It’s not the same- Oneshot

A/N: This takes place directly after Blair and Chuck receive the text messages from Gossip Girl stating that they slept with Jack and Vanessa in episode 2.25. This is for Anja and everyone over at Ed’s 포럼 for encouraging me to still write. *HUGS* Enjoy!

“You slept with Vanessa?”
“You slept with Jack?” Chuck looked at her with narrowed eyes and saw the guilty look that resided on her face and knew immediately that it was true. “Congratulations Blair. You’ve outdone yourself this time.”
People looked in every direction at the two people in the center of the room facing each other ready to battle off.
He was oblivious to everyone around him except Blair. It was like they were the only two people in the room. “How could you?” His face twitched and the extreme disappointment that he felt for her showed on every facet of his face.
“Let’s not do this here,” she muttered while trying to maintain her image in front of most of their senior class. “Come on.” Blair motioned towards an empty room.
“Do whatever the fuck 당신 want.” He stormed off towards the room that she had mentioned, but slammed the door in her face as soon as she was there.
She was aware of all the people that were muttering about her, but all she cared about right now was getting through to Chuck which she didn’t think would be all that easy. She reopened the door and shut it quietly only to find Chuck pacing around the room in a huff of barely restrained anger.
His head popped up as he saw her silhouette standing in the doorway. “Leave me alone,” his voice dripped venom and he wanted to hurt her, like she had just hurt him. She might as well have put a 칼, 나이프 through his 심장 rather than do this. “For once do the right thing and just have enough sense to leave me the hell alone.”
“Chuck,” she started to advance towards him and the glare of the light shined off the silver sparkles of her dress. She looked 더 많이 alluring and beautiful than ever, but he couldn’t afford to think like that. He had to hold onto his anger. “You’re not mad me at because of that, just like I’m not mad at 당신 because of Vanessa.”
He laughed. The bitterness crept into his voice. “You’re not actually comparing me sleeping with Vanessa to 당신 sleeping with my only living relative, are you?”
She nodded and shrugged her shoulders. “It’s the same exact thing.”
“You can’t be serious,” he looked into her eyes and saw the confusion there, “but 당신 are. I slept with a wannabe hobo barista who means nothing. She was just a fuck. 당신 know that. 당신 on the other hand slept with my uncle!” He flung his hand in front of her fact to prove his point. “Vanessa is something that I’ve regretted since it happened. It was just a detour, but 당신 knew how much sleeping with Jack would get to me.”
Tears began to 구름, 클라우드 Blair’s vision, but he felt no empathy for her. She had brought it all on herself. “It didn’t mean anything to me, Chuck. I was sad and I’m so sorry.”
“You were sad?!?! Is that your excuse? So every time you’re unhappy, I can expect this to happen?”
“Of course not.”
“When did it happen?” He growled all the while shooting daggers out of his eyes at Blair.
“That’s not important. What’s important is that I wish it never did, but I can’t change the past now.”
“When did it happen?” Chuck repeated, still waiting for an answer.
“Chuck…”
“When the hell did it happen?!” his voice had raised full potential and Blair knew that she would be better off if she answered him.
“While 당신 were in Bangkok.” She said in a small voice, still not quite ashamed of herself though because to her it was the same thing as Chuck’s sleeping with Vanessa.
He backed away from her as though she had just slapped him, and in a way she just had. “This just keeps getting better and better. Now you’re telling me that while I was off the 벽 with grief over losing my father that 당신 had the audacity to go and sleep with Jack? Just after 당신 had claimed that 당신 were in 사랑 with me and that 당신 would stand 의해 me through anything. Do 당신 know what a hypocrite 당신 are, Blair?”
“I’m sorry,” Blair repeated it over and over again, as though that would erase everything. She went to touch his face, but he hastily backed away from her.
“Don’t touch me.”
“We always do this, Chuck.” She dropped her hand, but appeared like she didn’t want too. “I won’t do this anymore. I’ll own up to my actions. I did sleep with Jack, but 당신 still slept with Vanessa too. Is that just all right in your mind and I’m blamed for everything?”
“You’re contradicting yourself 더 많이 and more, Blair. You’re the one who always blames me for everything. And forget about Jack for a second. How do 당신 explain Carter? Do 당신 have an excuse for doing that too?”
Blair’s swallowed hard and for a moment looked as though she wasn’t about to say anything, but she finally squeaked, “That was also a mistake, but in my defense I had just 로스트 Yale and 당신 weren’t even there for me!”
Chuck began to pace around the room and thought about all that they had been through and what had brought them to this point. Especially Blair. How could she with no regret, just go and sleep with Jack? He turned back around to face her and she appeared as a fallen 마돈나 and that he had been the one that was wrong. “Those are just pathetic excuses Blair and I won’t be buying into them anymore. I was dealing with my own crises, but 당신 still find managed time to fuck my uncle. How could 당신 do that?”
Blair didn’t hesitant this time, but grabbed onto his wrist. He shook her off immediately. Her bravado started to fade. “It was just a one-night stand, Chuck. It meant nothing 더 많이 to me than that.”
“You still don’t get it, Blair,” he circled around the room again as though he was out to collect prey. “A one-night stand may be sleeping with Baizen, but not my uncle. Jack can never be just a fuck. We’re related. What would happen if I did that to you? How would 당신 feel? If I slept with one of your 랜덤 relatives 또는 Serena, before we were related? Would 당신 forgive me?”
Her face turned grim suddenly and she stiffened, and he had his answer. “Exactly. 당신 would never forgive me. 당신 especially would be a 암캐, 암 캐 to me every time we were in contact and 당신 know that. Your words mean nothing to me anymore.”
Chuck’s mind swept him back to the 일 of his father’s funeral and he wished that it wouldn’t have, but now he couldn’t help remembering Blair’s words.

XOXO

“Chuck! Stop!” Her voice penetrated his senses and it made him turn around. He wouldn’t have done it for anyone else, but he could never turn Blair away completely from his life. Even through his grief, he knew in some reawakened part of his soul that he loved Blair Waldorf.
The grief was evident on every feature of his face. He knew that he looked dead. There was no light in his life anymore. Blair came running down the 거리 towards him and he tried to control his emotions, but he barely regained control of his perfectly controlled mask before she reached him.
Blair stopped right in front of him. “Don’t go. 또는 if 당신 have to leave, let me come with you.”
He grudgingly accepted that she was worried about him, but turned his back on her anyways. “I appreciate your concern,” he mumbled as he reached for the door of his limo.
Blair shook her head once, sending cascading 초콜릿 curls all over the place. 초콜릿 curls that he wanted to bury his face in and breathe them in until the pain subsided.
“No, 당신 don’t,” Blair said while giving him a knowing look. “You don’t appreciate anything today, but I don’t care. Whatever you’re going through, I want to be there for you.”
The pity came out in the waves off her expression and voice. It made him angrier than he thought possible. His eyes turned black with barely restrained rage, not just at her, but at everything. “How many times do we have to talk about this? 당신 are not my girlfriend!”
He could see the defeat sagging through her, but at the last possible 초 she regained herself. That was one thing he had always loved about Blair, she could get through anything. “But I am me. And you’re you.” She reached for his hand and wrapped her slim fingers around his wrist. “We’re Chuck and Blair. Blair and Chuck. The worst thing you’ve ever done, the darkest thought you’ve ever had, I will stand 의해 당신 through anything.”
“And why would 당신 do that?” He wanted to hear her say the words, and he saw her 제비, 삼키기 the lump past her throat and he knew that they were coming, but at this exact moment he almost didn’t want to hear them. It was ironic because this is what he had been pushing her for, but he couldn’t give her what she wanted now. She deserved better than a broken shell of a boy. He wasn’t a man.
Emotion worked her throat as she said very clearly while clutching his hand, “Because I 사랑 you.”
The grief that had been haunting his eyes disappeared if only for a second. Instead it was replaced 의해 a longing, a longing for normalcy and somewhat of a stable life. A longing for Blair and everything that they could have and he found himself leaning towards her and he wanted to say those three words to her, but he couldn’t. He wasn’t whole and he couldn’t give Blair a piece of himself when he had to fix everything. He had to be cruel and drive her further away. He snatched his hand away from hers and harshly said, “Well that’s too bad.” He wrenched open the door of his limo and bolted inside because he couldn’t stand to be 의해 the woman he loved one 더 많이 minute. Before the limo sped away from the curve, he saw a perfect tear sliding down her cheek.

XOXO
Remembering that 일 brought an uncharacteristic laugh out of him. It was such bullshit. She claimed to 사랑 him, but all she had done was betray him.
She wiped a tear from her face and asked, “What could 당신 be laughing about?”
“You,” he said with a trace of bitterness. “I was just remembering that 일 that 당신 told me that 당신 loved me and I was thinking about how it was a lie.”
Blair’s face fell. “What? I didn’t lie that day, Chuck. I was telling the truth.”
“I know that 당신 think 당신 were,” he admitted, “but that’s far from the truth. If 당신 사랑 me so much, could 당신 please explain to me how 당신 managed since that 일 a few mere months 이전 to sleep with my best friend again, one of my worst enemies, and my uncle?”
Blair took an extremely large gulp of air before probably committing what was her most horrible sin yet. “I have something to tell you, Chuck.”
“What now?”
“I just didn’t sleep with Jack once. It was a couple of times that night, but it meant nothing. I’m so sorry. I just figured that I would be honest with you.”
He took another step backwards and for a moment he felt like he might keel over, but he was determined to hurt her as much as she had just hurt him. His face twisted in a grimace of pain and without a syllable missing, he said, “I hate you.”

TBC

A/N: This is going to be a two parter. It also might not be ending so happily for Blair and Chuck. I think this would have been a better approach to go about this instead of just dismissing it, like it never happened on the actual show. A huge thank 당신 to Alicia who has read most of this already and told me that it was quite good. Thanks! Let me know what 당신 think of this.