella, who is clearly herself.
6. The 책 aren’t well written, just because every other word is a fancy adjective doesn’t make it good writing.
7. All the rules Meyer sets for being a vampire are broken 의해 the end of the series.
8. Not only that, she breaks rules set 의해 더 많이 esteemed authors.
9. The world population will come to an end because all girls who read this book will think they are Bella and will wait for their Edward to come until they are old. And he’ll never come.
10. Bella almost dies fifty thousand times, but Edward always saves her. This is boring.
11. Edward is too perfect and has no flaws either. Even 뱀파이어 should have flaws besides wanting to suck human blood because it’s natural to them.
12. The reason the 책 became so 인기 is because Bella has no personality and any loser can put themselves in her shoes.
13. If Bella is so ‘plain’, why do so many guys fall for her within the first two chapters?
14. Bella teaches women to let the man handle everything, which pretty much is a huge step backward for women everywhere, who have fought for equality.
15. Isn’t it convenient that her father always leaves her alone and doesn’t 질문 her? Real parents aren’t that way.
16. Lack of character development.
17. Bella is a useless, whining, doll that suddenly has become the idol for girls everywhere.
18. People say that Twilight is better than Harry Potter. Guess what? WRONG.
19. Edward is extremely possessive, border-line abusive, and boring as anything.
20. It’s too cliché.
21. This book contains no real sex, so it’s not really a vampire novel.
22. Read Anne 쌀 - those are vampires, not the girly men that Meyer has created.
23. 당신 don’t have to describe the character every two pages, we know all about Edward’s ‘perfectly toned chest’ the fourth time she mentions it.
24. Bella reflects upon herself through the entire novel to tell important plot developments. 저기요 Meyer, ever heard of “Show, don’t tell”?
25. She never uses the word fangs in the entire book series, and it’s supposedly about vampire.
26. Her 뱀파이어 sparkle. Enough said.
27. Supposedly Meyer never uses the word ‘said’ in the entire first book, instead using breath.
28. There is too much face touching.
29. It’s predictable, and childish.
30. We read the entire series just to laugh at the stupidity of it.
31. Meyer can’t think of original names. The only original name she used was Rennesme, which is combination of two names and doesn’t count.
32. 뱀파이어 can’t get people pregnant. SPOILER!
33. Vampire baseball was just a disgrace.
34. People think Meyer is the best writer ever.
35. The plot drags on forever, when it really could have been completed in two books.
36. Wow, yet another ‘original’ plot of forbidden love.
37. Why is it called the Twilight Series if only one book is titled Twilight?
38. It’s too easy to mock. Go on Youtube, how many mocks on Twilight do 당신 see?
39. They use a drug reference in a book written for ten-year-olds.
40. Stephanie Meyer creates some interesting characters ie: Jasper and Alice. She then ignores them, and gives them no development.
41. Every Other Facebookbumper sticker is about Twilight/Edward. EVERY OTHER ONE.
42. Fangirls are so blinded 의해 their 사랑 for Edward that they don’t realize the book is terrible.
43. Stephen King agrees that Stephanie Meyer can’t write ‘worth a darn’.
44. It’s stupid.
45. Bella.
46. Bella is Edward’s beard.
47. Meyer wrote four 책 about nothing, really.
48. Straight men sparkle?
49. It’s teeming with grammatical errors.
50. Bella 백조 means beautiful swan, which is horribly cheesy.
51. Edward Cullen is sparkly; crows like sparkly things.
52. Do any guys actually like Twilight?
53. If the first 200 pages of your book rely on the mystery of a character’s identity, don’t slap “First, Edward was a vampire” on the back cover.
54. There’s far too little actual conflict in the story. But this probably stems from having a flawless main character.
55. They fall in 사랑 way too quickly and it seems fake because no one falls in 사랑 instantly, especially teenagers.
56. They only 사랑 each other because she smells good and he’s hot. There’s no other given reason why.
57. It’s just not healthy to teach young girls that True 사랑 involves the guy watching 당신 while 당신 sleep.
58. Edward is HOT. We get it.
59. She had only been in Forks for a 월 when Edward had been watching her sleep for two months.
60. There’s something disturbing about Carlisle turning only teenagers into vampires.
61. All Twilight 팬 are insane, proved 의해 several responses to criticism such as… “What is your name, address and phone number, just so that i can track 당신 down ank kill 당신 with my super awesom vampire powers THAT I AQUIRED FROM 읽기 THE SERIES!!!!!!!!!!”
62. And this… “do 당신 WANT a cult of angry twilight luvers like mysef at your doorstep at night trying to behead you????? 당신 shouldnt voice an absurd oppinion like this on the internet.”
63. And this… “you must have not read much good litterature in youre life, because if 당신 cannot appreciate the quality of this art…..YOU ARE MENTALLY UNSOUND!!!!!!!”
64. Isn’t funny how Twilight 팬 can’t spell and use proper capitalization? 의해 the way,61, 62, and 63 are real quotes.
65. The reason Edward can’t read Bella’s mind is because she doesn’t have one.
66. T. Pain would totally win Bella’s 심장 and beat up Edward because he’s on a boat.
67. Edward hits on the school faculty to get out of classes.
68. We applaud Stephanie Meyer, as she’s got to be a rich woman 의해 now, having found her forte in the insane cult of teenage girls who go rabid over her writings.
69. 뱀파이어 vs. 늑대인간 (isn’t that a 페이스북 application and such a original idea?)
70. There’s nothing worse than a 팬 girl going insane over a fictional guy. It’s rather pathetic actually, so, um, yeah, get a life and keep 읽기 those books, chickies.
71. This book was not worth the paper on which it was printed.
72. Bella has no goals and no future, her life revolves around Edward.
73. WWJTFD: What Would a Judgmental Twilight 팬 Do? Answer: attempt to attack with the ‘cool vampire powers’ they gained from 읽기 the series. Awesome!
74. Even if 당신 like the book, it doesn’t live up to its hype.
75. Edward is a good VILF, that’s it.
76. “And I cried numerous times upon realising there would never be an Edward in this world.” – quoted from Almuvira Anona on Yahoo Answers.
77. A hundred years difference = pedophile.
78. It’s a co-dependent relationship stripped down to the bare essentials. Girl: “I can’t live without you. I want to change myself to be with you.” Boy: “If 당신 leave me, I will kill myself.”
79. Stephanie Meyer must really be into pedophilia: first Edward and Bella, now Jacob and Renesseme? SPOILER.
80. New hot couple name for Bella and Edward = Bedward
81. 당신 may think Edward Cullen is smart and fast, but Chuck Norris could take him.
82. Bella’s only deep thoughts are, ‘Edward is so perfect. I 사랑 him.’
83. The only reason I kept 읽기 was to see if Bella could redeem herself 의해 getting over him.
84. Jacob, who didn’t abuse Bella and was nice to her, was dumped and she chose Edward. Hmm, masochistic much?
85. Ms. Meyer writes the way I did when I was twelve years old, doodling in my journal.
86. “It would have been much better if Jacob and Edward discovered they were gay: no sequels, no whiny Bella. Amen to that.”
87. Many people have enjoyed the making of this, many have helped with it too…in other words lots of people hate Twilight.
88. 당신 are allowed to have your own opinion, just like we are allowed to have ours. Get over it. Twilight 팬 don’t seem to understand that though and attack at the mention of flaw in the book.
89. Light Yagami doesn’t approve of Twilight so neither should you.
90. “Cause it’s dumb.” – 랜덤 Person on the Street
91. “It’s annoying as hell.” – 랜덤 Person on the 거리 #2
92. Martin Luther would not have not have approved if the book was written during his lifetime.
93. Harry Potter could beat Edward any 일 with his magic powers.
94. It’s offensive to the entire human race, both male and female.
95. The Power Rangers could beat The Cullens. THE FREAKING POWERRANGERS
Opinion 의해 BedIntruder 게시됨 4 hours 이전
1. Bella is a perfect character (“Mary Sue”), which Meyer hides 의해 calling her clumsy.
2. Being clumsy is not a flaw if Edward always catches her.
3. She can’t do anything without Edward.
4. And when he leaves she attempts to commit suicide.
5. Meyer is living out her own fantasies 의해 글쓰기 about Bella, who is clearly herself.
6. The 책 aren’t well written, just because every other word is a fancy adjective doesn’t make it good writing.
7. All the rules Meyer sets for being a vampire are broken 의해 the end of the series.
8. Not only that, she breaks rules set 의해 더 많이 esteemed authors.
9. The world population will come to an end because all girls who read this book will think they are Bella and will wait for their Edward to come until they are old. And he’ll never come.
10. Bella almost dies fifty thousand times, but Edward always saves her. This is boring.
11. Edward is too perfect and has no flaws either. Even 뱀파이어 should have flaws besides wanting to suck human blood because it’s natural to them.
12. The reason the 책 became so 인기 is because Bella has no personality and any loser can put themselves in her shoes.
13. If Bella is so ‘plain’, why do so many guys fall for her within the first two chapters?
14. Bella teaches women to let the man handle everything, which pretty much is a huge step backward for women everywhere, who have fought for equality.
15. Isn’t it convenient that her father always leaves her alone and doesn’t 질문 her? Real parents aren’t that way.
16. Lack of character development.
17. Bella is a useless, whining, doll that suddenly has become the idol for girls everywhere.
18. People say that Twilight is better than Harry Potter. Guess what? WRONG.
19. Edward is extremely possessive, border-line abusive, and boring as anything.
20. It’s too cliché.
21. This book contains no real sex, so it’s not really a vampire novel.
22. Read Anne 쌀 - those are vampires, not the girly men that Meyer has created.
23. 당신 don’t have to describe the character every two pages, we know all about Edward’s ‘perfectly toned chest’ the fourth time she mentions it.
24. Bella reflects upon herself through the entire novel to tell important plot developments. 저기요 Meyer, ever heard of “Show, don’t tell”?
25. She never uses the word fangs in the entire book series, and it’s supposedly about vampire.
26. Her 뱀파이어 sparkle. Enough said.
27. Supposedly Meyer never uses the word ‘said’ in the entire first book, instead using breath.
28. There is too much face touching.
29. It’s predictable, and childish.
30. We read the entire series just to laugh at the stupidity of it.
31. Meyer can’t think of original names. The only original name she used was Rennesme, which is combination of two names and doesn’t count.
32. 뱀파이어 can’t get people pregnant. SPOILER!
33. Vampire baseball was just a disgrace.
34. People think Meyer is the best writer ever.
35. The plot drags on forever, when it really could have been completed in two books.
36. Wow, yet another ‘original’ plot of forbidden love.
37. Why is it called the Twilight Series if only one book is titled Twilight?
38. It’s too easy to mock. Go on Youtube, how many mocks on Twilight do 당신 see?
39. They use a drug reference in a book written for ten-year-olds.
40. Stephanie Meyer creates some interesting characters ie: Jasper and Alice. She then ignores them, and gives them no development.
41. Every Other Facebookbumper sticker is about Twilight/Edward. EVERY OTHER ONE.
42. Fangirls are so blinded 의해 their 사랑 for Edward that they don’t realize the book is terrible.
43. Stephen King agrees that Stephanie Meyer can’t write ‘worth a darn’.
44. It’s stupid.
45. Bella.
46. Bella is Edward’s beard.
47. Meyer wrote four 책 about nothing, really.
48. Straight men sparkle?
49. It’s teeming with grammatical errors.
50. Bella 백조 means beautiful swan, which is horribly cheesy.
51. Edward Cullen is sparkly; crows like sparkly things.
52. Do any guys actually like Twilight?
53. If the first 200 pages of your book rely on the mystery of a character’s identity, don’t slap “First, Edward was a vampire” on the back cover.
54. There’s far too little actual conflict in the story. But this probably stems from having a flawless main character.
55. They fall in 사랑 way too quickly and it seems fake because no one falls in 사랑 instantly, especially teenagers.
56. They only 사랑 each other because she smells good and he’s hot. There’s no other given reason why.
57. It’s just not healthy to teach young girls that True 사랑 involves the guy watching 당신 while 당신 sleep.
58. Edward is HOT. We get it.
59. She had only been in Forks for a 월 when Edward had been watching her sleep for two months.
60. There’s something disturbing about Carlisle turning only teenagers into vampires.
61. All Twilight 팬 are insane, proved 의해 several responses to criticism such as… “What is your name, address and phone number, just so that i can track 당신 down ank kill 당신 with my super awesom vampire powers THAT I AQUIRED FROM 읽기 THE SERIES!!!!!!!!!!”
62. And this… “do 당신 WANT a cult of angry twilight luvers like mysef at your doorstep at night trying to behead you????? 당신 shouldnt voice an absurd oppinion like this on the internet.”
63. And this… “you must have not read much good litterature in youre life, because if 당신 cannot appreciate the quality of this art…..YOU ARE MENTALLY UNSOUND!!!!!!!”
64. Isn’t funny how Twilight 팬 can’t spell and use proper capitalization? 의해 the way,61, 62, and 63 are real quotes.
65. The reason Edward can’t read Bella’s mind is because she doesn’t have one.
66. T. Pain would totally win Bella’s 심장 and beat up Edward because he’s on a boat.
67. Edward hits on the school faculty to get out of classes.
68. We applaud Stephanie Meyer, as she’s got to be a rich woman 의해 now, having found her forte in the insane cult of teenage girls who go rabid over her writings.
69. 뱀파이어 vs. 늑대인간 (isn’t that a 페이스북 application and such a original idea?)
70. There’s nothing worse than a 팬 girl going insane over a fictional guy. It’s rather pathetic actually, so, um, yeah, get a life and keep 읽기 those books, chickies.
71. This book was not worth the paper on which it was printed.
72. Bella has no goals and no future, her life revolves around Edward.
73. WWJTFD: What Would a Judgmental Twilight 팬 Do? Answer: attempt to attack with the ‘cool vampire powers’ they gained from 읽기 the series. Awesome!
74. Even if 당신 like the book, it doesn’t live up to its hype.
75. Edward is a good VILF, that’s it.
76. “And I cried numerous times upon realising there would never be an Edward in this world.” – quoted from Almuvira Anona on Yahoo Answers.
77. A hundred years difference = pedophile.
78. It’s a co-dependent relationship stripped down to the bare essentials. Girl: “I can’t live without you. I want to change myself to be with you.” Boy: “If 당신 leave me, I will kill myself.”
79. Stephanie Meyer must really be into pedophilia: first Edward and Bella, now Jacob and Renesseme? SPOILER.
80. New hot couple name for Bella and Edward = Bedward
81. 당신 may think Edward Cullen is smart and fast, but Chuck Norris could take him.
82. Bella’s only deep thoughts are, ‘Edward is so perfect. I 사랑 him.’
83. The only reason I kept 읽기 was to see if Bella could redeem herself 의해 getting over him.
84. Jacob, who didn’t abuse Bella and was nice to her, was dumped and she chose Edward. Hmm, masochistic much?
85. Ms. Meyer writes the way I did when I was twelve years old, doodling in my journal.
86. “It would have been much better if Jacob and Edward discovered they were gay: no sequels, no whiny Bella. Amen to that.”
87. Many people have enjoyed the making of this, many have helped with it too…in other words lots of people hate Twilight.
88. 당신 are allowed to have your own opinion, just like we are allowed to have ours. Get over it. Twilight 팬 don’t seem to understand that though and attack at the mention of flaw in the book.
89. Light Yagami doesn’t approve of Twilight so neither should you.
90. “Cause it’s dumb.” – 랜덤 Person on the Street
91. “It’s annoying as hell.” – 랜덤 Person on the 거리 #2
92. Martin Luther would not have not have approved if the book was written during his lifetime.
93. Harry Potter could beat Edward any 일 with his magic powers.
94. It’s offensive to the entire human race, both male and female.
95. The Power Rangers could beat The Cullens. THE FREAKING POWERRANGERS
(I didn't include plot, good characters, etc. because those are automatically included)
1. POTATO.
2. pirates
3. ninjas
4. An awesome pirate/ninja fight
5. Swords (preferably celestial bronze)
6. Closets (for Edward to hide deep inside)
7. giraffes
8. YOUR FACE
9. YOUR MOM
10. YOUR MOM'S FACE
11. Butterflies
12. Chuck Norris
13. Jet-packs
14. kittens
15. strip poker :D
16. hand lotion
17. Sue Sylvester
18. sherbet
19. 20 바순, 바 순 players :D
20. SNICKERS
21. Jedis
22. Druids :D
23. FREE ICE CREAM
24. A monkey called Jeeves who occasionally slaps Bella
25. YOU.
1. POTATO.
2. pirates
3. ninjas
4. An awesome pirate/ninja fight
5. Swords (preferably celestial bronze)
6. Closets (for Edward to hide deep inside)
7. giraffes
8. YOUR FACE
9. YOUR MOM
10. YOUR MOM'S FACE
11. Butterflies
12. Chuck Norris
13. Jet-packs
14. kittens
15. strip poker :D
16. hand lotion
17. Sue Sylvester
18. sherbet
19. 20 바순, 바 순 players :D
20. SNICKERS
21. Jedis
22. Druids :D
23. FREE ICE CREAM
24. A monkey called Jeeves who occasionally slaps Bella
25. YOU.
WTF?! Sparkly vampires?!
Is it just me, 또는 does it seem like most of the Twilight 팬 feel that they have to write in capitol letters to get their points across? Personally i find it really annoying.
It's also a fact that if 당신 write in capitol letters IT TAKES LONGER FOR THE BRAIN TO PROCESS THE INFORMATION and therefore takes longer to read. Originally all the road signs (In England anyway) were written in capitol letters, until they were redone and someone found that smaller case letters were quicker to read. So they changed it.
So 다음 time 당신 feel like shouting because your book sucks, don't write in capitols, but put...
*shouting*... at the begining of your speech.
Thank you. That is all.
It's also a fact that if 당신 write in capitol letters IT TAKES LONGER FOR THE BRAIN TO PROCESS THE INFORMATION and therefore takes longer to read. Originally all the road signs (In England anyway) were written in capitol letters, until they were redone and someone found that smaller case letters were quicker to read. So they changed it.
So 다음 time 당신 feel like shouting because your book sucks, don't write in capitols, but put...
*shouting*... at the begining of your speech.
Thank you. That is all.
Sorcerer's Stone
