I don't deny that most parents love their children. I'm just tired of the stereotype that a parent's love is unquestionable, pure, selfless etc. First of all, parental love, like any other tye of love, isn't selfless. Parents have expectations about their children, even before they are born. As for "all parents loving their children", look at how many people physically or sexually abuse their own kids or simply dismiss them.
Not nearly as overrated as romance. >.> If you ask me, the most underappreciated kind of love is the platonic/sibling/brotherly kind. True Love isn't limited to romance, people! You can love someone just as deeply in a platonic, sibling way too...whether you're blood-related, soul-related, or both. Just 'cause you're related doesn't automatically mean you have to hate each other's guts or have a "rivalry" thing going on. Srsly...
My mother is giving up one of her kidneys for me (my father would also do that, but he has the wrong bloodtype) and when I was in the hospital my father visited me every day. And in total I was there for seven months.
In my experience parental love always goes even further than the stereotype.
^ Always? I beg to differ. Your parents may be caring and loving, but there is a huge amount of people that aren't that lucky. As I've already mentioned, consider the numerous cases of child abuse.
Well, who says parental love literally has to come from a parent? Who says brotherly love literally has to be between brothers? And similarly, who says being related to someone automatically means you love them?
You don't have to be blood-related (or even adoption-related) to share bonds like that. At least, I don't believe so. So in that sense, I don't think cases of child-abuse apply. It's not about the DNA or legal relationship; it's about the people in it and the way they care for each other.
That might just be me though. I dunno. It's late. I'm probably not making any sense at all... xD
^ I see your point perfectly. But in this pick I'm talking about biological parents. About the whole stereotype "they gave you life so they must love you" which in many cases is completely false.
I don't see how the existence of abusive families makes parental love over-rated. If anything, I think the fact that there are so many abusive families makes parental love under-rated.
Parental (and, conversely, filial) love is as strong a bond as any love, and it's not restricted to blood relatives. The mentor/mentee relationship can be similar, as can the bond between adoptive parents and their children.
As for parental self-interest in their child's love, I never experienced any pressure to be someone I wasn't. This extended into every aspect of my life. I was raised without strong religion, but they humored my spiritual whims and took me to a variety of Christian services when I asked to go and accompanied me to Bar/Bat Mitzfas and Iftars. In college, I majored in drama and English, two areas of study that parents might frown upon due to the fact that careers in those fields are unstable. Afterwards, they helped me pay for graduate school for teaching, another pay-nothing career, and supported me all the way. My brother dropped out of college for a while, but when he went back, it was because he wanted to - not my parents.
They are the first people in the world that you meet - how can that not have a lasting effect on you? When that bond is damaged or severed (due to abuse or abduction), that just makes it all the more important to cherish, and all the more tragic when that love is lost.
Additionally, every relationship has the potential for abuse, including friendships. There's also spousal abuse and abuse of significant others. Basically, there will always be cases of abuse in any supposedly-loving relationship. That only makes real love all the more valuable when you see it.
I agree. It's overrated. Teach your children self reliance and self confidence. If that means he or she has to learn how to wash their clothes, make their bed, clean their room, sell newspapers or do anything that requires them to act for the betterment of themselves, then so be it; and the younger these children are taught to be self reliant, the better.
That's the best gift any parent can give to his/her child.
Teaching your child independence has nothing to do with parental love. Just because you love your child does not mean you coddle them. Those are two separate issues.
I beg to differ. Parental love and parental guidance can (and has been) confused with the other. Many parents have been taught to "coddle" their children as a show of love and support. Teaching them self-reliance (or in your words, independence) as young as 3 seems to have gone to the waist-side.
Oh, I see. In this case, I think this is a legitimate case of different definitions for the same term. I interpreted the question as asking "Is the BOND between parent and child overrated," whereas you interpreted the question as asking, "Is coddling your child as a show of affection overrated"
Would you say this is accurate?
If it is, I think we're talking about two completely different subjects.
However, parenting philosophies are diverse. The bond between parent and child can be just as strong when that parent gives that child chores and does not shelter the child or bail the child out of difficult situations as it is when a parent coddles the child. No one method of parenting shows more or less love than another, necessarily. They are just different parenting styles.
I don't think it's overrated, no. But it's important to remember that it's also not unchangeable. Not all parents love and show affection in the same ways. And, though we might not like it, there are legitimately bad parents out there, who for various reasons do not show their children love, or who express it erratically or dysfunctionally. Of course, there are also good parents, and middling parents.
Parental love isn't overrated, but there isn't only one definition for parental love, either.
in the sense that people think it's innate(like I assumed) but there are plenty of cold people out there who don't give a shit about their kids. Of course something is wrong upstairs with them.
Would one rather have an abusive parent who never loved them or a parent who loved them? That's pretty much the question being brought on. Pretty much.
There are some moments where I wish my parents would be honest with what I do in life. But instead they say, "I love what you do no matter what." Parents should be loving and. BUT they can be both, so that's why I chose "no." Parents love their children for a reason. They love what they've done with their child and how they turned out. That is not fake, and it's not overrated because, to my opinion, things that are real are not overrated. (I have more to say, but my train of thought has left for a while. *sighs* I'll get back to this later...)
No I don't,parents are supposed to love and care for their children,because it's much better than a parent not doing their job and saying they don't love their child and all those horrible things,sure there are "I "hate" you" moments,but many times they never mean (including me),because parents do what they do because they love their children and it can go a long way,in how the child turns out,especially in the run,but overprotecting is another story,but no,I don't think parental love is overrated,I think more underrated than overrated.
In my experience parental love always goes even further than the stereotype.
You don't have to be blood-related (or even adoption-related) to share bonds like that. At least, I don't believe so. So in that sense, I don't think cases of child-abuse apply. It's not about the DNA or legal relationship; it's about the people in it and the way they care for each other.
That might just be me though. I dunno. It's late. I'm probably not making any sense at all... xD
Parental (and, conversely, filial) love is as strong a bond as any love, and it's not restricted to blood relatives. The mentor/mentee relationship can be similar, as can the bond between adoptive parents and their children.
As for parental self-interest in their child's love, I never experienced any pressure to be someone I wasn't. This extended into every aspect of my life. I was raised without strong religion, but they humored my spiritual whims and took me to a variety of Christian services when I asked to go and accompanied me to Bar/Bat Mitzfas and Iftars. In college, I majored in drama and English, two areas of study that parents might frown upon due to the fact that careers in those fields are unstable. Afterwards, they helped me pay for graduate school for teaching, another pay-nothing career, and supported me all the way. My brother dropped out of college for a while, but when he went back, it was because he wanted to - not my parents.
They are the first people in the world that you meet - how can that not have a lasting effect on you? When that bond is damaged or severed (due to abuse or abduction), that just makes it all the more important to cherish, and all the more tragic when that love is lost.
Additionally, every relationship has the potential for abuse, including friendships. There's also spousal abuse and abuse of significant others. Basically, there will always be cases of abuse in any supposedly-loving relationship. That only makes real love all the more valuable when you see it.
Keywords: in my experience
That's the best gift any parent can give to his/her child.
Would you say this is accurate?
If it is, I think we're talking about two completely different subjects.
However, parenting philosophies are diverse. The bond between parent and child can be just as strong when that parent gives that child chores and does not shelter the child or bail the child out of difficult situations as it is when a parent coddles the child. No one method of parenting shows more or less love than another, necessarily. They are just different parenting styles.
Parental love isn't overrated, but there isn't only one definition for parental love, either.
There are some moments where I wish my parents would be honest with what I do in life. But instead they say, "I love what you do no matter what." Parents should be loving and. BUT they can be both, so that's why I chose "no." Parents love their children for a reason. They love what they've done with their child and how they turned out. That is not fake, and it's not overrated because, to my opinion, things that are real are not overrated. (I have more to say, but my train of thought has left for a while. *sighs* I'll get back to this later...)
코멘트를 추가하려면 로그인하거나 팬팝에 가입하세요