Critical Analysis of Twilight Club
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This 기사 is not meant to offend. It is mostly comedy and uses examples from 더 많이 fandoms then just Twilight. There will also be examples that tak lyke dis and capslock. So be careful when reading.

I'm sure we are all familiar with a fangirl. (Or fanboy, but they are different and we will not be discussing them today.) Put simply, fangirls are very, very, VERY big 팬 of something. Twilight fangirls are obsessed with Twilight and will probably have as much Twilight merchandise as possible. A Bangel fangirl may eat 당신 in your sleep if 당신 are a hardcore Spuffy shipper, and a 팬팝 fangirl just can't leave the computer.

'How do 당신 identify a fangirl?!' 당신 ask. Well, this 기사 will tell 당신 how.


1. EEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!! (The squeal.)

당신 have probably heard this before. The first and most identifying characteristic of a fangirl is the squeal. It is high-pitched, loud, and also accompanied 의해 grinning insanely, jumping up and down, and excessive hyperactiveness. This is used to show the ultimate 사랑 for their fandom.
Example: EEEEEE!!!! HOUSE AND CUDDY ARE SOO GONNA GET TOGETHER 다음 SEASON!!!!! EEEEEEEE!!!!


2. ch@tsp34k

Some (I REPEAT: SOME.) fangirls type 또는 speak in a non-literate way. I'm not sure why they do this. It seems they have no reason. (While most fangirls do actually type so 당신 can understand them, there is always the chatspeak group.)
Example: omg dont u jst luvv harry and herminie 2gethr???? its lyke ttlly teh best ship evr!!!


3. The.... dark side.

A fraction of fangirls have a bad side. Well, the majority of fangirls have a bad side. this bad side is likely to show if somebody disagrees with them. Usually it just involves glaring 또는 excessive exclamation points, but there have been violent cases before.
Example: What do 당신 MEAN 당신 ship Booth/Angela?? EVERYONE knows Booth and Brennan are meant to be! I can't believe you! That is utter insanity!!!1! *ebulglare*


4. OMG I MUST HAVE THAT!!! (the Merchandise)

One of the best known fangirl traits is excessive merchandise. Some fangirls go out of their way to have everything- the coffee mug, the light up pen, the lipgloss, the book bag.
Example: Don't 당신 just LOOOOVE my Edward Cullen body glitter? I keep it in my edard and bella twilight bag! I also have my Cullen crest bracelet, and I keep my Alice Cullen keychain in the pocket of my Bella 백조 jacket!


5. I must be there! Syndrome

Fangirls will probably do almost anything to do something related to their fandom. this means leaving sports practice early to watch that beloved episode, staying up late for the midnight book release, 또는 canceling plans for a special event. They don't usually care about the consequences. (Note: The writer of this 기사 does not encourage 당신 to do what is in the example.)
Example: OH NOO! My cousin's wedding is on the same 일 of the Shanshu Awards! Oh, what shall I do? I joined 팬팝 for the sole reason of participating in this!! Ah well. It's just a wedding. There will be 더 많이 in my life. Besides, the Shanshu awards are WAYYY 더 많이 important!


6. Idolizing

These fangirls go to the with that actor(ress). They may write them long 사랑 letters, photoshop a picture of the two together, follow them around...
Example: OH MY GOD! Robert McDreamy Pattinson is coming to East Cupcake, Illinois! I must go see him, for we shall be married and fall in love!!!


7. FIRSTCOMMENTYAYYY! Syndrome

A movie 미리 보기 is released. A promotional is shown. A sneak peak is revealed. This fangirl will be the first to know.
Example: Yay! the New Moon special 미리 보기 was released on youtube! I MUST have first 코멘트 또는 I will die!



Hopefully now 당신 are 더 많이 versed in the subtle and dangerous art of identifying fangirls. When 당신 have mastered these beginner/intermediate techniques, 당신 will be able to 옮기기 on to the Advanced/Masters portion of the guide.
Parodying the Twilight book and movie saga,the show examines our culture of obsession through the story of teenage outsider Bella 백조 who risks everything when she embarks on a star-crossed romance with Vampire Edward Cullen.
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