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Crowning the 'Game of Thrones' MVP & More Season 5 Awards
[Note: This goes without saying but... SPOILERS abound from here on out.]
, we as an audience have entered into a silent contract with the show, in which we acknowledge a few key tenants of George R.R. Martin\'s (by way of David Benioff and D.B. Weiss) epic universe:
There are no heroes here, at least not any in the traditional sense
Life in Westeros is brutal and you will bear witness to that brutality
This much was made clear the moment everyone\'s favorite character and our POV into Westeros lost his head seven episodes in, and then underlined with an a dozen exclamation marks after the Red Wedding.
— good guys die, bad guys die, people get stabbed in the baby, wieners get chopped off, children get pushed from castle towers, infants become ice zombies. It\'s grim and unpredictable. And yet, it still feels like we weren\'t totally prepared for season 5 to double-down on
A lot happened in the show\'s fifth year, and though we\'re still reeling, it\'s time to wrap things up and process what went down in the Seven Kingdoms by handing out some awards.
Jon Snow! After four years of moping around Castle Black, struggling with his bastard lineage, Jon Snow turned into a freaking boss. Zombie Killer, Lord Commander, Man of Mercy, Revolutionary — Jon Snow became much more than an emo meme. He became a hero. Unfortunately, we know what happens to heroes on
And the most hate-able character of season five is...
This bastard, literally. After Joffrey died, there was no asshole power vacuum because Ramsay filled the void right away. Rape, torture, psychological abuse, flayed bodies — that\'s just a normal Saturday night for the biggest psychopath the North has ever seen.
The Fall from Grace Award (aka We Liked You Until We Didn\'t)
Like Ygritte and Jon, you\'re dead to us, Olly
If you burn your only daughter/heir to please a god made up by your mistress, you win this award. It\'s that simple. You really blew it on this one, Stannis.
And the Character who needed more screen time is...
Tie! Brienne and Jaime owned season 3 and understandably took some time to recover in season 4. But their lack of quality screen time in season 5 was more disappointing than a night at Craster\'s Keep. The Jaime/Bronn buddy road trip movie was way more underwhelming than expected, and Brienne spent most of the season staring at a tower instead of taking action like the badass we know she is.
Back from Valaryian vacation just in time
Jorah may be a little long in the tooth, but he\'s still a badass. The Stonemen were no match for him. (You\'re welcome, Tyrion.) The fighting pits were no match for him. (You\'re welcome, Mereen.) And the Sons of the Harpy were no match for him. (You\'re welcome, Dany.)
The "Hell Yes!" Fan-Service Moment of Season 5 Award
This could have gone to Dany the Dragon-rider had she not been so selfish about it — just up and left her squad like it was nothing. But we feel good about giving another award to our MVP, and it\'s really a tribute to the entire battle at Hardhome, which may go down as the coolest 23 minutes ever televised.
The "We Were Just Getting to Like You" Award
Touching moments with Uncle-Father ruined with kiss of death
Probably regrets the whole fighting pits thing
And the "We Hardly Knew Yee" honor goes to...
Karsi was the Oberyn of season 5, only she crammed all the charm and ass-kicking into nine minutes instead of nine episodes. It was fun to root for you, Karsi, even if it didn\'t last long.
You\'d think the pre-teen with greyscale who gets burned alive upon her father\'s orders would be a lock for this award, but that tells you how bad Sansa\'s had it. Her family\'s pretty much all dead, she has to trust the most untrustworthy guy in Westeros (Littlefinger), Cersei wants her dead, and she went from Joffrey to Ramsay. That\'s terrible run of luck. At least Shireen is out of her misery; Sansa\'s continues with her
-style exit from Winterfell with Theon.
The King We Deserve (But Won\'t Get) Award
Who needs fingers when you have a heart of gold
Wrong name, wrong size, right mind for the job
Of all the people with a realistic shot at the Iron Throne, Daenerys is the most likeable and the easiest to root for now that Jon\'s making blood flavored snow-cones at Castle Black. So we\'re pretty invested in where she\'s going, especially now that she\'s free from the confines of Mereen. What\'s her status with the Dothraki? Where will they take her? Can Jorah and Daario come to her rescue? Does she need rescuing? When is she going to take Drogon to the beach so he can fire-breathe on the sand and make enough dragon glass to end the zombie army? So many questions, and we have to wait a year to find out.
What do you think? Do you have different winnners/nominees? Or perhaps you own awards for Game of Thrones\' fifth season? Sound off in the comments, below.
I'm the Interactives Editor at Zimbio.com. I'm in an emotionally abusive relationship with my cat. Follow me: Google
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