What Klaus said to Damon in the cell during those two scenes really played on my mind over and over. The first scene was the one about what Damon says to Elena that's made her fall for him and the 초 scene being the one where Klaus was shattering Damon's 심장 about his fears of losing Elena to Stefan again and him not being able to live up to Stefan. In both those scenes I got really annoyed with Klaus but after watching them over and over I found that each scene could easily be used to mock and laugh at Klaus because of how incapable of 사랑 he is and how he can't seem to grasp the feeling of love, so who is he to sit and place judgment on Damon's feelings for Elena and also say what he believes is true 사랑 when he doesn't even know the full story 또는 has seen what's been happening all this time. So I took advantage of all this and decided to write another mocking 기사 but this time I've targeted our good friend klaus, whom I 사랑 but his character just pissed me off in 4x12. Anyway it's me 글쓰기 as though Klaus is talking but It's my thoughts that are being written and I'm basically just making a huge joke out of Klaus and his logic. So enjoy :)

First Scene:
"So um Damon seeing as though I have to babysit 당신 for god knows how long and there's still a good 시간 또는 so till I need to feed 당신 your baby bottle of blood lets talk about 사랑 shall we. I'd like to think that it's an emotion I'm very much familiar with and seem to feel for so many people, including my dear mother whom I murdered years ago. May she rest in peace. Now Damon how is it that dear sweet Elena can overlook all your flaws? I mean you've done some pretty screwed up sh*t in your past but now you've changed for the better and 당신 allow your humanity to dictate your life. Yet I still can't quite fathom how someone as handsome, honest, loyal, caring, protective, selfless and loving as 당신 could land a girl as compassionate and as forgiving as Elena. Though I'll admit I am quite sure it has nothing to do with the sire bond. So did 당신 manipulate her, compel her? Actually scratch that I'm just trying to get under your skin, but please for the 사랑 of god give me some damn 조언 on how 당신 scored with her? What is it 당신 say to her that keeps her around? I'll admit I'm envious of 당신 both. I want Caroline and I to be just like 당신 and Elena."

초 scene:
"Now I know I asked 당신 for 사랑 조언 instead of Stefan but your brother Stefan's 사랑 for Elena is stronger than yours even though he let her die just a few weeks back and now he can't seem to accept her as a vampire. 당신 on the other hand would of saved her in a heartbeat had it of been 당신 on the bridge that night and also 당신 seem to accept Elena in any shape 또는 form. Yet I'm still convinced Stefan's 사랑 is the strongest. I mean Stefan resisted compulsion so he wouldn't have to bite Elena now that's love. 당신 however could not resist compulsion even though 당신 begged Jeremy to kill 당신 instead so 당신 wouldn't have to kill him. 당신 were willing to die then and there for Elena and Jeremy but no that 사랑 is not enough. Not nearly enough as Saint Stefan's. I mean Stefan let Elena die alone in a car at the bottom of a river but he was able to resist the urge to bite her for like 5 초 until eventually he did so he must definitely 사랑 her more, don't 당신 think? Being able to restrain yourself for a little while from feeding on the person 당신 사랑 is a much bigger declaration of 사랑 than saving them from dying, and willing to die without hesitation 의해 the hands of the person 당신 have been compelled to kill, true story look it up in the Klaus handbook of love, I wrote it. See Damon I know 더 많이 about 사랑 than anyone else in the world. They call me Klaus Cupid Mikaelson because I'm like the 앤젤 of 사랑 baby. I've got all the ladies lining up even my current crush Caroline is banging on my front door at this very 초 hoping I'll let her in for some serious lovin. Oh and I know you're very much in 사랑 with Elena even though just a few 분 이전 I was saying the complete opposite because 당신 couldn't seem to fight the compulsion for her. But just so 당신 know, Elena will run back to Stefan once she turns human because remember that time while she was under your sire bond influence 당신 flat out told her in a clear concise way that the one thing that would make 당신 the happiest man in the world is if she fell out of 사랑 with Stefan and fell deeply in 사랑 with you? Do 당신 remember that Damon? I'm an expert in this field and I can tell 당신 right here right now to just give up dude your fairytale ending ain't coming. I'm also a certified Psychic incase 당신 didn't know, I can predict the future. Like remember all those times that I could foresee every disaster that came my way like when 당신 all desiccated me, when Tyler was going behind my back and unsiring my hybrids. I could foresee it all. I'm Nostradamus the second. Now sit here and shut up while I go save my brother Kols 나귀, 엉덩이 from another crazy situation I saw coming from a mile away..."