me april,21

i cant take any more
of these drugs.
the poison,
attacking at my veins,
불, 화재 spreading through,
cant breathe.
but i need these,
and i must feel this
in order to get better.
no matter what it takes,
i have to get over you.
and even if this is
the most irrational way
to get over you,
i still intend on doing this.
i dont care how many needles
i must pierce through my arms,
how many seizures i must suffer through,
whatever it takes.
im going to do my best
to forget 당신 even exist.
i dont care how much cocaine i snuff,
how many pills i take,
how many cuts
slice through my skin,
또는 even if i end up
killing myself in the process.
i would be so lucky.
so,whatever it takes
to get over you
is the extreme
im going to have to
accomplish.
i dont care if i live,
i dont care if i die,
i dont care if all of this
is even real 또는 not.
im just going to do
whatever it takes
to get 당신 out of my mind.
even if i die...

Well.....I tried an overdose on aspirin's and pain killers (and other stuff that i just picked up and took but IDK what it is) but I just got VERY sick and had to get my stomach flushed(didn't like that at all)......I'm still alive and not dead-I'm still unsure if i want to go through suicide again.I am not dead...I hurt a lot but i'm not dead. um....that's almost all of what i wanted to say the other thing is-I am emo,i tried to commit suicide 6 times (counting this one)and I will not die until fate takes me.....................................................That's all. 사랑 ya Lizy. I sware I'll never do that again.I put 당신 through hell and i'm sorry.