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posted by isabelle_905
This isn't an attempt to pass this 기사 off as my own. I read it and I thought maybe others would appreciate it as well.


의해 Jessica Leigh Griffith


This is my tribute to the nice girls. To the nice girls who are overlooked, who become 프렌즈 and nothing more, who spend hours fixating upon their looks and their personalities and their actions because it must be they that are doing something wrong. This is for the girls who don't give it up on the first date, who don't want to play mind games, who provide a comforting hug and a supportive audience for a story they've heard a thousand times. This is for the girls who understand that they aren't perfect and that the guys they're interested in aren't either, for the girls who flirt and laugh and worry and obsess over the slightest glance, whisper, touch, because somehow they are able to keep alive that hope that maybe... maybe this time he'll have understood. This is an homage to the girls who laugh loud and often, who are comfortable in skirts and sweats and combat boots, who care 더 많이 than they should for guys who don't deserve their attention. This is for those girls who have been in the trenches, who have watched other girls time and time again fake up and make up and fuck up the guys in their lives without saying a word. This is for the girls who have been there from the beginning and have heard the trite words of advice, from "there are plenty of 물고기 in the sea," to "time heals all wounds." This is to honor those girls who know that guys are just as scared as they are, who know that they deserve better, who are seeking to find it.

This is for the girls who have never been in love, but know that it's an experience that they don't want to miss out on. For the girls who have sought a night with 프렌즈 and been greeted 의해 a night of catcalling, rude 코멘트 and explicit invitations that they'd rather not have experienced. This is for the girls who have spent their weekends sitting on the sidelines of a 맥주 pong tournament 또는 a case race, 또는 playing Florence Nightingale for a vomiting guy friend 또는 a comatose crush, who have received a drunk phone call just before dawn from someone who doesn't care enough to invite them over but is still willing to pass out in their bed. This is for the girls who have left sad song lyrics in their away messages, who have tried to make someone understand through a subliminally appealing profile, who have time and time again dropped their male friend hint after hint after hint only to watch him chase after the first blonde girl in a skirt. This is for the girls who have been told that they're too good 또는 too smart 또는 too pretty, who have been given compliments as a way of breaking off a relationship, who have ever been told they are only wanted as a friend.

This one's for the girls who you can take 집 to mom, but won't because it's easier to sleep with a whore than foster a relationship; this is for the girls who have been led on 의해 words and kisses and touches, all of which were either only true for the moment, 또는 never real to begin with. This is for the girls who have allowed a guy into their head and 심장 and bed, only to discover that he's just not ready, he's just not over her, he's just not looking to be tied down; this is for the girls who believe the excuses because it's easier to believe that it's not that they don't want you, it's that they don't want anyone. This is for the girls who have had their hearts broken and their hopes dashed 의해 someone too cavalier to have cared in the first place; this is for the nights spent dissecting every word and syllable and inflection in his speech, for the nights when you've returned 집 alone, for the nights when you've seen from across the room him leaning a little too close, 또는 standing a little too near, 또는 talking a little too softly for the girl he's with to be a 랜덤 hookup. This is for the girls who have endured party after party in his presence, finally having realized that it wasn't that he didn't want a relationship: it was that he didn't want you. I honor 당신 for the night his dog died 또는 his grandmother died 또는 his little brother crashed his car and 당신 held him, thinking that if 당신 only comforted him just right, 또는 said the right words, 또는 rubbed his back in the right way then perhaps he'd realize what it was that he already had. This is for the night 당신 realized that it would never happen, and the sunrise 당신 saw the 다음 morning after failing to sleep.

This is for the "I really like you, so let's still be friends" 코멘트 after 당신 read 더 많이 into a situation than he ever intended; this is for never realizing that when 당신 choose friends, 당신 seldom choose those which make 당신 cry yourself to sleep. This is for the hugs you've received from your female friends, for the nights they've reassured 당신 that 당신 are beautiful and intelligent and amazing and loyal and truly worthy of a great guy; this is for the despair 당신 all felt as 당신 sat in the aftermath of your tears, knowing that that night the only companionship you'd have was with a 베개 and your teddy bear. This is for the girls who have been used and abused, who have endured what he was giving because at least he was giving something; this is for the stupidity of the nights we've believed that something was better than nothing, though his something was nothing we'd have ever wanted. This is for the girls who have been satisfied with too little and who have learned never to expect anything more: for the girls who don't think that they deserve more, because they've been conditioned for so long to accept the scraps thrown to them 의해 guys.

This is what I don't understand. Men sit and 질문 and whine that girls are only attracted to the mean guys, the guys who berate them and belittle them and don't appreciate them and don't want them; who use them for sex and think of little else than where their 다음 conquest will be made. Men complain that they never meet nice girls, girls who are genuinely interested and compelling, who are intelligent and sweet and smart and beautiful; men despair that no good women want to share in their lives, that girls play mind games, that girls 사랑 to keep them hanging. Yet, men, I ask you: were 당신 to meet one of these genuinely interested, thrillingly compelling, interesting and intelligent and sweet and beautiful and smart girls, were 당신 to give her your number and wait for her to call... and if 당신 were to receive a call from her the 다음 일 and she, in her truthful, loyal, intelligent and straightforward nice girl fashion, were to tell 당신 that she finds 당신 intriguing and attractive and interesting and worth her time and perhaps material from which she could fashion a boyfriend, would 당신 또는 would 당신 not immediately call your 프렌즈 to tell them of the "stalker chick" you'd met the night prior, who called 당신 and wore her 심장 on her sleeve and told the truth? And would you, 또는 would 당신 not, refuse to make plans with her, speak with her, see her again, and once again return to the bar 또는 club 또는 party scene and 검색 once 더 많이 for this "nice girl" who 당신 just cannot seem to find? Because therein lies the truth, guys: we nice girls are everywhere. But you're not looking for a nice girl. You're not looking for someone genuinely interested in your intramural 농구 game, 또는 your anatomy midterm grade, 또는 that argument 당신 keep having with your father; you're looking for a quick fix, a night when 당신 can pretend to have a connection with another human being which is just as disposable as the condom 당신 were using during it.

So don't say you're on the lookout for nice girls, guys, when 당신 pass us up on every step 당신 take. Sometimes we go undercover; sometimes we go in disguise: sometimes when that girl in the low cut 셔츠 또는 the too tight miniskirt won't answer your catcalls, sometimes you're looking at a nice girl in whore's clothing - - we might say we like the attention, we might blush and giggle and turn back to our friends, but we're all thinking the same thing: "This isn't me. Tomorrow morning, I'll be wearing a t-shirt and flannel shorts, I'll have slept alone and I'll be making my hungover best friend breakfast. See through the disguise. See me. " 당신 never do. Why? Because 당신 only see the exterior, you only see the slutty girl who welcomes those advances. 당신 don't want the nice girl... so don't say you're looking for a relationship: relationships take time and energy and intent, three things we're willing to extend - - but in return, we're looking for compassion and loyalty and trust, three things 당신 never seem willing to express. Maybe nice guys finish last, but in the race they're running they're chasing after the whores and the sluts and the easy-targets... the nice girls are waiting at the finish line with water and towels and a congratulatory hug (and yes, if she's a nice girl and she likes you, the sweatiness probably won't matter), hoping against hope that maybe you'll realize that they're the ones that 당신 want at the end of that silly race.

So maybe it won't last forever. Maybe some of those guys in that race will turn in their running shoes and make their way to the concession stand where we're waiting; however, until that happens, we still have each other, that silly race to watch, and all the 초콜릿 we can eat (because what’s a concession stand at a race without some chocolate?)
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