If 당신 have ever doubted the insanity of the C.A.T. Kittens, this will cease your doubts. I think it got long enough to be put into 기사 포럼 thread. This makes absolutely no sense, does have swearwords, includes lots exremely odd things, and is kind of innapropriate. You've been warned.
~~~~
One 일 Bella fell over while being chased 의해 Steve the Spider, while Edward and Jacob were kissing. Pausing every once in a while to get a dazzling breath when Alice walked in on them and said - "Edward, what are 당신 doing? 당신 know Bella is over there. Wait...you're GAY?"
"Yes, but don't tell Bella because she'll slap me and whine endlessly and probably try staking me and fall over nothing."
"I'LL EAT HIM!" said Alice butchly.
She walked over to Edward and started confessing that she had crafted special BBQ sauce.
"Impressive. Can I pour it in that bowl over there of chicken?" Edward asked. "Sure" so then she grabbed her sauce but instead of pouring it, she threw it on Bella. "Yummy, That'll make Jazz so happy and sexy".
So then Bella ate herself and Jake and Eddy started screaming "why didn't 당신 키스 me before 당신 met Bella?" "Well, I didn't because I didn't know I was a lesbian until Bella killed Steve the spider"
Everyone stopped and looked at her while she cried "Bella! My love! Please, please don't eat the carcass!"
Bella ate him and Eddy screamed "I NEED TOILET!" So then Eddy grabbed Jacob and dazzled him with another fucking 키스 with mega tongue and lower fondling that made Bella throw up all over Eddy's hair. Then Carlisle came in ranting about how to kill a demented cockroach. A humongous boot randomly came and toppled Carlisle over while Rosalie and Alice made out.
Emmett took off stealing the 침상, 소파 saying, "Score! I got Jasper!" Then he killed Renesmee and Jacob started break dancing in a red 가죽 끈, 끈 팬티 to 'I'm Blue' while eating snails and also eating Renesmee's carcass. Pogo stick here, pogo stick there, BOOM! Goes the pogo stick!
Esme then sang cheesecake love, meanwhile Carlisle ran away into the bathroom while the Queleutes fought Albus Dumbledore! Dumbledore won 의해 using Avada Kadavra the green light of a lightsaber that flashed in the sky,, Voldemort ran after Edward screaming “Cedric I gonna finish you!” while Hermionie kicked ron into a fight with Emmett… Rosalie meanwile was arguing with luna (lovegood) about nargles. Eddy ran from Voldy accedently into the about the author page s.meyer screamed “EDWARD MARY ME NOW 또는 I SWEAR I'LL FEED 당신 TO LOADS OF TWIHARDS!"
Edward said "I'LL MARRY YOU!" So s.meyer wrote "I AM IMPRINTING ON YOU!" Edward started crying "Bella my 사랑 it was always sucks to talk to 당신 but Smeyer must
die"
bella said "No! Our 사랑 everlasts!"
So Alice and Jasper went to the 슈퍼마켓 to buy 공식 만찬, 저녁 식사 for Edward's Godzilla named Chuckles.
Meanwhile Edward proposed to carlise eventhough Carlisle is already a sumo wrestler. Esme found out and bit Edward. So he danced while 키싱 Carlisle. Jacob said "Bella 당신 are very scintillating and incandescant."
Meanwhile Edward and Rosalie sparkle fought over a micro pig with hairy tails and many ears and blue 모피 which Rupert Grint said was totally gay and pubescent but also scrumptious, as he ate many 베이컨 rolls while sumoing carlisle to dance like a headless chicken. jacob and renesmee hat each other,, they all sparkle with diamondy elegance and 무지개, 레인 보우 like lasers shooting out of their eyes.
So Emmett ran into the all repeatedly. Until Rosalie slapped him sane. So Eddie was with child when Bella exploded 의해 turning into a giant headless monkey. Kumkuats fell on Carlisle, screaming insanely because Charlie's moustache tickled his sparkly peppa pig teddy.
Until Bella stabbed Charlie's peppa pig, Angela came in and cried ovr the spilled cornflakes, until she confessed "I'm a witch." Then Jacob said, "ME TOO! OMG!"
~~~~~
I'll update this in... a certain amount of posts. link
This whole story is the work of: CULLEN-HALE (The original poster), Myf_1992, Asvini, Pleniluno, moo000, PMT, Dearheart, ilovecreed_13, Cinders, xXSweeneyXx, Mrs-Grint, crazyduds2, OCFan123, kayleebabee, snoznoodle, Frizzhead, xxXsk8trXxx, twilight4ever-4, Free_Spirit, and himynameisEPIC. If I forgot anyone, please tell me.
(That took FOREVER.)
~~~~
One 일 Bella fell over while being chased 의해 Steve the Spider, while Edward and Jacob were kissing. Pausing every once in a while to get a dazzling breath when Alice walked in on them and said - "Edward, what are 당신 doing? 당신 know Bella is over there. Wait...you're GAY?"
"Yes, but don't tell Bella because she'll slap me and whine endlessly and probably try staking me and fall over nothing."
"I'LL EAT HIM!" said Alice butchly.
She walked over to Edward and started confessing that she had crafted special BBQ sauce.
"Impressive. Can I pour it in that bowl over there of chicken?" Edward asked. "Sure" so then she grabbed her sauce but instead of pouring it, she threw it on Bella. "Yummy, That'll make Jazz so happy and sexy".
So then Bella ate herself and Jake and Eddy started screaming "why didn't 당신 키스 me before 당신 met Bella?" "Well, I didn't because I didn't know I was a lesbian until Bella killed Steve the spider"
Everyone stopped and looked at her while she cried "Bella! My love! Please, please don't eat the carcass!"
Bella ate him and Eddy screamed "I NEED TOILET!" So then Eddy grabbed Jacob and dazzled him with another fucking 키스 with mega tongue and lower fondling that made Bella throw up all over Eddy's hair. Then Carlisle came in ranting about how to kill a demented cockroach. A humongous boot randomly came and toppled Carlisle over while Rosalie and Alice made out.
Emmett took off stealing the 침상, 소파 saying, "Score! I got Jasper!" Then he killed Renesmee and Jacob started break dancing in a red 가죽 끈, 끈 팬티 to 'I'm Blue' while eating snails and also eating Renesmee's carcass. Pogo stick here, pogo stick there, BOOM! Goes the pogo stick!
Esme then sang cheesecake love, meanwhile Carlisle ran away into the bathroom while the Queleutes fought Albus Dumbledore! Dumbledore won 의해 using Avada Kadavra the green light of a lightsaber that flashed in the sky,, Voldemort ran after Edward screaming “Cedric I gonna finish you!” while Hermionie kicked ron into a fight with Emmett… Rosalie meanwile was arguing with luna (lovegood) about nargles. Eddy ran from Voldy accedently into the about the author page s.meyer screamed “EDWARD MARY ME NOW 또는 I SWEAR I'LL FEED 당신 TO LOADS OF TWIHARDS!"
Edward said "I'LL MARRY YOU!" So s.meyer wrote "I AM IMPRINTING ON YOU!" Edward started crying "Bella my 사랑 it was always sucks to talk to 당신 but Smeyer must
die"
bella said "No! Our 사랑 everlasts!"
So Alice and Jasper went to the 슈퍼마켓 to buy 공식 만찬, 저녁 식사 for Edward's Godzilla named Chuckles.
Meanwhile Edward proposed to carlise eventhough Carlisle is already a sumo wrestler. Esme found out and bit Edward. So he danced while 키싱 Carlisle. Jacob said "Bella 당신 are very scintillating and incandescant."
Meanwhile Edward and Rosalie sparkle fought over a micro pig with hairy tails and many ears and blue 모피 which Rupert Grint said was totally gay and pubescent but also scrumptious, as he ate many 베이컨 rolls while sumoing carlisle to dance like a headless chicken. jacob and renesmee hat each other,, they all sparkle with diamondy elegance and 무지개, 레인 보우 like lasers shooting out of their eyes.
So Emmett ran into the all repeatedly. Until Rosalie slapped him sane. So Eddie was with child when Bella exploded 의해 turning into a giant headless monkey. Kumkuats fell on Carlisle, screaming insanely because Charlie's moustache tickled his sparkly peppa pig teddy.
Until Bella stabbed Charlie's peppa pig, Angela came in and cried ovr the spilled cornflakes, until she confessed "I'm a witch." Then Jacob said, "ME TOO! OMG!"
~~~~~
I'll update this in... a certain amount of posts. link
This whole story is the work of: CULLEN-HALE (The original poster), Myf_1992, Asvini, Pleniluno, moo000, PMT, Dearheart, ilovecreed_13, Cinders, xXSweeneyXx, Mrs-Grint, crazyduds2, OCFan123, kayleebabee, snoznoodle, Frizzhead, xxXsk8trXxx, twilight4ever-4, Free_Spirit, and himynameisEPIC. If I forgot anyone, please tell me.
(That took FOREVER.)
There are some core things about the mythical creatures I wish Meyer would have given an actual explaination for:
Vampires
1. Turning into bats
She could have explained it as bats are attracted to vampires, but she choose not to adress it at all.
2. Sleeping in a coffin
How about that having something to do with them faking their own death 또는 something?
3. Lack of Fangs
An evolution over time to adapt.
4. Sunlight
Related to the fact 뱀파이어 are considered to be connected to the devil.
Werewolves
1. Full-Moon
They meet at the full-moon.
2. Their Anger Issues (yes, I know that some of the 늑대 have this)
It could have been explained as a reaction to the moons phases.
3. Pack- Mind
Evolved trait 또는 even a gift from the spirits.
Vampires
1. Turning into bats
She could have explained it as bats are attracted to vampires, but she choose not to adress it at all.
2. Sleeping in a coffin
How about that having something to do with them faking their own death 또는 something?
3. Lack of Fangs
An evolution over time to adapt.
4. Sunlight
Related to the fact 뱀파이어 are considered to be connected to the devil.
Werewolves
1. Full-Moon
They meet at the full-moon.
2. Their Anger Issues (yes, I know that some of the 늑대 have this)
It could have been explained as a reaction to the moons phases.
3. Pack- Mind
Evolved trait 또는 even a gift from the spirits.
Jacob: Let me call Bella.*dials Bella's number*
Operator: I am sorry. This person is talking to (Bella's voice)Edward Cullen. Please leave a message after the tone.
*tone never comes up*
Jacob: OH C'MON!
The 다음 day.
Jacob: I want Bella NAO!*calls Bella*
(Answering machine): The Swans are out right now, please leave a message after the beep.
[beep never stops]
Jacob: OH C'MON!
The 일 after that:
Bella: *makes a new answering machine*
Jacob: *calls*
[Machine]: Hi, its Bella. If its Jacob, stop leaving messages saying "OH C'MON!" and if your not a Cullen 또는 my dad, don't call me. At ALL!
*beep*
Jacob: NOOOOOO!
*beep*
Jacob: ?
*beep beep beep beep*
{This phone will self destruct in 3, 2, 1}
Jacob: OH C'MON!
[Check the TS spot to see who made it, its me. So don't kill me about 'You 스톨, 훔친 this!'].
Operator: I am sorry. This person is talking to (Bella's voice)Edward Cullen. Please leave a message after the tone.
*tone never comes up*
Jacob: OH C'MON!
The 다음 day.
Jacob: I want Bella NAO!*calls Bella*
(Answering machine): The Swans are out right now, please leave a message after the beep.
[beep never stops]
Jacob: OH C'MON!
The 일 after that:
Bella: *makes a new answering machine*
Jacob: *calls*
[Machine]: Hi, its Bella. If its Jacob, stop leaving messages saying "OH C'MON!" and if your not a Cullen 또는 my dad, don't call me. At ALL!
*beep*
Jacob: NOOOOOO!
*beep*
Jacob: ?
*beep beep beep beep*
{This phone will self destruct in 3, 2, 1}
Jacob: OH C'MON!
[Check the TS spot to see who made it, its me. So don't kill me about 'You 스톨, 훔친 this!'].
Created:~Alice~
Q: What to Edward and a 크리스마스 나무, 트리 have in common?
A: Their balls are for decoration.
Bella: You're pale white and ice cold...I know what 당신 are.
Edward: Say it. Say it!
Bella: Vanilla Ice Cream!
Edward: Bella...
Bella: Yes?
Edward: I just want to know how much 당신 mean to me.
Bella: Aaw...
Edward: 당신 know, what with me being an ancient VIRGIN vampire and everything...
Bella: Yeah?
Edward: Well, people were starting to think I was, y'know-
Bella: Gay?
Edward: ...
Edward: Old fashioned.
Bella: ...
Bella: Oh.
Q: How do 당신 kill a brain?
A: Put it in the same room with Ms Meyer and her 책 and wait for two minutes.
Q: What did bella say when the shops ran low off the glitter?
A: yeeew!!! Edward 당신 suck!!!!
Q: What to Edward and a 크리스마스 나무, 트리 have in common?
A: Their balls are for decoration.
Bella: You're pale white and ice cold...I know what 당신 are.
Edward: Say it. Say it!
Bella: Vanilla Ice Cream!
Edward: Bella...
Bella: Yes?
Edward: I just want to know how much 당신 mean to me.
Bella: Aaw...
Edward: 당신 know, what with me being an ancient VIRGIN vampire and everything...
Bella: Yeah?
Edward: Well, people were starting to think I was, y'know-
Bella: Gay?
Edward: ...
Edward: Old fashioned.
Bella: ...
Bella: Oh.
Q: How do 당신 kill a brain?
A: Put it in the same room with Ms Meyer and her 책 and wait for two minutes.
Q: What did bella say when the shops ran low off the glitter?
A: yeeew!!! Edward 당신 suck!!!!